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(Pravda)   Eighteenth-century Russian Kamasutra found in village; describes all possible types of sex and sexual relations, some "unimaginable"   (english.pravda.ru) divider line 63
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22939 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Aug 2005 at 5:53 PM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2005-08-01 01:27:24 PM  
This Thread is Hereby Declared to be Worthless Without a Transcription.

/WTF in the book is "unimaginable"?
 
2005-08-01 01:30:32 PM  
Oh, I dunno. I can imagine real good-like.
 
2005-08-01 05:56:46 PM  
I'd like to see a Farking in the Modern Farkdom book.
 
2005-08-01 05:56:54 PM  
Back then, I wonder if they ever imagined two puppets doing the "Nail".

MATT DAMON!!
 
2005-08-01 05:57:02 PM  
Is Wankdorf in Russia?

/I've got nothing
 
2005-08-01 05:57:36 PM  
Why are so many Pravda links greenlit when they're usually so bogus?
 
2005-08-01 05:57:36 PM  
 
2005-08-01 05:58:15 PM  
muninsfire

/WTF in the book is "unimaginable"?


Catherine the Great's rumored liaison with an equine?
 
2005-08-01 05:58:44 PM  
Ah, those long, cold Siberian nights...
 
2005-08-01 05:59:10 PM  
in Pre-Soviet Russia, something somethings you?
 
2005-08-01 05:59:53 PM  
I'm not sure what could be "unimaginable". You have all probably seen it somewhere on this god forsaken digital wasteland.
 
2005-08-01 06:00:31 PM  
Deagans

Yeah, what you said.
 
2005-08-01 06:04:19 PM  
Whoopti Dew

Jeebus H Jumped-up-on-a-horse Farkin Christ!

Why, oh why, did you have to do that to me right here at the end of work. I totally thought I was going to sneak up on an early more kinky version of The Joy of Sex or something and got that?

I was so let down I am leaving work early....
 
2005-08-01 06:05:36 PM  
Maybe unimaginable, but I bet after all these years of internet porn I've seen everything the russians can come up with and then some.

Love snack.

/shudder
 
2005-08-01 06:06:30 PM  
Whoopti Dew

AAAGGGHHHH !!! MY EYES ! MY EYES !



/looks for ice pick...
 
2005-08-01 06:09:20 PM  
A historian: *blush* Ewwww... unimaginable!
A Farker: Hmm? *browse* Meh... Wait.. *browse*.. Nah, meh.

Like snailshell said, it's pretty difficult to think of something (not that I'd want to) that is not on the Interwebs.

When I hear about some of the fetishes (diapers, furries etc), it kinda makes me think there's a magical Fetish Maker out there where you push a button and it combines 3 items from 3 lists to make a new fetish. Like

napkin* moon bread
spoon celery foot*
tank milk* squirrel

Would yield a foot fetish where you put napkins in milk and then rub them on feet.
 
2005-08-01 06:10:51 PM  
What like the back of a Volkswagen?
 
2005-08-01 06:15:12 PM  
moon celery tank

thats where you use celery to build a small celery-tank, and throw it at the moon.

...

gee nevermind
 
2005-08-01 06:17:54 PM  
It's not Newsmax, it's Pravda.com!
 
2005-08-01 06:20:18 PM  
palisade_hacker:
this just in from magical fetish maker.

Collect the grime from undernieth you finger and toenails. save for 1 year. use as "personal lubricant."
repeat.
 
2005-08-01 06:22:30 PM  
palisade_hacker

Dude, you know that's hot...

*goes and gets some napkins*
 
2005-08-01 06:23:29 PM  
snailshell

You know, I don't really want to know what happens in your mind. But it sure sounds scary.

/why do quotation marks make things sound scary? like 'Can I "see" your invitation?' or 'Are you going to "eat" that?'
 
2005-08-01 06:25:19 PM  
Nayman

If you start a website based on that, I'm going to find you and "spank" you.
 
2005-08-01 06:27:06 PM  
palisade_hacker

maybe because if its in quotations, it could be a double entendre. The uncertainty is probably what makes you nervous. But isn't that the only thing that makes anybody nervous?
 
2005-08-01 06:28:35 PM  
and sorry bout that fingernail business. Now that I think about it...thats pretty farkin sick.
 
2005-08-01 06:31:36 PM  
One toke over the line if you will.
 
