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(News.com.au)   And now for something completely different: Man begs for UFO to take him   (heraldsun.news.com.au) divider line 63
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4587 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 May 2005 at 1:08 PM (8 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2005-05-15 11:01:52 AM
sounds like somebody's looking for a UPIA.
Unsolicited Probe Up Anus.

Or does the fact that he's begging to be taken make it solicited?
 
2005-05-15 01:00:09 PM
If the aliens are grey midgets only interested in anal probing, I'll pass. On the other hand, if the UFOs are crewed by Amazonian love goddesses, I'll be right there with him.
 
2005-05-15 01:10:10 PM
Vorgon, take me away!
 
2005-05-15 01:13:06 PM
Where's the freaking video they are talking about
 
2005-05-15 01:13:36 PM
 
2005-05-15 01:14:29 PM
Pictures, I wanna see pictures!
 
2005-05-15 01:15:43 PM
X-Files Did It!!
 
2005-05-15 01:18:45 PM
Somone tell him i got him on the schedule for next tuesday.
 
2005-05-15 01:20:00 PM
Hey, Take me too!

I'll leave all ya'll foo's behind in a heartbeat!


/Hopes humans don't taste like chicken to them!
 
2005-05-15 01:21:45 PM
Like Frank Barone -
"Bring me sweet relief!"
 
2005-05-15 01:27:54 PM
I wouldn't have believed that story until that local pizza shop owner confirmed they were UFO's.
 
2005-05-15 01:28:26 PM

Strange things hovering around in Fern Gully? That's not news.
 
2005-05-15 01:30:18 PM
IF he WANTS them to take him, its SPIA(solicited probe in anus) Either way, hes gonna receive a LONG, GENEROUS anal probe. don't forget your tube of KY....
 
2005-05-15 01:30:28 PM
 
2005-05-15 01:35:15 PM
Local pizza shop manager Ned Bulic also took phone pictures and said: "They were definitely alien UFOs. Nothing else could have moved like that."

When you need information on celestial phenomena always ask the pizza guy.
 
2005-05-15 01:38:07 PM
Maybe he was upset that Star Trek was ending.
 
2005-05-15 01:39:10 PM
What, no one else has asked for aliens to take them?

/didnt read article
 
2005-05-15 01:39:29 PM
If he wants to be probed anally that bad, I'm sure there are local gents willing to do him the favor...
 
2005-05-15 01:40:50 PM


 
2005-05-15 01:41:34 PM
That's not different. The whole headline is silly and it's very badly written. I'm putting a stop to the forum. Stop the forum. STOP IT, I say.

/with apologies to Graham.
 
2005-05-15 01:44:04 PM
I was hoping there's be an "alien" thread today. I just want to enormously recommend the Discovery Channel special, "Alien Life," for anyone who gets it. You can preview a trailer at discovery.com (highspeed recommended.)

If you have cable, or can get it for a preview, get it if only for this, it is utterly awesome. Probes exploring an alien-infested planet, better than half the sci-fi movies you ever saw or imagined.

/End aside. Please return to discussing the actual article.
 
2005-05-15 01:45:49 PM
The breath of the morning
I keep forgetting
The smell of the warm summer air

I live in a town
Where you can't smell a thing
You watch your feet
For cracks in the pavement

Up above
Aliens hover
Making home movies
For the folks back home

Of all these weird creatures
Who lock up their spirits
Drill holes in themselves
And live for their secrets

They're all uptight
Uptight.. [x7]

I wish that they'd swoop down in a country lane
Late at night when I'm driving
Take me on board their beautiful ship
Show me the world as I'd love to see it

I'd tell all my friends
But they'd never believe
They'd think that I'd finally lost it completely

I'd show them the stars
And the meaning of life
They'd shut me away
But I'd be all right
All right..

I'm just uptight
Uptight..
 
2005-05-15 01:46:20 PM
I think the aliens took the article away.
 
2005-05-15 01:46:30 PM
submitter:We get it. You like Monty Python. You can stop now.
 
2005-05-15 01:46:31 PM
But who among us can say they've never wanted to be taken by UFOs? Or secretly....very secretly, believed that they were part of some secret life waiting to be awakened?
 
2005-05-15 01:49:24 PM
Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits
On a lurgid bee.
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes
And hooptiously drangle me
with crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon
See if I don't.

 
2005-05-15 01:49:56 PM
oldebayer
Seconded. I found it by accident last night, and it was incredible.

/Depressed that Cymbals of the Illiterati beat me to the FernGully reference.
 
2005-05-15 01:53:22 PM


Mars needs sandwiches, not crazymen!
 
2005-05-15 01:53:27 PM

Could you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up.
 
2005-05-15 01:55:50 PM
blah blah blah orange lights

when they are arranged to spell out "42" I will be impressed
 
2005-05-15 01:59:48 PM
Was this in Fife, Alabama?

/Greyhound...abduct me.
 
2005-05-15 02:00:47 PM
desolationrow: But who among us can say they've never wanted to be taken by UFOs?


