If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Some Physicist)   Warning labels to be inserted into physics textbooks   (bringyou.to) divider line 312
    More: Amusing  
•       •       •

23362 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Jul 2005 at 9:35 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



312 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | » | Last | Show all
 
xip_80
2005-07-06 04:32:46 PM
Go for it.
 
Confabulat [TotalFark]
2005-07-06 04:36:31 PM
Not to mention all those "equations" are based on "mathematics", none of which can explain how Noah got all the world's animals on a boat, and is therefore suspect.
 
RichieXP
2005-07-06 04:37:00 PM
This had better be satire...
 
ejenkins1979
2005-07-06 04:37:54 PM
Check out my profile for some good physics based warnings....
 
exick [TotalFark]
2005-07-06 04:41:11 PM
This had better be satire...

Sadly, I'm fairly certain that it is not.
 
RichieXP
2005-07-06 04:44:14 PM
"This is not a theory suitable for children."

Or for people of similar intellect to the author, apparently.
 
ToeKnee666
2005-07-06 04:50:05 PM
Mathematics is, after all, a liberal art.
 
alcoholic_entropy
2005-07-06 04:50:36 PM
If anyone has the link to the Onion News article about 'banning evolution' because it's depressing, I'd love to see it and save it.
 
whatshisname
2005-07-06 04:52:42 PM
The author is responsible for the 1963 Supreme Court decision striking down the requiremnt for all public school students to read the Bible.

On November 26, 1956 Ellery staged a protest against the school requirement that each student read 10 Bible passages and the Lord's Prayer each day during homeroom. Instead, Ellery brought a copy of the Qur'an and read from that. For this, he was sent to the Principal's office. With the help of his father Edward Schempp and the American Civil Liberties Union, sued the Abington School district over their policy of mandatory Bible readings.

Over several years, Ellery, his father, and later his younger siblings Roger and Donna continued to fight this policy in the courts. The Schempps were Unitarian Universalists, who do not necessarily believe in the divinity of Jesus or agree with the Bible. The case was eventually settled in Ellery's favor by the Supreme Court in 1963, five years after he had graduated from high school.

from:http://www.dictionaryofeverything.com/explore/663/Ellery_Schempp.html
 
zorgon
2005-07-06 04:55:13 PM
This is a well-known satire. However it was more or less intended to be taken seriously by certain elements (who would then embarrass themselves). There have been a number of pranks like this, most notably the time where Alan Sokal of NYU punked the postmodern-theory-gibberish journal Social Text.
 
mbrother
2005-07-06 04:56:01 PM
Fuzzy math! Fuzzy math!
 
Tiga [TotalFark]
2005-07-06 05:11:52 PM
I read that as "psycho" textbooks. Those SHOULD have a warning, as far as I'm concerned.
 
onecanshort [TotalFark]
2005-07-06 05:31:53 PM
I love these, Scientific American had a great editorial on April Fool's Day this year. Okay, We give Up - We're so Ashamed
 
Translocation
2005-07-06 05:37:26 PM
I really thought I was reading satire... but it isn't.

This web site is about helping people know more about the Catholic Church. For non-believers, this site makes a strong case for theism, and Christianity in general. It shows that God is transcendent and immanent and revealed Himself in Jesus Christ. We are always looking for good writings in defense of theism, especially Christian theism and those articles shall be included in our Philosophy or Apologetics sections. The bringyou.to domain is ranked high at Google/Yahoo (thanks be to God), so your articles will get good exposure.
 
fatlilbug
2005-07-06 08:06:15 PM
This is pretty neat. It clearly is written and intended as a satire (see the part italicized below)--but the site's owner seems to not realize it!

It is safe to say that without the Theory of Gravity, there would be no talk about a Big Bang, and important limitations in such sports as basketball would be lifted. This would greatly benefit the games and enhance revenue as is proper in a faith-based, free-enterprise society.

The theory of gravity violates common sense in many ways. Adherents have a hard time explaining, for instance, why airplanes do not fall. Since anti-gravity is rejected by the scientific establishment, they resort to lots of hand-waving. The theory, if taken seriously, implies that the default position for all airplanes is on the ground. While this is obviously true for Northwest airplanes (relying on A Wing and a Prayer), it appears that Jet Blue and Southwest have a superior theory that effectively harnesses forces that overcome so-called gravity.

As far as I can tell from the rest of the site, the site maintainer doesn't even realize he's posted an article written as satire in opposition to gravity.


