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(Detroit News)   Major League pitcher's career turned around when the huge bass he was about to catch was eaten by a seal   ( divider line
    More: Weird  
•       •       •

20950 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Aug 2005 at 1:57 PM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

54 Comments     (+0 »)

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2005-08-08 10:40:39 AM  
Fish or no fish, that man has been a beast on the mound this year.

/Go Tigers
//And Mud Hens
2005-08-08 12:41:10 PM  
was it a delicious bass?
2005-08-08 12:47:57 PM  
And yet, he still pitches for the Tigers.
2005-08-08 02:02:02 PM  
I didn't catch you a delicious bass.

/Tigers rule
2005-08-08 02:02:08 PM  
The Bass-a-matic '76.

Wow. That's good Bass.
2005-08-08 02:02:40 PM  
Borderline record? I mean i KNOW fish weigh more then 11lbs///
2005-08-08 02:03:45 PM  
Did he decide to switch clubs?
2005-08-08 02:03:57 PM  
Give a man a fish, he eats for a day.
Teach a man to fish, he sits in a boat and drinks beer all day.

/Go Yanks!
2005-08-08 02:04:03 PM  
What seals?
I auditioned for this job.
2005-08-08 02:04:51 PM  
Maybe he was trying to catch the seal by using the bass as bait.
2005-08-08 02:05:41 PM  

I'm no fishing expert...but I'll go out on a limb here and say that different species of fish tend to be of different shapes and sizes.

But hey, I could be wrong.
2005-08-08 02:07:07 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2005-08-08 02:07:43 PM  
Go Tigers!
Go Wings!
Go Lions!

3 cheers for Detroit - the city I was born in!
(of course I fled to the suburbs the very next day)
2005-08-08 02:07:51 PM  
This thread gets the seal of approval.

[image from too old to be available]
2005-08-08 02:07:55 PM  
A real man woulda gone after that seal and kicked its ass.

Dude got it right, though, with the comment about kids. I can have a crappy day, but when I get home and see the little ones, and all three run up screaming "Daddy!" I start to think, what was I upset about?
2005-08-08 02:07:59 PM  
Why won't those Navy guys keep their hands of my fish?
2005-08-08 02:08:32 PM  
Hmm, steriods tend to make people short tempered. So perhaps he gave up the steriods and became an easier going person.

/completely out of left field
2005-08-08 02:09:13 PM  
At least he didn't blow a seal over the incident.
2005-08-08 02:09:35 PM  
Balder333, no love for the Pistons? They're only the team that delivered the most recent title... I forget, did the Wings win a cup recently?
2005-08-08 02:12:54 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Bass?!?! HELL NO! More cowbell!
2005-08-08 02:12:58 PM  
One more seal pun, and I'll puke.
2005-08-08 02:13:44 PM  
sorry carts4, here's a baggie.
2005-08-08 02:14:00 PM  
/goes back to Boston thread
2005-08-08 02:14:39 PM  
and number 1 on strongbads bottom 10: cleaning vomit out of the keyboard
2005-08-08 02:16:01 PM  

One more seal pun, and I'll puke.

Well, I reckon I might seal the deal with this one :P

Oh, and if it was a baby seal, I woulda clubbed the farker for stealing my fish

/Got zero
2005-08-08 02:16:51 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

He wouldnt stand a chance
against Carp.
2005-08-08 02:17:16 PM  

One more seal pun, and I'll puke.

Quite right, its time for us to talk of other things. Of shoes and ships and Seal-ing wax, of cabbages and kings, and why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings!
2005-08-08 02:18:43 PM  
Yep, that's pretty much how Navy SEALs like their bass, big, raw and in the water. Buzzy.

/"Even if I've pitched badly," Douglass said, "he's excited to see me. All you can do is smile and forget about everything you did on the field.
//Sounds like he just figured out life & what's important.
2005-08-08 02:20:43 PM  
The Bass-a-matic '76.
Wow. That's good Bass.

[image from too old to be available]

Wow, thanks for the laugh Homer_J_Fong
2005-08-08 02:25:27 PM  
Well, at least he didn't lose any treble
2005-08-08 02:25:38 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

2005-08-08 02:26:47 PM  
2005-08-08 02:27:42 PM  
...Or maybe a Scary Giant Nicole Bass:
[image from too old to be available]
2005-08-08 02:28:10 PM  
GIS for bass:

[image from too old to be available]
2005-08-08 02:29:57 PM  
I'll bet the steroids helped his game more than his change in philosophy.
2005-08-08 02:33:07 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2005-08-08 02:35:24 PM  
Got the lyrics, courtesy of a friend in the Georgia Tech band (Go Jackets!)

"The Baby Seal Song" (To the tune of "Mountain Dew")

Way up north where it is cold,
The people ain't got a lot of gold.
They make their livin'
off the baby seal skins they've sold.
But me, I like the killin'
Because its so fulfillin'
And I hate to see a baby seal grow old.

You don't kill a seal
'Cause you want a meal.
You do it cause you wanna hear
the little suckers squeal.
You hit 'em on the head
And you do it just for kicks.
Then you poke out their eyes
with your eye-pokin' sticks.

My father was a little mean.
My mother was a bit obscene.
Maybe that's the reason
for the way that I feel.
You may not believe me
But my girlfriend wants to leave me.
So I guess I'll take it out
on a baby seal


The liberals want to lock me up
Because I kill the seal pups
And tie their skins up
into little bales.
They say that it won't be too long
Before the baby seals are gone.
Then I guess I'll just start
wipin' out the whales.


Slice 'em. Dice 'em. Roto-till 'em.
Chop 'em up. Or just plain kill 'em
The skin comes off
with just a little peel. (rip! rip!)
Now people, people, don't you cry 'cause
I know that when I die
I'll be comin' back
as a baby seal.

2005-08-08 02:37:15 PM  
He must have seen the sign

/It'd better not be obscure
2005-08-08 02:39:17 PM  
I'll bet he was pissed.

[image from too old to be available]
2005-08-08 02:42:39 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2005-08-08 02:42:49 PM  
Nice fishing trip:

Went to catch a fish, got a little head instead!
2005-08-08 02:54:58 PM  
"Looks like you blew a seal"

"oh, no, that just icecream"
2005-08-08 03:19:45 PM  
Sidenote: his kid's name is Caden. When will this asinine name-your-kid-with-madeup-stupid-names-that-will-sound-even-worse-when-the-kid 's-an-adult end?
2005-08-08 03:27:31 PM  
"Fish heads...roly poly fish heads...."

Was it just me or did you feel a little sick when he said there was only the head and a little gill left?

/eat them up! Yum!
//feeling pukey
2005-08-08 03:27:32 PM  
2005-08-08 02:16:51 PM Dinty Moore's Law

He wouldnt stand a chance
against Carp.

Carpenter is a fluke. He will never ever pitch like this again in his career. Trust me.
2005-08-08 03:30:41 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
He's pitching for the Tigers now?
2005-08-08 03:51:49 PM  
I used to set my alarm for news radio. One time it went off and I fell back asleep. I had a dream that it told me George Brett got eaten by a shark.
2005-08-08 04:17:54 PM  
This article is about as interesting as baseball or fishing. Better than golf, tho.
2005-08-08 05:39:19 PM  
In this case it'll be two words...

BULL shiat.

And you should've seen the 15 pound bass that the killer whale ate when I was reeling it in.
2005-08-08 05:57:41 PM  
I picture this pitcher catching a bass in his mitt.
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