One moment Ms Swinden was admiring the reef sharks at Sydney Aquarium and the next she was surrounded by them with blood pouring from a deep cut.


That's nearly as bad as sitting in the dynamite monkey cage holding a 10ft long taunting stick.

Did someone say Dynamite Monkey?

Should've used transparent aluminum.

"showering her in glass and sharks"

farking awesome line XD

She claims to have suffered post-traumatic stress as a result.
[...]
The drama took place several years ago but has only now reached court, where the victim is seeking unspecified damages.

Give me a damn break. It was an ACCIDENT, lady. shiat happens. You might be entitled to get your medical treatment paid for, and maybe enough for a new set of clothes, but you don't deserve one penny more.

The case is happening in Australia.

There is no such thing as punitive damages here.

She will only get her medical treatment paid for.

She's taking lessons from us?? LOL

$hark3d!!1!eleven!!

Imagine how traumatic it was for the sharks. One minute everything is fine, the next you're showered with air and tourists.

kaer:

The case is happening in Australia.

There is no such thing as punitive damages here.

She will only get her medical treatment paid for.

Let's hope so. And does physcological (goddammit I can never spell that word) treatment count? If so, I can understand the lack of punitive.

Just sayin'.

Would be pretty freaked out if a ton of water and shakrs were all hanging around and me with a big bloody gash...even if I was okay I'd still lose like ten years off my life from being ape-shiat scared for the 0.05 seconds.

What about the sharks? Are the sharks ok?

Throw her back in, with bigger sharks this time.

Looks like her trip to the aquarium was a total washout.

she's a stupid natch. it's too bad the glass didn't take her head off. and i thought sharks were attracted to blood. why wasn't there a feeding frenzy?

no ill tempered sea bass in the tank?

I think she needs a bigger boat.

Some folks pay good money for this kind of thrill!

Her brain must have been flooded with bad thoughts.

I always wondered if something like that ever happened at these aquariums. Now, thanks to Fark, I know. If I'm ever going to be involved in a mishap, I want it to be one like this. "Showering her in glass and sharks" is an awesome sentence.

P.S. I LOVE the dynamite monkey. I missed him
/hugs for everyone.

they were too busy dieing from lack of oxygen.

I think I might have to admit that this is something worth suing for (for medical expenses at least). Sheesh.

"...and that, children, is why we should never tap on the glass."

Damn, I hate it when that happens!

...and don't forget the frickin' laser beams!!!

[knock, knock]

"Hazel Swinden?"

"Yes? Who is it?"

"...candygram."

The sharks stressed her out but the other hundreds of venomous animals in Aussie land didnt ... riiiiiiiiiiiiight.

KickahaOta

Imagine how traumatic it was for the sharks. One minute everything is fine, the next you're showered with air and tourists.

Brilliantness!

/ Headline, too.

Was Harry Potter nearby, by chance?

"The woman's lawyer has told a Sydney court how she was submerged for several seconds and could feel the sharks brushing past her."

She cannot work because of post traumatic stress, but she can still be around sharks without a problem? I mean heck she hired one to represent her in court.

Pppttt. It would have been worthwhile reading, if the sharks had frickin' laser beams on the their heads.

/obvious

KickahaOta

My props to you as well....... had me laughin'

what a wuss.

ScummyTheGymbag

Nice username.

There's something fishy about her story

kurt-roges
I second that motion. Why what she went through, most have been one of the scariest moments in her life, accidents do happen. They'll pay your medical but don't get farking greedy. As for the post event stress...avoid aquarims

Oh wow. I missed 2005-08-02 12:15:17 PM KickahaOta's post. Very, VERY funny.

I have seen a lot of good headlines on Fark in my time here, but for some reason, showering her in glass and sharks is officially my all-time favorite. I think I might have to put that in my profile declaring such.

/Not that this was one, but I would never visit an underwater/glass aquarium.

Why aren't we hearing from anyone else? You're telling me she was the *only* person in the aquarium that day?

Do you mean she needs a mako ver? Man, better get her a home nurse as well. She'll probably feel blue for a while but soon she will be basking in the limelight. Personally I think its a load of bull. The results of any publicity will be that she turns into a ham or head swells from newly acquired money. We'll sea.

FINished.

I can see this being tramatic.

thinkharder_homer

ScummyTheGymbag. Nice username.

Thanks. Didn't quite like the previous 4 I'd tried on, then one day I saw jimmy_the_scumbag, and in a brilliant flash of asshat punnery, I KNEW who I was destined to Fark as.

Did she jump the shark(s)?

Big_Bad_Dad

Did you write that on porpise?

if she were showered in glass, sharks, and fire, then you'd have a really cool headline

Broodwich

Anyone wearing that shirt and carrying around that cup is obviously suffering from some sort of massive psychological trauma.

and no one has posted pics from Jaws 3---for shame

/obvious.

1. The accident left Hazel Swinden, 61, in chest-high water with a badly gashed ankle caused by flying debris.

The sharks were hardly flopping on the floor if she ended up in chest-high water. Is that joint watertight or what?

2. The woman's lawyer has told a Sydney court how she was submerged for several seconds and could feel the sharks brushing past her.

I can't imagine how that would feel, but I've had lawyers brushing past me and that would at least have to be comparable.