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(ABC News)   Talking washing machine to revolutionize the way household appliances annoy us   ( divider line
    More: PSA  
•       •       •

2253 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Apr 2002 at 3:20 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

56 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-04-08 03:23:35 PM  
"Your skidmarks are clean, sir."
2002-04-08 03:23:38 PM  
Long as it washes.
2002-04-08 03:24:11 PM  
Is that really a picture of you Sinister? hahaha
2002-04-08 03:24:38 PM  
it'll have my wife's voice and i'll listen in stereo.
2002-04-08 03:24:46 PM  
Will it tell my dog to quit eating the wall when I put him in the laundry room at night?
2002-04-08 03:25:10 PM  
Mine would probably switch to my mom's voice: "You have to pre-mix the soap otherwise you'll get clumps. Why didn't you do you laundry in Kingston instead of bringing it home with you? Don't give me none of that lip!", etc.
2002-04-08 03:25:14 PM  
Now, if it had the accent of Apu, THAT would be funny.

"Your clothes will not get clean that way. What on earth do you think you are doing?"
2002-04-08 03:25:22 PM  
""The concept was developed in India after a consumer poll there showed the Indian consumers wanted such a machine,"

Huh ? So people in a country that's impoverished would rather not have a decent living wage, but a talking washing machine they can't even afford to buy ? I say send these Farkers on through the Highway of Hell. And take their talking washing machines with them for comfort.
2002-04-08 03:26:58 PM  
I doubt that seriously Skinink....I work in a bar on weekends and I can tell you that East Indians do not wash their clothing.

2002-04-08 03:27:24 PM  
So, I guess when I overload the damn washing machine, the stupid thing will now bounce around in the washroom AND scream at the top of its lungs for help. Right?
2002-04-08 03:27:44 PM  
Those talking vending machines were such a sucess 10 years ago.
2002-04-08 03:27:57 PM  
I'm still holding out for a guilt-ridden toaster.
2002-04-08 03:28:38 PM  
"please close the lid" if it is left open too long? We need a talking toilet that says "please close the lid", and at the same time, it can check the weight of the water and calculate the number of flushes necessary!!!!!!
2002-04-08 03:30:44 PM  
"in a female warm, personal Indian middle class accent,"
In other news, washing machines all over the South are being attacked without provocation
2002-04-08 03:31:39 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Lister: We don't like muffins around here! We want no muffins, no toast, no teacakes, no buns, baps, baguettes or bagels, no croissants, no crumpets, no pancakes, no potato cakes and no hot-cross buns and definitely no smegging flapjacks!

Toaster: Aah, so you're a waffle man!
2002-04-08 03:32:12 PM  
lol Sinister, screaming and bouncing washing machines

How many people would buy this just to give to their inlaws and cause heart attacks?

Clarkins, your dog eats the wall too? We noticed our pup had white stuff on his nose a couple times, thought he'd gotten coke from a neighbor dog or something until we finally noticed a couple chewed spots on our walls. Bitter apple doesn't stop him but his adoptive mother (german shepherd, he's a cocker spaniel) finally caught on that we didn't like it and herds him away now.
2002-04-08 03:33:22 PM  
"The concept was developed in India after a consumer poll there showed the Indian consumers wanted such a machine."

Who's the marketing genius who decided to poll for washing equipment needs in a country famous for its (a) poverty and (b) lack of hygiene?
2002-04-08 03:33:42 PM  
Anyone ever have one of those talking cars? You know, "Low fuel", and who could forget "The door is ajar." Damn those were irritating. I wonder if this will warn you when you accidentally throw a red shirt in with the whites.
2002-04-08 03:33:50 PM  
(Not being racist - Ghandi himself wrote repeatedly in his autobiography about how filthy his countrymen insisted on being)
2002-04-08 03:40:41 PM  
Considering how famously poor the living conditions are over there, I'm wondering what the other choices in the survey were?

Which would you rather pay for:
A kick in the nuts
A live cobra shoved up your a$$
A washing machine that talks?
2002-04-08 03:41:01 PM  
What does it say during the spin cycle?
C'mon jump on here baby..
Who's your daddy..
Grind it baby grind it..
Yee Haw..
2002-04-08 03:41:28 PM  
Heh. I can't wait to hear my washer yelling at me in Hindi that I shouldn't mix colors and whites. Fabric softener, what's that?
2002-04-08 03:41:30 PM  
This reminds me of a bad scenario from 2001 A Space Oddessy.

Washer: "Let me put it this way, Mr. Amer. The 9000 series is the most reliable washing machine ever made. No 9000 washing machine has ever made a color mistake or distorted the washload. We are all, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof and incapable of error.

