FARK.com: (1554489) Note to self: Not all waitresses smoke pot. Do not leave as tip

If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Jacksonville.com)		Note to self: Not all waitresses smoke pot. Do not leave as tip (jacksonville.com)		190
		More: Florida

• • •

14082 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jun 2005 at 1:56 PM | Favorite | share:

Share this link:

URL:

http://fark.com/go/1554489

Bookmark:

Article Comments close

190 Comments (+0 »)

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all

DeanMoriarty		2005-06-30 03:19:05 PM

szmike

Think any major franchise like Starbucks would let you keep the franchise if you tolerated criminal behavior?

Like, I dunno, leaving controlled substances on the premises?

It's. Only. Pot. It's not a toxic substance. It is not responsible for hundreds of thousands of deaths like tobacco, which by the way is smoked freely and heavily outside any given Starbucks. It was a weed, that grows naturally, that the waitress could have swept up and thrown away.

Replace with "It's illegal", and maybe you'll get the point of the whole story.

You're only reinforcing what I said. Dude could have jeopardized her job, attracted negative attention to the franchisee from the parent company with possible repurcussions, caused negative perception about the store from other customers present, not to mention the obscure possibility that a cop could have walked in, assumed it was the server's and charged her, all because of idiotic action on behalf of the customer, and your response is:

It's. Only. Pot.

You're the poster boy for my argument.

therecksays		2005-06-30 03:20:45 PM

Starbucks have waitresses?

hopscotch		2005-06-30 03:21:16 PM

'Now you tell me'!

Most waitress's I know, save their tips to buy pot.

He was just trying to save her a step.

(That was wasted--too bad).

I don't go in Strarbucks anyway--("I'm not trying to stop dinking liquor").

ToxicVodka		2005-06-30 03:21:24 PM

Wait. I thought smoking pot made you all happy and non-violent.

m053486		2005-06-30 03:22:47 PM

Zeno Wahoo:Based on this thread, and the event of the article, I have a Caddyshack line in my head. Can anyone guess which line? hint: it is troll-enduced....

Of COURSE it's good...

/off to work, tip your waiters
//wishes I didn't work fine dining and might also get the occasional nug
///though the money's better than stripping
////never tried stripping
/////don't hate

davidsmi		2005-06-30 03:23:53 PM

I don't know. Pot seems like a pretty dangerous drug to me. I think we should spend millions in taxpayer money on preventing guys from leaving it as tips. Then we should spend tens of millions more on building prisons so that we can house the 700,000 a year or so that are busted for pot each year. Then we should add 100s of millions in the form of military assistance to really nice south american right wing militia's, er, governments so that they can spray their own people with herbicides to preven them from growing the stuff.

DeanMoriarty		2005-06-30 03:24:34 PM

Then why did you mention that DVDs are not addictive, if not to imply pot was addictive?

If you can explain that, I'll concede you never said it was addictive.

To show that my problem with this story has nothing to do with pot itself, and to show that I'd feel the same way if it was priated DVDs instead of pot.

Meshman inferred that i thought it was dangerous or addictive. I said I'd feel the same about pirated DVDs, which aren't addictive, so the idea of addiction is irrelevant.

unless you use BitTorrent.

DeanMoriarty		2005-06-30 03:27:18 PM

Multi-Vitamin

Yeah, I'm positive Starbucks will now crumble under the weight of militant pot-smokers who will form a mass boycott to protest their inability to leave pot as tips.

davidsmi

Couldn't agree with you more.

(the implied meaning, not the literal words.)

hamas_and_peta		2005-06-30 03:33:17 PM

Who gives a shiate about the law? If we followed every pointless law all day, surrendering all autonomy to a bunch of people stupider than us, we might as well live in communist china. This girl is lame. A party pooper. No fun. A slave to conformity.

annie_fannie		2005-06-30 03:33:44 PM

uh yeah, can we get off the pot smokers rights flamewar and back on the racism flamewar? or maybe we could find a way to combine the two? i don't know...just throwing out suggestions to spice things up a bit.

MWeather		2005-06-30 03:35:41 PM

annie_fannie:

uh yeah, can we get off the pot smokers rights flamewar and back on the racism flamewar? or maybe we could find a way to combine the two?

How about this: Most drug users are white, most drug prisoners aren't.

szmike		2005-06-30 03:36:57 PM

DeanMoriarty

szmike

Think any major franchise like Starbucks would let you keep the franchise if you tolerated criminal behavior?

