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(seamallowance)   Asshat flips car, flees. Teed-off cops catch up to him teeing off   (adn.com) divider line 46
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13339 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Jun 2005 at 1:07 AM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



46 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2005-06-13 01:09:33 AM
My hometown. Figures.
 
2005-06-13 01:11:30 AM
Article: The driver didn't say much to the officers who confronted him, according to Koch.

"He said 'I think I need a lawyer.' He was right."


No shiat, Sherlock.
 
2005-06-13 01:13:06 AM
bad bad headline... try again
 
2005-06-13 01:14:00 AM
that article had some interesting quips...

The three people in that car were from Washington state and considering moving to Alaska, Reeder said.

"Just to be able to get your vehicle airborne -- that's some speed."

"He pretty much rattled his spinal cord," Koch said.
 
2005-06-13 01:14:36 AM
What are the green fees, for god's sake?

"It takes some significant speed to go airborne across four lanes of traffic and land upside down on another vehicle," Reeder said. "Just to be able to get your vehicle airborne -- that's some speed."
 
2005-06-13 01:16:22 AM
Headline tries way too hard
 
2005-06-13 01:19:02 AM
Hey, headline haters, why don't you offer your alternative? Or some cowbell, at least.

Not the submitter.
 
2005-06-13 01:20:12 AM
Headline tries too hard? Well I'll be polite and give submitter a golf clap.
 
2005-06-13 01:22:22 AM
INSANE STUNT BONUS!
 
2005-06-13 01:33:48 AM
Second greenlight with "asshat" in headline in the last few hours. Bad moderators. Bad.

/Just kidding
//Please don't ban me
///Chicken?
 
2005-06-13 01:39:02 AM
You gotta really want it.
 
2005-06-13 01:40:53 AM
For GOLF?!?!
 
2005-06-13 01:47:28 AM
Are we going for an asshat trifecta now?
 
2005-06-13 01:49:11 AM
wow. Does Alaska have the Death penalty for being a Jacka$$?
 
2005-06-13 01:56:07 AM
When Kelsey Grammer rolled his Dodge Viper, the Cops didn't have to chase him down. The accident occured in his driveway.
 
2005-06-13 02:06:27 AM
I thought the headline was ok, tough crowd.

I hope this douche gets a lethal injection.

/not submitter btw.
 
2005-06-13 02:08:19 AM
He is indeed an extreme asshat and he likes golf, which makes it worse. I can understand the other charges, but why an assault charge?
 
2005-06-13 02:17:26 AM
teeing time? Teabagging time.
 
2005-06-13 02:19:33 AM
None of you guys must be golfers.

Missing your tee-off time is a disrespect of the sport and violation of golf etiquitte (sp?).

I wouldn't miss a time even if my wanted rating was 5 stars.
 
2005-06-13 02:24:31 AM
wow. Does Alaska have the Death penalty for being a Jacka$$?

No, because then we'd be obligated to put our dear governor to death.

/no death penalty in AK at all, btw
 
2005-06-13 02:33:56 AM
TheCharmerUnderMe: That was hilarious! I just finished an hour of GTA 3 (working backwards in the series).
 
2005-06-13 02:35:14 AM
silly guy. at this time of year in alaska the sun is out 24 hours a day. i bet he could have rescheduled for 2 am.
 
2005-06-13 02:42:34 AM
so they golf in alaska? interesting...
golf and the yankees suck
 
2005-06-13 02:46:57 AM
Them Duke boys run off with my 9-iron.

 
2005-06-13 03:16:42 AM
Likes his golf, does he?

I call corporal punishment on this one. Sledgehammer, left hand, and one swing. Golf with that, schmuck.
 
2005-06-13 03:43:45 AM
I live roughly 1/2 mile from the golf course that he was caught at. That makes me special.
 
2005-06-13 05:30:20 AM
Well now I want to know what kind of Mitsubishi we're talking about, here. Is this a garden variety Mirage, or a 3000GT VR4? I need to know how disappointed I should be.

I recently found out how it feels to flip a car, as a passenger. It really sucks, especially when you're trying to get the driver to stop like these guys were.
 
2005-06-13 06:00:36 AM
What really gets me is that this guy was going to golf with compund leg fractures. I have a feeling that would probably screw up his stance... Oh, and I love how they say what looked to be compound fractures to his leg. I think bone sticking out would be a dead giveaway, but then i suppose I'm not a diagnostician.
 
