FARK.com: (1673279) Christian group says silver pledge rings better than condoms. Logic goes insane and jumps off cliff

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		Christian group says silver pledge rings better than condoms. Logic goes insane and jumps off cliff (cbsnews.com)		601
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Clever Neologism		2005-09-19 01:42:24 PM

Sexual repression sucks.

Take it from a victim of Southern Baptists.

/denying reality cannot make you happy in the end

Sloth_DC		2005-09-19 01:43:02 PM

goodcall: Where in the Bible does it say to use only prayer to be fight disease?

Right after it says, "Thou shalt not use extruded latex products to protect your wang."

kyoryu		2005-09-19 01:43:16 PM

Partisan:
Undoubtably, but the payoff/risk/consequence ratios arean't really any worse than other recreational activites, including many sports.

Really?

Ya think?

Hrm.

Pregnancy - if the woman chooses to not abort it, welcome to 18 years of child support payments. My hockey doesn't cost that.

Incurable STD - not much of a chance of an injury that will be with me my whole life.

So... yeah, I'd say that the possible consequences of foolin' around are worse.

Now, I'm not a fundie, but I do think that there's a good middle road that can be taken. Teach kids how to use condoms, but explain to them that they're not 100%, and that the consequences on failure are dramatically, drastically worse than almost anything else that they can do at that age.

Do everything possible to discourage them from having sex, but make sure they know how to use a condom/etc. should it come to that.

And even if these chastity pledges don't work 100%, if you can increase the age at which they begin having sex, and if you can reduce the number of partners, isn't that a win?

Let's say you have sex with partners an average of 10 times. If condoms have a 10% failure rate (not sure the actual rate), then you're looking at a pretty good chance that you'll get anything your partner has. Not good. If you encourage (even passively encourage by doing nothing to discourage) kids from having sex, then you're dramatically increasing the risks that they get.

Yeah, I think the fundies are going overboard with the whole 'don't even teach about birth control' bit. That's a bit retarded. The fact that the kids are having oral/anal sex demonstrates the flaws in their approach.

But, come on, even reducing the amount that kids are farking is a good thing.

And no, I'm not a fundie. Hell, I'm not even Christian. I'm just a happy lil' atheist guy.

Xaxor		2005-09-19 01:46:08 PM

goodcall

A quick search found this:
James
5:14 Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord:
5:15 And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.

There is a currently existing sect of Christianity called Christian Sciencetists who do live, and sadly, but not unexpectedly, die by this.

Clever Neologism		2005-09-19 01:46:10 PM

smeegle

matrix29: The more I read about Fred Phelps, the more I hope he is brutally murdered.

I came close to doing the deed myself when he showed up with picket signs at a friends funeral. Luckily my freinds veered me to the other side of the street and up into the Church before I had my chance.

How much of a farking asshat do you have to be to screw with another person's funeral?

Un-farking-believable.

Lollipop165		2005-09-19 01:46:16 PM

kyoryu

I was thinking more along the lines of a concussion during hockey or a broken back in horseback riding or something.

Sloth_DC		2005-09-19 01:47:43 PM

kyoryu: Incurable STD - not much of a chance of an injury that will be with me my whole life.

You're kidding, right? A *huge* percentage of sports participants end up with lifelong injuries, often to the knees and/or ankles. Granted, most of them are relatively minor, but still.

Now, I'm not a fundie, but I do think that there's a good middle road that can be taken. Teach kids how to use condoms, but explain to them that they're not 100%, and that the consequences on failure are dramatically, drastically worse than almost anything else that they can do at that age.

Congratulations - that's exactly what everybody except the fundies wants.

lomans		2005-09-19 01:48:11 PM

The problem with religious people pledging not to have sex is they also think they shouldn't masturbate. Good luck with not farking up one or the other.

Now, if they would just be a little less...impossibly unrealistic and let themselves masturbate guilt free, then they have a reasonable chance of avoiding sex until marriage.

I will never respect the fact that these people that revere Gods creation detest their own INDIVIDUAL sexuality. God made you horny. That is how you are made. Puberty is not an act of the devil. Quit trying to pretend otherwise.

You don't want to fark someone until marriage, fine. But trying to ignore or supress your sexual feelings entirely is like trying to fart against thunder.

But I guess it's a symptom of a belief system where you need justafication for everything. You can't just be you, even when you're by yourself.

Lollipop165		2005-09-19 01:48:37 PM

Clever Neologism

"How much of a farking asshat do you have to be to screw with another person's funeral? Un-farking-believable."

He's JUST following the WORD OF GOD, gawrsh!

