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(Clarion-Ledger)   "Barry Bonds is hooked up to life support, is hallucinating and is speaking only in Latin"   (clarionledger.com) divider line 110
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40117 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 May 2005 at 12:45 AM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2005-05-24 05:33:22 PM  
Heh. Can't wait to hear from all the Bonds-haters. You know, if the media just stopped talking to Bonds and let the fans enjoy watching him play, the rest of Baseball America would love the guy.
 
2005-05-24 05:39:12 PM  
I hear blood transfusions and gerbil extractions can sometimes take about a 6-month recovery time.

/just sayin'
 
2005-05-24 05:39:25 PM  
I heard a rumor the other day, by the way, that if Bonds makes a mostly-full recovery and can play almost every day, he will NOT retire OR move to an AL team to become a DH. Instead, the rumor goes, he wants to go work for Dusty Baker again.

How farking cool would it be to have Bonds as a Cub? I bet Chicago fans (myself included) would forget everything bad that's ever been written about him.
 
2005-05-24 05:42:31 PM  
Cro-Mag back in action? News at 11.
 
2005-05-24 05:47:28 PM  
I want some of what he's taking.

I never could get the hang of Latin ;)
 
2005-05-24 05:51:34 PM  
Habemus rectum!
 
2005-05-24 05:51:55 PM  
juicer. retire allready.
 
2005-05-24 05:59:03 PM  
Seneca Doane

How farking cool would it be to have Bonds as a Cub? I bet Chicago fans (myself included) would forget everything bad that's ever been written about him.

Speaking for myself, I personally was glad to have the biggest douchebag on the team exiled to Balitimore. I don't care how many steroi...err, homeruns this guy brings with him; I don't want him on my team.
 
2005-05-24 06:03:29 PM  
*
 
2005-05-24 06:11:52 PM  
lo siento.
Como se dice "*" en espanol?
 
2005-05-24 06:12:15 PM  
Can anyone say Withdrawals?

Didn't RTFA.
 
2005-05-24 06:14:27 PM  
oh gawd.
mods puullleeezzzeee delete previous post
/unless by "latin", you mean latin
 
2005-05-24 06:21:48 PM  
"In related news, a part of Selig's newest proposed steroid policy would require the home run and RBI champions to be questioned, strip-searched, and subject to Rorschach inkblot tests. 'It's the only way to be sure', said Selig, who has been under public scrutiny for allowing success to slip by in the sport he manages for far too long."
 
2005-05-24 06:33:04 PM  
You know, if the media just stopped talking to Bonds and let the fans enjoy watching him play, the rest of Baseball America would love the guy.

Oh, really? So, if the media backs off will he opt back in to the MLB Players Association program that divided all licensing royalty equally among all players equally from the multi-million dollar stars to the lowest guy in the bullpen and basically funds the MLBPA pension fund, which, while it may not mean much to today's rich guys, but to an old-timer who played for a couple hundred bucks a month, it's his livelihood. And why doesn't Bonds do it? Because he doesn't want to share merchandising revenue with anyone but Barry. Real team guy.

And did the media goad him into saying he wanted to take Babe Ruth Mark McGwire's records because the white media protects Ruth and McGwire? And did the media make Barry call Giants fans who showed up to spring training "losers" who need to "get lives"? And did the media make him take steroids, er, I mean, flaxseed oil to go from a forty-home run a year hitter to a 70 home run masher in his late 30's?

At least "Bonds haters" have something to base their hatred on. Bonds apologists are just fooling themselves. Yes, he has been the best hitter in the game, maybe even our lives, over the majority of his career, but excuse the rest of us for not pulling for the guy who hates fans, teammates, guys who used to play, the media, and just about everyone.
 
2005-05-24 06:46:54 PM  
Nabb1:

I mean, flaxseed oil to go from a forty-home run a year hitter to a 70 home run masher in his late 30's?

I wonder what substance Roger Maris (.260/.345/.821) took to go from 39 to 61 HR in the pitching friendly 60s?

