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(Arizona Republic)   Jail chaplain reprimanded for performing an unauthorized exorcism on an inmate   (arizonarepublic.com) divider line 28
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1516 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Apr 2002 at 1:56 PM (12 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



28 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2002-04-02 01:59:03 PM
Too bad he had to do it rectally.
 
2002-04-02 01:59:40 PM
Sounds like "thirst ghost"!
 
2002-04-02 02:01:13 PM
According to the Priest, the man's devil was in his penis.
 
43%
2002-04-02 02:01:26 PM
Santa Claus-a is a-coarsing through your veins-a. Be gone jolly old elf-a. Begone and let the light of the Tooth-a Fairy in-a. In the name of quarters and molars. Be Gone!

oh, wait.
 
2002-04-02 02:01:28 PM
I wonder if he at least gave the kid a reach around...
 
2002-04-02 02:02:32 PM
"told not to do it again"

"Naugty Chaplain. You MUSN'T DO THAT"
 
2002-04-02 02:02:50 PM
a brief affair in which a believer lays his hands on somebody and orders the devil to leave in Jesus' name.

Yeah it's an exorcism, (wink wink, nudge nudge)
 
2002-04-02 02:04:26 PM
By the way, everyone, it was a female inmate...
 
2002-04-02 02:05:36 PM
Too bad he had to do it vaginally.
 
2002-04-02 02:06:30 PM
"It's OK with me the way they handled it," he said in a telephone interview. "I have given it up to God."

Brevets? is that you?
 
2002-04-02 02:06:31 PM
How many authorized ones does he do?
 
2002-04-02 02:07:28 PM
"Edosomwan has promised not to drive out demons on the sheriff's watch any longer"

yes, i would prefer that you allow the demons to hang around when i'm on duty.
 
2002-04-02 02:07:30 PM
"Scary-dead movies"???
 
2002-04-02 02:12:08 PM
The Priest was convinced the inmate was possesed when the inmate kept telling other prisoners that their mothers ate kitty litter.
 
2002-04-02 02:14:24 PM
"Your Mother Sews Socks in Hell"
 
2002-04-02 02:15:42 PM
Chided? Not jailed?
 
2002-04-02 02:16:28 PM
"The thread is on the floor, the thread is on the floor."
 
2002-04-02 02:18:05 PM
a Pentecostal deliverance can be a brief affair in which a believer lays his hands on somebody and orders the devil to leave in Jesus' name.

Ya...that'll work...

"When pressed what rituals she performed, she recanted, saying that she only thought about the devil, including the viewing of scary-dead movies and singing satanic lyrics in songs," the incident report said.

WTF is a scary-dead movie? And she only sang the "satanic lyrics" not the rest?
 
2002-04-02 02:18:17 PM
now, touch god's little helper.. .
 
2002-04-02 02:19:48 PM
don't you want to be closer to jesus?
 
2002-04-02 02:20:29 PM
Well, now that that old Debbil is out of her, she can be turned loose, and she'll never do naughty stuff again!

Why didn't that work for that 17 year old in Texas, I wonder...
 
2002-04-02 02:24:59 PM
I think her satanic worship was that she occasionally watched horror flicks and sang non-religeous songs. Maybe even something from Bad Religeon.
 
2002-04-02 02:28:43 PM
The devil made me do it?
 
2002-04-02 02:34:09 PM
jonny said "debbil just come on back if you ever want to try
again, I done told you once you old sum of a biach i'm the
best that's ever been."
 
2002-04-02 02:51:04 PM
Bevets or someone should be showing up to remind us not to laugh, we don't know but that maybe the woman really was posessed by demons in 5.. 4.. 3... 2...
 
2002-04-02 02:53:29 PM
And while we're making fun of goofy religious practices, check out this classic from the onion:

Bereaved? Come bathe in the healing light of my cock.

Jesus loves you. No really, he really loves you...
 
2002-04-02 02:55:42 PM
 
2002-04-02 03:39:12 PM
"Jail chaplain jailed for performing an unauthorized exorcism on an inmate"

Or at least how it should read...
 
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