(** 5 minutes later **)


Me: "WTF? I just threw a brown sock in with the whites, and the damn thing is broken!!!!"
2002-04-08 03:42:29 PM  
I haven't tried the bitter apple stuff yet. Haven't made it to the pet store to get anything. Thanks for the hint.
2002-04-08 03:42:33 PM  
Not to mention how filthy the Ganges is. Hey, that's what they could call this model of washing machine - the Talking Ganges.
2002-04-08 03:43:32 PM  
This would all be solved if they wore pants instead of those damn Sari's!
2002-04-08 03:47:47 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Which would you rather pay for:
A kick in the nuts
A live cobra shoved up your a$$
A washing machine that talks?

Nytyper: where is the option "D: All three"?
2002-04-08 03:47:49 PM  
Good lord, no one wants they? I mean A.I. will eventually take us over, but not washing machines....god no!
2002-04-08 03:50:23 PM  
Ouroborus - all three? that's just being greedy.
2002-04-08 03:50:57 PM  
It needs Gordon Jump's voice, so the Maytag Repairman can live forever.
2002-04-08 03:53:36 PM  
BillD.. do you want Gordon Jump as the Maytag repairman, or Gordon's seductive voice entreating you and your friend Dudley to play "Neptune King of the Sea"?
2002-04-08 04:02:26 PM  
Gordon Jump from "WKRP in Cincinatti". No, no, wait... from "The New WKRP in Cincinatti." Much better.

Nancy Reagan, in a very special Diffrent Strokes, warned us all to just say no to Gordon Jump's advances.
2002-04-08 04:03:22 PM  
Best headline ever
2002-04-08 04:09:27 PM  
I can just imagine what it would say when you have company over:
"Dave has horrible skidmarks"
2002-04-08 04:12:29 PM  
Dammit, BAD SIN beat me to it.

BAD SIN beats me to the posts.
JOHNDX and SLAYERSWINE beat me to the Farkettes.

Why do I even bother.
2002-04-08 04:21:37 PM  
2002-04-08 04:25:52 PM  
Best Diffrn't Strokes Ever...Gives new meaning to the
title, eh?
2002-04-08 04:28:11 PM  
Washy Talky sounds suspiciously like Farky Sucky (you get the picture).

Will it comfort me when I'm alone doing laundry on a Saturday night? Will the spin cycle result in a happy ending?
2002-04-08 04:31:49 PM  
I am not so worried about what is says about how dirty my clothes are, I am more worried about what is says about my clothes.

"You still wear this? Are the 80's back or something, is my internal clock off because I know nobody in 2002 would wear a shirt with an aligator on it. What is this?!?!? What is this, BELL BOTTOMS?" No, those so are not going in here. Who the hell bought me, Ernie Geekster??? Christ, you are completely oblivious to fashion at any degree aren't you?.....
2002-04-08 04:39:11 PM  
You beat me to the thread, but you were to busy thinkin about your dog.
I beat you to the punch. Guess my mind is more perverted.
How many farkettes have enjoyed the spin cycle I wonder? and if so, what would the machine be sayin to you?
2002-04-08 04:45:12 PM  
Can you imagine the washer with Sam Kinison's voice?

"Get those nasty boxers out of here. Give me those panties with the stains all over them" Get em in here now!!!!NOW!!
2002-04-08 04:59:20 PM  
FLA Chickie, Rita, Kylie, I'd be happy to wash your dainty underthings--

Wait til you see my spin cycle!
2002-04-08 05:03:53 PM  
"The concept was developed in India after a consumer poll there showed the Indian consumers wanted such a machine," Electrolux spokesman Jacob Broberg said

Yeah, well those of us in the 21st century who wash our clothes more than once a year know how to use a farking washing machine. No I am not racist, I just think that being stupid should be painful.
2002-04-08 05:13:43 PM  
I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that (wash coloured clothes with high temperature).
2002-04-08 05:17:58 PM  
Instead of adding Indian voices, why not design a washing machine that you can dump all your clothes into and it will sort it by colour, wash them, dry them, and press them for you?
Oh! And it could play the factory/worksite music from the old Warner Bros. cartoons. Doo-dee-doo, dee-doo-dee-doo-doo...
2002-04-08 05:22:23 PM  
Wait till the damn washing machine gets into an argument with the dryer.
2002-04-08 05:28:17 PM  
I want a dryer that will fold my clothes for me.
2002-04-08 05:36:30 PM  
So, will it now also contain a customs office?

"Excuse me, Mr White T-shirt, but has any unknown person asked you to carry on any items that might contain a red sock or green sweatpants"

T-shirt(sweating profusely) :Um, no. No, I don't know what you talking about...
2002-04-08 05:56:08 PM  
Hrmm.. from Electrolux, eh?

Anyone else remember one of Electrolux's marketing slogans for their vaccuums in the 80's? "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux!"
2002-04-08 06:49:50 PM  
"I'm sorry Dave, but you must use Mascul-out for those horrible protein stains"
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