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(Webindia)   The latest theory is that the dinosaurs were killed off by multiple competing scientific theories   (news.webindia123.com) divider line 205
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9259 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Aug 2005 at 3:15 PM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2005-08-11 05:23:40 AM  
God killed them to make oil for us.
 
2005-08-11 05:28:10 AM  
I killed the dinosaurs

all of them

with my teeth

like a real man.
 
2005-08-11 07:07:53 AM  
DesertOtter: I killed the dinosaurs
all of them
with my teeth
like a real man.


Oh yeah? Well, I'M so manly that I do that too, WHILE IMPREGNATING MY GIRLFRIEND.
 
2005-08-11 08:28:50 AM  
Everybody knows that Satan put those fossils around the world. It's the most logical explanation.
 
2005-08-11 08:34:08 AM  
I like Jon Stewart's take:

"It had been hundreds or thousands of years since man first made his presence felt on planet Earth (Or six thousand years, if you prefer to ignore all aspects of rational scientific discovery)."
 
2005-08-11 08:49:47 AM  
Seems like an easy link: An asteroid smashes the Yucatan and the result is a massive increase in vulcanism globally opening up caldera like this all over. This is on the other side of the globe from the Yucatan, sort of.
 
2005-08-11 09:07:54 AM  
The Flying Spaghetti Monster touched the dinosaurs with his starchy, noodle-y presence, they became loaded up on carbs, got heart disease from obesity, and died.

QED
 
2005-08-11 09:32:38 AM  
Cthulhu finished off the dinosaurs, then went back to sleep in R'lyeh, where he waits dreaming.

[image from upload.wikimedia.org too old to be available]
 
2005-08-11 09:58:24 AM  
I thought it was smoking that killed them?

/remembering Gary Larson..
 
2005-08-11 10:01:39 AM  
Fools!! The dinosaurs couldnt adapt to the post-flood world and simply died off.
 
2005-08-11 10:50:52 AM  
It was global warming. I have it on good authority...my pet dragon Pete told me.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2005-08-11 10:55:13 AM  
The dinosaurs were killed by the crowd of time travelers going back to see what killed the dinosaurs.
 
2005-08-11 11:08:16 AM  
In the far future, we all evolve into dinosaurs. It is only then that we will be smart to unlock the secrets of time travel. At that point, "undesirable" dinosaurs (Mexicans) are sent back in time hundreds of millions of years to die. Once all the Mexicans have been exterminated, our future selves will cease this practice.

From our current perspective on the fossil record, it appears that dinosaurs have gone extinct, when in reality they do not exist yet. All we know is that someday, in the far future, there will be no more Mexicans.
 
2005-08-11 02:26:41 PM  
No No No. Homer Simpson went back in time using a machine he created out of a toaster and vacuum tubes. There he sneezed and killed all the beasts.
\Time to take it for a test toast.
\\I'll bash you good
 
2005-08-11 03:20:50 PM  
I have a theory about what killed the dinosaurs, and I'll tell you about it after I finish eating my spaghetti.

/noodley appendage
 
2005-08-11 03:21:42 PM  
i think they were on steroids. i mean, come on, LOOK at them
 
2005-08-11 03:22:21 PM  
Apparently God was just screwing around for a few million years until he got around to creating us. In scientific terms, that would be Saturday, roughly brunch time. By the time Sunday came around he was pooped for apparently a few hundred billion years.
 
2005-08-11 03:22:35 PM  
I believe that the Electric Universe people would argue against this one. We all know that a giant electrical arc zapped our Earth and created a big stir fry.
 
2005-08-11 03:24:36 PM  
Researchers said that a joint study conducted with Indian geologists have revealed the existence of a 600-meter (2000-foot) thick portion of the lava that may have piled up in as little as 30,000 years...


Fundamentalists must hate reading these articles.

"In as little as 30,000 years..." Heh. For a planet that's only 10,000 years old?
 
2005-08-11 03:25:01 PM  
They all stuck their heads out the bus windows just when it went into a tunnel!
 
2005-08-11 03:25:19 PM  
Schools should teach the competing theory that there weren't any dinosaurs.
 
2005-08-11 03:25:20 PM  
[image from intronfilms.com too old to be available]
 
2005-08-11 03:26:05 PM  
Dinosaurs aren't mentioned in the Bible.
 
2005-08-11 03:26:09 PM  
Mugato: Yeah, I mean really; Have you actually read the Old Testament? That ol YHWH loved just messing around. It's such a kidder. I bet it made Jerry Farwell for our amusement.
 
2005-08-11 03:26:34 PM  
um... everyone knows that nothing killed off the dinosaurs because they never existed, god put these fake bones in the ground to test our faith in the intellegent design that the churchs made up recently, duh
 
2005-08-11 03:26:34 PM  
What caused the dinosaurs' extinction 65 million years ago?

1) some volcanos

2) A METEOR IMPACT THAT CREATED A 120-MILE WIDE, 1 MILE DEEP, 65 MILLION YEAR OLD CRATER UNDER THE GULF OF MEXICO.
 