If I allowed people blaze up, or let the waitresses accept pot as tips, no. If the Starbucks franchise is telling me that I need to call the cops on any person I see holding, regardless of whether or not he is disrupting the business or bothering the other customers, I wouldn't want that job anyway.

Like, I dunno, leaving controlled substances on the premises?

I file that under "stupid" not "criminal". I would throw it away. I would also throw the person out if he came back in. I would not, would never, call the cops for something like that. Heroin, yes. Pot, never. It's. Only. Pot.

It's. Only. Pot. It's not a toxic substance. It is not responsible for hundreds of thousands of deaths like tobacco, which by the way is smoked freely and heavily outside any given Starbucks. It was a weed, that grows naturally, that the waitress could have swept up and thrown away.

Replace with "It's illegal",

So is a pirating movies. I wouldn't call the cops if I saw somebody watching a P2P version of Batman Begins on their laptop.

and maybe you'll get the point of the whole story.

I never said I didn't get your "point". I just think it's a petty, intolerant "point".

You're only reinforcing what I said. Dude could have jeopardized her job, attracted negative attention to the franchisee from the parent company with possible repurcussions, caused negative perception about the store from other customers present,

That's where I would sweep the pot up. Throw it away. And explain to the other customers that some people are just jerks. Unless they're like you, they won't spend ten seconds thinking about it.

not to mention the obscure possibility that a cop could have walked in, assumed it was the server's and charged her,

There's another one of those "you ruined my keyboard" statements again. Let me lay the way the scenario out the way it would play in real life.

Cop: Ma'am. I believe that is marijuana on that table.
Barista: So it is. Some jerk must have left that.
Cop: I believe it is yours.
Barista: Prove it.

End of conversation.

all because of idiotic action on behalf of the customer, and your response is:

It's. Only. Pot.

And in my hypothetical Starbucks franchise, I'll be glad that vast majority of my customers aren't as uptight as you.

You're the poster boy for my argument.

Use my left profile. That's my good side.

DeanMoriarty		2005-06-30 03:38:27 PM

annie_fannie

I'm amazed there aren't more of the "I don't tip, pay your own goddamned staff" types. They usually flock to these discussions.

I don't think it's been possible to have a race-related pot flame war since Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.

Afroman kinda ruined it for everyone.

boom		2005-06-30 03:43:23 PM

chechcal

How many other people were able to do the insta-calculation and say "17 grams, just over four eighths, about a half oz.

OOhh I did! I did! What did I win?

Ok I can get not wanting pot as a tip, but why not just throw it away? Calling the cops ain't right.

DeanMoriarty		2005-06-30 03:46:10 PM

I just think it's a petty, intolerant "point".

Actually, it's petty and intolerant to think anyone should be allowed to get away with anything just because it was pot. It's insensitive to other people, to the business owner, and the customers.

The best argument for pot use is "who cares what I do to myself as long as it doesn't affect others?"

You, however, are rationalizing the entire scenario, purposely ignoring that it DID affect others - just because it's pot.

In your hypothetical Starbucks franchise, you'll end up broke, possibly robbed, and out of business because you let people use your place of business like it was their living room.

But hey, who cares about everyone else, as long as you can get buzzed, right?

Rafe		2005-06-30 03:49:51 PM

DeanMoriarty:

To summarize the thread...

If you ever feel like you're being threatened or set up or someone is doing illegal, you should contact the authorities.

Unless it's pot, in which case, you should just chilllllllllll, duuuuuude, 'cuz it's not cool to rat out a smoker to the pigs, even if he's stupid enough to put an illegal substance in your possession without your consent.

The fact that you have framed your arguments based on this rather tenuous "summary" (I don't see anyone saying "report this kind of behaviour UNLESS IT INVOLVES POT"), leads me to disregard pretty much anything you have to say on the issue.

Just make sure you don't get your hall monitor sash caught in any revolving doors, you self-righteous blowhard.

Rafe		2005-06-30 03:52:24 PM

DeanMoriarty:

In your hypothetical Starbucks franchise, you'll end up broke, possibly robbed, and out of business because you let people use your place of business like it was their living room.

Wow, someone needs a tinfoil hat fitting, stat!!

