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(Yahoo)   One in 25 men may unknowingly be raising another man's child, according to this report from the Department of Things Made up to Get in the Media   ( ) divider line
    More: Unlikely  
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11731 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Aug 2005 at 10:46 PM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

240 Comments     (+0 »)

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2005-08-11 10:54:35 AM  
I don't trust women. I have too many stories about brothers, friends, family members that have been totally screwed over by their wives/girlfriends and the court system actually rewarded the females by giving them the house and child support/alimony for being unfaithful.

Don't say this doesn't happen because you know it to be true.

Search your feelings luke!
2005-08-11 10:58:19 AM  
"What he couldn't give me,
was the one thing you could."

What a really bad song by Heart. Somehow, appropriate.
2005-08-11 11:14:46 AM  
I have a child that I think is not my offspring. But it does not matter. I have raised her for five years and she is my daughter, blood or not.

I'm glad someone out there understands that being a parent is about more than passing on your genes. Your parents are the people who raised you, whether they donated the sperm and egg or not.
2005-08-11 11:14:48 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
There was a program screened here last year that showed the figure was 'as high as one-in-four' over in suburban England. One of our Aussie "current affairs' programs showed that the figure was considerably lower in Australia but I refuse to believe that Americans are a modest 'one-in-tewntyfive'. I really don't see that as accurate when you take into account the simply fact that there are statistically four times more slutty women in such a populous nation.

//just sayin.
//was once married to one such woman.
2005-08-11 11:17:21 AM  
I'm betting the rates get higher and higher the more privacy, mobility, and free time people have.

That means it's time for all Americans to have untamperable video cameras embedded in their crotch, just like police have cameras on their cars.
2005-08-11 11:20:51 AM  
Just so all you ladies know,

If I get married and my wife has somebody elses kid, there will be no divorce. Just a long, drawn out beating followed by a triple homocide.

The Father
The Baby

Yes, I'm a guy. It's not my kid, I have no regrets about killing a baby.
2005-08-11 11:30:09 AM  
i love how this thread might now be used as evidence in a trial.
2005-08-11 11:30:18 AM  

Face it, a man who posts heavily on (or any internet blog) has a low probability of being a "player" in real life. I think odds are in the favor of my assumption.

I'll second the other person who replied to your post and say you never know - at the very least, most "players" are gonna have day jobs, which seems to be from whence most people post on fark (its where I post from 99% of the time anyway).

Oh and for a more on-topic contribution, actually two:

b)paternity test
and perhaps...
c)don't fark crazy broads

/not a player I just fark a lot
//wait, no I don't
////knows c) is a whole lot easier said than done.
2005-08-11 11:34:56 AM  
Haplo33 & Haywood win the thread....

.Jobu needs a refill
..of coffee, have to work tonight :-(
...periods instead of slashies?
2005-08-11 11:35:06 AM  
I've replaced all women in my life with World of WarCraft.
2005-08-11 11:39:24 AM  
We did a lot of genetic population studies at work, and this is VERY common. We werent' looking for that in particular but you still find it.

Example, girl in Italy has a dominant recessive disease. Her mom doesn't have it, her dad doesn't have it. Her uncle does though... well there's only so many ways that can work out.

Happens ALL the time.
2005-08-11 11:42:24 AM  
1 in 25 seems low to me. I'd think it would have to be 1 in 10. Maybe even 1 in 5 if you count men INTENTIONALLY raising another child as their own.
2005-08-11 11:56:35 AM  
MyrnaMinkoff: Newsflash: people screw around.
Newsflash: this is not newsworthy.

Well since no one else has said it:

[image from too old to be available]
2005-08-11 12:00:35 PM  
That's what you get for having the easiest chicks I've ever come across in the world.
2005-08-11 12:05:10 PM  
Get yourself a fake ATM reciept and any woman in southern California is easy.
2005-08-11 12:07:19 PM  
My brother-in-law recently found out his two sons aren't his sons -- in fact, each boy has a different father.
2005-08-11 12:09:16 PM  

-It also seems that you also need to get an education and learn how to spell "moron".


It's moran.
2005-08-11 12:21:52 PM  
Satan_Himself: And where did you get your psych degree?

Church of Scientology. ;)
2005-08-11 12:26:35 PM  

I'm glad someone out there understands that being a parent is about more than passing on your genes. Your parents are the people who raised you, whether they donated the sperm and egg or not.

Amen. You crazy fools who are all getting worked up about stupid shiat. My ex wants her exlover who knocked her up to be the only one in the delivery room with her because he's the father and doesn't like her mom, dad, or step-mom (who is her real mother and really truly raised her). I told her flat out that she was a stupidhead when she called all concerned because her stepmom was real hurt by her telling her stepmom that she couldn't be in the delivery room.

