If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Some Algebraic Topologist)   And the award for "funniest name for a mathematical theorem" goes to...   (en.wikipedia.org) divider line 133
    More: Amusing  
•       •       •

39234 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Aug 2005 at 12:46 PM (8 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



133 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2005-08-01 08:55:05 AM
The hairy ball theorem of algebraic topology states that, in layman's terms, "one cannot comb the hair on a ball in a smooth manner".

That's some funny shiat right there.
 
2005-08-01 09:08:55 AM
Hehehehe...I know I can't comb the hair on mine.

Damn, that's funny.
 
2005-08-01 09:10:54 AM
Ahhh... it does this crusty heart some good to see topology make its way onto Fark. Now then... anybody up for a Category Theory Cafe?
 
2005-08-01 09:11:08 AM
A topologist is just a mathematician so stupid that he can't tell you what the difference is between his coffee mug and his donut.
 
2005-08-01 11:17:46 AM
Obviously submitter is not a politics guy. We had to study the farks theorem.

I swear to the gods, this is true. When I get home I'll have to find my geopoltics notes.
 
2005-08-01 11:47:45 AM
Asa Phelps
A topologist is just a mathematician so stupid that he can't tell you what the difference is between his coffee mug and his donut.

Heh.
 
2005-08-01 12:10:17 PM
Side note: I give the prize for weirdest math name to Lipschitz condition. Hairy ball theorem pretty good, though.
 
2005-08-01 12:49:41 PM
I wish I had any hair on my ball to comb. :(
 
2005-08-01 12:49:49 PM
RDRR!
 
2005-08-01 12:50:41 PM
I always liked the Pumping Lemma.
 
2005-08-01 12:52:56 PM
One surprising consequence of the hairy ball theorem: The Earth is approximately a ball, and at each point on the surface, wind has a direction. It follows from the theorem that there is always a place where the air is perfectly still.

And it always seems to be wherever I'm at when someone has farted nearby.
 
2005-08-01 12:53:29 PM
As long as we're telling great/awful math & science jokes, here are my favorites:

Joke the first:
There are 10 type of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't.

Joke the second:
What do you get when you cross a lambda phage with a mountain climber?

Nothing, silly! You can't cross a vector with a scaler!
(Yes, I know it's "scalar", but it's homophone, and homophones are always funny.)
 
2005-08-01 12:53:57 PM
I laughed out loud there,powderedtoastdude.
 
2005-08-01 12:54:11 PM
brilliant Simpsons reference Farkwod!
 
2005-08-01 12:55:23 PM
I wonder what the Submitter was looking for when he found this.
 
2005-08-01 12:55:48 PM
Eventually I will release my Distended Wang Theorem. I'm still in the process of poking and prodding it to find its limitations, and trying to find some real meat in the practical applications.
 
2005-08-01 12:56:24 PM
There really is nothing like the feel of a shorn scrotum. It's breathtaking, I assure you. I suggest that you try it.

Thank Dog I can comb my torus flat, though.
 
2005-08-01 12:59:16 PM
Iarasi: I laughed out loud there,powderedtoastdude.

It was you, wasn't it! :)
 
2005-08-01 12:59:55 PM
e lo: homophones are always funny.


GIS: Homo Phone


 
2005-08-01 01:00:01 PM
I got yer hairy ball theorem right here.
 
2005-08-01 01:00:49 PM
 
2005-08-01 01:01:49 PM
As long as we're telling great/awful math & science jokes

Q) What's the square root of 69?
A) Oh, eight something.
 
2005-08-01 01:02:01 PM
In my topology class we called this the Hedgehog Theorem.

You can't comb a hedgehog because of something about homotopic mappings of a sphere onto itself....
 
2005-08-01 01:02:28 PM
'The hairy ball theorem of algebraic topology states that, in layman's terms, "one cannot comb the hair on a ball in a smooth manner".'

This is why we shave people!!!

"There is nothing like a shorn scrotum. Its quite breathtaking really, i suggest you try it."
 
2005-08-01 01:05:51 PM
I know next to nothing about topology, but couldn't you use a semicircular comb with the same radius as the sphere and by pivoting at the poles comb the hair along lines of latitude?