I've got a tip for you.......

leitmotive		2005-06-30 03:55:59 PM

Anyone else find it interesting that a half this guy had in a box (?) in his hand (?) just fell out in the tussle? I've known my fair share of smokers, but none of them was dumb enough to carry a half on them into Starbucks, especially in-hand.

Oh, and someone asked earlier about rolling papers. As far as I know, the logic is thus: They're sold as (tobacco) cigarette papers. If you use them in a manner contrary to their intended purpose, it doesn't matter what they're intended for, but rather what you're using them for. Same deal with pipes, I believe. Smoke tobacco, salvia or anything else legal out of it and it's not paraphernalia. But as soon as you load it up with illegal stuff, it becomes paraphernalia.

/not a lawyer

szmike		2005-06-30 04:00:10 PM

DeanMoriarty

Actually, it's petty and intolerant to think anyone should be allowed to get away with anything just because it was pot. It's insensitive to other people, to the business owner, and the customers.

"Anything"? Reread the part where I said I would not allow people to blaze up or for the waitress to accept the pot as a tip. Is leaving pot insensitive to others? Perhaps, but I won't waste a cops time on insensitivity. I just won't let the customer come back.

The best argument for pot use is "who cares what I do to myself as long as it doesn't affect others?"

You, however, are rationalizing the entire scenario, purposely ignoring that it DID affect others - just because it's pot.

Affect others, how? I guess so in the sense that for a minute or two, a tiny pile of marijuana was in the line of sight of a handful of people. There may be a couple of people so offended by that they wouldn't return. However, there would also be a couple so outraged if I called the cops that that would keep them from coming back. You can't please everybody, can you?

In your hypothetical Starbucks franchise, you'll end up broke, possibly robbed, and out of business because you let people use your place of business like it was their living room.

Okay, this has officially gotten old. Not calling cops because some idiot left a tiny amount of pot=letting people use it like their living room and therefore turning the family franchise into a den of iniquity. I said in the previous post that I wouldn't tolerate blazing in the place, which is what you are acting is the equivalent as to what actually happened.

But hey, who cares about everyone else, as long as you can get buzzed, right?

Since I never once said that I smoked it, your strawman argument is specious and banal.

You bore me, sir. I bid you good day.

DeanMoriarty		2005-06-30 04:00:50 PM

I don't see anyone saying "report this kind of behaviour UNLESS IT INVOLVES POT

Hands up, everyone who thinks she should have just thrown it away and ignored it if it was
-crack
-a gun
-a hit list
-a needle
-etc.

thought so.

Now, read through again at the lovely adjectives:

Prude. Dipshiat. Ungrateful ho! biatch. Uncool. Fugly.

Yeah, go ahead and believe this isn't a pot-centric story.

Rafe, it's not tinfoil-hat stuff. It's common courtesy combined with the realities of Restaurant Management 101.

Not everything in the world is as it appears on Corner Gas.

graikor		2005-06-30 04:04:22 PM

Your login name is DeanMoriarty, and you're going off on a non-sensical anti-drug tirade?

Sal would be so disappointed in you right now...

howdoibegin		2005-06-30 04:05:07 PM

>DeanMoriarty

I'm trying to follow your line of thinking, but your arguments do not hold water. Please advise.

justanotherfarkinfarker		2005-06-30 04:08:52 PM

Bullshiat. Every server & bartender under 30 that I've ever known and I've been good friends with quite a few, smoked. And a chick who works at a coffee place, she smokes, how else would you sleep after all that coffee. So she is just being a biatch.
This may seem kind of Mr. Pinkish, but I don't tip coffee people. I can pour my own or make an espresso, and it is not much effort. Heck even sandwich people at the deli do more than you, I'll occasionally tip them.

DeanMoriarty		2005-06-30 04:10:18 PM

Okay, this has officially gotten old. Not calling cops because some idiot left a tiny amount of pot=letting people use it like their living room and therefore turning the family franchise into a den of iniquity. I said in the previous post that I wouldn't tolerate blazing in the place, which is what you are acting is the equivalent as to what actually happened.

No, just the logical, and proven, realities of public food service establishments.

You see a couple of bikers, they look suspicious, one may even have a gun, but you ignore them. They drink their coffee and leave. You're happy you didn't overreact.

A guy goes to the bathroom and is in there forever. You get suspicious, but then think "maybe he just had Mexican food." 10 minutes later, he exits and leaves. You're happy.