The parents of the child are the people who raise the child, not the sperm/egg donor.
2005-08-11 12:50:25 PM  
re: The parents of the child are the people who raise the child, not the sperm/egg donor.

haha. I doubt a judge would agree with you.
2005-08-11 12:52:15 PM  

People, in general, suck, always have sucked, and always will suck. They are selfish, oppurtunistic, and completely willing to do whatever they can get away with. Therefore, take the proper steps to not let them get away with their suckiness.

That's the only thing you need to know to understand what you are seeing here.

/CYA, it's not just three letters
2005-08-11 12:53:59 PM  
I realize this post is dead-and-gone by now, but--whew!--I am really surprised by the cynicism that there are any good [read: sane] chicks left that DON'T live in a Maury world, nor take advantage of boys, nor want to get pregnant, nor...all of the aforementioneds...

There are still some good ones left--single, attractive, fun, living our own independent lives...Yeesh. Perhaps my girlfriends and I ought to attend a Fark party and demonstrate that..? Criminy...
2005-08-11 01:17:02 PM  
Herder - If, and I doubt it would, such a horrible thing happen to myself...having my house and car given to an unfaithful wife and with garneshed wages....I think I would eventually be convicted of at least two murders.
2005-08-11 01:33:19 PM  
Unique to human females is hidden ovulation. In other words, males have no idea when a female is ovulating. This sets them apart from other female primates who will have a unique scent, or Baboons get a red arse, etc. etc. which signals to the male that the special lady is good to go. Biologically, this encourages monogamy. For the sake of reproduction ... if you're a male, and you have no idea when a female is ovulating, then a random act of sweet, sweet reproduction with a strange female is just a shot in the dark. The best way to ensure that your genes get passed is to team up with a female and have regular intercourse with her and eventually you'll hit it during her special time. However, some biological anthropologists now suggest that the trait was developed so females could keep a dependable male around to help out, but during her ovulation she can go off and reproduce with an alpha male. Where as in our closets cousins like chimps, there is an alpha male with a harem of females, and its a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am situation where he knocks the female up and then she's on her own when it comes to child rearing coontil she's ovulating again).

This is supported by Steven W. Gangestad's controversial study where he found women change preferences for men during around ovultation, prefering more masculine traits, scents and a dominant social status.

Its pretty common in the wild, even among the believed monogamous species. It was long believed that parrots were one of the few monogamous creatures in the wild. Then a group of researchers went back and did DNA testing on the young, and guess what Maurey? Daddy parrot, you are NOT the father!
2005-08-11 02:23:03 PM  
Just adding that this isn't a diatribe against males or female behavour, but rather a comment on how our institutions of marriage and monogamy so poorly reflect our innate instinct. If you're a classic beta male type, you might as well focus your time and energy worrying about how you can be the best beta male you can be.


[image from too old to be available]
Unavailable for comment
2005-08-11 02:42:07 PM  
Several years ago, I read that the government did a study in the 1940's, that showed 10% of all children in the U.S. were not fathered by the wife's husband. This was such a socially shocking revelation, the report was surpressed, and never released.

The same study was done in the 1970's or 80's, and the same results were found. The report was released at that time.
2005-08-11 03:06:16 PM  
Let me make this simple:

Men have one biological imperative: to impregnate as many females as possible.

Women have TWO biological imperatives: to get the best sperm donor possible, and also to get help in raising the brat. It becomes less and less likely that they will be the same two people.

Marriage benefitted men with the "promise" that the kids would be his. It benefitted women with the "promise" that the man would help raise them. Marriage only worked when it was strictly enforced.

Otherwise, a small number of men are for whatever reason, selected by the great majority of women to have sex. The vast majority of men get shafted in this deal, the women just wanting them for their money and labor, not their sperm.

Therefore, the legal solution that takes the place of marriage is, when a child is born, the mother is required to identify the father (currently the law in a group of States); then the father and umbilical cord are DNA tested.

If the child is not his, he can refuse legal responsibility to raise the child--but he must also separate from the female--the law seeing the mother and child as the same. He cannot have his cake and eat it too. This must be done in a limited time after the child's birth. The separation must be complete, he can give nothing to either of them ever again.

He also has the option to accept legal responsibility for the child, even though it isn't his.

This would mean that the female would have to be honest with the male she is with, or else know ahead of time he wants the child, too; or she faces single motherhood with no support from the non-father.

The father would still have no choice but to support a child that is his; still retaining the option to choose fatherhood if the child is not his.

This system would return the legal balance that once existed only in marriage.
2005-08-11 03:38:21 PM  
"Honey, I'm home . . . do I hear the iceman coming?"

"No, darling, not yet. But he is breathing pretty hard."

