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(Yahoo)   Man shoots himself in rectory. Huh huh huh...."rectory"   ( divider line
    More: Asinine  
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4552 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Apr 2002 at 7:43 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

40 Comments     (+0 »)
2002-04-03 07:45:26 PM  
He was also playing EverQuest at the time.
2002-04-03 07:45:37 PM  
2002-04-03 07:45:48 PM  
Must have been a Catholic priest after he found out he was being indicted.
2002-04-03 07:46:16 PM  
I heard this story earlier today, he is expected to live. A miracle!
2002-04-03 07:46:37 PM  
really not funny. does everyone understand that after 9/11 people are just a bit jittery here in manhattan? can't everyone just be a bit sane for a while? please?
2002-04-03 07:50:30 PM  
Why does everyone shoot themselves? Cant they do some thing better and volunteer to be a moving target for someone or something?
2002-04-03 07:51:26 PM  
Billy: While in the rectory, my uncle was shot in the butt.

Sister Mary: Rectum, Billy, rectum.

Billy: Wrecked him? It nearly killed him!
2002-04-03 07:53:11 PM  
GUY= is it a sin to have a lobotomy father?
GUY= oh goody, blam.
2002-04-03 07:53:36 PM  
he he. catholic priests like little boys. he he.
2002-04-03 07:55:16 PM  
NEW YORK - A man who said he was depressed shot himself in the head Wednesday in the rectory of St. Patrick's Cathedral while talking with a priest, authorities and church officials said.

I don't know too many happy people that try to blow their head off in front of a priest. (Palistinians aside of course)
2002-04-03 07:56:49 PM  
Kolacky that's one of the funniest replies i have ever seen!!
2002-04-03 08:00:50 PM  
Was he getting buttfarked at the time?
2002-04-03 08:04:08 PM  
ermm.. this is unfunny. deserves a sad tag.
2002-04-03 08:08:57 PM  
Pmd7176 of course this is sad. A human being, for whatever reason, felt his life was so miserable, and saw no end or alternate solution to his misery, that he attempted to kill himself. However, if we don't find a way to laugh at the strange events our world we'll all end up like him.
2002-04-03 08:09:25 PM  
"Man Shoots Himself in Rectory
Wed Apr 3, 3:08 PM ET

NEW YORK - A man who said he was depressed shot himself in the head Wednesday in the rectory of St. Patrick's Cathedral while talking with a priest, authorities and church officials said.

The man was taken to a hospital; his condition was not immediately known. The priest was not hurt.

The Roman Catholic cathedral is on Fifth Avenue in busy midtown Manhattan."

Is that possibly the most CRAPTACULAR writing I've ever seen? It sounds like a 5 year old and a 3rd grader colaborated on the sentance structure. I swear if I was a reporter, heck, if I wrote like that normally I'd have to shoot myself too.
2002-04-03 08:12:12 PM  
well better in a rectory than in his rectum..

i guess you could say he got "recked"

hahah.. oh i kill me.. ba-da boom.
2002-04-03 08:26:16 PM  
Virion: In your scathing review of the reporter's writing ability, you managed to misspell "collaborated" and "sentence". Perhaps it is time to make good on your promise...
2002-04-03 08:26:59 PM  
aww kolocky just said everything i said but butter.
2002-04-03 08:37:48 PM  
Aliquis i agree - and while i am in Cali i can feel for this but what the Fark we are posting on Fark

hilarious headline
2002-04-03 09:04:24 PM  
Lets see, a guy shoots himself, thats "assine".
I guess that would make the farking idiot that gave the tag "sad"
2002-04-03 09:05:12 PM  
Huh huh huh.... asinine....
2002-04-03 09:05:40 PM  
Ever notice how a priest is trained in a seminary, and then goes and lives in a rectory post training?

And I totally agree on the writing Virion. It was very bad. It made me worry. I wonder who wrote it. They are bad at writing.

