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(   Not done humiliating herself, Ashlee Simpson wants another shot at doing Saturday Night Live   ( ) divider line 195
    More: Asinine  
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15871 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Aug 2005 at 3:48 AM (10 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

195 Comments   (+0 »)

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2005-08-16 05:39:03 AM  
She's a talentless hack riding on the coat tails of her equally talentless (but hittable) sister.
2005-08-16 05:43:40 AM  
Okay, I just gotta say that the whole Ashlee Simpson fiasco was the FUNNIEST thing I have seen on SNL for years.

Oh wait... that wasn't a skit?
2005-08-16 05:45:44 AM  
believe the majority of the skits had them playing THEMSELVES, the little self-infatuated attention whores they are, and they couldn't even do THAT convincingly:

It's our fault they're so popular, not them. A) They started out pushed into it by their parents. Then society took over. Soon girls wanted to be them, buying their "we're cute 10 year old) videos about overnights and pajama parties and something about being in New York. Guys wanted to do them and put up sites all over the place with a count down untill they turned 18.

Seriously, that would fu(k up any person. Next they're in the spotlight for being the two most wealthy teen girls in america BY THEIR OWN HANDS.

At least they earned it and their lives, where tainted, are so because of a lot of hard work and a society that demanded it of them. I feel bad for them in a way, but not too bad. I'd imagine having a multi-hundred-million dollar bank account comforts them a little.

Now as for Ashley Simpson, a girl who was put into the light because her sister was popular, has no talent, and can't dance her way out of a paper bag (read: botched lip synching fiasco on live tv)... that's disturbing too, because it's consumer america that causes it. I'd like to think that years ago there was more talent than pop artists... but I don't know.

The more things change, as the saying goes.

The real problem isn't that she's going back on SNL... the problem is someone over there thought it would be a good idea. And it's clear why: "That went so terribly and people hate her and us so much for the incident that they'd HAVE to watch her come back onstage! Genious!"

It's all about ratings, not quality. There's defenately a market for morbidly bad telivision these days. People watch because it's terrible and copy cat shows spawn up hoping to get a little of the same success by association.

I for one hate the "reality tv" movement. It's all bullocks.

Ashlee: Get a real job.
2005-08-16 05:48:32 AM  
"At least they earned it and their lives, where tainted, are so because of a lot of hard work and a society that demanded it of them"

And by contrast I present Paris Hilton.
2005-08-16 05:53:26 AM  
I'd like to pee on this girl from a few stories up.
2005-08-16 05:54:39 AM  
cargrrl82 said:
Wha? Just going to tease us like that and share just how you think they're mentally perverted/deranged? What fun is that?

Uh, the father makes a point of constantly commenting on Jessica's, um, assets. And I don't mean money, brains, or talent, though the latter two obviously go without saying.

And it's not just the fact that he does it, it's more the WAY he does it. A lot of times he sounds like some jock bragging to all his buddies oon the football team about what the hot cheerleader he's banging looks like naked. It's creepy.

Add to that the fact that he's apparently been raising both of them since birth for show business, and given how those sorts of situations often are, then, uh, there's the context for my comment, anyway.
2005-08-16 06:19:40 AM

the job is never done.
2005-08-16 06:23:01 AM  
The record label should have dropped her farking ages ago and brought on someone who deserves it in that slot.

She has no talent, very few people are actually gonna buy their albums especiall after the SNL thing, (didnt she also get booed at the Superbowl?). No publicity blitz is gonna change that you farking marketing wizard genuises, you could at least bring on someone that looks hotter even if they dont have talent.
2005-08-16 06:25:57 AM  
I believe it was the Orange Bowl, actually. Regardless, the difference is astoundingly small.
2005-08-16 06:28:16 AM  
Ashlee who?
2005-08-16 06:31:22 AM  
Deep Hurting

You've noticed that too eh? It's definitely warped how he is in regards to his two daughters.
2005-08-16 06:34:48 AM  
Long live Kids in the Hall!

/I'm crushing your head!
2005-08-16 06:35:20 AM  
Based on what - talent? I don't think so.

