Well, i'm glad I've celebrated at least 7 times already.

Smookyfufu
Well, i'm glad I've celebrated at least 7 times already.

today? or total? ;)

Boo ya! Sign me up.

This thread will be worthless without graphic details.

... it's not like anyone needs to be reminded, but cool.

/not going to make a crude tentacle joke ...

I think I need to do some diddling , myself, after reading that article

plane tickets in hand

I shall join in on the festivities later today me thinks

/with some good ol japanese girl on girl action

Gosh, the Mainichi Daily News coming up with more "naughty" news stories that are about as arousing as a Penthouse Letters column. Gee, they're talking about WOMEN!

best written article ever.....

That article needs more metaphores for beating the meat.

those crazy asians!

/and then...?

mashin' tha gash!

/got nothing

From the article:

By coincidence, this pronunciation is almost identical to onani, a derivative of Onanism, which just about any good student of the Bible would be able to tell is the polite way to refer to, well, self-flagellation.

Time for a little of the old "docking in Shuttle Bay 5"...

"To mark the occasion, the men's pictorial probed 30 women"

/Makes sense to me

Awesome.

farked?

Isn't self-flagellation whipping yourself to get off on it? Not exactly my idea of fun.


/not masochistic

I was in Montreal a couple years ago and the dude on the street trying to get us to come into one of those watch-and-whack peepshow things told us we could "milk the cow".

We passed.

Around my house we call it "Tuesday"

"Strumming the fur banjo"

I love the words used in this article.
soporific, stroking the furnace, polishing the beads, beating around the bush, ...

I'm going out right now to make T-shirts that says 7:21 and show off to those 4:20 peeps

/can finally self-flagellate without guilt for one day a year
//hates catholic upbringing
///wonder if self-flagellation can be used instead of hail mary's

A diddly just ate your baby.

jeez these writers must giggle like schoolchildren while writing this stuff. About 50 double entendres later, toss in a half-naked hot chick, and we have a literary masterpiece.

/lol master
//lol piece
///lol internet

it's also swinginjohn's birthday!

/cheers!

every day is diddling day

[Tatsuo sits at desk. behind him are posters of Columbia Pictures films]

Tatsuo Nosaka: Hello, my name is Tatsuo Nosaka, I am new president of Columbia Pictures. I want to take opportunity to tell American people, we understand what you like! We are working hard to make many new films and television shows for you to consume. In fact, we have just finished new situation comedy for American TV audience. It is crazy and out to lunch! It is called "The Nude House Of Wacky People." Here are some scenes:

[Stock footage of a car wiping out and hurtling down a cliff. Inset circle of Tatsuo narrating]

Here is the father coming home from work with many American hamburgers for the family. He is driving so crazy it makes me laugh! Oh, no! He is crashing so much I have to laugh again! This is too much for me to look at and yet somehow I want to watch more!

[Sitcom living room. The father carries an armload of hamburgers through the front door]

Here is the father again, trying to carry the hamburgers home. Maybe he should carry the car it is so small by now!

[doorbell rings]

Oh, no! How much more insane can it get, I am wondering also.

[Father opens door. Bear enters & immediately attacks Father.]

A bear? How did he get there? There is no time for wondering, because the father is already fighting the bear! Then the bear leaves.

[The bear does indeed stop fighting and walks calmly out the door.]

Whew! Could we please stop now because it is so insane? No, we cannot!

[Wacky mother descends staircase]

Uh-oh, here comes the mother! She is asking the father why the hamburgers smell like a car that has crashed. He tries to think of a falsehood, but he cannot! So he throws fudge at her!

[Father throws a handful of fudge at mother. Bear enters from front door]

Then the bear comes back for more fighting!

[Fight continues]

This is so unusual, I might have to lose my mind! This family is too eccentric!

[Bear calmly leaves again]

I am glad it's over.

[The two children come down the stairs]

Hey! Here are the children of the wacky family! "Thank you for so many hamburgers," they say! "Ohhhh," says the father, "you cannot have hamburgers or candy canes until you do your homework!" "But we have no homework," say the children. "No homework?" Says the wacky father, "Then you will have to fight the bear!"

[Father opens the door for the Bear, who now fights with all four family members.]

I hope you have enjoyed these scenes from "The Nude House of Wacky People," Coming in January on CBS! If these pictures have not already convinced you how insane it is, then how about this?

[a green, dollar-sign-festooned show ribbon appears with Ronald Reagan's face inside]

That is right, it is the Ron Reagan United States presidential seal of approval!

Ronald Reagan: The Nude House Of Wacky People is just the kind of wholesome family entertainment that Japan is known for. Nancy loves it too!

And, don't forget our other new shows, such as:

[Appropriate title card appears for each show]

"You Can't Stop Him, He's Too Insane!"

"Good Hitting Police,"

and, "Who Can Figure Out Such Devices?"

If I am not mistaken, they will all drive you into a gourd! Later, dudes!

[fade to black]

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/89/89enude.phtml

q: onanii-ni, nani siteru-no?

a: onani-si...


/sorry

My personal favorite

Rubbing one out

/thank you come again

"It's porno novels. When I see all those complicated kanji with lots of brush strokes, it turns me on like nothing else," the 33-year-old tells Flash.

Sounds like my kind of woman.

A 21-year-old woman says her experience started by having gotten into her mother's drawers

Looks some one beat her to it, about 22 years ago.

Happy Birthday,swinginjohn!
This one's for you:



Have a Diddley day.

Happy birthday swinginjohn!

You should celebrate by perofrming your own one-man play: "Diddler on the Roof"


/Oh god...I am SO sorry....

She double-clicks her mouse!!!one!!eleventeen!!

Taunting the beaver

/Sorry, every thread needs a HA!HA! guy :/

Checking the bearded clam for pearls?

checking for ring size?

shlick shlick

**insert 70's porn music here**

http://walkingdead.net/perl/euphemism

mrexcess

i dont know why but i thought that was hilarious.

To mark the occasion, the men's pictorial probed 30 women working for adult video companies to discover what it takes to get them beating around the bush.

Hahaha

Pulling your goalie

It can happen to you cuz it happened to me.