/I hate Fred Phelps too

Clever Neologism		2005-09-19 01:49:12 PM

Sloth_DC

goodcall: Where in the Bible does it say to use only prayer to be fight disease?

Right after it says, "Thou shalt not use extruded latex products to protect your wang."

Isn't that right after the "Thou shalt not prevent thy period, for thou shalt be found naughty in His sight?"

fancyjamtime		2005-09-19 01:49:50 PM

C1ofUnknown:

Good call. Anyone who's a Christian needs to speak out against these assclowns, regardless of whatever sect you belong to. Otherwise, guilty by association.

I used to be tolerant of other religions. Guess I'm getting less flexible in my old age...

/proud Discordan
//tought my kids sex ed BEFORE puberty
///doesn't think Jesus would approve of these nudnicks

fancyjamtime		2005-09-19 01:51:25 PM

should be "taught"

Clever Neologism		2005-09-19 01:53:40 PM

Lollipop165

Clever Neologism

"How much of a farking asshat do you have to be to screw with another person's funeral? Un-farking-believable."

He's JUST following the WORD OF GOD, gawrsh!

/I hate Fred Phelps too

If the friend was male, he would be following the word of God too if he were the one that put him in the casket.

smeegle

You should have taken the chance God gave you do to the right thing ;-).

redmachined		2005-09-19 01:53:53 PM

Submitter here. Just wanted to say hi. Also, thanks for making my first greenlit thread a smashing success.

/threadjack over

Donald_McRonald		2005-09-19 01:54:13 PM

Smarshmallow:

Donald_McRonald: On the other side we have these stupid abstinence pledges. If 20% keep to the pledge, there is a 0% chance that that 20% has an STD. Of the remaining 80%, they have the same chance of infection as the general population.

No, they don't, because they don't know how have safe sex, because nobody taught them.

The part you quoted me as saying ("on the other side....general population") was me quoting enave. My reply to him was essentially what you said.

/it doesn't really matter

LincolnLogolas		2005-09-19 01:55:29 PM

In regards to Phred Phelps:

No convention, Baptist or otherise, will touch him with a ten foot pole. Usually the police will schedule them a "protest window" where they're actually allowed to protest.

As sick and disgusting as they are: I respect their right to free speech, just as I think mine should be respected. They have, for over two decades, been peaceful. They have not attempted to incite violence, although they're demanding the death penalty be instituted for the "crime" of homosexuality.

Yeah, sick farks. I didn't think it was even serious until I saw them out here in Los Angeles. I started laughing at them.

Bukharin		2005-09-19 01:56:40 PM

zolividor:Did anyone else notice that it says the government is wasting billions in public fund on a program that has an 80% failure rate?

Sloth_DC: Yeah, seems to have an unusually high success rate for a federal program, doesn't it?

Perhaps it's hard to fill a sex-ed bill with pork?

smeegle		2005-09-19 01:56:51 PM

Clever Neologism:

How much of a farking asshat do you have to be to screw with another person's funeral?

Why a god fearin asshat I believe:P

Partisan		2005-09-19 01:57:03 PM

kyoryu:

I have to go, so this isn't as good a reply as it should be.

Condoms combined with the pill reduces chance of pregnancy to virtually nothing. Even if she did get pregnant abortion is an option.

Compare with breaking your neck in hockey or football or something. You can't abort that, can ya.

And even if these chastity pledges don't work 100%, if you can increase the age at which they begin having sex, and if you can reduce the number of partners, isn't that a win?

Not if they don't use condoms because they were told they won't help much. Pledges have been shown to delay onset of sexual activity maybe a year or so, but with that comes lower rates of condom use. Thats a huge loss.

If condoms have a 10% failure rate

They don't. Condom failure rates aren't even close to this high. Also consider the rate at which HIV is transmitted: 1/500 chance of contracting HIV from an HIV+ partner during vaginal sex. Thats UNPROTECTED sex, with a partner YOU ALREADY KNOW has HIV.

I have more to say, but look up some of the rates of STD and STI transmissions, and you will see that, combined with condom use, the chance of contraction is very low.

Gotta go, sorry for the sloppy post.

smeegle		2005-09-19 01:59:05 PM

Clever Neologism: You should have taken the chance God gave you do to the right thing ;-).

Oh the temptation (actually temper) was great but he wasn't worth the time -o-day.

steelejr		2005-09-19 02:00:09 PM

Come on folks! Don't you see... all you antichristians are to blame! If "we" were allowed to monitor our little girls (I mean come on... they are the gatekeepers... thanks Eve) and prevent them from exposing their bodies, driving, and going out in public without a man's permission then these abstinence programs would surely work! And with so many fewer STDs and pregnant teens the quality, joy, and satisfaction we all get from living would be glorious! See if you antichristians would just let "us" fully implement what "we" wish to do then it would all work... it's all your fault! Now go move to Canada!

danlpoon		2005-09-19 02:02:03 PM

I practice safe sex. I almost always pull over.

