does he need a caretaker?
for the house.

Why would anyone willingly drink urine? That's almost as disgusting as Diet Pepsi. (no, I have not tasted urine, but I can imagine)

In other news, the Fark personals girl is smirking at your stupid comment.

Among the proud and statuesque race of warrior pastoralists, cattle disputes are commonplace

(cough) Canada/US mad cow dispute (cough)

Oh, I did, however, once drink some chewing tobacco spit on accident. And I once drank a whole cup of vegetable oil on a dare. Man, that was a farking bad decision. Don't ever do that.

Can anybody say ?

Meh..who hasn't had a swig or three.

Im now taking bets- Will he die of:
A) West Nile
B) Dysentary
C) AIDS
D) Being a dumbass schmuck

$5 a play-in.

Submitter is full of crap, and Rusty Shakleford is having a bit of fun..
This guy's British, living in a British town near Bristol.

Pendrill BBQ this weekend, bring a dish to pass.

get in touch with "that" side.

So I guess happiness is a red toga, a mud hut and all the cow pee you can handle.

I know someone that lost a bet and had to drink a shot of pee. Now, 5 years later, he has a full scholarship for college because his ability to play basketball.

Coincidence?

no, happiness is a warm gun. watch out for the masai; they're the next group pat robertson's gonna be callin' for the heads of...

No mention of the ceremonial penis gourd?

For shame!

c'mon, no mention of getting to pick several nubile wives?

Money isn't everything. I have given up everything several times, made it back, and did it again. It's not something I planned, just woke up one day, and said to myself "Let's dump all this stuff and go live in a Tipi, or under a tarp, or spend time in the Arctic wilderness."

I find it refreshes the spirit.

Sometimes, the things you own end up owning you. Besides, you can't take it with you.

2005-08-24 01:47:27 AM cydcharisse


Submitter is full of crap, and Rusty Shakleford is having a bit of fun..
This guy's British, living in a British town near Bristol.

Perhaps the gentleman dealt in German antiques.

Also, Betenoreus, that was the most beautifully played comment I've ever seen on Fark.

Eh, as long as he's happy. We're all searching for contentment. If I knew for certain that I could find it swigging bull urine in a mud hut, you'd never hear from me again.


/assuming the Masai have no wifi
//hopes he finds what he's looking for, but cynical

\rereads

Oh, and by "he" I meant the German antiques dealer.

Eidolon: Exactly. The Masai have no waifai (sorry), but how could they not have contentment? Ever notice how when you're camping, you're automatically content to sit there and watch the fire, even if the smoke might blow in your face sometimes? Contentment means "no stress, no worries." That is basically the national anthem of New Zealand, but anybody can have it if they would just relax and meditate a little. Since NZ is the only truly "foreign" country I've been to (Israel and Australia are the only others, and trust me, Tel Aviv isn't at all foreign after you've been to Jerusalem, and almost everybody speaks enough English to get in and out of trouble), I can say for sure that, while not all that well-traveled, I have discovered the mecca of 'lax. Kiwis have no problems whatsoever jumping off of their beautiful, gigantic cliffs with nothing but a kite on their backs. Wanou, indeed.

You guys should go read Terence McKenna. That man will tell you how to find contentment without clinging to civilization and its trappings. You don't need top-dollar clothes or top-dollar cars to enjoy and fully live life. He is the new "turn on, tune in, drop out" man. If you're the guy who says "yeah, that's for the other guys," then you're the guy who needs it most. Everything has a balance, but you cannot live a 'high-powered' lifestyle without desire and ultimately guilt, stress, worry and suffering. That's not very Buddhist, and anything that isn't Buddhist isn't healthy. Remember, we still revere Buddha, even though he was obese and had problems all the time.

You don't have to do psychedelic drugs to understand what the man is saying (getting past his voice is a little tough, but whatever. Read his books if you don't like it), but you will always hear what the man is saying.

Uh. By "getting past his voice," I meant McKenna. See, he really had a very "geeky" voice. I haven't heard Buddha's voice. That would be stupid, because he wouldn't say anything to me.

abdul: getting past his voice is a little tough, but whatever.

I don't think anyone who would stress out about someone's nasaley voice could get much from his message anyway.

Reading this story really hit a nerve with me. It's as if I'd looked into a mirror. An almost identical thing happened to me once in Alabama. I drank their ceremonial drink that almost made me go blind and I settled a pig dispute. I ended up having some more of the ceremonial drinks and then banging the pig, who happened to be the sister/momma of one of the elders. I sometimes will put on the ceremonial garb of denim/denim with a denim cap (Cat logo) when I go into local bars but I can't see ever actually moving there.

