I'm Fiddy!

That's gunna be a rally old bear.

/I gots not a thing.

So, it charged her and didn't attack, and then she hit it with a stick and punched it in the nose. Then it bit her and stuff and went away.

I don't know, if it was me I would have opted for not hitting it first.

Damn, I've got 70-20 pounds on that bear, and the gun to shoot it with ;)

DtTall

Agreed.

best. false. logic. EVAR.

/she should move to Vegas

It charged her several times. I don't know much about bear attacks, but I'm pretty sure it would have been foolish to run, and I'd be too freaking scared to just stand my ground. I'm not saying attacking it was the smartest thing to do but... well, instinct may just take over at a time like that.

And all that aside... JESUS CHRIST! Getting mauled by a bear. I can't imagine how terrifying that must have been.

And what an awesome little dog, doing its best to attack something about 20x its size.

The attack lasted less than a minute, then the bear looked at something and went away, Munn said.

Oh look! A dog with a poofy tail!

/bear toddles off

That's probably the most oral she's gotten in years

...and Reason #4 I wouldn't walk into the deep, deep woods without a serious handgun. No, not a 9mm. That would only annoy a bear.

FYI: had an uncle who was mauled by a polar bear. Bit my uncle's *nose* off and caused other damage before being killed. My uncle is still alive thank goodness, though he had to undergo extensive rehab. :-P

--h

hmm... bear charges, does nothing. bear charges again, does nothing. bear charges a third time, does nothing. at this point obviously the most logical step is to hit it with a stick and punch it in the nose??

i say we kill HER and test HER for diseases and give the rabies shots to the bear.

The bear was telling her to go away, by charging her and not attacking her. She didn't get the picture? She could have just walked away at that point and nothing would have happened.

Punk

Gambler's fallacy. Big time.

I thought I had problems with dogs chasing me on my bike rides.
/Tough old gal

Attacked by a bear and the police take 30 minutes to drag themselves away from their donuts and finally show? Nice.

"SHE" poked it with a stick and they want to kill the bear ?? I dont get it...

Homer: Not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol must be working like a charm.
Lisa: That's spacious reasoning, Dad.
Homer: Thank you, dear.
Lisa: By your logic I could claim that this rock keeps tigers away.
Homer: Oh, how does it work?
Lisa: It doesn't work.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Lisa: It's just a stupid rock.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Lisa: But I don't see any tigers around, do you?
Homer: Lisa, I want to buy your rock.

Best bear thingy I can think of...

clicky clicky download darn

bump
That's probably the most oral she's gotten in years

Getting oral from a 150-200 pound bear... some people have all the luck.

/sigh

Nice logic, lady. Optimists like this deserve to become bear shiat.

Lucky for her the bear remembered it had left the oven on.

I'm sick of these constant bear attacks. It's like a frickin' country bear jambaroo around here!

dittybopper

Maybe. Maybe not. Wild animals are, well, wild. You can't predict with certain accuracy what they will do in a given situation, just like you can't with humans.

Maybe not with 100% accuracy. But black bears are KNOWN to bluff charge. It's their way of saying, "You're in my territory now, so get the Hell out!" Poking it with a stick & whacking it upside the snout after the 3rd bluff charge was stupid to the point of Darwinity. Most experts advise that, should you encounter a black bear, you should slowly and calmly back away. Speak quietly and soothingly. Do not make eye contact; the bear will interpret this as aggression. If the bear bluff charges, do NOT turn & run. Continue to back away slowly. If the bear actually attacks, fight back vigorously.

On the other hand, if it's a grizzly attack, you're smoked. Your only hope is to play dead.

DNR searches for the bear have not been successful. If a bear that matches Munn's description is found, it will be killed and examined for disease.

"Ummm yeah, it was brown, about 150-200 lbs and 'bear-like'."

It seems that she never learned playground ethics. Never throw the first punch.

/Agree that the bear said "go away". She should have listened.

brown => black

If you are truly being chased by a bear and you have exhausted all other options; running downhill is effective. Bears have short front legs and hate running downhill.

catchow

That's roughly what I remember from a park ranger talk i had once. Except I remember them suggesting singing and whistling while backing away, cause it confuses the bear into thinking "wtf is this creature?"

Hope I remember that right, cause I'd feel like an idiot if i was devoured while singing "zipah dee do dah"

best part of that safety talk:

little kid: "but what if the grizzly wants to eat you when you're playing dead?"
ranger: "ummmm..." ::awkward pause:: "next question please?"

/seriously, who the fark punches a bear
//everyone knows greco-roman wrestling is the way to go

wgb423

If you are truly being chased by a bear...

