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(Reuters)   Newlyweds sue hotel after traditional "tease the newlyweds" celebration leads to broken arm   ( divider line
    More: Dumbass  
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25083 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 May 2005 at 4:52 AM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

31 Comments     (+0 »)
2005-05-12 05:23:46 AM  
"The Vance County district attorney told NBC-17 state obscenity laws may stick, but he has more important crimes to worry about." Wow that has to be a first in recent years.
2005-05-12 05:37:53 AM  
Also, the Vance County DA has little to no jurisdiction for cases in Shanghai.
2005-05-12 05:47:14 AM  
Actually, I think Vance county has just been annexed by China.

Oh wait, no, now they've offered two Pandas as a peace offering. Nevermind.
2005-05-12 05:54:58 AM  
"My husband slipped right after he stood up on the bed to get ready for the games," Fang told the Shanghai Daily.

Speechless. Absolutely speechless.
2005-05-12 05:55:46 AM  
Chinese man sues hote for his life long agility problem, confirms suspicions that the Chinese are studying American culture avidly
2005-05-12 06:14:37 AM  
You gets married during an inauspicious lunar cycle, you takes your chances!

Sounds like the husband got shanghai'd. ZING!

/likes them bedroom games
2005-05-12 06:21:04 AM  
Newly wed games? Like, Pin the penis in the vagina?
2005-05-12 06:24:56 AM  
Your whole family and your friends tease you on your wedding night? Kinky!!!
2005-05-12 06:25:26 AM  
Man up, Nancy!
2005-05-12 06:35:45 AM  
"It happened within seconds without any big movement."

Too... many... punchlines... must... resist... the... urge...
2005-05-12 06:55:56 AM  
2005-05-12 06:21:04 AM GMC

Newly wed games? Like, Pin the penis in the vagina?

Maybe it's the sleep deprevation talking, but that is the funniest damn thing I've read in a while and I expect to chuckle about it for a while.

\or in my 23rd hour awake giggle senslessly
\\damn network issues...
2005-05-12 06:57:35 AM  
The trouble started after the groom asked for a 69 and the bride replied, "Fark off. I'm not cooking at this time of night."
2005-05-12 07:14:58 AM  
Purple_Jack wins
2005-05-12 07:22:32 AM  
took me a minute to get Purple_jack's

hey its 430am
2005-05-12 08:02:27 AM  
He's lucky he got off with just a broken arm...
[image from too old to be available]

"Woman! WOAH!-MAN! Wooooooooaaaaahhhh-MAN!"
2005-05-12 08:10:15 AM  
It's a snap!
2005-05-12 08:26:30 AM  
Eastern Mythology and Ritual is a complete mystery to me.
2005-05-12 08:26:51 AM  
*golf claps for obscure Mike Meyers referrence*
2005-05-12 08:32:47 AM  
It ain't a good wedding night without some physical injury...

...if you don't have at least rug burn, you ain't doing it right...or enough :)
2005-05-12 08:44:23 AM  
Newly-weds sue hotel after traditional tease-the-newlyweds celebration leads to broken arm

In the interests of consistency, should that be "tease-the-newly-weds"?
2005-05-12 08:47:52 AM  
only in america....oh wait
2005-05-12 08:55:39 AM  
The groom was `killing kittens' a bit too vigorously, me thinks.
2005-05-12 09:24:21 AM  
Step 1: Do something stupid
Step 2: Sue someone
Step 3: Profit?
2005-05-12 09:32:05 AM  

2005-05-12 09:53:56 AM  
The signs pointed towards a negative cycle, there's nothing here that should be surprising.
2005-05-12 10:08:47 AM  
"On top of that, the lunar cycle began relatively late this year, meaning the year did not contain "lichun..."

A whole year of no lickin damn... oh wait, nevermind
2005-05-12 10:17:54 AM  
I think I jwould have rather broken the shiate out of my arm than go to bed with a chick named FANG!!!!!
2005-05-12 11:35:35 AM  
chumpchange: Actually, I think Vance county has just been annexed by China.

Damn Chinese!
2005-05-12 12:29:14 PM  
That's one tough consummation. Do they have EMT's standing by when the bride is ovulating? Perhaps it's a clever family planning strategy.
2005-05-12 03:36:13 PM  
meekychuppet: Too... many... punchlines... must... resist... the... urge...

William Shatner surfs Fark. This is so cool.
2005-05-12 05:08:40 PM  
One to beam up. There's no intelligent life down here.
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