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(Minneapolis Star Tribune)   Frito-Lay might pull fart-fueling Wow. chips off the market; will consumers make a stink?   ( divider line
    More: Weird  
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6806 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Apr 2002 at 6:58 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

46 Comments     (+0 »)
2002-04-03 07:01:40 PM  
This is going to make Wow chip eaters crap their pants.
2002-04-03 07:01:40 PM  
I think I will buy them now that I know they fuel farts!

And farts can fuel cars right?
2002-04-03 07:02:41 PM  
Wow! I have diarreah.
Wow! I fat AND I smell like sh.t.
2002-04-03 07:03:00 PM  
2002-04-03 07:03:03 PM  
Those chips SUCK.
2002-04-03 07:03:32 PM  
Will Budweiser follow suit, thereby ending nasty beer-farts?
2002-04-03 07:05:13 PM  
It was amazing the fear-mongering that got Wow! products yanked. The people negatively affected were minimal, but they made sure Olestra went bye-bye.

And I was so looking forward to fat-free fries.
2002-04-03 07:06:02 PM  
If the consumers have been eating the WOW chips, they are already making a stink.
2002-04-03 07:06:46 PM  
What? I can't be doubled over in pain as high-pressure jets of frothy liquid shiat come streaming from my corroded rectum?

(Quote originally appeared in "The Onion")
2002-04-03 07:08:05 PM  
New and Improved Fritos! Now with 30% less anal leakage!
2002-04-03 07:09:19 PM  
Nothing like a gentic-altered food product to stir up a lil' controversy
2002-04-03 07:12:10 PM  
I better stock up now! I got some spring cleanin to do
2002-04-03 07:13:15 PM  
They only cause "leakage" if you've been eating lard-coated deep-fried bacon grease sandwiches, but if you're eating like crap already why buy WOW chips anyway?
2002-04-03 07:16:46 PM  
Who wrote the headline? Classic, deserves an award.
2002-04-03 07:17:31 PM  
Dude, why didn't I think of it? Wow! spelled Wow. I think I'm gonna start referring to Yahoo! as Yahoo. forevermore...or better yet, Yahoo;
2002-04-03 07:18:20 PM  
I like the idea of incorporating more and more Olestra into ones diet until they shiat so much they lose weight.
2002-04-03 07:20:05 PM  
Note to self. Do not read Fark comments while eating dinner. This causes spewing on the keyboard.
2002-04-03 07:21:54 PM  
'Olestra' is Spanish for 'explosive diarrhea'
2002-04-03 07:24:29 PM  
In case anyone doesn't know:

Olestra is a type of synthetic fat that cannot be absorbed by the body. Therefore, you don't gain weight by eating chips using Olestra instead of regular fat. Of course, since it isn't absorbed by the body, it passes straight through you can causes diarreah (I know I spelled that wrong), among other horrid things.
2002-04-03 07:29:31 PM  
2002-04-03 07:36:24 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-04-03 07:41:20 PM  
Is this the kind of snack that goes a long with an extra-large diet coke?
2002-04-03 07:43:28 PM  
"WOW I crapped my pants" brand adult undergarments......
2002-04-03 07:43:36 PM  

Olestra is a type of synthetic fat that cannot be absorbed by the body.


Therefore, you don't gain weight by eating chips using Olestra instead of regular fat.

Incorrect. You still get carbohydrates from the chips. Eating more carbohydrate calories than you burn will result in gaining fat weight, as easily as, if not more easily than, eating more fat calories than you burn.
2002-04-03 07:50:17 PM  
Crappin' your pants is a lot easier than exercising. That in combination with wearing an abdomizer is a weight losing miracle.
2002-04-03 07:56:24 PM  
It's funny, but I've never met anyone who experienced problems from eating Olestra, Nutri-Sweet, Stevia, or from taking L-Tryptophan suppliments.

I think there's a conspiracy of skinny people who want to preserve the status quo and keep fat people fat by making up crap about new diet foods and products.
2002-04-03 08:05:03 PM  
Browser_snake: If you don't believe it then I challenge you to eat just one large bag of Olestra chips (or an entire can of Olestra Pringles, your choice) over the course of a single day and see what happens.