You see a gram of pot on the counter and the waitress says some schmuck left it as a tip. You sweep it up and ignore it. You're happy.

you come back in a week, and there are two scenarios:

1: the place is as you left it, business is humming, and there's a calm air of peace in the room because of your open-minded tolerant ways.

2; there are 10 bikers now using your shop as a hangout, three guys are shooting up in the bathroom, and your waitress is either buying or selling dope from behind the counter. All because you let it slide once.

If you think the answer is #1, you're rationalizing, and don't every buy, or work at, a restaurant.

BTW - look up Strawman. You're making arguments on behalf of pot-smokers, so it's not a strawman to asume you are one too. whether you've ever smoked in your life, you've taken on the role as pot advocate.

DeanMoriarty		2005-06-30 04:11:33 PM

Your login name is DeanMoriarty, and you're going off on a non-sensical anti-drug tirade?

Sal would be so disappointed in you right now...

No, it's an anti-rude and criminal tirade.

(Don't worry - the irony still stands ;))

An_Innocent_Primate		2005-06-30 04:13:13 PM

DeanMoriarty

Hands up, everyone who thinks she should have just thrown it away and ignored it if it was
-crack
-a gun
-a hit list
-a needle
-etc.

Hmmmm. Your reasoning that tipping with pot is a bad thing is that pot is illegal. Last I checked, guns are legal. So in your book, that should be OK.

Also, if you think pot should be legalized, then what's your problem with people who say "it's just pot"? Because if it was dangerous, you'd want to keep it illegal, right? Your whole rationale lacks logic of any kind.

DeanMoriarty		2005-06-30 04:15:43 PM

howdoibegin

My arguments, in brief:

-Regardless of whether it was pot or not, the waitress did the right thing in protecting herself and place of employment.

The people saying she overreacted, etc, are only doing so because it was pot, because they can't process that anything to do with pot could ever be harmful to someone else.

-People who are that myopic and can't see any possible harm done here have glorious and exciting career opportunities ahead at Taco Bell.

that's pretty much it.

tao_te_dinfos		2005-06-30 04:17:26 PM

Dutch coffee shops are licenced to sell small quantities of marijuana and shrooms to adults over 18.

StupidFly		2005-06-30 04:18:27 PM

Damn, I missed this one. Time to beat the already bleeding horse.

With no question to it, I would have reported it.

Call me whatever you like.

Someone doing that, assuming I have a job as a waitress, puts my job at risk. It puts me in the crosshairs for arrest. It lines me up to get crap on my record... All from someone assuming I was down with it.

So yes, I would be pissed off at the person who left it.

I would report it to whomever cared to hear so as to help clear my name. Obviously, these self-righteous pot smokers would scowl at me.

To put someone else in the position such as that is crap.

An_Innocent_Primate		2005-06-30 04:19:54 PM

DeanMoriarty

BTW - look up Strawman.

He doesn't need to. You defined it perfectly two lines up when you said:

2; there are 10 bikers now using your shop as a hangout, three guys are shooting up in the bathroom, and your waitress is either buying or selling dope from behind the counter. All because you let it slide once.

If you think the answer is #1, you're rationalizing, and don't every buy, or work at, a restaurant.

I'll remember that when I open my own restaurant. If one illegal activity occurs on the premises, the next week bikers will be shooting up and the waitresses will be dealing.

annie_fannie		2005-06-30 04:21:24 PM

An_Innocent_Primate said: "Last I checked, guns are legal. So in your book, that should be OK."

yes if you are licensed to carry one, they're legal. however, if you were to leave it unattended in a public place or intentional give it to someone who wasn't licensed to carry that specific weapon...it would be very very illegal. and depending what circumstances it was left, it could also be construed as threatening or harassment

/good effort...but not quite the best comparison.

annie_fannie		2005-06-30 04:23:45 PM

oh sorry, i might be taking issue with DeanMoriarty and not you Primate...not reading this super-closely...or following the current flame.

DeanMoriarty		2005-06-30 04:24:20 PM

Also, if you think pot should be legalized, then what's your problem with people who say "it's just pot"? Because if it was dangerous, you'd want to keep it illegal, right? Your whole rationale lacks logic of any kind.

My problem is with people who think the fact that "it's just pot" overrides the fact that it's illegal right now. The ones who rationalize anything that has to do with pot by saying "it's just pot".

In this circumstance, it has to do with a lot more than what the actual substance was. But everyone thinks the cops and waitress and security guard should have ignored it because "it's just pot".

