FARK.com: (1564049) Thieves steal fiberglass statue of Colonel Sanders. Reportedly holding him ransom for the secret herbs and spices

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(katc.com)		Thieves steal fiberglass statue of Colonel Sanders. Reportedly holding him ransom for the secret herbs and spices (katc.com)		57
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3220 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jul 2005 at 8:10 PM | Favorite | share:

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nbrfwhoooo		2005-07-07 04:10:26 PM

Wanted for questioning

/Obscure?
//This wasn't only a Maine phenomenon only, was it?

Eat The Placenta		2005-07-07 04:13:26 PM

the_gospel_of_thomas		2005-07-07 04:19:01 PM

Awesome job, nbrfwhoooo.

/curses, you meddling kid ....

missmez		2005-07-07 05:18:21 PM

"He puts a secret ingredient in it that makes you crave it fortnightly, SMARTASS."

InflatableJesus		2005-07-07 07:34:36 PM

Yo quiero la pierna del coronel.

HC Shannon		2005-07-07 08:14:31 PM

You know in Japan they have statues of him dressed as a samuri?

ybbor657		2005-07-07 08:16:03 PM

DistendedPendulusFrenulum		2005-07-07 08:16:14 PM

I'd hit it.

.

Laszlo Fark		2005-07-07 08:16:50 PM

Unavailable for comment.

Crown Of Negativity		2005-07-07 08:17:06 PM

After decades of "Colonel" you'd think he'd get promoted to "General". Or at least "Shift Manager".

skinink		2005-07-07 08:17:40 PM

Police have brought in a suspect for questioning:

gtman8503		2005-07-07 08:18:47 PM

Peter: Wait a second! Youre telling me I flew all the way to Kentucky to get some of your fried chicken, and the Colonel isnt even working today?!
Cashier: He aint away, he dead.
Peter: What?!
Cashier: I say he dead.
Peter: [Pause] Is Mr. Sanders in?
Cashier: What wrong with you? I say you he dead.
Peter: [Longer pause] The Colonel.

/Family Guy

UberNeuman		2005-07-07 08:19:05 PM

It's been reported that he's armed and finger lickin' good!

FrankTheTank		2005-07-07 08:19:24 PM

Police Chief Jim Christy Christy
lol

ender_kg		2005-07-07 08:19:33 PM

sorry if this is image overload...

BlockDude		2005-07-07 08:21:29 PM

The cononel will live forever.
In my heart...

Foaming		2005-07-07 08:21:36 PM

Those statues are friggin creepy.

Big_Sexy		2005-07-07 08:22:21 PM

Mtv briefly had a series about high school pranks a year or so ago. This exact story was the subject of one episode. Apparently the bolts on the Colonel's heiny were very standard and easily removed. Will they never learn to secure the mascot's ass?

Crown Of Negativity		2005-07-07 08:23:47 PM

BlockDude

The cononel will live forever.
In my heart...

So much so you may need a coronary arterial bypass graft. 'dem artery blockages are a biatch.

HarrisonBergeron		2005-07-07 08:24:12 PM

first st. anthony, now the colonel?

/next'll be big boy

OldManStoli		2005-07-07 08:27:14 PM

No eleven, just four. Flour, salt, pepper, and MSG. Seriously.

cryspi		2005-07-07 08:30:47 PM

Colonel Sanders is the patron saint of garden gnomes.

/St. Anthony of Padua is away from his post.

peachykeen		2005-07-07 08:33:02 PM

Definitely MSG because I'm slighlty allergic to it and I get that "MSG feeling" after I eat KFC

asmith993		2005-07-07 08:33:27 PM

HarrisonBergeron,

Actually, in Grand Rapids MI it was almost a semi-annual occurance for the Big Boy statue to be stolen. It'd always show up a few days later, now they have him in a fenced in area.

/escaped
//didn't think it was all that bad
///until I left

Crown Of Negativity		2005-07-07 08:36:06 PM

/not mine
//likes 'em extra crispy
///just like mom .... ... ...... ......
//// .... . .. . . .. used to make

LadyHawke		2005-07-07 08:37:29 PM

/threadjack

Anyone read the report on msn.com that Britney is expecting twins?

/end threadjack

No Such User		2005-07-07 08:39:40 PM

old news

very old news

Mr. Programmer		2005-07-07 08:40:43 PM

at least it wasnt a statue of the japanese colonel

pudding7		2005-07-07 08:43:38 PM

I walked into a KFC one time in Reno and there was a picture of The Colonel on the wall. The real dude, not just a painting or something.

I asked the kid behind the counter if The Colonel came in here often. This 17 year old kid says, in all seriousness, "The Colonel is dead, dude."

Not sure why I remember that.

arpwatch		2005-07-07 08:50:24 PM

nbrfwhoooo: //This wasn't only a Maine phenomenon only, was it?

No way, I uh, know someone who acquired all the ones around town here.