And barring that, can't you just give it a dorky bowl-cut?
 
2005-08-01 01:07:22 PM
NERDS!

NNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDSSSSSSSSS!
 
2005-08-01 01:08:08 PM
You can't comb the hair straight, but you CAN use Occam's Razor to shave the ball.
 
2005-08-01 01:08:34 PM
Barnstormer

I know even less about topology, but I'm assuming you are not allowed to pivot anywhere since all points have hairs coming out of them - pivoting there would exclude them from combing.

I'm sure there's a more obvious problem with this, though...
 
2005-08-01 01:09:18 PM
Google scholar search for Sonic the Hedgehog

Those wacky academic types...
 
2005-08-01 01:09:27 PM
Hairy balls and homoerotic hedgehogs, whaa?

I always thought there was some funny shiat going on over in the math department.

/how I comb my balls is none of your damn business
 
2005-08-01 01:09:44 PM
Barnstormer: comb the hair along lines of latitude?

Which leaves the poles uncombed. That's basically the whole point of the theorem.
 
2005-08-01 01:09:53 PM
I see your hairy ball theorem and raise you Cox rings
 
2005-08-01 01:09:57 PM
one cannot comb the hair on a ball in a smooth manner

Lord knows I've tried too.
 
2005-08-01 01:10:14 PM
Barnstormer:

I know next to nothing about topology, but couldn't you use a semicircular comb with the same radius as the sphere and by pivoting at the poles comb the hair along lines of latitude?

In which direction is the hair on both poles combed?

That it is a continuous combing means you can't have hair go in a completely different direction than the hair next to it.
 
2005-08-01 01:12:10 PM
lame.
 
2005-08-01 01:12:25 PM
Ah-huh-huh-huh. Hairy. Ball. Huh-huh-huh.

 
2005-08-01 01:12:37 PM
neven ...but I'm assuming you are not allowed to pivot anywhere...

Oh, ballocks. And I suppose we can't split hairs, either.
 
2005-08-01 01:14:31 PM
Due to the mentioning of "topology" in this thread, I am obligated to make a brief appearance.
 
2005-08-01 01:14:59 PM
damned it, powderedtoastdude, you stole my joke!
 
2005-08-01 01:17:18 PM
The analogy between the field of tangent vectors to the sphere and the hairy ball break down when you consider that hair can stand on end (not be tangent to your head). YOu certainly can have a smooth vector field on a sphere, just not a smooth field of tangent vectors.
 
2005-08-01 01:17:38 PM
star_topology - and in a thread about the appearance of things in your briefs no less.
 
2005-08-01 01:18:11 PM
Asteron:

In which direction is the hair on both poles combed?

That it is a continuous combing means you can't have hair go in a completely different direction than the hair next to it.


Well, I'm pretty sure it would still be continuous, but the theorem is that there will always be at least one point where that mapping is zero. In this case the poles would be zero.
 
2005-08-01 01:19:55 PM
Here's a math joke for you, saw it on a blackboard in my physics building:

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a banana?

A: elephant*banana*sin(theta)

The worst part is I actually chuckled at it.
 
2005-08-01 01:20:26 PM
What about:
Why do math majors confuse Christmas and Holloween?
DEC 25 = OCT 31!
 
2005-08-01 01:20:45 PM
Farkwod
RDRR!
 
2005-08-01 01:21:27 PM
firepit
Well played, my fine sir/madam. Your witty post doesn't fall upon blind eyes. :p
 
2005-08-01 01:22:34 PM
duckpoopy: No, because in the analogy, hair standing on end is defined as "uncombed."

I take issue with the wikipedia article's assertation that there is always a place where the air is still, though. Air has three dimensions to move in, so is not constrained to tangent vectors.
 
2005-08-01 01:30:39 PM
 
usr
2005-08-01 01:34:47 PM
I see your hairy balls and raise you a Retarded Potential.

/always gets a chuckle out of me
 
2005-08-01 01:37:21 PM
Submitter:

 
Displayed 50 of 133 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all



This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report