Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Abc.net.au)   Boy who slam-dunked his hands right off now has hands back on, is happy and knows it   (abc.net.au) divider line 119
    More: Cool  
•       •       •

36963 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Jul 2005 at 2:54 PM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



119 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2005-07-08 03:22:06 PM  
[image from entimg.msn.com too old to be available]

Happier times.
 
2005-07-08 03:22:33 PM  
usrid0

Yes. But I think she would have known if it was a well unless it was dry.
 
2005-07-08 03:24:01 PM  
[image from briantimpe.com too old to be available]

Dr. Klahn is building a fighting force of extraordinary magnitude. We forge our spirits in the traditions of our ancestors. We should all give Dr. Klahn a big hand!
 
2005-07-08 03:24:15 PM  
I would not want to sit on the couch that belonged to the pubescent boy sans hands.
 
2005-07-08 03:24:51 PM  
2 thumbs up!
 
2005-07-08 03:25:03 PM  
How many times have I laughed harder than when reading this thread? I can count on the fingers of one hand....nevermind.
 
2005-07-08 03:27:34 PM  
It would be really funny to me if he grows up and his hands work all fine and he's really good at sports but then one day he gives his buddy a really hard high five and his hand flies right back off and a dog caught it and ran away with it and gnawed on it. Then he could have a nice wooden hand made like Chubbs did before Happy farked it all up.

But then I'm pretty twisted.
 
2005-07-08 03:27:44 PM  
This guy lost both his arms and both his legs, and just look at him now!

[image from www2.gascp.com too old to be available]
 
2005-07-08 03:29:02 PM  
omg. The headline. *shakes head in mock shame*

Bravo, submitter.
 
2005-07-08 03:31:22 PM  
usrid0:

2005-07-08 02:56:10 PM moops

what did helen keller do when she fell down the well?

she screamed her hands off.

Wasn't she blind?


And deaf
 
2005-07-08 03:31:57 PM  
we_hates: I would not want to sit on the couch that belonged to the pubescent boy sans hands.


Yeah, and stay away from the liver and onions at dly's place, too.
 
2005-07-08 03:38:29 PM  
High Five!

/maybe not
 
2005-07-08 03:39:02 PM  
I'm ashamed to know what a fifi is.
 
2005-07-08 03:42:03 PM  
This is the funniest headline I've seen in a long time.
*****
 
2005-07-08 03:43:38 PM  
Ha, ha, ha, great headline. I'd clap for it, but I have no hands...

/laugh it up, you insensitive pricks
 
2005-07-08 03:45:13 PM  
Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?

A: Because she was a woman.
 
2005-07-08 03:49:00 PM  
what did helen keller do when she fell down the well?
she screamed her hands off.
Wasn't she blind?
And deaf


But it was the fact that she was mute that makes the joke funny ...
 
2005-07-08 03:53:34 PM  
Pollexabator: /laugh it up, you insensitive pricks


I'm fine with you calling me an insensitive prick, but I take issue with how you're flipping me the bird, you fingerless freak.
 
2005-07-08 03:54:05 PM  
what did helen keller do when she fell down the well?

she screamed her hands off.




Wasn't she blind?


All I know is "She sure played a mean Pin-BALL!"
 
2005-07-08 03:56:10 PM  
I take issue with how you're flipping me the bird, you fingerless freak.

Well met, good sir.

/c'mon 5 o'clock...
 
2005-07-08 03:58:56 PM  
Out of all the semi-funny crap in this thead this made me laugh so hard I pooped in my pants:

Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?

A: Because she was a woman.
 
2005-07-08 04:00:12 PM  
No no, it's:

What did Helen Keller do when she fell down a well?

She landed in the water and quickly drowned, since she was both unable to comprehend her situation and unable to call for help.


Oh. I guess that wasn't a very good joke.
 
2005-07-08 04:09:55 PM  
He says he wants to be a Docter? So whos job is it to tell him that Docters need two good working hands.
 
2005-07-08 04:11:06 PM  
Refreshing to see somebody in this type of situation thanking real people for helping with his recovery, instead of giving "The Lord" all of the credit and none of the blame.
 
2005-07-08 04:12:23 PM  
What if they made a mistake and put his hands where his feet should be? Or worse.

Insert funny surgeon joke here. (link NSFW)
 
2005-07-08 04:13:40 PM  
Q: Why did Hellen Keller's dog kill itself ?

A: You would too if your name was DAAEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRR.
 
2005-07-08 04:14:57 PM  
*while playing HORSE

Kid: reverse dunk, rip my hands and foot right off
*act ensues*
Friend: dude, thats hardcore, you win.
 
2005-07-08 04:18:18 PM  
2005-07-08 03:04:52 PM dly

how can you go though PUBERTY without a right hand...
**************************************************

1.shoe box
2.a nice piece of liver.
3.put liver in shoe box
4.cut hole in box
5.place box on bed
6.enjoy!


