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(Some Alien)   Alien abduction insurance - Beam Me Up... I'm Covered   ( divider line
    More: Stupid  
•       •       •

1446 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Apr 2002 at 10:24 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

16 Comments     (+0 »)
2002-04-13 10:27:34 AM  
wow is pretty much all i have to say
2002-04-13 10:34:36 AM  
pretty dumb.
2002-04-13 10:36:43 AM  
This has insurance fraud written all over it...
2002-04-13 10:38:59 AM  
ET phone insurance company?
2002-04-13 10:55:32 AM  
This sounds like that Saturday Night Life commercial for insurance against robot attacks.
2002-04-13 11:05:03 AM  
Old Lady #1: When my ex-husband passed away, the insurance company said his policy didn't cover him.
Old Lady #2: They didn't have enough money for the funeral.
Old Lady #3: It's so hard nowadays, with all the gangs and rap music..
Old Lady #1: What about the robots?
Old Lady #4: Oh, they're everywhere!
Old Lady #1: I don't even know why the scientists make them.
Old Lady #2: Darren and I have a policy with Old Glory Insurance, in case we're attacked by robots.
Old Lady #1: An insurance policy with a robot plan? Certainly, I'm too old.
Old Lady #2: Old Glory covers anyone over the age of 50 against robot attack, regardless of current health.

[ cut to Sam Waterston, Compensated Endorser ]
Sam Waterson: I'm Sam Waterston, of the popular TV series "Law & Order". As a senior citizen, you're probably aware of the threat robots pose. Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel. Well, now there's a company that offers coverage against the unfortunate event of robot attack, with Old Glory Insurance. Old Glory will cover you with no health check-up or age consideration. [ SUPER: Limitied Benefits First Two Years ] You need to feel safe. And that's harder and harder to do nowadays, because robots may strike at any time. [ show pie chart reading "Cause of Death in Persons Over 50 Years of Age": Heart Disease, 42% - Robots, 58% ] And when they grab you with those metal claws, you can't break free.. because they're made of metal, and robots are strong. Now, for only $4 a month, you can achieve peace of mind in a world full of grime and robots, with Old Glory Insurance. So, don't cower under your afghan any longer. Make a choice. [ SUPER: "WARNING: Persons denying the existence of Robots may be Robots themselves. ] Old Glory Insurance. For when the metal ones decide to come for you - and they will.
2002-04-13 11:06:28 AM  
So how much do i get for just an anal probing?
2002-04-13 11:25:19 AM  
can you say...scam?
2002-04-13 11:26:51 AM  
Wait a minute wait a minute WAIT A MUNTE! Gary Condit is Connie Chung's beneficiary? AHHHH!!!!
2002-04-13 12:37:23 PM  
2002-04-13 12:41:55 PM  
This isn't funny at all. Not to those of us who have been abducted. It is no laughing matter. You insensitive assholes!
2002-04-13 01:03:27 PM  
HA. HA. HA. HA... you low intelegence earthlings. soon now, our race from the planet PoopkaadublashinaGookudpalink etc etc will take over your planet and become a superior Lawyer, telemarketer, and insurance people race. BWA. HA. HA. HA. HA.
2002-04-13 03:02:12 PM  
Funniest link I've seen in a long time. Note the Texas IQ test at the bottom of the page. This isn't a serious site.
2002-04-13 03:04:03 PM  
I was going to make some stupid comment about "preserved evil brain in a robot body bent on world domination and enslaving the whole and total of mankind", but Boxcar already beat me to it with quoting the shiat out of that old SNL sketch. Oh well, it's stupid, and what are the insurance companies going to do if those pasty little bastards land and admit to abducting humans, policy holders included? Someone's little scam going to bite them in the ass that day my friends.
2002-04-13 03:16:47 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

somehow I think if someone is abducted by aliens, insurance will be the last thing on their mind...assuming it hasn't been eaten like a cocktail weenie...
2002-04-13 07:50:07 PM  
I think I heard an ad for this on Art Bell
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