2005-06-13 06:44:52 AM
Dafodude... I think they meant the driver of the car they hit. I don't know how you would get up and walk away with your bone protruding from your leg.
 
2005-06-13 06:55:12 AM
Wait, he flipped a car, got a compound fracture, and headed for a golf course? Can you imagine...?

...

"I hear there was a huge accident just off the road..."

"Who the hell cares!? Pass me my nine-iron!"

"Er - sir, are you alright? You seem a bit - er beat up?"

"Look, buddy, you're a cattie, so do your job! I'm here to play golf - you're here to help me play golf, not ask me about my personal life!"

"But, sir - your leg! I'm no doctor, but legs should not bend in that direction!"

"Shut up, and set up my golf ball! Do you have any idea, you little club-jockey, just what this tee-time means to me?! Just what I did to get to this place, at this time!? I'm not afraid of those filthy cops - I broke a lot of laws to get here, and I'm ready to break more. So help me, if you don't caddy right, I will beat the life out of you with this club!"

"Er - sir, yes, very good sir. May I suggest a three iron?"

"To... beat the life out of you?"

"No, sir, for the next shot."

"Oh - yes. Sorry, it's the blood loss. I'm a little slow today - you know how that goes, hehe."
 
BR2
2005-06-13 07:23:02 AM
Woah, dude risked prison time for that NON SPORT that is golf?
 
2005-06-13 07:26:36 AM
Life really needs cheat codes.

R1, R1, Circle, R2, Up, Down, Up, Down, Up, Down
 
2005-06-13 08:11:13 AM
...was charged with drunken driving, reckless driving, assault and leaving the scene of an accident.

Strange. On my first skim through the article, I read that as "charged with being a drunken driving, reckless driving, asshat and leaving the scene of an accident."
 
2005-06-13 08:12:21 AM
Yay! A car thread! I won't be immediately banned for asking this question (though, if it's a dead thread I may have to wait for another relevant line)

Okay, does anyone know what would cause a four wheel disk break system to gradually lock up in an 89' Acura Integra LS? It's as if the system is not releasing pressure and allowing it to build until the calipers become completely locked... and then catch on fire.
 
2005-06-13 08:33:53 AM
"He said 'I think I need a lawyer.' He was right."

And a good one at that... ugh. What an asshole. We need an ASSHOLE tag.
 
2005-06-13 09:18:50 AM
Jaegs:

None of you guys must be golfers.

Missing your tee-off time is a disrespect of the sport and violation of golf etiquitte (sp?).

I wouldn't miss a time even if my wanted rating was 5 stars.



You sir, are an asshat.

Golf is by far the biggest waste of time and land space imaginable.

/Eat the Rich
 
2005-06-13 09:32:29 AM
What I'd like to know is how does one play golf in Anchorage? Unless it's that snow golf they play up in finland or something.
 
2005-06-13 10:07:14 AM
After reading the article, I despise golf even more and I didn't think that was possible.

Give the guy a 5-Iron enema. Then kill him.
 
2005-06-13 10:33:57 AM
Missing your tee-off time is a disrespect of the sport and violation of golf etiquitte (sp?).

Right... but it's so respectful to the people he crashed into, isn't it?
 
2005-06-13 10:39:16 AM
I liked the headline
 
2005-06-13 12:01:56 PM
NineInchNader:

Okay, does anyone know what would cause a four wheel disk break system to gradually lock up in an 89' Acura Integra LS? It's as if the system is not releasing pressure and allowing it to build until the calipers become completely locked... and then catch on fire.


I recommend immediate crushing and purchase of an American make.
 
2005-06-13 01:01:16 PM
Fark you UNRIGHT. Don't worry though buddy, there are plenty of no talent fools out there like you.
 
2005-06-13 03:08:25 PM
Jaegs,

Your momma must be so proud of her retarded special little boy.

What is more important golf etiquette or a person's life? Or in this case, four peoples life?
 
2005-06-14 03:52:16 AM
 
2005-06-14 11:40:50 AM
You have to wonder what the hell he was or wasn't thinking. He must have somehow thought he'd be able to get at least 9 holes in until they caught up with him.
 
2005-06-14 11:44:12 AM
And if he was there to steal something, I doubt it was a golf cart. Wouldn't make a very good replacement for a Mitsubishi.
 
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