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(CNN)   With nothing else going on in the world currently, CNN reports that Elton John has a farting clock   (cnn.com) divider line 75
    More: Stupid  
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11069 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Sep 2005 at 1:42 PM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2005-09-09 09:19:55 AM  
Is it a mating call?

} sorry..just had to comment this thread
 
2005-09-09 09:21:03 AM  
See, I read cock three times in a row.
 
2005-09-09 09:21:46 AM  
Boy when I misread this headline, I really misread this headline.

"Elton John has a farting c-ck."

/Wipes eyes
 
2005-09-09 09:26:57 AM  
What, you don't have one?
 
2005-09-09 09:42:35 AM  
nekom

What, you don't have one?


no, mine holds it in all day and is in a bad mood as a result
 
2005-09-09 09:48:59 AM  
I can't believe I don't have one.

At least one.
 
2005-09-09 09:52:29 AM  
He's just reminiscing.
 
2005-09-09 09:57:41 AM  
JoeCamelToe: I read cock three times in a row.

I saw that the first time too. Visualized little puffs of fart clouds emanating from the end of a penis.

Weird
 
2005-09-09 10:28:36 AM  
CNN: THEY DECIDE
 
2005-09-09 10:35:47 AM  
In other news: Elton John is a farting cock.
 
2005-09-09 10:39:26 AM  
Huh..it's never the ones I expect to go green that do.

/ I should only submit stuff that I don't think will go green.
// Submitter obviously
 
2005-09-09 01:10:51 PM  
Well, since his arse has been randily rodgered on more than one occasion, when Elton passes gas himself it comes out as a semi-quaver above mid C... and not the flatulent bassoon that most of us produce.

The clock is a reminder of farts past.

And I'll get confirmation on the clock the next time my bud goes and sees his dad drum for E when they get back to Vegas. Although, there's a STRICT RULE that no one goes into Elton's backstage dressing room without permission... even folks who known him for 20 years.
 
2005-09-09 01:36:10 PM  
Elton John's ass has a passing lane, and one for 2 or more occupants.
 
2005-09-09 01:45:19 PM  
Any headline that includes Elton John and fart in the same sentence is one I can't imagine wanting to click on.
 
2005-09-09 01:46:19 PM  
Inspiration for Candle in the Wind?
 
2005-09-09 01:50:27 PM  
Clock: fzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt......
John: Hahahahahahahaahahahahahahaha....

Must be quite a scene to behold? Does it stink up the place as well?
 
2005-09-09 01:51:29 PM  
Virgin clock?
 
2005-09-09 01:52:18 PM  
My first thought was "Who the hell would build a farting clock? And who would buy it?"

Enter: Elton John

/I admit, I'd accomplish all christmas shopping in one fell swoop if I saw em at the store.
 
2005-09-09 01:52:24 PM  
Hey! Did somebody step on a clock?
 
2005-09-09 01:53:16 PM  
It's the entertainment section. Chill.
 
2005-09-09 01:54:23 PM  
This just proves that even pretentious, sixty year old British faggots still love potty humor.

/agrees, "Peachtree Road" should have sold better.
 
2005-09-09 01:58:07 PM  
I would much rather read about Elton's braking wind clock, rather than Jesse Jacksons direaha of the mouth about how evryhting is racist.. double that for the N double A C-P.
 
2005-09-09 01:59:42 PM  
I, too, shall come out and proclaim myself a part of the Freudian circle that read "c0ck" first.

Still, it makes sense that he should have one. I mean, he used to spend about 100,000 bucks a day for years. At some point you have bought everything else there is and reach: the farting clock.

It's the ultimate status symbol.

/I want one.
 
2005-09-09 02:02:18 PM  
GIS for "fart clock"

 
2005-09-09 02:03:00 PM  
he was so awesome once.

/b-b-b benny and the jets!
 
2005-09-09 02:05:01 PM  
This is as good a place as any to ask these questions which have bothered me for years now...

1) I know it should be impossible what with the layout of the kidneys and excretory system and all, but has anyone ever passed gas through their urethra, or known of someone who has? And if so, what caused it?

2) If so, what would this be called...what's the term for the male version of the "queef"?
 
2005-09-09 02:06:49 PM  
First, let me say, I have to get one of those.
Second, I thought it said he farted a cock.
 
2005-09-09 02:10:35 PM  
Banky_The_Hack: 2) If so, what would this be called...what's the term for the male version of the "queef"?