BTW I was hoping the kind of warnings the physics textbook would include, would be warnings about getting too much plutonium together and reaching critical mass, and accidentally nuking your city. Or about the dangers inherent in building an amateur railgun. Cool stuff that would get kids interested.
 
Confabulat [TotalFark]
2005-07-06 08:31:19 PM
fatlilbug:

As far as I can tell from the rest of the site, the site maintainer doesn't even realize he's posted an article written as satire in opposition to gravity.

That explains it. I was bumfoozled for a bit there.
 
Quick1
2005-07-06 09:06:46 PM
Tiga: I read that as "psycho" textbooks. Those SHOULD have a warning, as far as I'm concerned.

If only psycho women had a warning label, also.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2005-07-06 09:22:58 PM
Though it is neither serious nor amusing, the linked article accidentally bumps its head against a valid point. Just a few minutes ago I was reading Science magazine's list of 125 great unsolved problems in science. More than one of them involved the mystery of gravity. We have a set of equations that appears to describe gravity, but we don't understand how gravity works or how it fits together with the rest of the universe. Hawking once said about the science-religion distinction, science can explain how the universe works, but not why. At some level any scientific theory boils down to "because God said so." We seem to be farther away from that point with gravity. The speculations of string theory, long on faith and short on testable predictions, might as well be religious proclamations.
 
BillyGoatGruff
2005-07-06 09:40:14 PM
hey I know this is off topic, but when did they get rid of the ability to search through the farkives? :-\
 
Negative 3
2005-07-06 09:40:57 PM
check out the author's bio: http://www.dictionaryofeverything.com/explore/663/Ellery_Schempp.html

that confirms this is total satire, as the author is apparently a brilliant physicist.
 
skinink
2005-07-06 09:41:39 PM

Textbook warning on Male Sexuality:


"Some images of male organs may be larger than they appear to be."
 
D3_WR
2005-07-06 09:43:19 PM
I love to see creationists/non-believers in evolution sputter and make up bullshiat when they say "it's only a theory" and respond with "so's gravity"
 
QuietSound
2005-07-06 09:43:59 PM
My first approved link. And approved within a few hours at that.
 
RoachAC
2005-07-06 09:45:01 PM


Dude, I so want this blown up to poster size to go on a wall in my classroom.
 
fatlilbug
2005-07-06 09:45:27 PM
ZAZ:

At some level any scientific theory boils down to "because God said so." We seem to be farther away from that point with gravity. The speculations of string theory, long on faith and short on testable predictions, might as well be religious proclamations.

*sigh* No.

Science describes what is actually observed to be true in the universe, not why we imagine God did whatever, or why we should think or do certain things. Religion describes things that we've never seen, that fly in the face of observed reality, that you're expected to believe on faith.

Science tells you what you can expect to happen in a future situation, based on what has been observed already, and it is extremely reliable. The controversial parts of religion tell you what will happen in an imagined future situation (heaven) which will only be relevant in a hoped-for afterlife.
 
loraksus
2005-07-06 09:45:33 PM
No post from Bevets yet?
Awesome article, although, to be fair, it looks like the author just grabbed something that Bevets would not approve of and just changed a couple words.
 
good ole flopp
2005-07-06 09:46:15 PM
too bad you never see warnings like that in religious texts
 
fintler
2005-07-06 09:46:20 PM
whew...good thing this is satire, you guys saved me some time in explaining why einstein's theory doesn't follow the second law of thermodynamics in gr to discredit the first major argument in this thing :D
 
Donald_McRonald
2005-07-06 09:47:37 PM
loraksus: No post from Bevets yet?

All farkers must be made aware that gravity is an atheist fairy tale.
 
emagery
2005-07-06 09:48:56 PM
The existence of tides is often taken as a proof of gravity, but this is logically flawed. Because if the moon's gravity were responsible for a bulge underneath it, then how can anyone explain a high tide on the opposite side of the earth at the same time? Anyone can observe that there are 2 -- not 1 -- high tides every day.

Sigh....

how obtuse.
 
PopeDX
2005-07-06 09:50:33 PM
Farking God, holding us down.
 
Negative 3
2005-07-06 09:50:48 PM
while riding the metro to watch the fireworks in DC monday morning, I overheard this (paraphrasing): in the creation story, it said god made plants and animals and the planet first, and then the stars and sun, so that means photosynthesis is a load of crap.