/Nowhere near Maine

AceFace		2005-07-07 08:50:51 PM

Had to pull this out--from Wikipedia entry on the Hanshin Tigers baseball team in Japan:

As with many other baseball teams, a curse is believed to lurk over the Tigers. After their 1985 Japan Series win, fans celebrated by having people who looked like Tigers players jump into the Dotonbori River. According to legend, because none of the fans resembled first baseman Randy Bass, fans grabbed a life-sized statue of Kentucky Fried Chicken mascot Colonel Sanders and threw it into the river (like Bass, the Colonel had a beard and was not Japanese). The statue was never recovered. The Tigers are therefore doomed to never win again until the Colonel is rescued from the river.
In 2003, when the Tigers returned to the Japan Series after 18 years with one of the worst records in the Central League, many KFC outlets in Kbe and saka moved their Colonel Sanders statues inside until the series was over to protect them from Tigers fans.

PersonTwo		2005-07-07 08:55:17 PM

Crown Of Negativity

Wes's rib house in RI had a slogan that read "If the Colonel had our recipe he'd be a General by now." Always loved that slogan.

royale_with_cheese		2005-07-07 08:59:23 PM

Are you Chicken, Col Sanders??

spaceballs anyone?

cykovisuals		2005-07-07 09:03:19 PM

If only they were farkers...

-----ELEVEN SECRET SPICES-----
1 tablespoon Rosemary
1 tablespoon Oregano leaves
1 tablespoon Powdered sage
1 teaspoon Powdered ginger
1 teaspoon Marjoram
1 1/2 teaspoons Thyme
3 tablespoons Packed brown sugar
3 tablespoons Dry minced parsely
1 teaspoon Pepper
1 tablespoon Paprika
2 tablespoons Garlic salt
2 tablespoons Onion salt
2 tablespoons Powder chicken bouillon*
1 package Lipton tomato cup-a-soup mix
* or 4 cubes mashed There are actually 11 spices in the above combination, but an additional 3 ingredients were necessary to derive that special flavor.

Hunter S. Farkson		2005-07-07 09:11:36 PM

Mr. Programmer		2005-07-07 09:12:43 PM

cykovisuals, does that really taste like kfc?

Biledriver		2005-07-07 09:17:10 PM

Colonel Sanders looks like a slave trader.

biggbossman		2005-07-07 09:23:47 PM

Go Kernel, go Kernal!!

danceswithcrows		2005-07-07 09:25:14 PM

OldManStoli: just four. Flour, salt, pepper, and MSG. Seriously.

This is probably true, according to William Poundstone's book Big Secrets. In the late 1980s, Poundstone obtained a sample of the KFC chicken-coating mixture by bribing a KFC employee with beer. He then sent the mixture to a food-analysis lab, and their report said that those 4 ingredients were the only ones present.

The original ingredients in the coating were probably closer to cykovisuals' list, but huge food chains don't want to use labor-intensive procedures involving lots of stuff. It's easier and cheaper for them to mix up simple things. Removing the other 7 ingredients probably saved KFC $1 million per year, after all.

Shadowspawn		2005-07-07 09:26:19 PM

it's not really a secret. it's the method in which they cook it.

or used to be, i had an uncle who was working his way through college as a kid and used to explain everything about it and brought home free chicken every friday. tubs of it.

a pressure-cooker deep-fat boiler.

no clue if they do it the same way, i was a kid when i learned about it. my dad and uncle tried to do something with a custom-fabricated pressure cooker deal and made pretty decent chicken, but as a kid anything fried is, well, fried and all tastes the same.

Skyjunk		2005-07-07 09:26:26 PM

kind of creepy. This one is in Palo Alto, CA.

PSlack		2005-07-07 09:26:48 PM

Suspect brought in for Questioning

sugarsmack		2005-07-07 09:38:58 PM

I can't believe no one has noted the "statue theft trifecta" is now in play.

One_Cent_Tenth_Spatula		2005-07-07 09:39:42 PM

Samuari Sanders to the rescue!

/really big pic
//has a new wallpaper

Tassach		2005-07-07 10:22:16 PM

This cop specializes in all food- and restaurant-related crimes.

sdtangler		2005-07-08 12:05:19 AM

"...and the Colonel, with his wee beady eyes..."

b1t r0t		2005-07-08 12:25:51 AM

Wanted for questioning.

Max Sandersroom?

/f-f-f-finger lickin' g-g-good

Monkey's Knuckle		2005-07-08 12:37:03 AM

Now, they take that big ol' Colonel into the trailer and make sweet, sweet finger-lickin' good love.

bofkentucky		2005-07-08 01:02:45 AM

Colonel "Anal" Angus is safe though, right

/Where's my Walken tag?

clichemoth		2005-07-08 02:19:51 AM

cykovisuals got that there recipe from that cookbook with all the knock-off recipes in it. The White Castle slider is also cloned in said book, with tasty results.

However, the KFC one doesn't work. . . Tastes more like Lee's Famous.

/Obscure?
//Has to be, I don't even think they exist anymore
///Any child of the 80s with cheap-ass Southern parents might get it.

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