EnormousJuan		2005-09-19 02:02:23 PM

Vengeance is Mine sayeth the Lord.

You guys should really read "Religion Explained". Very interesting theory...

EdgeRunner		2005-09-19 02:06:12 PM

If you want to prevent your kids from having sex, don't waste money on pledge rings. Instead, buy them a big stack of D&D books, a lifetime supply of Yu-Gi-Oh cards, and force them to wear Star Trek uniforms to school.

This program promises an almost 85% chance of keeping your kids virgins for life. Throw in a TotalFark membership and the odds rise to somewhere around 99.9995%. However, they'll have to work out their needs somehow, so don't be surprised if you catch them running around your house in a crotchless Darth Vader costume masturbating (Master Vadering?) to online Pokemon hentai and photoshopped fakes of Frodo and Gollum playing "find the fish."

smeegle		2005-09-19 02:07:01 PM

steelejr:

See if you antichristians would just let "us" fully implement what "we" wish to do then it would all work.

You are so right. I see the light. It's all my fault, I haven't been pias (pie-ass) enough. I have been smooching way too much honeypot and drinking way too much beer.

I should be beaten by a naked priestess with a fluffy cat-o-nine tales and thrown to the lezziez, I mean lions:)

UncleBuck4U		2005-09-19 02:07:12 PM

Christian Scientists

The ultimate oxymoron!

smeegle		2005-09-19 02:09:29 PM

Clever Neologism:

Isn't that right after the "Thou shalt not prevent thy period, for thou shalt be found naughty in His sight?"

or very cranky

KatieLou1118		2005-09-19 02:09:49 PM

If I had a nickel for every "Christian" that wore a True Love Waits ring, or something along those lines, I could afford a Total Fark account. :)

steelejr		2005-09-19 02:14:14 PM

Now the correct question fundies should ask is... "Do I want all these heathen to go to heaven [with me]?" Give them a few and maybe, just maybe, if logic kicks in, they'll stop trying to "save" all of "them" and worry about "saving" themselves. Good riddance.

fancyjamtime		2005-09-19 02:14:50 PM

Check out the Wikipedia page on Fred Phelps! Whoa!

If he pulled that shait at a loved one of MINE I'd hit his withered face w/ a shovel.

/civil libertarian
//conflicted about justifying 1st Amendment rights for Fred Phelps, NAMBLA, or the Klan

www.godhatesfags.com www.godhatesamerica.com

NSFW by the way. NSF anywhere, in fact.

mindbuzz		2005-09-19 02:15:52 PM

EdgeRunner

Wow. My parents did this exact thing to me. However, they gave me a choice. To be a Christian or a Trekkie. I chose to be a Trekkie and got laid for the first at a convention by a trollop masquerading as a Tribble. Good times and blows your solution.

slortarslayer		2005-09-19 02:18:30 PM

None of the repressed church girl virgins I nailed (Back in my day) listened to their parents about saving themselves for marriage, either. I guess the revelations about the newest abstinence programs not working doesn't surprise me any. Damn, fundies, can't you remember what you were like when you were a teenager?

UncleBuck4U		2005-09-19 02:19:01 PM

Anti-Christians?

I think the progressives are more anti-ignorant and anti-don't shove you're silly mythological ideas down our throat!

Christians that actually follow the teachings of christ are as hard to find as an honest politician. The vast majority of christians I have encountered are anything but christian. When "commandments" become guidelines, the show is over!

smeegle		2005-09-19 02:20:11 PM

fancyjamtime:

conflicted about justifying 1st Amendment rights for Fred Phelps, NAMBLA, or the Klan

It is a tough one, but even the assclowns get to talk. It's gotta be that way for all of us.
Doing it at a funeral is low.

He's got his own special level in Dantes Inferno just below the lake of fire/ice.

Entropy		2005-09-19 02:21:21 PM

I hate faith, but I have to recognize that it's not an inherently good or bad thing. I have to recognize that it probably provides comfort to a lot of people. Be that as it may, I think deliberate misinformation, or withholding information about something as vital as this is sheer lunacy. You may believe passionately in the sanctity of marriage, or the importance of celibacy, but you can't force other people to, and children who are going through, or have just gone through puberty are in an extremely delicate situation. If faith in a religion is important enough to them to make a choice to be abstinent until marriage, or abstinent period, well, good for them. As deplorable as it seems to me, I guess it's helpful to a lot of people to believe in something greater than themselves. But a lot of teens will not make themselves, and it is stupid, arrogant, and most of all, downright negligent for us to not educate them about all of the ways that they can protect themselves from getting hurt. They are old enough to make life altering decisions, and they WILL make them whether some people want them to, or not. Why shouldn't they have all the tools they need available to them to make GOOD decisions?