Sorry, if Maris can peak at 61HR in 1961 Bonds can peak at 73, it's a much shorter climb.

He was a HOF'er and the best player of the 90s before he hit 73.
 
2005-05-24 06:49:35 PM  
 
2005-05-24 06:58:34 PM  
Withdrawl's a biatch, aint it Barry?
 
2005-05-24 07:28:33 PM  
dameron: Maris was a much younger man than Bonds. Sorry, but there is no way I am ever going to believe that Bonds did this without steroids. He's already admitted he used "the cream", which we now know are steroids, but claims he didn't know what it was.
 
2005-05-24 07:30:24 PM  
Oh, and he was definitely a first ballot hall of famer and one of the best players of our before his hat size literally increased from all the steroids and HGH. I don't understand why he did what he did.
 
2005-05-24 07:53:50 PM  
monstera: lo siento.
Como se dice "*" en espanol?


I learned how to say "I'm sorry, I don't speak spanish" in spanish, as sometimes in my old neighborhood I'd be asked something by a person who only spoke spanish, and figured at least I could learn how to tell them I didn't speak it, and save some frustration and confusion.

You can probably imagine why this completely backfired and I reverted to saying "I don't speak spanish" in english.
 
2005-05-24 08:41:46 PM  
Como se dice "*" en espanol?

La *a.

De nada.
 
2005-05-25 12:35:53 AM  
Barry who?
 
2005-05-25 12:50:34 AM  
dukeblue

Barry who?

 
2005-05-25 12:51:28 AM  

"It's clobberin' ti .. ow ow, steroid deprived ankle **sob**"


 
2005-05-25 12:52:12 AM  
He probably had to receive a testicle transplant because his dissapeared from all the 'roids.
 
2005-05-25 12:53:55 AM  
Hooked up to an IV tube delivering antibiotics? I'm not a doctor, but the only common reason to do this is when someone has lyme disease. Perhaps he does and his team is trying to hide it?
 
2005-05-25 01:05:21 AM  
nabb1 Avg ERA for the AL in 1961 was 4.02. in 2003 the Avg ERA was 4.35.

So why is it so hard to believe he hit well because of crappy pitching?

If you look thru the stats the years people only hit 40 hrs are when the League had less than 3.60 ERA.

I blame baseball and the inability to limit salaries for the Roid scandals. Players are buisness men and will do anything and everything to be the best. I dont blame them. Did Bill Gates become a billionaire by being "mr.play like a gentleman"? Did George Bush? No the top goes to whoever takes it.

Baseball is soley to blame for not installing drug testing measures in the late 70s early 80s.
 
2005-05-25 01:10:13 AM  
Wrangler1390:

IV Antibiotics are commonly used after surgery when an infection reaches a more critical level than is safe to wait for oral antibiotics can take effect.

Other serious internal infections (usually involving strep or other bacteria) are also treated with IV antibiotics.
 
2005-05-25 01:10:35 AM  
Didn't read TFA

wrangler1390:

Hooked up to an IV tube delivering antibiotics? I'm not a doctor, but the only common reason to do this is when someone has lyme disease. Perhaps he does and his team is trying to hide it?

Once on my deathbed from a pretty bad case of strep throat/tonsilitis, they did this to me. I was pretty dehydrated too so aside from the antibiotics, they were trying to get me rehydrated. Anyhow, point is, that there are other reasons.
 
2005-05-25 01:13:52 AM  
Don't know which I'd rather see - for Bonds to slink off into the sunset, falling short of Aaron's record;

or

Bonds trying like hell to come back and break the record, juiced up on every drug he can find, refusing to admit defeat, before watching him break down in a fit of rage as his body quits on him at home plate while 50,000 fans jeer him.


I'll take #2.
 
2005-05-25 01:14:15 AM  
get your shots in now, because when he comes back and breaks the last two or three records he hasn't broken yet, you chumps will have to swallow it... i know it's tough for you to accept that a 40 year old man can do all those things while most of you can't even get off the couch unless it's to get a bag of chips....
 