/ Did not RTFA
// Haven't watched SNL in - let's see over ten years!!!
/// Oh well, she'll prolly get it as a freak. Just another
2005-08-16 06:35:25 AM  
2005-08-16 06:56:32 AM  
I was just thinking to myself this past weekend how it's been so nice not hearing anything about this talentless hack in a while. I thought her 15 minutes were up. This news is most saddening. Well, I suppose the release of her new album is even more saddening.

Fade into obscurity, biatch!
2005-08-16 06:59:19 AM  
her buttchin went away
2005-08-16 07:05:42 AM  
In more important News:

"American Idol judge Paula Abdul has been probed and cleared ..."

/would probe Paula; zero probe Ashlee
2005-08-16 07:10:13 AM  
i'd like to go behind her scenes if you know what i mean...

/snl ain't funny anymo'
//biatch can't sing ps.
///i need to go back to bed...
/V xarlos = winz for creative slash use
2005-08-16 07:14:07 AM  
Feh, NBC shows OLD SNL's from when they had GOOD musical guests on at 3am, so let her be on again, and I'll stick with the eps when they had people like Captain Beefheart, Leon Redbone, Loudon Wainwright III & ABBA (same episode!), Sun Ra, etc.

And reair the damn Fred Willard/DEVO episode already...
2005-08-16 07:21:14 AM  
SNL back in the day was like Rolling Stone back in the day. It was a place that showcased musically/sometimes culturally relevant artists... now its justa place to sell the latest two-bit hack who didn't deserve the recording contract they have and is more about marketing and pandering to the demographic than any discernable talent. Anytime either have an article/performance on a serious or relevant artist anymore is purely coincidence.
2005-08-16 07:23:56 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

So what, she's got not talent. She still is hot & I'd hit it.
2005-08-16 07:24:47 AM  
Deep Hurting

"And it's not just the fact that he does it, it's more the WAY he does it. A lot of times he sounds like some jock bragging to all his buddies oon the football team about what the hot cheerleader he's banging looks like naked. It's creepy."

yeah...that is gross. still, i'm just waiting for the day when they find one of them giving daddy a blowjob so that it finally screws their careers and daddy dearest gets a one-way to anal-plunder state pen.

/do i get a "ticket" for that now??
//i really hate celebrities these days.
2005-08-16 07:24:47 AM  
I have a shot at doing her, you betcha. But I want her with black hair and lots of eyeliner -- not the blonde version.
2005-08-16 07:43:37 AM  
EdgeRunner: "(And fiddlin'. Can't dance a proper hoedown without lots 'n lots 'o fiddlin'.)"

...I don't remember her falling down. Ba dum dum!
2005-08-16 07:49:07 AM  
If I was in charge of SNL I'd have her back.

The opening:
The soundtrack of her monologue on a 2/3 second delay.

Musical guest: N Sync.
2005-08-16 07:49:12 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

"Can I have another shot at SNL too?"
2005-08-16 07:59:24 AM  
Someone needs to lay off the brushing and blurring oprah's face:

[image from too old to be available]
2005-08-16 07:59:58 AM  
I would SO hit it.

A little chubbier than Jessica, a little less talented than... everybody. She'd be so eager to please. She'd definitely go downtown.
2005-08-16 08:00:30 AM  
Not done humiliating herself..

she'll keep that record in tact with sure to win multiple academy awards "Undiscovered". hitting a theater near you later this month
2005-08-16 08:03:04 AM  
"I've obviously fallen on my face before in front of a bunch of people, but I've learned it's a beautiful thing . . ."

So totally clueless it's pathetic.
2005-08-16 08:03:12 AM  
who knows, maybe she will rock it, and usher in a new age of live rock and roll..

i see no reason to be pessimistic or negative or critical of someone wishing to improve their art. there are as many good reasons to let her get up there and hit it again, this time with feeling, as there are reasons to deny her the chance.

