Meh. I just know of the one way...

Strangely, "Elect Republicans" was not on the list.

/I keed!

Was #1, "Just wait?"

Because that one is true.

mrCasual: Was #1, "Just wait?"

Because that one is true.

That was #10

What happened to:

1. Environmental Destruction

Efforts to ignore overwhelming scientific evidence in favor of widespread climate change continue apace in one of the world's largest consumer countries, thus ensuring the destruction of the Earth's environment as we know it within the next 100 years or so.

10/10

Easiest way to do it...

TalkingBaseball:

...destruction of the Earth's environment as we know it...

The article was about the total annihilation of the planet as a single body. Killing off most of the life is easy - we could have done that years ago. Turning the planet into an asteroid belt or black hole, now that's style.

The author calls it "mundicide." What a great word! Mundicide mundicide mundicide. First degree mundicide, second degree mundicide, involuntary planetslaughter.

Destroying the environment won't be the end of the earth, although does the earth exist if we are not on it? The rock we sit on will exist until the sun craps out on us, life on the other hand may not.

Besides, life began on earth when it was soaked in UV radiation and lacking a oxygen atmosphere. If we nuke the whole surface of the planet, it's still not guaranteed that we will kill off the little bacteria in the crust or in hydrothermal vents.

"Creating a microscopic black hole is tricky, since one needs a reasonable amount of neutronium, but may possibly be achievable by jamming large numbers of atomic nuclei together until they stick. This is left as an exercise to the reader."

Who has had a textbook with those words?

Any professor who puts that text in their book should be tarred and feathered as exercise for the frustrated reader.

MaxxLarge:

I'm sorry, they just failed the test.
They left off the way that is best:
To blow us to bits,
Leave Bush where he sits.
I'm sure he'll take care of the rest.

That's my favorite yet :) good 'un!

better link

Easier to read, and only 1 page to load instead of 11

Playerslight: Any professor who puts that text in their book should be tarred and feathered as exercise for the frustrated reader.

Yeah, it's a good thing that LiveScience isn't producing textbooks on destroying the Earth.

-------

"Can you see through steel?"

"No."

"Can yo ucreate energy-based multiples of yourself?"

"Whoa! Nope!"

"Can you destroy the Earth?"

"EGAD! I hope not! That where I keep all my stuff."

...with a better headline.

MaxxLarge

I agree, can we all move to Iceland or some other place that might ne safe before it happens? Hell, I hear after he helps the US get blowed up that might be a nice place to live once the climate changes after the fit hits the shan.....

Well, just wait 5 billion years, the sun will expand as it exhausts its fuel and incinerate the planet.

I think the warranty will have run out by then.

Well, even if we do manage to actually destroy the Earth, who's to say that other forces won't help to piece it back together again in, say, a few hundred million years.

Destroying the Earth is so overrated. It's like a soap opera or comic-book character dying; never a sure thing.

Article missed loads of ways!

Slightly amusing nevertheless...

Four words:

Gay Black Woman President.

one of the most amusing articales i've read in a long while. yes i'm a science geek.

Very fun article. Thanks, submitter.

They referenced Terry Pratchett. Makes it a good list, as far as I'm concerned. ;o)

Very witty article. I loved the dry humor. And interesting too.

stupidest greenlight evar. thanks for wasting my sleep time.

Two Words: Kirstie Alley

What, no Sephiroth reference? Come on, #3 was a dead giveaway. That is how I plan on ending all life on this miserable little mud ball. Sephiroth was a bastard, but I can agree with the whole 'kill all humans' thing.

Now I just have to find that blasted Black Materia....


/Hey, baby. Wanna kill all humans?

On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.

that was mildly entertaining. thank you submitter.

MadMike5200

LOL!!! forgot that one.......

GJ

Don't get me started on global warming. What a bunch of bull... Temperature, like everything else on this planet follows a cycle. It gets really cold and freezes everything(think the ice ages), then it gets hot and melts almost all of the ice(think now), and then it starts getting cold again. Duh.

/Shenanigans!

also good is firing a giant "laser" from dr. evil's "death star", as outlined in "the alan parsons project."

All you need is one Illudium Q-36 Space Modulator.

/where's the kaboom?
//there was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom!

I have to say Kaizer Ryu I thought about the same thing.

And btw, FFVII was, at the time, one of the best games ever. I spent countless hours enjoying every aspect of this game. From the graphics and sound to the gameplay and most of all, the story.

/good times...
//threadjack

This is how the world ends
This is how the world ends
This is how the world ends
Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
-T.S. Eliot

VS



Who would blow up the earth first?

/Ready.....SET......
//DEBATE
///DR. EVIL BABY, YAAAHHHHHH!

Marvin. hands down best bugs bunny character. evar.

what about pinky and the brain??

or did they just want to take over the world, not necessarily destroy it...?

Everyone knows the best way to destroy a planet is to go super saiyan, then yell, really really load. Poof!, no more planet!

I guess I should report the link to the F.B.I. or Department of Homeland Security...

I'd say the best way is to slightly modify the orbit of a large (800 miles large, if possible) asteroid to make it run into the earth in a few hundred years. As long as it breaks up the earth's crust, it's destroyed enough for me. ;)