Hey! Get that thing away from me!
 
2005-07-08 04:19:02 PM  
best headline everrrrrrr
 
2005-07-08 04:21:45 PM  
The guttering severed his hands and his left foot. Surgeons re-attached his limbs, but his foot had to be amputated nine days later.

A limb would be an arm or a leg. The kid lost his hands and a foot. They did not re-attach a limb.

Besides which, they say nothing about reattaching the severed foot before the amputation. Does that mean they severed his other foot -- which was still attached -- and he's now without feet at all?

Do the reattached hands work? How well?

And what's "guttering," anyway?

That article's editor needs a new job.
 
2005-07-08 04:24:34 PM  
Gotta hand it to that kid. He has MOXY!
 
2005-07-08 04:25:02 PM  
A: Because she was a woman.

That, however, is beautiful.
 
2005-07-08 04:25:39 PM  
Sheesh, lots of mistakes for such a short article!
 
2005-07-08 04:29:45 PM  
Oh, that's funny, that's funny. Let me give you a "hand."

Why, that's awful kind of you. Why don't you give me a "standing ovation?"

Why don't you "lift me up?"

Ha, ok, I see where this is going. You look familiar to me. Were you in "STOMP"?

You can kiss my grits.

I think I'll be the bigger man, now, and walk away. "Walk" away.

/coupon for 1 free Denny's Grand Slam for who gets it.
 
2005-07-08 04:30:02 PM  
[image from geocities.com too old to be available]

Well, if it isn't my good friend Mr. McGreg! With a leg for an arm, and an arm for a leg!

/Proof that any thread can be Simpsonized
 
2005-07-08 04:37:53 PM  
Better not let Vince Carter read this story. He'll swear off dunking for good, being the delicate, precious flower that he is.
 
2005-07-08 04:37:53 PM  
2 things:
1: I'm a bit confused as to what sort of position you'd have to be in to have presumably a semi-sharp edge come down on your wrists and ankles. I would really like come clarification...

2: why could a freak accident involving amputation happen to Kobe Bryant... that whiny little punk deserves his come-uppins'.
 
2005-07-08 04:38:03 PM  
Still no cure for cancer...

No, really. The five-year survival rate has been barely inching up, but more importantly, rates of cancer are increasing (particularly among those under the age of 55) and a higher percentage of people overall are dying of cancer.

Re-attaching some kids hands and feet doesn't mean very much in the grand scheme of things when we are using 30-50 year old technology (chemo, radiation) to fight (the vast majority) of cancers.
 
2005-07-08 04:41:00 PM  
stemmerm:

Re-attaching some kids hands and feet doesn't mean very much in the grand scheme of things when we are using 30-50 year old technology (chemo, radiation) to fight (the vast majority) of cancers.


Sorry, I was busy looking up Simpsons' quotes. I'll get right on it, Tuesday soon enough for you?
 
2005-07-08 04:42:26 PM  
Yeah, well, what about the second verse? "If you're happy and you know it stomp your foot?"

Good headline submitter!
 
2005-07-08 04:43:01 PM  
after falling in the well couldnt she holler

WHAAAAAAAAAADA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAADAH
 
2005-07-08 04:44:12 PM  
Bummer... meant "couldn't"

That'll teach me to proof-read
 
2005-07-08 04:50:26 PM  
You really gotta hand it to those doctors....
(....to which Ms. Kensington says "okay, that's enough" and we leave the shark tank room)

This thread is hysterical. Just what I needed at the end of a Friday, even if it was a short week. Thanks, everyone.
 
2005-07-08 04:51:44 PM  
Satchel_Brown: /coupon for 1 free Denny's Grand Slam for who gets it.


wasn't that scary movie 3?
 
2005-07-08 04:53:06 PM  
Best Headline Ever? Maybe....

Bravo-frickin-vo submitter!
 
2005-07-08 05:05:17 PM  
Well if it isn't my old friend, Mr. McCraig, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.

I feel a very sorry for the kid. That's awful to have to deal with.
 
2005-07-08 05:15:10 PM  
/wanna be like Mike
 
2005-07-08 05:15:57 PM  
Terry says he is looking forward to going to parties, being back at school and says he wants to be a doctor when he grows up.

If he becomes a doctor, and you are his patient, you might want to skip the part of the exam where he sticks his cold metal hooks down your boxers and tells you to cough. I foresee a serious injury or "de-balling" taking place. RIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!!!

/all male readers currently crossing their legs
 
2005-07-08 05:20:03 PM  
img scr= "http://www.contentvulture.com/pictures/pc/20057817840.att973999:>
 
2005-07-08 05:20:29 PM  
The poor kid. There he was at a birthday party, having a good time and then has his hands and foot severed. Good lord.

I hate it when something happy turns horrible.
 
Displayed 50 of 119 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report