2005-08-01 06:31:44 PM  
palisade_hacker

Thats exactly why I'm glad theres no sex in WoW. Just think of the quests. For the Kings wedding night we need 15 horns of something hard to kill close by, 7 oils or something easy to kill on the otherside of the game, and so on and so forth.
 
2005-08-01 06:33:34 PM  
If there's one called the Rasputin, count me out.
 
2005-08-01 06:34:26 PM  
Whoopti Dew

You're dead to me!

/pretty funny after I thought about it for a second, though
 
2005-08-01 06:35:28 PM  
But does the book have the "Convergence of the bear and the stork" wherein the man gets 'faced and beats his wife to unconsciousness?
 
2005-08-01 06:36:25 PM  
snailshell, double entendre is old and busted. The new hotness is modern day twisted thinking. The interwebs have taught me that when someone says 'Are you going to "eat" that,' it probably has something to do with genitals. Clicking innocently on links that soon-to-be-burning-in-hell farkers like Whoopti Dew post can do that to you.

/anyway, I'm getting too tired and too sober, so off to bed
//to imagine the "unimaginable", no doubt...
 
2005-08-01 06:37:40 PM  
prolog

Why are so many Pravda links greenlit when they're usually so bogus?

Note the "Media Friends" link section on the left side of fark.
 
2005-08-01 06:37:41 PM  
zerkalo
I belive that the book does have that...but its called a
donkstor punchsto.
 
2005-08-01 06:38:30 PM  
Russian chicks give great handjobs.
 
2005-08-01 06:39:02 PM  
palisade_hacker

call it what you will. but it is what it is.
 
2005-08-01 06:39:28 PM  
An ancient book with detailed descriptions of Russian sexual customs and traditions of the 18th century was found in a remote village.

Yeah, 18th century, talk about your antiquities...

Thanks again Pravda for your interesting perspective.
 
2005-08-01 06:39:51 PM  
From a time and place where all one had to do for recreation was drink and fark...

Hell, we're lucky someone sobered up long enough to write it all down. :)
 
2005-08-01 06:40:16 PM  
The author mentioned almost all, sometimes unimaginable sexual activities, including anal and oral sex, women's and men's masturbation, etc.

Yep, that's pretty unimaginable.
 
2005-08-01 06:40:59 PM  
Whoopti Dew

ARRRGHH!! THE GOGGLES!! THEY DO NOTHING!!

 
2005-08-01 06:41:00 PM  
palisade_hacker
The interwebs have taught me that when someone says 'Are you going to "eat" that,' it probably has something to do with genitals.

Like this?


/Trying to figure out how to get Cora to marry me
 
2005-08-01 06:42:46 PM  
I'll have to remember to do it this way next time
In S oviet R ussia,
 
2005-08-01 06:44:01 PM  
It most likely has text on how to bang a chick european style.
 
2005-08-01 06:50:09 PM  
Get on the line, Broodwich, I've got the charm and looks. She'll be mine and I'll be hers! MWAHAHAHAHA!
 
2005-08-01 06:50:45 PM  
Seriously though, I'd send this link to my girlfriend in Moscow as a subtle reminder that we need to spice things up. But as she only has internet at work that is not advisable.

In other news, I found this:

Kama Sutra Animated (NSFW-animated sex)
 
2005-08-01 06:50:45 PM  
Mrs OW & I recently picked up a "365 sex tips" book for fun. She said she read through most of it.

"So, got any new moves?" I asked.

"Not really, I think we've done them all."

/bragging
//but I'd love to learn something 'unimaginable'
///diagrams appreciated
 
2005-08-01 07:18:58 PM  
OccamsWhiskers:

For unimaginable acts, please see above posts. Or to think
of your own, don't imagine somthing, and then think of what you didn't imagine.

Easy as that!
 
2005-08-01 07:35:56 PM  
Is puppet sex NSFW?

From http://www.kamasutrafree.com (link NSFW)



/Wife of Indra, always leaves 'em happy...
 
2005-08-01 07:39:35 PM  
CygnusDarius:

Yup, it fell from the ugly tree, and it hit every branch on the way down.
 
2005-08-01 07:51:02 PM  
Why do they ever green light Pravda stories? Their always fake and not even entertaining. :(
 
2005-08-01 07:54:38 PM  
Hmmm, Russian peasant sex...not so hot.
 
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