Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Local6)   Spanky the Squirrel attacks police officers trying to arrest his owner   ( divider line
    More: Scary  
•       •       •

10391 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Aug 2005 at 5:37 PM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

65 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

2005-08-19 08:41:42 PM  
This would make an excellent Foamy episode:

Germaine Gets Busted

"Hey what you doing what is that? Ahh thats one of those guns with the bullets and everything where you shoot the people and they go boom are you.. are you gonna blow Germaine's head off is this what this is?..."
2005-08-19 08:41:54 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2005-08-19 08:57:19 PM  
Baffling number of squirrel testicles?
2005-08-19 09:38:36 PM  
Unavailable for comment

[image from too old to be available]
2005-08-19 10:01:39 PM  
dam@ maritimegirl you just descibed me to t -guess you can't take that salty talk, no pun on your name intended

/I think with the way things are in the work environment(sexual harassement lawsuits) everybody just has a lot of pent up frustrations
2005-08-19 10:34:46 PM  
sorry, missed the foamy thing
2005-08-19 10:38:27 PM  
more foamy
Next topic; drunk people! You know, the type of asshole who always has to get shiatfaced on the weekend and go staggering around, patting you on the back like you're his best friend, when all you really want him to do is get in his car and drive home recklessly. I'm sick and tired of some incoherent asshole who smells like a case of malt liquor all of a sudden talking about the philosophy of life while trying to pick up some woman at a bar. Nice. And what's worse, those farking dolts who go around and actually tell you how farked up they got the night before; like they deserve some type of award for falling face first into a patch of tomatoes in your backyard at four AM in the morning. And don't forget, (in mocking voice) "friends don't let friends drive drunk." Screw that! As far as I'm concerned, give 'em the keys rev up the engine, and let 'em go sailing home with a bottle of taquila in their lap. One of three things will happen. 1: The cops will pull them over and end up having to beat the shiat out of them, just because this farker is in a drunken rage and refuses to turn off Neil Diamond's "They're Coming to America". Number 2: They'll wrap themselves around a telephone pole and either be killed or paralyzed. Cruel, you say? Well, so is inflicting your drunken stupidity on the rest of the world, so be ready to pay the consequences. Asshole. Scenario number 3, my least favorite: They make it home okay and pass out on the lawn with their motor running, while the radio is blasting some dumbass metal song from the mid-80's that no one wants to hear anymore. But at least it gives 'em a chance to try again next week.

So if you're a drunken moron or an idiot who has to manipulate legitimate conversations to get a cheap thrill for your libido, please feel free to get together with one another on the weekends, drive around drunk, make all the twisted sexual comments you like. And I'll just watch from the local diner window as they scrape your body off the pavement with a farking spatula. Get out of our farking lives, your moronic assholes. Your existence is useless, and you're dragging down the collective intelligence of humanity. (mocking voice) Don't like what I have to say? (/mocking voice) Here's the keys and a bottle of Crack Daniels. I'll see you tomorrow. But hopefully not.

You will all feel the wrath of my nuts! I SWEAR!
2005-08-19 11:55:13 PM  
I think squirrels are cute.

When I was living in Ferndale, MI, there was this neighborhood squirrel we called Nutsy. Nutsy was almost tame...I'd actually petted him and had him on my lap, and so had my dad. He'd climb up there to get nuts.

There was another neighbor who donated to Nutsy's nut fund, and one day said neighbor heard a knock on their door. She opened it, and Nutsy went right in and started searching for the nuts! She had to carefully chase him out!

Now I miss Nutsy. He was like the neighborhood pet.
2005-08-20 01:11:09 AM  
Am just thinking that we all need Rocky J. Squirrel body guards. (Moose is extra).
2005-08-20 01:18:03 AM  

Gonads and strife

Bravo to you sir for the Threebrain reference!
2005-08-20 01:33:10 AM  


i RTFA. arresting someone for a drug "crime" is governmental harassment in my book. thugs with badges.
2005-08-20 02:54:12 AM  
No Gieko squirrel reference?
2005-08-20 04:16:13 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2005-08-20 10:05:19 AM  

Best song ever! at least if you want to laugh uncontrollably.
2005-08-20 12:41:20 PM  
I rescued a baby squirrel from a cat once after it had killed it's family. My lady and I raised it for about 6 months and at first it was real timid and shy then he got real preotective of us and whenever we would bring people over we would put him in his cage otherwise he would attack anyone... He flew 7 ft at my brothers face once. I managed to catch him in mid-air before he killed my brother... but managed to dig his teeth completely through my finger... Had to go to the hospital. Before we re-released him into the wild I would always leave my door unlocked and feel sorry for any burgular who tried to rob my place... Attack squirrels RULE!
Displayed 15 of 65 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.