/good times

You are not your farkin khakis.

Abdul

That's not very Buddhist, and anything that isn't Buddhist isn't healthy. Remember, we still revere Buddha, even though he was obese and had problems all the time.

While Shakyamuni Buddha had many problems during his many years of teaching he was hardly obese.

The 'fat Buddha' everyone thinks the historical Buddha is cause he's in all the Chinese restaurants is Ho Tei.

/pet peeve

He's probably just scouting for Peterman. Hope he hasn't had any poppyseed bread recently.

bigstoopidbruce
You beat me to the reference by 10 minutes. My only choice is to go another step.

"I was feeling jaunty in my genuine Masai headdress as Guboja (translated Lioness Rain) met me at the campfire with my morning coffee made from Kenyan coffee beans and smoked antelope droppings. I adjusted my giraffe-skin hunting skirt with hemp belt and gazed into the new day."

Is he related to




this guy?

I think I'll move to Deutschland and swing some good beer while living in a 12 room mansion. The moron can go and live in a hut if he chooses.

What makes him think the Masai want him there w/ them?

Remember, folks, if you are non-european and have a violent culture with history of aggression to just about all your neighbors, you are "proud and statuesque." But if you're white and do the same, you're just a jerk.

"drank bulls urine"
hahah, they always get the white folks with that one.

/i'm one of you

Of course he would want to go live with the Masai they are one the "advanced" cultures.. right? thats what we have all been told, that we should all emulate the mud hut dwelling, cow dung burning, bull urin drinking, fly flickin, dying young, low birth survival, bead wearin, moon worshiping, non evil white "peoples" of the earth. I mean its good for the enviroment right? screw that I want a pizza and a beer. When I'm done with the earth the meek can have it, ill take the stars.

Been there, done that. Recommend it, but not full time.

I don't recall any pee drinking, but they do drink cow's blood (sometimes mixed with milk). They tie a rope around the cow's neck, make a small slice in the jugular & drain some blood. They bandage it up with some mud & the cow goes on its way. The blood is salty, the milk-blood mix is ok, but it's a bit wierd to stop & think that you're drinking blood.

They also make some pretty good beer from honey. When I was there, they dug up honey from "ground bees", which they then let ferment.

Roasted a goat as well. Good eating, but someone put the head on the fire, which was a bit creepy.

The only drawback was the flies - thousands of them. Waking up with a goat peeing near my head wasn't cool either.

justanotherfarkinfarker:

"drank bulls urine"
hahah, they always get the white folks with that one.

Yeah, no shiat. It's "too bad" the first 450 anthropologists couldn't correctly translate "we will drink bull's urine" as "we shall go snipe hunting."

/still chortling

Not Available

I was JUST reading a huge coffee-table book about just that. The blood and milk drinking is okay, the mead sounds great. The clitoridectomies for women, not so much.

FarkmeBlind

I don't recall if the Masai did that or not (tribes up in Sudan definitely did it - sometimes with things like a fragment of a broken coke bottle), but the Masai perform circumcisions on young boys (12-14, if I recall correctly). And they don't use any anesthesia. They did one on a trip some of my buddies went on (I wasn't there for it), and apparently the kid didn't even wince. Supposed to be a sign of manhood.

I know that I would pass out just watching.

Not Available: I don't recall if the Masai did that or not

Yes, many if not most of them did/do. It reminds me of "Roots" where if you made any sound, they basically kicked you out and disowned even your memory. Sounds like party-switching, now that I think about it ;->

It sounds cruel, but there are people who speculate that one of the things wrong with our culture is that we've watered down all our rites of passage until they're essentially worthless. I would like to re-strengthen (or implement) educational rites of passage (no more "graduating" from every damned grade), and decrease the incidences of amateur surgery with non-sterile, improvised implements, under septic conditions and lacking anesthesia.

But that's just me.

I feelya on the "passing out". I've done minor surgery, so I think I'd be okay, but I would not Google "mohel tools" were I you. (Can't remember the actual name of the implement, but it's creepy-lookin')

Lukelighting:

Thanks for posting about the double standard against Europeans with "violent culture and history of aggression"! I soooo agree with you about all that unfair bias in today's society! Violent and aggressive Europeans are most unhappy! Won't someone think of the children!

oops, not "mohel", "moyel"

Ralex and Lukelightning the Whaaambulance has been called. Try to lie still (heh) until it arrives.

That's probably the coolest thing that a german has ever done.