Not if they're the Navy kind.

"The shaky video shows a dozen pricks of light forming shapes such as diamonds, lines, characters and what looks like the Southern Cross."

I've seen ominous lights in the sky forming characters and symbols, I got a clear picture of it...

 
2005-05-15 02:02:53 PM
I thought a sure-fire way not to get picked up by aliens was to request to be picked up by aliens. But, then again, perhaps we have not heard back from the ones who requested and didn't come back.
 
2005-05-15 02:13:27 PM
I'd kill to be taken to an alien world, even if it did end badly......I'd get to see an ALIEN WORLD.


Besides, I don't wanna die here, with you assholes. You guys suck.
 
2005-05-15 02:14:58 PM
SilentStrider: sounds like somebody's looking for a UPIA.
Unsolicited Probe Up Anus.


A UPIA and an Unsolicited Probe Up Anus? Two for the price of one?

/UPUA
 
2005-05-15 02:15:19 PM
The whole "take me, UFO" thing has been done already:

... not to mention: .
 
2005-05-15 02:18:56 PM
The way I see it, you gotta die somehow, anyway. May as well be somewhere I haven't seen yet.

Not only would I make the news, but this planet isn't doing me much good.
 
2005-05-15 02:23:24 PM
Damn - I come in here just to post the relevant Radiohead lyrics, but someone already beat me to it.
 
2005-05-15 02:23:28 PM
oldebayer

I was hoping there's be an "alien" thread today. I just want to enormously recommend the Discovery Channel special, "Alien Life," for anyone who gets it.

Thanks for the recommendation! Looking forward to that now.

It is coming up at 2PM PDT today on Discovery HD. Looks like it's on old school Discovery again on Thursday.
 
2005-05-15 02:29:02 PM
Be there a man with soul so dead
Who never to a UFO has said "Take me! For fark sake, take me.

/obscure?
 
2005-05-15 02:34:12 PM
stick quote marks at the end there.
 
2005-05-15 02:44:13 PM
I imagine that the amount of resources and the level of technology necessary to make long range space travel possible would require (inter)species-wide cooperation. The only question I have is: How was this level of cooperation achieved? Through respect and compromise, or through the projection of destructive force? I assume that technological advancement would still be possible despite a violence-reinforced hegemony, but it would come more slowly.

...I suppose this level of cooperation could result from a combination of both. It's so easy to fall into an either/or mindset.

Would the aliens be just as inhuman as we are? I give it 60-40 in favor of 'no'.
 
2005-05-15 02:46:16 PM
oldebayer, Spectrum

If you like Alien Planet, you might want to check out the book it's based on: Expedition-Being an account in words and artwork of the 2358 AD expedition to Darwin IV, by Wayne Douglas Barlowe. He created the entire world and all the critters in it, and then some. I do hope they gave him some credit in the show.
 
2005-05-15 02:55:25 PM

Scrotar may be onto something:


Separated at birth?
 
2005-05-15 02:56:13 PM
GIS for mashed potato mountain turned up nothing.
 
2005-05-15 03:11:30 PM
"Beam me up, Scotty - there's no intelligent life down here" (seen on a bumper sticker)
 
2005-05-15 03:14:05 PM
The shaky video shows a dozen pricks of light forming shapes such as diamonds, lines, characters and what looks like the Southern Cross.

"... a dozen pricks -- uh, I mean a thousand points of light ..."
 
2005-05-15 03:15:04 PM
Yeah, like like that's an original story. Who hasn't wanted that?
 
2005-05-15 03:15:24 PM
Hell, I'd go! If they came down and got me
They could be little green men
That wouldn't stop me
Buzzin' through the galaxy
Who can beat a ride for free?
For all I know, I'm just the perfect fella
Not too white and not too yella.
Get me on that big spaceship--
This could be my hippest trip.
Hey, you UFO guy--Put me first on stand-by!
I'm travellin' light; my attitude's right!
I've seen 'em at night now, don't call me crazy.
They were in the sky and lookin' quite amazin'
Doin' figure eights around the moon
Why'd they have to leave so soon?

Count me in--I ain't no hesitator
I'll jump right aboard and write home later
Sayin' "How are all you folks at home?"
I just got the bug to roam!
Hey, you UFO guy, How you make that thing fly?
Say, I won't tell, I won't say a thing!
Pluto, Saturn, the Aurora Borealis, we'll hit 'em all;
And land in Dallas
There'll be a big parade for me--
I'll make the news, just wait and see!

I'll tell 'em about my galactic flight
We were buzzin' left and whizzin' right.
So put your brakes on where you be and plunk that
Saucer down by me!
Hey, you skinny spaceman--
Can't you see I'm on the lam?
Come on you flyin' saucer,
Won't you make me an offer?
I'll book the flight--the time is right!
I've got my bags and got my shots
So come on, Shorty
Read my thoughts!

--Dan Hicks
"Hell, I'd go!"
 
2005-05-15 04:45:28 PM
 
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