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(Newsday)   Your daughter has been suspended from the softball team for violating team policy. Do you: A) Man up and accept the decision? B) Get the team policy changed? Or, C) Beat the coach with an aluminum bat during practice?   (newsday.com) divider line 102
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13739 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 May 2005 at 8:57 PM (10 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



102 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2005-05-18 02:27:18 PM  
Ooh! I love choose your own adventure stories.

*turns to page 98*
 
2005-05-18 02:29:19 PM  
GooberMcFly: Ooh! I love choose your own adventure stories.

*turns to page 98*


ROFL! I loved those when I was a kid!

Thanks for the laugh!
 
2005-05-18 02:33:26 PM  
Okay, seriously... WTF?

They don't say what the daughter violated... and, NO ONE jumped in to end it but said daughter??

And there was an assistant coach there?

What a bunch of pansies!
 
2005-05-18 02:34:16 PM  
A, but since I'm drunk, I'll have to opt for C.
 
2005-05-18 02:34:31 PM  
What's worse? Suspending a player from your softball team or getting your ass kicked by an art teacher?
 
2005-05-18 02:34:51 PM  
GooberMcFly: Ooh! I love choose your own adventure stories.


I'd use all my fingers to hold the spots to go back to....sometimes my penis if I was really lost.
 
2005-05-18 02:37:58 PM  
Well, considering that the article has been greenlit on Fark, I'm gonna guess that someone went with "C".
 
2005-05-18 02:38:50 PM  
well the assistant coach could have been a female, and they did call 911. It could have also happened in just a couple of seconds... although these instances feel like they take a life time when they are going on.


Oh and getting your ass kicked by an art teacher has got to suck.
 
2005-05-18 02:39:20 PM  
Was his last name "Marsh"?



What...whatchya gonna do about it? huh?
 
2005-05-18 02:40:02 PM  
Nabb1:

Well, considering that the article has been greenlit on Fark, I'm gonna guess that someone went with "C".

Ding, ding!

Johnny, tell Nabb1 what he's won.
 
2005-05-18 02:40:57 PM  
I'd use all my fingers to hold the spots to go back to....sometimes my penis if I was really lost.

Oh, oh, me too! Uh... I mean... my toes, not my penis.
 
2005-05-18 02:41:38 PM  
A newwwwwww car!
 
2005-05-18 02:42:13 PM  
My name is Mud.
 
2005-05-18 02:44:17 PM  

M-M-M-M-Mud

/I offer nothing to this thread

 
2005-05-18 02:46:24 PM  
Some Bass Playing Guy: Ding, ding!

Johnny, tell Nabb1 what he's won.


An all expenses paid trip to beautiful NEW ORLEANS!
 
2005-05-18 02:54:17 PM  
Jeez. And people say I take games too seriously.
 
2005-05-18 02:57:08 PM  
The coach should get revenge by farking the daughter.
 
2005-05-18 03:01:19 PM  
Well, as a coach of my kid's ball teams, I can understand the mindset that lets things get out of hand. Not that I'd let loose, mind you, but my blood's boiled on more than a few occasions over some asshat father. Not everyone is the model of restraint that I am.
 
2005-05-18 03:08:08 PM  
D) All of the above.

An aluminum bat goes a long ways towards policy change.
 
2005-05-18 03:10:14 PM  
The girl didn't attend a game because it conflicted with prom. As a result, coach suspended her for three days.

Picture of father, who is a teacher in another town (coincidentally, the school that his daughter's team played against) is here... wtnh.com

/lives in Connecticut/
 
2005-05-18 03:10:26 PM  
I think we're all ignoring the most important part of this issue: what exactly was the girl being suspended from the team for?
 
2005-05-18 03:19:17 PM  
AuntofDogface

I'm pleased to see that Dr. Mel is still doing the weather. :-)


/moved from Connecticut to Mass almost two years ago. I have friends with kids in Hamden, so I'm hoping to hear some more juicy details.
 
2005-05-18 03:21:05 PM  
"Out of consideration for those involved, we ask you to respect everyone's privacy during this difficult time."

A message seeking comment was left with Picard on Wednesday.
 
2005-05-18 03:21:14 PM  
Scheduling a game that conflicts with the prom sucks. Not beating with a baseball bat sucks, but it still sucks.
 
2005-05-18 03:40:11 PM  
legislation may be expanded to include coaches

Yeah because with out legislation people wouldn't know its wrong to beat people up with baseball bats.