(I always thought infidelity went out of fashion when the fridge was invented.)
2005-08-11 04:08:19 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

2005-08-11 06:36:12 PM  
So...the Taliban had the right idea all along?
2005-08-11 06:45:01 PM  

So... that explains the extinctions!
2005-08-11 06:50:50 PM  
haha DaShredda that was pretty funny :)
When it comes down to it, if your married and the biatch can't keep her legs shut, at least you can make her mouth swollen enough to stop from sucking all that cock. fark weak-minded women who cheat.
2005-08-11 07:21:22 PM  

**Pick Up**

"Hi honey, this is Daddy, Is Mommy near the phone?"
"No Daddy, She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul "
After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul "
"Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now"

***Brief Pause***

"Uh, okay then, ...this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom
door, and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway"
"Okay Daddy, just a minute"
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.
"I did it Daddy"
"And what happened honey?" he asked
"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming.
Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!"
"O my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul ?"
"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool.
But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it, he hit the bottom of the pool and I think he stopped breathing."

***Long Pause***

***Longer Pause***

Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool?... Is this 486 - 5731?"

/ Someone sent this to me
// Sick but somewhat relevant to topic
2005-08-11 07:23:57 PM  

You know, I think you should follow up on that idea. I'm gonna need an invite, though! :)
2005-08-11 07:27:29 PM  
Anyone remember that SNL with Dabney Coleman as the scout leader?

"Women are no damn good"
2005-08-11 08:14:28 PM  
Unfortunately, even if it's proven you aren't the father you can be forced to pay if you accepted the child (for a sufficient amount of time, I believe), even under false pretenses.

Thankfully, these days in addition to blood tests there's DNA tests. A kid is a HUGE time and money commitment, so "trust but verify".

2005-08-11 09:30:34 PM  
Gawd, reading this thread makes me very thankful that I got a vasectomy several years ago. I think that in the future, I'm simply not going to tell girlfriends about it; in case they get pregnant, I'd love to see the looks on their faces when I suddenly 'remember' that I got a snip job.

What would be really cool is if there was a simple, over-the-counter paternity test. Imagine all the hell that would be raised if every guy in America had his 'kids' tested--there'd be complete havoc in family courts all across the country. And, I'd suspect, a huge spike in homicides.

Kinda funny how this is supposedly a female desire to have the best genes available. Most of the single momsters I've known in the past have a habit of getting impregnated by violent, low-IQ Neanderthals--which might have been an advantage when bashing saber-toothed tigers over the head mattered much. In a technology-driven society, it's a huge disadvantage and part of the reason why there's a large underclass of single momsters with juvenile-delinquent kids of questionable parentage.
2005-08-11 09:50:36 PM  
...and yet some more ranting...

Survival of the fittest?

I have very good health, look about 15 years younger than I am, and have a degree in Rocket Science (took up space in college:). However, I have a mild case of Bipolar Disorder which I didn't want to pass on, so I got sterilized years ago when I got married.

A good friend of mine is very intelligent, handsome, in good health, and is mentally healthy. His wife is also intelligent and in good health, but suffers from depression. They never had kids and he got fixed a few months ago. Another friend of mine is close to 40, smart and well-adjusted, but hasn't fathered any kids.

A woman I've dated in the past and still keep in touch with is in her late 40s and has never had kids--you guessed it, she's intelligent. Heck, a lot of folks in my local Mensa are out of the gene pool voluntarily. Most of the gay people I know are above average in intelligence and health.

On the other hand, somebody I know who is very obese is pregnant on her third kid from a Mexican guy who has one other kid in America and a family back home in Mexico. One of those kids has cystic fibrosis and will probably not live to be 30.

In addition, I've known a few other people who are very, very messed up--meth addiction, alcoholism, incest, you name it--and yet they breed like rats. When I'm in the city, I often see really screwed-up 20 year-old women with three or four kids in tow. I worked for a while processing child-support checks and some of the loser guys would be paying up to six different women (it's funny when a woman receives a grand total of $1.23 from a Wal-Mart check).

In the Good Old Days (TM), smart people felt a social obligation to have lots of kids, but with the advent of birth control and 'alternate lifestyles', intelligent folks are dropping out of the gene pool. Also, in the Good Old Days, screwed up people died young, usually Darwinized by their own stupidity. Nowadays, with medical advances and such, self-destructive meth heads can live long and unhealthy lives and crank out more maladjusted kids than ever before.

I'm not advocating eugenics because that will always be abused. Just commenting on the emergence of the vast social underclass of single momsters that cuts across all racial and ethnic divisions. Probably more destructive to Western Civilization than being over-run by a billion pot-smoking hippie communists...
2005-08-12 03:11:44 AM  
A great book, a topical book to this thread is Bertrand Russell's "Marriage and Morals." I just finished it last week. It was written in 1920 (or so, I can't remember exactly), and I had to constantly remind myself of this, because it feels like it was written in modern times, he was quite advanced for his time.
2005-08-12 03:37:20 AM  

I'm afraid it does. Maybe you should know a woman well enough to know her views on abortion before you fark her.

What farking century do you live in? Wanting to have sex doesn't have anything to do with wanting kids. I want to get laid all the time, but I'll be damned if I want children.
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