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(Some Guy)   How to give up coffee   ( divider line
    More: Unlikely  
•       •       •

23109 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Jun 2005 at 4:16 AM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

239 Comments     (+0 »)

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2005-05-31 02:57:35 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2005-05-31 02:59:14 PM  
Why? Why would i want to give up coffee?
2005-05-31 02:59:59 PM  
Switch to iced tea.
2005-05-31 03:00:41 PM  
Switch to Green Tea
2005-05-31 03:01:21 PM  
Why? Why would i want to give up coffee?

2005-05-31 03:02:02 PM  
I can quit any time I want!!
2005-05-31 03:04:35 PM  
Not bloody likely.
2005-05-31 03:07:29 PM  
I don't drink grownup drinks.
2005-05-31 03:07:44 PM  

Why? Why would i want to give up coffee?


2005-05-31 03:10:37 PM  
I'd give up coffee but my heart would stop beating.
2005-05-31 03:11:33 PM  
Go back to Russia, hippie!
2005-05-31 03:12:30 PM  
I switched to methamphetamine, I see things more clearly now, I see my enemies. What? Why you looking at me? WHAT????

2005-05-31 03:14:18 PM  
Stop adding sugar and cream
2005-05-31 03:16:41 PM  
2005-05-31 03:17:42 PM  
Celestial Seasonings? Nearly all of that stuff is garbage. You've got to be kidding me.

/the apricot-ginger stuff is kinda tasty, though
//drinks English breakfast
2005-05-31 03:21:04 PM  
They can have my coffee when they pry it from my cold, dead hands.
2005-05-31 03:23:19 PM  
Switch to crack.
2005-05-31 03:24:05 PM  
Why should I abandon my joe?
It's tasty and toasty, you know.
The sugar and cream
Wafting up on the steam
Provides me my get-up-and-GO.
2005-05-31 03:28:42 PM  
Smell my 8th grade math teachers breath?

/never started
2005-05-31 03:29:41 PM  
Go get me a cup of coffee
Go get me a cupajoe.

2005-05-31 03:33:47 PM  
I'm sorry, but without coffee, I'm not a nice guy. Wait, I'm not a nice guy after coffee, just tolerable. W/O coffee I'm a grumpy old man who wants those damn kids off the lawn.
2005-05-31 03:48:01 PM  
...He avoids all dairy prodsucts by going to

I'm baffled.
2005-05-31 03:55:33 PM  
2005-05-31 04:21:44 PM  
2005-05-31 04:34:08 PM  
Caffeine is my shepherd; I shall not doze.

It maketh me to wake in green pastures: it leadeth me beyond the sleeping masses.

It restoreth my buzz: it leadeth me in the paths of consciousness for its name's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of addiction, I will fear no Equal (tm): for thou art with me; thy cream and thy sugar they comfort me.

Thou preparest a carafe before me in the prescence of Juan Valdez: thou anointest my day with pep; my mug runneth over.

Surely richness and taste shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the House of Maxwell forever.

I've seen that passed around for some time, but I enjoy it each time I read it.
2005-05-31 04:47:46 PM  
Coffee is my only vice. It will never leave.

/Little Debbie snack cakes are only a hobby, not a vice.
2005-05-31 04:48:04 PM  
You can take my triple Venti non-fat half-caf mochacchino with whip when you can pry it from my cold dead caffinated seizure grip.
2005-05-31 05:15:06 PM  
mmm, I'm going to brew a pot RIGHT NOW.

ZAZ [TotalFark]
2005-05-31 05:17:32 PM  
This article will post to the main page on Wed, 01 Jun 2005 at 4:16 AM

How cruel of the admins.

I gave up coke by reducing consumption. "No more than three cans today, even if I think I want more." "No more than two cans." "One can today." "None today -- I'm not an addict and I don't need it." I'm back on it now, but I've proved I can quit, and I do stop sometimes.
2005-05-31 06:32:17 PM  
2005-05-31 07:49:54 PM  
I used to drink 1 cup a day. Then they put this fancy machine in the OR lounge, that instantly brews you a personal cup of coffee while you watch. None of this concentrate stuff, there's a neat French Press inside that does the brewing. Now I drink 3 to 4 cups per day.

/It's normal for your hands to shake. Honest.
2005-05-31 08:11:38 PM  
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2005-05-31 08:47:32 PM  
"Why? Why would i want to give up coffee?"


You'll take my coffee out of my trembling, shaking hands.
2005-05-31 10:21:06 PM  
Coffee to grain coffee? I found the transition from coffee to grain alcohol to be much more...intense.
2005-05-31 10:32:55 PM  
I did give up switching to quadruple espressos and iced americanos.
2005-05-31 11:03:15 PM  
pssst, Aqueduct_Pocket---an iced americano is just watered down espresso on ice. I.E. Iced regular coffee, pretty much. Just ask for an iced hammerhead instead: a shot of espresso, add ice, fill rest of cup with black coffee. mmmmmm hammerhead.
2005-06-01 01:04:06 AM  
Give. up. coffee?
Give. up. coffee?
Why? In the name of Gawd, why?
Think of the coffee beans!
2005-06-01 03:11:35 AM  
It would take an entire 120 cup commercial brewer to make it through that long and pointless article.

Your mom doesn't like Starbucks. Who the hell cares?
2005-06-01 04:21:26 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

Switch one addiction for another?

MaxxLarge Did you forget to take your limerick medication again?
2005-06-01 04:27:49 AM  
The article answers your question:

"Why give up coffee?"


/in disagreement however
//would never quit caffeine
2005-06-01 04:31:06 AM  
A Mathematician is a machine for turning coffee into theorems.

Paul Erdos
2005-06-01 04:34:08 AM  
I could give up coffee for my health, but it would ruin the sweet sweet taste of my all natural cigarettes (100% tobacco)!
2005-06-01 04:34:20 AM  
green tea
2005-06-01 04:42:18 AM  
I usually fill a quarter of my cup with dry coffee crystals. Then I use enough real brewed coffee to saturate the crystals into a syrupy muck. Then I pour in enough cold milk to fill the cup. I've got about 5 cups worth of caffeine in that one cup, and I drink that before I teach my classes. I'm so wired I can't see straight, but it sure entertains the kids. Then I burn out worse than bunk weed.
2005-06-01 04:42:27 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

Thank you, ImageShack!
2005-06-01 04:42:43 AM  

those who actually have caffeine addictions and question why, for the love of god, they should ever consider going off it, those people probably didn't make it to that part of the article due to the effects of caffeine which are very similar to those of attention def... oh look, a pigeon!

/didn't make it to the end, case in point. so why should i give up this magical bean juice?
2005-06-01 04:43:08 AM  
The writer lost all credibility when he/she expressed an affinity for Starbucks coffee.

No wonder you quit drinking joe, you bed-wetter.

I want COFFEE-flavored coffee! -Leary
2005-06-01 04:43:18 AM  
Step 1: Give up donuts.
2005-06-01 04:46:10 AM  
My question: How do you drink coffee in the first place? Some of it smells ok, but it tastes awful. Sure, you can dump cream and sugar in, but what *doesn't* taste good loaded with them?

I think I've had 2 or 3 cups, lifetime. I'll take iced tea (with lemon or lemonade...current favorite being Turkey Hill Lemon Tea) or soda.
2005-06-01 04:46:44 AM  
Get 6 hours of sleep.
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