//don't understand the need to legislate everything.
 
2005-05-18 03:52:42 PM  
2005-05-18 03:10:26 PM Alexis

I think we're all ignoring the most important part of this issue: what exactly was the girl being suspended from the team for?

Yeah, that's much more important than some guy getting beaten nearly to death with a baseball bat.
 
2005-05-18 03:56:50 PM  
sigdiamond2000:

Yeah, that's much more important than some guy getting beaten nearly to death with a baseball bat.

Agreed. If your kids have more common sense then you, it's time to seek counselling.
 
2005-05-18 05:31:31 PM  
So.... Does the girl get to stay on the team?
 
2005-05-18 05:31:41 PM  
The attack comes less than a week after state representatives approved a bill that would make it a felony to assault referees, umpires and other sports officials. The proposal calls for a maximum prison term of five years and a fine of up to $5,000.

Discuss hate crimes now please.
 
2005-05-18 05:50:13 PM  
I was a graduate assistant/assistant sports information director at an unnamed Jesuit college located in Jersey City, N.J.

Speaking from experience I can safely say that THERE IS NOTHING CRAZIER THAN A SOFTBALL PARENT.
 
2005-05-18 06:08:00 PM  
D) have the entire softball team make out.
 
2005-05-18 06:36:33 PM  
D) Nail the coach's wife.
 
2005-05-18 09:01:30 PM  
Quick1

Have you seen most female softball players?

/Ugh
//I'd watch too
 
2005-05-18 09:02:09 PM  
E) Nail the coach's wife and the entire softball team
 
2005-05-18 09:02:58 PM  
Aluminum sucks!!! When i was 8 i went to my friends house after i got back from the dentist to get my cavity filled. they convinced me to bite into aluminum. it hurt and i dont like aluminum anymore.

/Still plottin my revenge!!!
 
2005-05-18 09:04:19 PM  
You can't choose all of the above, because A negates both B and C.
 
2005-05-18 09:06:41 PM  
i never knew artsy types had that in them.
 
2005-05-18 09:07:29 PM  
I present to you, Jenny Finch. Not just a softball player, but also a fine piece of ass:

[image from espn.go.com too old to be available]

Would I hit it with an aluminum bat? Yes, yes I would.
 
2005-05-18 09:07:53 PM  
That'll learn him.
 
2005-05-18 09:09:42 PM  
Pic of the softball team:
[image from sha-excelsior.org too old to be available]


Someone might want to mirror that...
 
2005-05-18 09:11:40 PM  
PowerSlacker: Top row, far left. Also hittable.

Top row, third from left. Yes indeed; that is definitly hittable.

And lastly, middle row, far left. You know the rest...
 
2005-05-18 09:14:21 PM  
Johnny, tell Nabb1 what he's won.

A band new Toy Yoda
 
2005-05-18 09:14:36 PM  
haven't even read the article, but i am gonna go with number 3!!!!!
 
2005-05-18 09:15:07 PM  
I'll take "Law & Order plots" for $500 Alex.
 
2005-05-18 09:15:10 PM  
PICARD: Number two,they are in violation of the prime directive; which includes team policy
RIKER: Sir?
Picard: Hit them with an Aluminum baseball bat: SHIELDS UP!
RIKER:SIR?
PICARD: Fcuk it, i'll do it myself; Ensign-red-jersey-Crovo, report to the holodeck for away party training
Worf: I'm sick of his shiat
 
2005-05-18 09:16:17 PM  
I think when I have kids (or when my girlfriends son gets old enough to play sports), I am going to carry a tazer around with me for all the asshole parents that get out of hand. I think they will quickly learn not to whine as much when a shatload of volts going through them.

I think most assume that there kids and sports are somehow their mealticket later in life. Sorry papa, but just because your kid is good in high school does not constitute an NFL or NBA player.

Case in point; Uncle Rico.
 
2005-05-18 09:19:02 PM  
Well, considering the fact that this is fark, I'm going to say it was probably C.
 
2005-05-18 09:20:26 PM  
How can any of you asshats justify pacifism when this coach was clearly getting in the way of the daughter's million$+ softball career?

This guy did what any rational art teacher would do.
 
2005-05-18 09:20:59 PM  
hooray ! hamden CT made fark !

so what happened? something about an art teacher?
 
2005-05-18 09:23:17 PM  
Looks like Picard "made it so" on this guy's noggin.
 
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