2002-04-03 09:26:35 PM  
2002-04-03 09:44:45 PM  
landoverbaptist is going to have a field day over this one.
2002-04-03 10:02:11 PM  
so, what? do they just sew it closed?
2002-04-03 10:47:40 PM  
Mightyatom13: you were so quick to judge, eh? For one thing, typing in haste before a class is acceptable, and another: I was talking about WRITING SKILL not spelling, the writing is crap :).
2002-04-03 10:51:55 PM  
Tee hee, "asinine" sounds like "ass"! That explains the butt on the tag and how this article is funny! Tee hee, Fark isn't manned and visited by idiots!! Tee hee!
2002-04-03 10:58:36 PM  
Jeeze, if I were going to commit suicide, I sure as fark would not do it in front of a priest. What did he want to do? Ensure his entry into heaven? Suicide is a sin, so did he want to confess his commission of the sin of suicide with his dying breath?

DUDE: Oh, and Father, there's one more sin I wish to confess.
PRIEST: What is it, my son?
DUDE: Well, (BLAM!!!!) (choke- it---s --hack, hack--- the ssssssiiiiin.... Cough... of sui (choke) cide.... (expires)
PRIEST: Whoops- you didn't leave enough time to perform penance. I guess you're goin' to hell, buddy.
2002-04-03 11:57:47 PM  

I don't see what's funny about this. Most of the stuff here is humorous - this is just stupid. This is dumb. maybe there's something wrong with my sense of humor - but this to me is just really not funny.
2002-04-04 12:01:22 AM  
The only real problem with threads like this is that they virtually DEMAND that you have the I.Q. of a brain damaged sea otter to find them amusing. If you're out of grade school and still find humor in the fact that "Rectory" and "Rectum" share four letters, I'd strongly suggest moving out of Nashville and getting shock therapy.
2002-04-04 12:22:10 AM  
Kidman, between you and this article's horrible writing I have had a good if only the "rectum-ory" jokes would end
2002-04-04 12:25:11 AM  
....... ..... ..... ... .... ... ... ....... ..... .... ..... ....... ...... .... . . . .... .......

What's it mean? (Honestly, if you can tell me what random letters/numbers that is you'd genuinely amaze me.)
2002-04-04 12:30:21 AM  
....... ..... ..... ... .... ... ... ....... ..... .... ..... ....... ...... .... . . . .... .......
This is what Note Pad says they are.
2002-04-04 12:38:30 AM  
Is it Morse code? If so, don't look at me, I only know SOS in morse...
2002-04-04 02:29:05 AM  
Honestly, I'm not saying anything about this guy. Believe me, i work and live in manhattan and i personally see about 30 crazy people on the street a day. Perhaps this wasn't funny to me because i work about six blocks away from where this happened. We have a tv in our office and this came up as a news flash. So all of us are instantly fearing it is yet another terrorist attack because of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict or something. There were cop cars lined up and down Fifth Avenue and they had traffic blocked off. I mean, really, people here do get a little freaked out when this stuff happens now because we automatically expect the worse. I don't want to pay for the nuts to walk around either. A few years ago, i was chased around by one of those crazy people and was scared to death to take the subway for months as a result. Please, if I fill up a ship with them, will you take them to your state for a bit so we can have some peace?

As for the joke, now I see what you meant. But I still don't think it's funny. A rectory is a clerical office located near or within a place of worship. A rectum is an a**hole. He blew his head off - not his bottom. i dunno...i've seen better.

I am quite the chatter tonight.

2002-04-04 02:58:57 AM  
Sigh, not to bring up an old flamewar, but I think most of us should feel relatively safe, and glad that we aren't actually sittin our asses *in* Palestine. I dunno, I suppose it gets under my skin when people think Israeli-Palestinian conflict, they automatically jump the gun with "AMERICA UNDER ATTACK" in their minds or something :)
Although, the beavis and butthead jokes... meh. lol you gotta admit though, you being terrorized by a crazy person in the subway, and then having the fear of it for several months is kind of funny... (I think I just have the nice kind of crazy people in my area)
2002-04-04 07:09:34 AM  
Is "Aliquis" some language for "I have no sense of humor and I see nothing wrong with whining about what a little baby I am to total strangers?"

How the fark can you live & work in Manhattan with a Mayberry RFD attitude?
2002-04-04 09:00:19 AM  
Man suffering from depression commits suicide. Oh that's just a farking hysterical laugh riot that is.
2002-04-04 09:29:27 AM  
Yes we need to laugh at everything horrible that happens in this world.
2002-04-05 08:41:59 AM  
No, Frisky Sheep & Ping127, let's cry & sob & wring our hands. That'll make everything ALL better, right?

Darwin works in mysterious ways.
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