PS: Do this over a weekend while you're home, though. If you're at work it'll be disastrous.
2002-04-03 08:06:26 PM  
Seriously, I have eaten this shiat before....WOW tortilla chips. Granted, I was on a serious cocaine binge the night before, but holy shiat, it gave me the shiats. I was hurtin like a mutha farka.

Don't ya hate it- when ya takin' a shiat - and the water splash up on yo ass?
2002-04-03 08:06:54 PM  
I overheard some fat people having a conversation. They were each bragging about what medical problems they had from taking phen-phen or something. They were all excited like they had just won the lottery. They would take turns bragging about what they were going to buy with the settlement money.
2002-04-03 08:08:30 PM  
Gotta go with you on this one, Snake. It's a fine product and yet another example of people actually willfully choosing to be fat.

Without Wow chips, all that I'm left with are pretzles - and that just ain't the same!
2002-04-03 08:09:14 PM  
Based on the symptoms I see people complaining about, why aren't you calling for the banning of pinto beans, or for that matter, most of the biomass from Taco Bell?
2002-04-03 08:25:10 PM  
2002-04-03 08:25:28 PM  
I'll started eating snack chips when they make them negative calories and zero fat...until then, it's celery for me
2002-04-03 08:45:08 PM  
so they used to be called 'max'

2002-04-03 09:07:31 PM  
Has the gas industry got wind of this?
2002-04-03 09:08:13 PM  
Just for the sick harmony of rhyme, they need "Cholestra" to come out soon
2002-04-03 09:42:22 PM  
"Live fat, die young, and blow health out your ass!"
2002-04-03 09:55:03 PM  
Man - all the friggin whining when Olestra was released. COME ON PEOPLE!! It's totally obvious when you think about it!

You don't absorb it, it isn't broken down by any digestive reactions, so where does it go? Yep, that's right! You crap it out genius!


This product is designed for peeps who are calorie conscious and trying to limit their intake, yet still crave the fatty foods they've given up. I for one love the Wow! chips and have NEVER had an "incident". Then again, I've never consumed a half a bag (let alone a WHOLE bag) at one sitting before either. If you're in the habit of doing that then take my advice and - STAY AWAY - from Olestra products! There is a *very* good reason plain mineral oil is marketed as an effective laxative!

Thank you.
2002-04-03 09:55:24 PM  
Wow! chips taste like regular potato chips (i.e. bland). I'm all about the Baked Lays. They're sweet and salty like kettle corn, and don't seem as greasy.
2002-04-03 10:01:05 PM  

the whole shiatting thing is still funny
2002-04-03 10:08:05 PM  
Hehe - yeah I must agree, I got more than a few laughs out of the stories that were published when it was first released. There's something pricless about a 300lb. woman in the paper in tears going on about how Olean made her "soil her underwear", neglecting to mention she wolfed down 3 bags of Wow! barbecue chips shortly before the said "incident" occurred. :^)

However, I'm concerned that P&G might listen to this hysteria and actually pull the product. That would be a very *BAD* move, and a great loss to those who are honestly trying to control their diet and eat healthy. It's the folks who want to eat like whales and suffer no consequences that just don't get it.
2002-04-03 10:29:23 PM  
They have "loose stools" at the pub near my joint. When I get really drunk I fall off the chair. When I get even drunker I poo my pants. We dont even HAVE this food in Australia. Go figure!
2002-04-03 10:39:53 PM  
Actually, anyone who is already on a very low-fat diet might appreciate looser stools. Trust me.
2002-04-04 12:16:03 AM  
no, they can't take away my leakies! how am i supposed to engorge myself with junk food without getting even fatter?
2002-04-04 12:49:46 AM  
Hmm...about time for me to have a good colon cleansing....
Hey it's cheaper than going to the doctor and getting douched
2002-04-04 02:03:43 AM  
I work at Frito-Lay myself, at a plant here in Ohio. And no, the plant I work at does not make Dia-Ritos. I heard about this just today--they plan to take the WOW crap off the shelves and see if anyone notices.
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