The mail verson of queef is jumping up dialing 911 while praying that exploratory johnson sugery is not suggested.

By the way that comment kinda reminds me of that Southpark epidose when Cartman bets Kyle that he can shiat out of his mouth if he shoves food up his ass.
 
2005-09-09 02:12:17 PM  
if Elton John farts, does it make noise?


/doubt it
 
2005-09-09 02:14:24 PM  
It only farts when he pulls his meat out.
 
2005-09-09 02:14:51 PM  
A little penicillin should clear that right up
 
2005-09-09 02:16:19 PM  
"The Farting Cocks" is my new favorite band name.
 
2005-09-09 02:16:22 PM  
PHIL-A-DEL-PHIA Farting...
I loath, loath, loath, it, yes I do....

1) I know it should be impossible what with the layout of the kidneys and excretory system and all, but has anyone ever passed gas through their urethra, or known of someone who has? And if so, what caused it?

I heard of Urologists pumping air up the urethra, to test for obstructions in the bladder/urethra passageways, then letting it pass back out. Must feel really weird. If you googled it, I bet you'd find something perverted, like EXTREME Sounding.

/EJ is playing Phila. tonight, about a mile from me
//ewww
 
2005-09-09 02:19:37 PM  
CNN - ignoring Asia, Africa, South America, Europe, Australia, and Antarctica one continent at a time, 24 hours a day

/Fox News sucks even harder
 
2005-09-09 02:21:50 PM  
Visualized little puffs of fart clouds emanating from the end of a penis.

If a mommy-part-fart is termed "queef," then what is a penis-fart, tiny though it is?
 
2005-09-09 02:22:12 PM  
Fox News sucks and CNN swallows the rest.....
 
2005-09-09 02:25:41 PM  
he's got a farting clock
he suck the c*ck
you know I read it in a maga-zee-heeennn, ooohhhhh.....
 
2005-09-09 02:28:07 PM  
That must be his "oh" face.
Didnt really need to see it.
 
2005-09-09 02:30:28 PM  
CNN. The Most Trusted Name In News.

By Default.
 
2005-09-09 02:31:44 PM  
as John Stewart said the other day...

THIS... is CNN???
 
2005-09-09 02:32:33 PM  
That's that last thing I expected to read today.
 
2005-09-09 02:34:26 PM  
That's just the sound his ass makes when it getting pounded.
 
2005-09-09 02:37:40 PM  
Anyone remember Horatio Sanz doing his EJ impression on SNL?

Classic.
 
2005-09-09 02:39:52 PM  
amoricanCrowe: Hey! Did somebody step on a clock?

Gold, Jerry! GOLD!

Whoo - I'm still chuckling...

/beware the Japanese Barking Spiders - they're EVERYWHERE!
//wants a farting clock
 
2005-09-09 02:43:47 PM  
HEY MORONS!!!!

WHAT ABOUT THE HURRICANE?????????
AND THE WAR IN IRAQ??????????????
AND THE STARVING CHILDREN????????
AND THE... huh? What's that?
It's just an entertainment piece?
And the whole article in NOT about
farting clocks????

Wow! I've gotta start reading these
articles before I comment on them!
 
2005-09-09 02:46:05 PM  
the cocks in question....

 
2005-09-09 02:50:47 PM  
Inspiration for Candle in the Wind?

No, that one was "Candle in my rim"
Not as famous a song, but more apropriate.
 
2005-09-09 02:50:54 PM  
Neon nuclear Budda! It can happen! From the Merck manual...

Passing gas (air) in the urine, a rare symptom, usually indicates an abnormal connection (fistula) between the urinary tract and the intestine. A fistula may be a complication of diverticulitis, other types of intestinal inflammation, an abscess, or cancer. A fistula between the bladder and the vagina may also cause gas to escape into the urine. Rarely, bacteria in the urine may produce gas.

Fistula! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha....oh man...

Well, if I might be so bold, I'd like to promote the term beef queef or possibly phiss for the expulsion of air from the male urethra.
 
2005-09-09 02:53:06 PM  
Yes Darch, Horatio Sanz playing Elton was fantastic. I died laughing.

(am typing from the grave as I comment on this)
 
2005-09-09 02:57:23 PM  
Well, if I might be so bold, I'd like to promote the term beef queef or possibly phiss for the expulsion of air from the male urethra.

Bravo, Banky_The_Hack, Bravo to you
 
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