Him: "Ha! Ha! I'm touching a woman!!1!"
Her: "Ha! Ha! He doesn't know I used to be a man!!1!"

Her: SFIA. That hole I cut in my jeans sure gives easy access.
Him: I wish she'd learn to wipe properly.

her: Take that, stupid Wolverine ex-boyfriend!

Her: How hard do I have to hit this jerk to let me go?
Him: Where's the beer?

Her: Hehe, this boy's cute.
Him: C'mon, stay down, stay down, don't scare her away just yet....

Her: Will this picture make me look fat?
Him: Beer!

Her: OMG I think that last shot of tequila is gonna make me hurl!
Him: Hehe, I hope she's so drunk she thinks I look good.

Her: Time to pose for a picture!
Him: If I casually brush up against this girl while she's distracted, I can rub my crotch on her ass and pretend it was an accident. That's fap material for a whole week!

Him: uh-huh
Her: That tickles!!!

Him: I will pet her and love her and squeeze her and call her George! Yup! Huh-huh...Can I pet da little rabbits next? Can I, George??

Him: "Yeah dude, I'm like totally doin' it"

Her: "No silly, the penis goes in the vagina"

HIM: "Ah'd like y'all to meet my wife and sister..."

her: mooooooooon river.... thanks doc.

BRAP wins.

Here is my attempt:

Him: I'm gonna give her my freshman 15"
Her: This flaccid cocksucker needs an addadicktome

Man, being the pitcher is sooooo boring. I get to be in front next time, right honey?

Him: I'm totally erect!
Her: I'm totally wrecked, too!

Him- "i wonder if she's into teh buttsex?"
Her- "i said, 'I'M SOOO DRUNK' heh"
Him- "i'll take that as a yes!"

her: oh yeah, that burns, i love it... does that feel good rubbing up against you, baby? does it?

him: yeah... uh is that your little brother over there? i'm uh... gonna go over there and see if he wants to get in the hot tub, or maybe needs me to oil him up...

her: ok, but dont put a hot pepper up his butt, too.

Him: Let's see... MSU shirt... check. MSU Undershirt... check. MSU Hat... check. MSU Key chain... check. MSU game on TV... check. I guess I could let her have a little slice of me at halftime.

Her: Let's see... penis... um... penis... penis... omg I still don't feel anything... I am SO not doing MSU guys from now on. Someone get me a beer and drive me to Ann Arbor!

She: Nothing.

He: Nothing.

"What do you call yourselves?"

"The Aristocrats."

Her: (thinking) Look at me, look at me, pay attention to me. Try to grope me so I'll feel pretty.
Him: (thinking) Get your ass off of me camera whore.

Her:"What is this thing called "Pulling a train"?"
Him:"You'll find out when the rest of the guys get here."Yo!Dudes! We got us a live one!"

Her: You're... ummm... kind of... small. *giggle*
Him: Huh? Sure, I'll take you to the mall in the morning...

Him: "Come here you little minx, huh-huh!"
Her: "HA! Stupid frat boy... yet another job for the dentata. Then, the Sharpie!"

/obscure?
//wtf is up with the corner of her shirt?

Him: Craigslist is the shiat, I can't believe I picked up this filthy crack whore on there.

Her: Did you put something in my drink, I..........snore.

Him: "And for my next trick, I'm going to pull a VW rabbit out of her ass"

Her: This guy is so cute, I'll bet he wants to date me!

Him: I can't believe I got stuck playing wingman again. You owe me, Josh.

HIM (insert Fark cliche here)

HER what a dork!

HER: Someone gimme a mirror. My eyes glow red if the nearest dick is less than 5 inches in length.

HER: "I'm glad he's my friend and I can have such fun with him."
HIM: "How am I going to get her out of these pants?"

Him: "F*ck Motha Motha, F*ck Motha Motha..."

Her: "Shmokin Weed, Doin Coke"

Her: Dad! Billy is trying to put his thingie in my butt again!
Him: Aw c'mon Paw, you said it was my turn tonight!

Her: I dont care how much you tickle it, we're cousins

Him: Mommah said having no chin was a sign of good breedin'.

Him: Say hellooooo to my little Spartan!

Her: LOL little is right! Keep your spurtin' Spartan to yourself! You don't even have a Trojan you Cornhusker! And besides, I'm on the Crimson Tide.

Him: I hope my girlfriend doesn't find out.
Her: I hope my girfriend doesn't find out.

Him: No really, I could have gone to Michigan, but I really felt State was a better school.
Her: Two more weeks till I'm back in Ann Arbor.

In Unison:
"We can't believe it's Christmas, our favorite time of the year!
We Can't believe it's Christmas, we're wrapping up a sugarplum thing...
We can't believe it's Christmas, Oh boy! it's finally here!
We can't believe it's Christmas, Our favorite time of the year!"