/given the chance, i'd hit it twice, the second time with feeling..
2005-08-16 08:22:20 AM  

I don't think he would go to jail for getting a blow job from one of them. They are all of consentual age.
2005-08-16 08:33:59 AM  
Fourdoorlovemonkey: I tried as hard as I could, I really did. Yet I failed to find anything I care less about.

So, naturally, you posted online about it.
2005-08-16 08:41:21 AM  
Returning to SNL would be a mistake. If she goes on SNL again and lip-syncs as usual but there are no technical screw-ups this time, it will be just another boring sucky SNL. Now, she is has instant name recognition. Just go have a few brews at your local pub and you always hear "Jessica Simpson" followed by lots of yucks from the bleary-eyed pork-rind crew. And, her previous SNL gig hasn't hurt her popularity with her target audience: teenagers who download their tunes for free from LimeWire.

JS should heed the old advice to children, "Be seen and not heard."
2005-08-16 08:43:10 AM  
My favorite in the first appearance was the smug look of satisfaction on the faces of her backup band. You know the only on stage that qualified as musicians. Probably took the gig to support themselves as they try to do original music.
2005-08-16 08:44:02 AM  
Behind every annoying pop tart, there's a parent who needs a beating.
2005-08-16 08:44:51 AM  
"I just read about Ashlee in us weekly. I think she deserves a second chance. Those guys at FARK are total jerks."

-- mandyc19
2005-08-16 08:44:53 AM  
SNL hasn't been good in at least 10 or 15 years. There is a serious lack of comedic talent these days. I blame it on reality (shiat) TV.
2005-08-16 08:45:33 AM  
TheWrongTrousers: Just because you come from a famous family doesn't mean that you get that many chances...or does it?

Ashlee's related to Homer?
2005-08-16 08:49:38 AM  
Wow - it's so nice to see somebody learn to overcome adversity and triumph.

She is about as deep as a petrie dish and I'm still wondering why the hell I should care


// I don't

//Ashlee you ignorant slut
2005-08-16 08:57:05 AM  
She makes me wanna screaaaaaaaaaaaaaam!
2005-08-16 09:04:07 AM  
Hmmm. Time for another live TV wardrobe malfunction. We've already seen a talent malfunction.

/Give up and go into porn, Ashlee
2005-08-16 09:04:14 AM  
Why hasn't anyone dimebagged this little biatch yet?
2005-08-16 09:04:22 AM  
I bet Ashlee Simpson's Dad is like Homer when he was Lisa's manager.

2005-08-16 09:06:07 AM  
evh: Remember when they had actual musicians on that show?

Not really. They've had lip syncers on since the show started.
2005-08-16 09:08:11 AM  
My favorite musical guests from SNL past:

and of course THE BLUES BROTHERS
2005-08-16 09:08:12 AM  
(Please delete my previous post)

If I was in charge of SNL I'd have her back.

The opening:
The video of her monologue on a 2/3 second delay.

When one of the regulars interrupts her, he's live, but Ashley is still 2/3 second late. (Split screen)

He has fun with it. He hands her a balloon and a pin, just like he has.
He jabs the balloon with a pin and it pops.
She is about to jab her balloon but we hear the pop.

Musical guest: N Sync.
2005-08-16 09:08:58 AM  
2005-08-16 09:15:44 AM  
ingvar writes
i see no reason to be pessimistic or negative or critical of someone wishing to improve their art.

That's ffrigging hilarious. Ashley Simpson improve her art? She's all marketing hype. There is no art to Ashley Simpson. She is a lip syncing fraud, served up for mass consumption by cynical record company suits in an attempt to get the sheeple's money. What is her art? Her infamous half-time performance of the touching sado-masochistic ballad "LaLaLa" the one that had her dry humping the stadium air? Or maybe her art is the retarded hoe-down she danced when she was exposed on the first trip through SNL? Nope. No art there.

The criticism and negative and comments are not just snide remarks about another aspiring "artist." Ashley Simpson richly deserves all the negative remarks.
2005-08-16 09:19:20 AM  
jayessell: Musical guest: N Sync.

Agree with your entire list except this -- it ought to be Milli Vanilli, synching to the tunes she "sang" in her last appearance.
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