2005-08-11 03:28:15 PM  
they pissed off the spaghetti monster, sure he seems all generous and benevolent on his starchy surface... but you wouldn't like him when he's mad
 
2005-08-11 03:28:44 PM  
Nice mad scientist, However, didn't you all see the Day After Tomorow? They all froze to death because of global warming?
 
2005-08-11 03:29:32 PM  
Bevetses and anti-bevetses what we have here is something that is both a parody of religious textses and particles physicses....
/ssssilly ssilly humans.
 
2005-08-11 03:30:11 PM  
Everyone knows that dinosaur bones were just created to test our faith in the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
 
2005-08-11 03:30:19 PM  
So, volcanoes in India + big-ass asteroid in Yucatan = one ginormous one-two sucker punch. Poor dinos didn't have a chance.

m0llusk
Seems like an easy link: An asteroid smashes the Yucatan and the result is a massive increase in vulcanism globally opening up caldera like this all over. This is on the other side of the globe from the Yucatan, sort of.

That sounds like something that happened on Mercury; a big impact there created a mountain ridge on the exact opposite side of the planet (from all the seismic waves converging there).
 
2005-08-11 03:30:50 PM  
Muta: Dinosaurs aren't mentioned in the Bible.


They must be giant chicken bones from the Garden of Eden...

Ain't no thing, but a chicken wing.

\I'm spent.
\\Someone should post the PBF cartoon "summon the metors"
 
2005-08-11 03:30:52 PM  
You're all wrong.

They all died from a lack of lysine in their diets. Didn't any of you see "Jurassic Park" ?

GOSH !!
 
2005-08-11 03:31:14 PM  
I bet it was this guy:

[image from jabootu.com too old to be available]
Maston Thrust
 
2005-08-11 03:31:33 PM  
Johnny Golgotha:

What caused the dinosaurs' extinction 65 million years ago?



1) A METEOR IMPACT THAT CREATED A 120-MILE WIDE, 1 MILE DEEP, 65 MILLION YEAR OLD CRATER UNDER THE GULF OF MEXICO.

2) causing some volcanos to errupt worldwide from the energy of the impact

3) Dinosaurs are killed from the primary and secondary effects of the impact.



Fixed the post to make it a working theory that fits all the evidence. Isn't science grand?
 
2005-08-11 03:32:35 PM  
I think I did it. I went back in time, some dude named Echols was already there. So I went back further, when I was going home I accidently stepped on a worm. Now Bush is president. My bad.
 
2005-08-11 03:32:57 PM  
If god flooded the world killing these dinosaurs. And Noah and the animals were the only ones spared. Why is it after they landed his kids were able to run off and have sex with other people?
 
2005-08-11 03:33:23 PM  
I have a theory on dinosaurs....Oh what is my theory, that it is. Yes, well you may well ask, what is my theory.

Well, this theory that I have--that is to say, which is mine--...is mine.

My theory that I have follows the lines I am about to relate.

(Coughs) Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem.


This theory which belongs to me is as follows. Ahem. Ahem. This is how it goes. Ahem. The next thing that I am about to say is my theory.

Ahem. Ready?
 
2005-08-11 03:34:47 PM  
Actually, the dinosaurs developed a society not unlike our own, and then died of embarrassment. Then god hid all their technology so we wouldn't be all discouraged and bummed out.

Simple, really.
 
2005-08-11 03:34:52 PM  
Xenu stacked them all up in a Volcano and then blasted them with H-Bombs, creating the lava flow, DUH!

[image from purification.scientology.org too old to be available]
 
2005-08-11 03:35:00 PM  
smeag0l: If god flooded the world killing these dinosaurs. And Noah and the animals were the only ones spared. Why is it after they landed his kids were able to run off and have sex with other people?

well, noah, his wife, his three daughters and their three husbands were on the boat (i think), so his children would be fine, his grandchildren however... um, do you have any hot first cousins?
 
2005-08-11 03:35:17 PM  
They all got bad haircuts...'n moved to Jersey!
 
2005-08-11 03:37:01 PM  
smeag0l:

Why is it after they landed his kids were able to run off and have sex with other people?



His children were married and they were all on the ark.

I guess the dinosaurs didn't make it because Noah couldn't build a big enough ark...
 
2005-08-11 03:37:08 PM  
Please, please don't start a political flamewar in this thread, because I might have to use words and phrases like:

Irannosaurus, Tar Parking Lot, Terradaschle

-you get the picture, and a stupid picture it is
 
2005-08-11 03:37:13 PM  
There's no such thing as dinosaurs because the Bible says so!
 
2005-08-11 03:37:37 PM  
Isn't it common knowledge that the dinos died out when Dick Clark and his tribe hunted them to extinction?
 
2005-08-11 03:39:28 PM  
Dinosaurs died from stigmata.
 
2005-08-11 03:39:32 PM  
What about Intelligent Destruction?
 
2005-08-11 03:39:42 PM  
God put dinosaur bones on earth to trick humans. If we believe in them we will go to Sheol.
 
2005-08-11 03:39:43 PM  
I always thought this was hi-larious
[image from img65.imageshack.us too old to be available]
 
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