If you are truly being chased by a bear, you are dead. and you would deserve your darwinian reward for running away in the first place. a grizzly can run down a moose if it feels like it, do you actually think a bald monkey like you would get more than a few steps before you're lunch?

for a bear, generally:
people = potential threat
things that run away = food

and never play dead with a black bear, cause they're mainly scavengers.

i'd hit it.

in the nose.

Anybody remember that classic joke about "Bear Safety in Grizzly Country"? Don't recall exactly how it goes...something like:

"Exercise caution when hiking in grizzly country. Tie small bells on your backpack; these will chime as you walk and alert bears to your presence. Carry pepper spray at all times. Watch for bear scat along the trail. Grizzly scat is easy to recognize; it contains small bells and smells like pepper."

where are the cute bear pics?

Munn walked back to her house, called for help and waited about 30 minutes outside for police to come.

WTF?!?!? I'd be pissed as hell. A bear was chewing on her and not only did she walk home but she waited outside for the police. Where the HERO tag?

Did he forget his, missile defence? Allways bring missile defence! You never know when you are gonna need it!!! Or a indian herd, or lance armstrong on a bike with room for one more.

If a bear that matches Munn's description is found,...


WTF? Did it have a tattoo?

Chris


a grizzly can run down a moose if it feels like it


Perhaps in an exceptional situation they could. Generally bears (black or grizzlies) can run about 25 miles an hour, with spurts sometimes up to 30mph. Moose on the other hand can easily go 30-35mph.


do you actually think a bald monkey like you would get more than a few steps before you're lunch


Having grown up in the woods of Maine, with many encounters with bears (and moose) I can answer yes. You can make many many steps away from bears without being 'lunch'. A bear will smell you long before you see them, so generally, you wont see them unless they want you to.

Bears aren't man hungry creatures roaming the earth hiding behind trees waiting to eat people. They are just territorial animals that will try and scare you off if you are to close, esp. to their young.


/Put down the book and get some real life experience, Junior.
//a moose once bit my sister
///not really, I just like saying that

She's the real 50 Cent

wbg423: What's your sister think of that?

hdhale

...and Reason #4 I wouldn't walk into the deep, deep woods without a serious handgun.

*chuckles* You know, I heard a good story from a guy who spent summers in Alaska about the best kind of handgun to carry as bear defense. He said "Don't worry about the caliber or barrel length, or anything like that. Just be sure to file off the front sight post before heading out." We all blinked and said "Why?"

His reply: "That way, when the bear takes the gun away and shoves it up your ass, it doesn't hurt as bad."

What we took away from it is that pretty much nothing handheld will stop a determined bear, not even a blackie. His suggestion was bring a rifle or even better, bear spray. The notion is that shooting a bear hurts it badly enough that it tends to choose the 'fight' part of fight-or-flight, so if you do shoot a bear, you gotta stop it by the second shot, or you're screwed. Pepper spray (3% works the best, he said) is more likely to put the bear in 'flight' mode, and that's what you're going for in a bear encounter.

/guns are heavier than bear spray, too
//bear spray also adds zest to boring backpacking food. :)

PSA:

If you run into a 200 lbs bear, get the fark out of there. The reason it is mad is you are either between it and its baby, or between it and its food. Try to look as large as you can and be as loud as you can while you back far away from it.

DO NOT POKE IT WITH A STICK YOU FARKING IDIOT OR YOU DESERVE WHAT DARWIN GIVES YOU

My bear story - We were hiking near Whiskeytown lake in California and I stepped off the trail to take a leak. When I finished the group was just out of sight so I yelled at them to hold up while I caught up. When I got there, everyone was looking at me weird and someone said "that took some balls!" WTF? They pointed back down the trail. I had just walked right past a young black bear. I was watching so closely for snakes that I didn't see the freakin bear. It was standing on the trail with a WTF look on its face.

Lesson learned: Darwin favors the oblivious maybe?

/A ranger once told me that grizzly bears really appreciate you bringing your own spices (pepper) to the meal.

garnan
wbg423: What's your sister think of that?

She thought it was funny until I named my dog "Moose".

Dawiz2k

/A ranger once told me that grizzly bears really appreciate you bringing your own spices (pepper) to the meal.

On the topic of bear jokes: hikers in Yellowstone are taught to wear bear bells and carry pepper spray, and to distinguish between black bear and grizzly bear scat. Black bear scat is dark, and often contains berries or other residue, while grizzly scat makes a tinkling sound and smells like peppers. :)

Two backpackers are hiking through the woods, when suddenly they're charged by a bear. One quickly drops his pack, and starts pulling on his running shoes. The other guy says "What the hell are you doing - you can't outrun that bear!" The first guys says "Screw the bear - I just have to outrun *you*."

/try the fish