2005-05-25 01:16:11 AM  
"How farking cool would it be to have Bonds as a Cub? I bet Chicago fans (myself included) would forget everything bad that's ever been written about him."

As a Cub fan, I say the Giants can keep him. Damaged goods, over 40, on the decline, expensive as hell, steroids... no thanks.
 
2005-05-25 01:21:40 AM  

I am Jack's huge, sweaty man-tits
caused by years of steroid abuse,
and Latin lessons....
 
2005-05-25 01:23:02 AM  
An-Unnecessarily-Long-Name:

So why is it so hard to believe he hit well because of crappy pitching?

Cause he was never a HR hitter till he saw Mcsteroid and Soroid getting all the attention for it, Barry is more about attention for himself than anything else.

If you look thru the stats the years people only hit 40 hrs are when the League had less than 3.60 ERA.

Or steroid monsters.

I blame baseball and the inability to limit salaries for the Roid scandals. Players are buisness men and will do anything and everything to be the best. I dont blame them. Did Bill Gates become a billionaire by being "mr.play like a gentleman"? Did George Bush? No the top goes to whoever takes it.

Yeah but Gates wont die an early death from injecting himself with his "business sense".

Baseball is soley to blame for not installing drug testing measures in the late 70s early 80s.

Not really, most of the blame lies on the MLBPA since their union has fought any attempt at testing until recently. The testing in the minor leagues is there only because the union is no there and it is one of the cleanest areas in sport, then they get to the big leagues and everyone else was doing it so they have to just to keep up.

/yeah Barry is an ass
//great player before steroids
///stupid asshat for his ego
 
MBK [TotalFark]
2005-05-25 01:27:02 AM  
I'm sick of all these bandwagon Sosa haters. How quickly we forget that he was the ONLY reason to watch the Cubs from the late 90s-2003. The guy has one bad year, and everyone jumps on his back like he ruined the team. BAKER ruined the farkin team. Baker does NOT know how to manage young pitchers, as we see the injuries with Wood/Prior/Zambrano. Baker also does not know how to manage playoff teams. Get off Sosa's back and realize that The Cubs would be on the bottom of the NL for 10+ more years if it wasn't for him. He put Baseball back in Chicago, so fark all you bangwagon jumpers who started watching in 2002.

/rant
//Wee first double slash
 
2005-05-25 01:27:39 AM  
Bonds sucks! He's only good because of the 'roids! Go Cubs!!!
 
2005-05-25 01:28:29 AM  
longsmoke:

get your shots in now, because when he comes back and breaks the last two or three records he hasn't broken yet, you chumps will have to swallow it... i know it's tough for you to accept that a 40 year old man can do all those things while most of you can't even get off the couch unless it's to get a bag of chips...

He aint coming back, just like McGuire roids has killed a part of his body. Neither of them are qualified to carry Ruths or Aarons jock.

It would be funny to see him come back and hit fewer HRs than Giambi though.

/any of you that think hes not juicing are just fooling yourselves
 
2005-05-25 01:32:25 AM  
longsmoke:

Amen, pal!

/Giants fan.
//Say what you will about Bonds, I'm used to it by now.
 
2005-05-25 01:33:34 AM  
dameron
I wonder what substance Roger Maris (.260/.345/.821) took to go from 39 to 61 HR in the pitching friendly 60s?

It was a special combo-elixer called the watering down of pitching via the first wave of franchise expansion in 1961, the expansin of the season from 154 to 162 games, and never being intentionally walked or "pitched around" to because he was batting in front of Mickey Mantle.

As for Bonds, it was greatness mixed with ego with the addition of HGH. I have plenty of contacts in the body building industry who will vouch for the HGH.
 
2005-05-25 01:36:02 AM  
Barry was in the dugout Sunday, no iv in sight.
 
