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(Some Guy)   Start a food fight in jail and you get prison loaf. Just like momma used to make   (kobtv.com) divider line 61
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7403 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jul 2005 at 3:44 PM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2005-07-02 03:48:46 PM
rofl. those crazy mexicans in clovis and their food throwing..
 
2005-07-02 03:49:51 PM
Come over here and eat mommy's prison loaf, biatch.
 
2005-07-02 03:52:48 PM
But the mother of an inmate, Janie Pena, says prison loaf is not an appropriate punishment.

She says even dogs deserve better than prison loaf.


My dog has never been caught in the act of burglary or prostitute solicitation. Heh.. but if I could teach him how to do it, I would.
 
2005-07-02 03:53:31 PM
It would be neat if they would grind up the offending prisoner and make a loaf out of him. Mmmmmmmm...prisoner loaf.
 
2005-07-02 03:54:21 PM
Alright. CNN ran a story last week about this new product that has been developed for our prison system. It is called "Confinement Loaf." Now what it is it's, uh, bean by-products compressed into a loaf, which is administered to problem prisoners. Their diet will be a slice of "Confinement Loaf" and a cup of water, and it seems to mellow them out right away. So my question is: How long before "Confinement Loaf" appears in United States High Schools?

-Frank Zappa
 
2005-07-02 03:54:23 PM
Its a jail, not club med.

If they want to throw their food around perhaps they weren't really that hungry after all.

Give them nothing for a few days in isolation. See how much food they throw when they get back.

Prison loaf...geez.
 
2005-07-02 03:55:19 PM
Bubba's feelin' sadistic today. He gonna pinch a prison loaf on yo' face.
 
2005-07-02 03:55:27 PM
She says even dogs deserve better than prison loaf.

Biatch hates dogs huh? I hope one bites her legs off!
 
2005-07-02 03:55:30 PM
In my state it's called "nutri-loaf." I hear that it tastes like ass but is perfectly nutritionally balanced. The courts have ruled that it's permissible to feed it to inmates.
 
2005-07-02 03:56:57 PM
[I]Inmates who misbehave at the Curry County jail may have to pay with their palates under a new punishment known as prison loaf.[/I]
They'll make the poor inmates do palates??
 
2005-07-02 03:57:15 PM
There are starving children in Africa. That mother better tell her son to finish his prison loaf
 
2005-07-02 03:59:33 PM
Cruel prison treatment trifecta in play?
 
2005-07-02 03:59:36 PM
Durendal

Thanks, still laughing..
 
2005-07-02 04:00:22 PM
tbyte

preview before post is your friend!
 
2005-07-02 04:00:57 PM
Don't bring a loaf to a prison fight.

/nuthin
 
2005-07-02 04:03:52 PM
allow me to be the first to say eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
 
2005-07-02 04:04:23 PM


Prison loaf
 
2005-07-02 04:04:43 PM

Prison loaf a.k.a. Special Management Meal
Gross
 
2005-07-02 04:05:09 PM
Where I'm from (northern virginia) the Fairfax County Adult Dentention center has been doing this for years.

Here it's simply referred to as "the loaf"

They take everything in the kitchen and put it into a blender and serve it.

You only eat it if you are put in solitary or "disciplinary segregation"

Up until now I'm pretty sure Fairfax County was the only place that even punished inmates with food.

/never ate it, thank god
//If you're from Fairfax County google "Fairfax Underground"
 
2005-07-02 04:05:09 PM
"But the mother of an inmate, Janie Pena, says prison loaf is not an appropriate punishment.

She says even dogs deserve better than prison loaf."


Hmmm... can't seem to remember the last time I saw dogs throwing food at each other to deserve such a punishment...

They tend to have more sense than that...
 