UncleBuck4U		2005-09-19 02:22:16 PM

fancyjamtime

This site is much better; God Hates Shrimp

The only thing more dangerous than a muslim fundamentalists is a christian fundamentalist!

steelejr		2005-09-19 02:22:47 PM

mindbuzz

Wow. My parents did this exact thing to me. However, they gave me a choice. To be a Christian or a Trekkie. I chose to be a Trekkie and got laid for the first at a convention by a trollop masquerading as a Tribble. Good times and blows your solution.

LMAO!

fancyjamtime

NSFW by the way. NSF anywhere, in fact.

I disagree... they are safe in an atmosphere of educated people. Therefore they are just seldomly safe.

fancyjamtime		2005-09-19 02:24:09 PM

smeegle

I know that INTELLECTUALLY...however...I would rejoice in their deaths.

/not very Christian of me, I know
//luckily...

Clever Neologism		2005-09-19 02:27:06 PM

Fark Christians... they need it.

smeegle		2005-09-19 02:28:28 PM

fancyjamtime: I know that INTELLECTUALLY...however...I would rejoice in their deaths.

ditto.
I wonder about that man though. I bet you a dollar to a dime he's got some kind of kink going on behind closed doors.
Wouldn't it be a gas if he was caught and outed?:)
Shiat I would pay to see that.

Crunch61		2005-09-19 02:30:51 PM

mindbuzz
I chose to be a Trekkie and got laid for the first at a convention by a trollop masquerading as a Tribble. Good times and blows your solution.

Not really... You came out alright didn't you? Or do you now have a closet full of Tribbles?

KatieLou1118		2005-09-19 02:30:53 PM

I would like to add a correction to my previous post:

If I had a nickel for every "Christian" that had a True Love Waits ring, or something along those lines AND WAS TAPPING ASS AT THE SAME TIME I could afford a Total Fark account.

There, that makes much more sense.

Nutsac_Jim		2005-09-19 02:31:20 PM

Nah, what they are saying is right.

They are saying that the best way to reduce women from having sex is to get married. Once they get married, they aren't on probation anymore, so they don't have to do all the cool tricks.

Bukharin		2005-09-19 02:31:31 PM

conflicted about justifying 1st Amendment rights for Fred Phelps, NAMBLA, or the Klan

Think about it this way. If one prevents them from speaking freely, they draw much more attention to themselves. (Remember the Nazi party USA vs. Skokie,IL back in the 1970's?)

fancyjamtime		2005-09-19 02:32:13 PM

smeegle:

Did you see Michael Moore's sodomy bus? He followed Phelps around with a pink bus full of very flamboyant homosexuals and harrassed him and his followers. It's worth picking up his DVD's just for that segment!

/forgot the name of the show even though I own em
//getting senile

smeegle		2005-09-19 02:34:19 PM

fancyjamtime: Did you see Michael Moore's sodomy bus?

Oh No, you're kiddin? I have got to see that.
How funny.
What kind of reaction did he get?

itazurakko		2005-09-19 02:36:15 PM

After reading the whole damn thread, I have to wonder what's so bad about the "ABC" method the UN preaches overseas? You know, "Abstinence is safest, if you're going to fark though you should probably Be faithful and restrict it to one tested known partner, and bottom line, Condoms will help avoid disease."

I find the general attitude of "we shouldn't do ANYTHING at all to ameliorate the potential effects of behaviors we don't approve of, because that would lessen the FEAR of those behaviors and make more people do them" utterly backward. It's not only premarital sex this is applied to, either - witness the complaint about programs abroad (complaints by fundy americans) to help prostitutes, etc, or complaints about fixing holes in the safety net, etc.

UncleBuck4U		2005-09-19 02:38:27 PM

I'm all for Christians refraining from breeding!

fancyjamtime		2005-09-19 02:38:53 PM

smeegle

His sister started singing "God hates fags" while the entourage was dancing and singing "YMCA". He drove Phelps off everywhere they stopped. He had "If the bus is a'rockin, don't come a'knockin" on the side of the bus.

I'd watch a reality show dedicated to making that man's life suck as much as possible.

/end threadjack

smeegle		2005-09-19 02:39:33 PM

UncleBuck4U: I'm all for Christians refraining from breeding!

Yeah but it never works out that way, next thing you know the trailor parks are full and there's a complete idot for president.

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