I think that's a totally moronic viewpoint.

DeanMoriarty		2005-06-30 04:28:05 PM

An_Innocent_Primate

hee hee. You think it's a strawman.

I SO want to come to the opening of your restaurant.

I managed a restaurant in the East Village in New York. It's not a strawman - it's market research and experience.

But no, really. Watch an illegal activity occur, and ignore it. I'm sure you'll never have any recurrences.

Honest.

An_Innocent_Primate		2005-06-30 04:29:07 PM

annie_fannie

good effort...but not quite the best comparison.

I agree, but I just think DeanMoriarty has contradicted himself quite a bit. Seeing that his main point seems to be the legality of the situation, there's a hole in his argument.

If you think pot should be legal, you obviously don't think it is dangerous. And at the same time, there should be that much animosity towards those who use pot. I'm trying to get him to clarify his stance.

DeanMoriarty		2005-06-30 04:29:18 PM

annie_fannie

You got it right the first time.

StupidFly

Woohoo - a sane person.

mistergecko		2005-06-30 04:29:48 PM

ToxicVodka: Wait. I thought smoking pot made you all happy and non-violent.

Yeah, until somebody tries to spoil your fun by arresting you.

An_Innocent_Primate		2005-06-30 04:32:11 PM

DeanMoriarty

Then why do you think pot should be legal? If you answer this question, a lot of my issues with your stance will go away. I won't bother with you any further until you answer that simple question.

Rafe		2005-06-30 04:32:24 PM

Hey Chicken Little, I think the sky is falling....

StupidFly		2005-06-30 04:32:55 PM

An_Innocent_Primate If you think pot should be legal, you obviously don't think it is dangerous. And at the same time, there should be that much animosity towards those who use pot. I'm trying to get him to clarify his stance.

It sounds awful familiar to me. No holes spotted. You can be fired, prosecuted, fined, cited, jailed.

Contrary to the apparent popular belief: Thinking pot should be legal doesn't change that.

/Legalize it
//Doesnt touch it in the meantime.

szmike		2005-06-30 04:33:14 PM

StupidFly

Someone doing that, assuming I have a job as a waitress, puts my job at risk. It puts me in the crosshairs for arrest.

No, it doesn't because they have no proof that it was yours.

Yes, it was on the table.

Did the cops see you put it there?

You're in an entire establishment full of witnesses. Did anybody see you place the weed on the table?

How do they know the customer who last sat there didn't put it there themselves?

Hell, Occam's Razor would tell you that would be the far likelier scenario than a waitress pulling out her own stash while she's at her place of business and for no reason, leave it on a table for the entire store to see.

mistergecko		2005-06-30 04:34:00 PM

DeanMoriarty:

In your hypothetical Starbucks franchise, you'll end up broke, possibly robbed, and out of business because you let people use your place of business like it was their living room.

Why would this happen?

newunit		2005-06-30 04:36:23 PM

szmike: Hell, yes I did. And will always make that rationalization. It's. Only. Pot. It's not a toxic substance. It is not responsible for hundreds of thousands of deaths like tobacco, which by the way is smoked freely and heavily outside any given Starbucks. It was a weed, that grows naturally, that the waitress could have swept up and thrown away.

Well you know it's a gateway drug...a gateway to a good buzz for me after work.

Please remember, do not try reason with puritans. They bash the pot all day long but go for a drink of some good legal of booze and then beat their wife or crash their car killing innocent pot heads that were driving too slow.

/well that came out weird
//it must be the pot talking
///or the booze
////nope it's the pot for sure
/////I hate booze
//////but loves me some pot

An_Innocent_Primate		2005-06-30 04:36:27 PM

DeanMoriarty

But no, really. Watch an illegal activity occur, and ignore it. I'm sure you'll never have any recurrences.

Fark it, I'm going to address this too. I never said I would ignore it - I haven't even touched that side of the situation yet. If you take care of things the first time the right way then the issue goes away. The right way is to tell the person that their actions aren't appreciated, and neither will their business from that point forward. Because this just alienates the one customer, and he is the only one who knows what transpired.

The wrong way is to make a huge deal out of it. This alienates many people, some of whom you wouldn't have guessed it would offend. If the situation repeats itself, then it's OK to make a scene.

chechcal		2005-06-30 04:36:41 PM

DeanMoriarty: Actually, i prefer decriminalizing, thanks.