2005-07-02 04:06:00 PM
prison loaf. It sounds tastier than say Grade F meat, which is stamped on the side "Not Fit For Prison Consumption" but obviously fit for military personnel out to sea. And it's way better than Yakisoba or condenser casserole every other day:|
 
2005-07-02 04:06:00 PM
Let's get cooking!
Special Management Meal
Yield - Three Loaves

6 slices whole wheat bread, finely chopped
4 ounces imitation cheddar cheese, finely grated
4 ounces raw carrots, finely grated
12 ounces spinach, canned, drained
2 cups dried Great Northern Beans, soaked,
cooked and drained
4 tablespoons vegetable oil
6 ounces potato flakes, dehydrated
6 ounces tomato paste
8 ounces powdered skim milk
4 ounces raisins

Mix all ingredients in a 12-quart mixing bowl. Make sure all wet items are drained. Mix until stiff, just moist enough to spread. Form three loaves in glazed bread pans. Place loaf pans in the oven on a sheet pan filled with water, to keep the bottom of the loaves from burning. Bake at 325 degrees in a convection oven for approximately 45 minutes. The loaf will start to pull away from the sides of the bread pan when done.
 
2005-07-02 04:07:08 PM
I think they should serve Courtney Loaf.

 
2005-07-02 04:08:36 PM
"even dogs deserve better than prison loaf"....

Actually, dogs would eat it, because they work on the principle that it MIGHT be food. If it's not, they can always yak it up on the carpet or furniture as soon as you turn around.....
 
2005-07-02 04:15:52 PM
Frank Zappa, huh? I THOUGHT I had heard this story somewhere before.

They don't like prison loaf? Then they should feel fortunate that prison loaf is not the default prison fare, but rather special punishment fare--modern day "bread and water" that won't give you malnutrition.

Waste the prison food service's good food by throwing it around, get the chow-brick. Simple, really.

Since she wants to use dogs as a baseline, next time her son makes an ass of himself, I say feed him some good old fashioned Kibbles n Bits. Gravy Train on Sundays. Hell, most of the worst prisoners like to imagine themselves to be dogs, anyway.

And where was mother when her son was out committing crimes, then getting involved in food fights in the pen? Who knows?
 
2005-07-02 04:17:38 PM
DrForrester:

Now what it is it's, uh, bean by-products compressed into a loaf, which is administered to problem prisoners.

Evidently, if you eat too much "confinement loaf", you may give up your right to remain silent...
 
2005-07-02 04:22:19 PM
Am I the only person who thought "prison loaf" referred to what they'd be forced to endure in the shower by food fight targets?
 
2005-07-02 04:22:30 PM
Eh. Next special management meal for the complainers:

Baked beans with extra garlic. Broccoli with cheese, and steamed asparagus.

Ishidan, they don't deserve that kind of gourmet chow, what the hell are you doing?

Ah, now the punishment part. A night in solitary, with the air circulators powered down.
 
2005-07-02 04:25:37 PM
Uh, do they literally make the prisoners eat it (like "eat or we'll make you eat, boy") or is it the only thing they get (like "eat it or don't - we don't give a shiat but you're not getting anything else")?

If it's the latter, than boo-farking-hoo.
 
2005-07-02 04:27:53 PM
I hope they institute this at Gitmo.
 
2005-07-02 04:31:10 PM
dang, if the recipe had fewer ingredients, i'd probably make it for my kids.....
 
2005-07-02 04:33:14 PM
Oooohh! Recipes! I'm all over this.

Your Mama's Meatloaf:

INGREDIENTS:

1 pound lean ground beef
2/3 cup milk
1/2 cup cracker crumbs
1/4 cup ketchup
1/2 cup finely chopped onion
1 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon black pepper
1 egg, beaten
PREPARATION:

Mix all ingredients together gently. Form into a loaf and place in baking dish or loaf pan. Top with more ketchup if desired. Bake at 350 for about 1 hour.
Serves 4.
 
2005-07-02 04:35:49 PM
And _that's_the_way_the_cookie_crumbles
Uh, do they literally make the prisoners eat it (like "eat or we'll make you eat, boy") or is it the only thing they get (like "eat it or don't - we don't give a shiat but you're not getting anything else")?

For prisoners who throw their food, at least in the PA State Correctional Institutes, they get a loaf instead of a regular meal. They can eat it, or leave it - no one's forcing it down them. Some inmates choose to continue throwing food by throwing the loaf, but it's easier to clean up. And they simply earn themselves more days on the loaf for continuing to throw food.
 