I shudder to think my children might go to school with people like this one day.
 
irwhiteboi
2005-07-06 09:51:16 PM
As a Phyicist myself, LOL
 
crazyjim
2005-07-06 09:52:16 PM
That's an awesome joke. They should go further.

As Gravity is only a theory, we believe it may run out at any time, or even reversing, catapulting everyone into space. As a precaution, we recommend parking your car in a garage or chaining it to the ground when not in use. Remember to keep all dogs on a leash so it can act as a tether. The loss of oxygen to space will kill us all, but if the loss of gravity is only temporary, the ensuing fall will be deadly... Unless of course gravity reverses itself just before you hit the ground so you don't die, but if you keep getting yo-yoed in the air, then maybe it'd be pretty fun.
 
cloudnin
2005-07-06 09:53:36 PM
From the February 2005 issue of Scientific American:

Sticker Shock by Steve Mirsky
 
fintler
2005-07-06 09:54:42 PM
How many general relativists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One holds the bulb, while the other rotates the universe.

/meh, I'd hit it
 
CarpeScrotum
2005-07-06 09:55:12 PM
I want some of whatever this guy is smoking.
 
emagery
2005-07-06 09:55:21 PM
yeah, it literally looks like he went after every 'odd' effect of gravity that IS demonstratable and provable, but not necessarily intuitive (opposition tides, plantary rings, etc) ... i feel better.
 
monkeyfetusjuice
2005-07-06 09:56:49 PM
mmmm.... fuzzy math
divide for me you freak
oh yes!! YES!!
 
usr
2005-07-06 09:57:32 PM
Despite Einstein being one of the more prolific physicist of the 20th century, his contributions to internet slang were minimal, or so we thought. The photographic evidence of Prof. Einstein writing the word 'LOL' clearly demonstrates that this field was not untouched by his brilliance.
 
loraksus
2005-07-06 09:57:59 PM
2005-07-06 09:47:37 PM Donald_McRonald
loraksus: No post from Bevets yet?
All farkers must be made aware that gravity is an atheist fairy tale.

And a COMMUNIST one at that.
Note to people who didn't think this was satire. If people start ranting about how x theory is communist, they are either a farking crackpot or the article is satire. Of course, if your bullshiat meter didn't start going off by the end of the first paragraph, you probably went to a public school in Kansas.
 
meatman
2005-07-06 09:58:02 PM
Physics - In highschool, our teacher had some kind of chemical that would show how much energy is stored in a single M&M. And taught us how fast we would fall at the meter/second/second if we jumped from somewhere, until terminal velocity was reached... I understood all that...

Now, math on the other hand, when they started adding in *imaginary* numbers, I was like WTF are those? Some douche didn't have an answer so he just created something...

But, I have realised the errors of my way... How the hell else could we "throw" a dishwasher at half of Manhatten at a distance of 83 million miles, and hit the friggin thing?

/used to believe it was all BS, now I am putting on my foil hat
 
OriginalGamer
2005-07-06 09:58:30 PM

"Where is your god now? Where is your mercifull little c*ck sucker?"
 
mcostas
2005-07-06 10:00:08 PM
 
zolividor
2005-07-06 10:00:09 PM
ROFLicopter!!!!

These teaser stories slay me! Now it's time for whackjobs to start referring to it to support thier ill-conceived dogmas.
 
theeagle
2005-07-06 10:00:39 PM
and should the bible be in the fiction or non-fiction section.

then again,,the jehova wittness's bible only allows 200,000 of them to get in to heaven. they have already exceeded that. so where do the rest go?

according to ned flanders,,cavemen did not exist.

and the earth is only 6,000 years old...

without gravity,,,you'd bump your head on the planes in the sky.

if you don't believe in gravity,, then you should be able to walk on water or cross a gully without a bridge.
 
mageform
2005-07-06 10:01:14 PM
The Bible Warning Label:

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/108543.html
 
St.Alfonzo
2005-07-06 10:02:53 PM
That was a thing of beauty.
 
Mouse-Pin_Dropping
2005-07-06 10:03:36 PM
Well, the Catholic Church burned Galileo for being a scientist.


Oh, wait...that was Giordano Bruno.
 
usr
2005-07-06 10:04:03 PM
Some douche didn't have an answer so he just created something...

That douche happens to be my great-great-great-great-great grandfather!
 
Displayed 50 of 312 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | » | Last | Show all


Redisplay/refresh comments

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Report
Report
From the Fark Shop:
More from the Fark Shop » 
Report