Well, attitudes like yours are exactly what fuels the fire of those that continue to treat pot as the equivalent of heroin. Congratulations you self-righteous prick.

DeanMoriarty		2005-06-30 04:38:10 PM

Seeing that his main point seems to be the legality of the situation, there's a hole in his argument.

Sigh.

My point isn't that at all. It's the idiocy of people attacking someone for reporting an situation of risk, just because it's pot.

I think she should have reported it either way, pot or a gun. Both endanger her job and place of business. The "harmlessness" of the pot itself is wholly offset by the fact it's in a illegal substance.

If you think pot should be legal, you obviously don't think it is dangerous.

again, whether it's dangerous or not is moot. As an illegal substance, it's dangerous to people or places of business where it is presented or used; especially in situations like this where it was unsolicited.

we'll make this brutally clear: whether it was pot or a gun or a tiger, it was something that shouldn't have been there, endangering her job and the business, and needed to be reported in order to minimize, if not eliminate, the chances of it happening again.

If it was a gun or a tiger, though, nobody would complain about her reporting it. It's the idots who don't realize the public presence of pot put her at risk as well, who are the problem here.

An_Innocent_Primate		2005-06-30 04:38:57 PM

StupidFly

No holes spotted. You can be fired, prosecuted, fined, cited, jailed.

Big hole spotted. He says it should be legal but hates when people say "it's just pot." If it should be legal, then it is just pot.

MWeather		2005-06-30 04:39:28 PM

DeanMoriarty:

But no, really. Watch an illegal activity occur, and ignore it. I'm sure you'll never have any recurrences.

We're talking about ignoring CERTAIN illegal occurances. Nobody ever said they'd ignore people shooting up in the bathroom. That drives away business. A little weed on the counter for a few seconds is hardly comparable.

annie_fannie:

yes if you are licensed to carry one, they're legal. however, if you were to leave it unattended in a public place or intentional give it to someone who wasn't licensed to carry that specific weapon...it would be very very illegal. and depending what circumstances it was left, it could also be construed as threatening or harassment

Yes, but in this scenario you only thing they might have a gun, even if you knew, there is no reason to believe they aren't legaly allowed to carry the gun, so why call the cops and possibly get an innocent man shot by barney fife? Because any time copsdeal with someone they think might be a threat, there's a chance someone will get spooked and shoot the guy.

StupidFly		2005-06-30 04:40:52 PM

szmike
No, it doesn't because they have no proof that it was yours.

Your supervisor, regardless how high up they may be, does not need that kind of burden of proof. I don't know about you, but I would have a hard time believing one of my underlings that "some guy left it there!"

Sure, testing could absolve one self.

This is all assuming it is there and you are not yet aware.

Once you are aware, you can damn well be held responsible for NOT reporting it. Your management could terminate you. "I don't think pot should be illegal" is not going to save you from that one.

If it is found in the trash, you are then made to lie?

Just to not support someone elses dumb fark idea?

gilgamesh23		2005-06-30 04:42:55 PM

I've been tipped in pot before. I usually just give it to some coworker - it ain't hard to find someone who smokes pot in a restaurant.

I've been tipped in crack, though, twice. First time it was a small amount and I just threw it out. Found out a little while later that one of my coworkers was very disappointed and wanted to know where it was, but I wouldn't tell her. (I felt like I needed to protect her or something.)

Second time, though, was beautiful. I had a group of guys late at night, and they were total asswipes. They thought it was fun to ask me to bring them something, then when I showed up remember they wanted something else, and so on until I got frustrated and started ignoring them, at which point one of them played the race card. Dickheads. Anyway, after they left I was cleaning up their table and found a fairly large amount of crack in a sandwich bag sitting on the booth seat as if it had just fallen out of someone's pocket. I found out later it was about $1000 worth.

I discretely pocketed the bag, talked to the coworker I knew was, uh, crack-positive, and she happily accepted it. I told the story and we shared a laugh.

About ten minutes later one of the guys from the table shuffled back into the lobby, now looking a bit crestfallen instead of like a smiling boisterous asshole. I happened to be walking by at the moment and overheard him asking the hostess, "I think I left some personal things at my table. Did you find anything?" The hostess glanced in my direction, knowing that I had been the server, and I replied, "No sir, I didn't find a thing." I had to quickly retreat to the kitchen before I could burst out laughing.

Displayed 50 of 190 comments