2005-07-02 04:40:23 PM
Frank Zappa in 1988

FZ: Alright. CNN ran a story last week about this new product that has been developed for our prison system. It is called "Confinement Loaf." Now what it is it's, uh, bean by-products compressed into a loaf, which is administered to problem prisoners. Their diet will be a slice of "Confinement Loaf" and a cup of water, and it seems to mellow them out right away. So my question is: How long before "Confinement Loaf" appears in United States High Schools?
 
2005-07-02 04:45:45 PM
DrForrester:

CNN ran a story last week about this new product that has been developed for our prison system.


WTF- New? This has been around the California corrections system for many years; it's also known as "juke balls" and is served with a side of water for dipping since a juke ball is the consistency of a croquet ball.

/worked in the system, not a guest of the system
 
2005-07-02 04:49:16 PM
rmoody

Uh, yeah...

sicko.
 
2005-07-02 04:51:39 PM
But do you get a nice glass of pruno to help wash the loaf down?
 
2005-07-02 05:01:51 PM
HappyDaddy:

In my state it's called "nutri-loaf." I hear that it tastes like ass but is perfectly nutritionally balanced. The courts have ruled that it's permissible to feed it to inmates.


There was a county jail in Mississippi that fed nutriloaf as the standard inmate meal for a while. You got nothing BUT nutriloaf and water the entire time you were there. The prisoner's stories in the paper were hilarious. Big drop in recidivism in the county, though. I think one of them said "I'll never commit another crime in THIS county!".

The newsies ate some. Most hated it, a couple liked it, the comment was "It tastes like wet newspaper, no bad flavor, just no flavor at all"
 
2005-07-02 05:11:47 PM
erewhon: just no flavor at all

Hey I could handle that!
 
2005-07-02 05:16:24 PM
mistergecko: Hey I could handle that!


I seriously want some Purina 'people chow'. Scoop out the right amount for your size, and it has 100% of the RDA of every vitamin and mineral. Just nosh through it during the day. No cooking, no cleaning, no shopping.
 
2005-07-02 05:25:00 PM
I don't understand, wouldn't tasers be much easier than this? Someone starts to throw food, TASE! A bunch more tasers at the ready, ain't nobody throwin' more food.
 
2005-07-02 05:27:15 PM
Not only does it look like something that my mom would make, it also looks like something that my hub would probably eat.

As long as it's nutritionally sound...hey...at least it's not soylent green
 
2005-07-02 05:34:21 PM
Shinde:

For prisoners who throw their food, at least in the PA State Correctional Institutes, they get a loaf instead of a regular meal. They can eat it, or leave it - no one's forcing it down them. Some inmates choose to continue throwing food by throwing the loaf, but it's easier to clean up. And they simply earn themselves more days on the loaf for continuing to throw food.

Thanks for clearing that up. I really have no problem with it then. As long as the loaf is edible and nutritious enough to survive on it's the inmates problem.

Literally forcing it down their throats is a different story (that I would most definitely have a problem with). But this is just like punishing a small child: the kid screws up, you take the toys. If the kid insists on misbehaving, you explain yourself and keep the toys until you see a change in behaviour. Adults don't throw food. If an inmate acts like a child, he should expect to treated like a one. It's that simple.
 
2005-07-02 06:18:15 PM

/unavailable for comment
 
2005-07-02 06:18:30 PM
grytpype-thynne: obviously you don't read the thread before you post, as DrForrester beat you with the same quote by about 48 minutes.
 
2005-07-02 06:45:44 PM
Anybody else remember when Beecher pinched off a prison loaf into Schillinger's mouth?

/grody to the max
 
2005-07-02 06:53:59 PM
I just love the term "Prison Loaf" - It sounds like it COULD be dirty, or it COULD be a number of other things. I, for one, am going to try incorporating "prison loaf" into my daily conversations.
 
2005-07-02 07:44:06 PM
"I, for one, am going to try incorporating "prison loaf" into my daily conversations."

Well I, for one, welcome our new food throwing ex-convict overlords.
 
2005-07-02 09:04:26 PM
Start a food fight in jail and you get prison loaf. Just like momma used to make

BAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW!

 
2005-07-02 09:14:38 PM
well.. it is Curry County jail. How about Curried Prison Loaf? mmm Masaman
 
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