2005-05-25 01:36:34 AM  
Bonds is a joke. I'm torn between three scenarios:

1. He never picks up a bat again, because he can't have enough "knee surgeries" to squeegie the fish tranquilizers out of his system.

2. He makes a triumphant comeback, and on his first swing in a live game, his leg snaps a la Dave Dravecky and falls off into the dirt.

3. In a nationally televised game, in front of all of the people who have been making bs excuses for him, his drug-addled heart, liver, and kidneys all simultaneously liquefy and he collapses into a puddle of over-marketed goo.

Any of those would be good for me, really. Go away, juicer. We don't want you.
 
2005-05-25 01:36:54 AM  
A common use for IV antibiotics is for osteomyelitis. Which is a bone infection, that can be contracted as a result of surgery. Entirely plausible, indeed I would say likely, it's what Barry has. At least at his age and with proper diagnosis it's just acute osteomyelitis and not likely to become chronic osteomyelitis. Also being that his growth plates are fused it can't reak havoc in the end of a long bone, namely the femur, which can require surgery to clear up. Surgery that takes a long time to recover from. Though even with antibiotics and the option of the surgery sometimes amputation still ends up being required.
 
2005-05-25 01:37:11 AM  
Silent Mike:

Amen, pal!

/Giants fan.
//Say what you will about Bonds, I'm used to it by now.



Bonds is done, like the Giants. They didnt prepare without him so they will suck for a long time to come since every move had to have his approval.
 
2005-05-25 01:38:33 AM  
galumph200:

It was a special combo-elixer called the watering down of pitching via the first wave of franchise expansion in 1961, the expansin of the season from 154 to 162 games, and never being intentionally walked or "pitched around" to because he was batting in front of Mickey Mantle.

As for Bonds, it was greatness mixed with ego with the addition of HGH. I have plenty of contacts in the body building industry who will vouch for the HGH.


Yeah having the protection will help and I have heard the same thing about HGH.
 
2005-05-25 01:39:09 AM  
Habemus rectum!

Habemus rectum!? Damn near killed him
 
2005-05-25 01:39:12 AM  
bjthedj

In his third season in the majors Bonds' manager with the Pirates said Barry was the greatest player he'd ever seen. This is when Barry wasn't big. He was already on his way to becoming one of the greatest hitters ever. And was stealing bases like he might want to persue at least Lou Brock's career numbers.
 
2005-05-25 01:42:26 AM  
MBK

Woods and Zambrano would be fine if they stopped trying to throw every fastball at 98 mph. There's maybe 5 pitchers who can do it and not hurt themselves. Woods and Zambrano aren't among the five. And it's up to a pitcher to decide how to pitch. Plus let's not forget Sammy has a thing for striking out, a lot. Hard to help a team when you're striking out instead of drawing walks or hitting short bloopers into the out field.
 
2005-05-25 01:44:20 AM  
Before:




After:



/Giants suck
//NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
 
2005-05-25 01:46:34 AM  
Barry Bonds, I remember when he wasnt good enough to yell BOOOO at, Now, well I still Yell BOOOOO!!!!!!

I'm not hating on him, Its just that noone is bigger than the game, and he used drugs to be the "Baseball Great" he is today. My opinion stands......He's over paid & Over rated.

/longs for the days of the Red Man chewing tobacco, and the smell of the leather ball glove and sunflower seeds.
 
2005-05-25 01:47:39 AM  
I can't wait for that punk to come back. Now that his BALCO connection is gone, now that he faces testing, I can't wait. Sure, he's only looking at random testing, but Bonds knows any claim to a legacy goes up in smoke with one positive test, albeit random.

It's killing him. He needs to come back and "prove" he wasn't on roids by duplicating past performance. But, oh there's the good part, he *was* juiced. If he gets caught, his career was for nothing, zero, zilch. But he needs to figure out how to come back and not put up a geriatric season like the 40+ year old he is. LOL, Barry. You are farked. Oh, I mean you have a debilitating knee condition.
 
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