Go you crazy geeks, go!!!

MoonSage:

5 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
4 - Episode IV: A New Hope
3 - Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi
2 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones
1 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace



That's really the only option.

I'm with Ambassador... same list.

Larry-Horse:

5 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
4 - Episode IV: A New Hope
3 - Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi
2 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones
1 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace

That's really the only option.

Frigthening that this is how we get Tfer's to agree for once.

And of course I agree with it HA!

5 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
4 - Episode IV: A New Hope
3 - Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi
2 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace
1 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones

I hate bandwagons, so here's my list:

5. RotJ
4. ANH
3. TESB
2. AotC
1. TPM

I'm hoping RotS will take its place at number 4 or higher.

5 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
4 - Episode IV: A New Hope
3 - Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi
2 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones
1 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace

MoonSage:

5 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
4 - Episode IV: A New Hope
3 - Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi
2 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones
1 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace

Ditto.

Search For Spock was the best one.

Right now, it's got the results for Episode V being above 5 points average. How can that be?

Atvar: Right now, it's got the results for Episode V being above 5 points average. How can that be?

It allowed me to select numbers 1 through 10 when making my choices, although I followed the rules.

MoonSage:

5 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
4 - Episode IV: A New Hope
3 - Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi
2 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones
1 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace

Ummm... duh.

Duh, indeed.

SurgeonDryHog:

It allowed me to select numbers 1 through 10 when making my choices, although I followed the rules.

Really? Not me. I only got 1-5.

Sure, what he hell, I'll be the odd man out.

I hated Return of the Jedi. I remember walking out of the theater in 1984 thinking how did they blow it that badly? The first act (rescue of Han) was utterly boring. And the Ewoks... don't get me started.

Now, the first act of ESB is he best 40 minutes of any Star Wars movie. However, I feel it seriously drags in the middle during the Yoda forest scenes. Whenever I watch it now, I skip over 'em.

Anyways, for best to worst:

ANH
ESB
AOTC
TPM
RotJ

And, actually, I might have rated AOTC above ESB (blasphemy!) if it weren't for the the horrid acting during the romantic scenes (shudder). I feel AOTC really is under-rated. It's a really fun advenure movie, brought down heavily by the lack of chemistry between Hayden & Portman.

Just my $0.02

It allowed me to vote 1-10 as well, although I played by the rules too.

5 Empire Strikes Back
4 Attack of the Clones
3 A New Hope
2 Return of the Jedi
1 Phantom Menace

/geek chic

Atvar: Really? Not me. I only got 1-5.

Maybe Cincinatti.com just knows that my opinion counts twice as much as most people's, and I blew my chance.

I don't know if it would have accepted my votes if I had submitted them, since I didn't try. But yes, I did have the option of selecting from 1 to 10 for some reason.

HolyZoo:

I feel AOTC really is under-rated. It's a really fun advenure movie, brought down heavily by the lack of chemistry between Hayden & Portman.

I'm glad I wasn't the only one. The casting choice of Hayden Christensen ruined that movie, and it looks like it damaged the current one as well. Change that casting choice, and the movie will be really good.

Correction: I don't know if it would have accepted votes above 5 if I had submitted them, since I didn't try.

Well, I just tried submitting Empire Strikes Back with a 10 and A New Hope with a 9, and it didn't give me any indication my vote didn't count, even though I'd already voted. How weird.

SurgeonDryHog:

Well, I just tried submitting Empire Strikes Back with a 10 and A New Hope with a 9, and it didn't give me any indication my vote didn't count, even though I'd already voted. How weird.

I did the same thing. The fact that ESB is at 5.09 means something, though.

I did the same thing. The fact that ESB is at 5.09 means something, though.

It means that most people are playing by the rules despite this poll being fundamentally flawed. That, or it means that ESB goes to eleven.

The casting choice of Hayden Christensen ruined that movie, and it looks like it damaged the current one as well.

Based on the reviews so ar (it's at 88% at Rotten Tomatoes, and he Kevin Smith review was glowing) I'm guardedly opimistic. Indeed, several reviewers said that they hated Christensen's job in AOTC, but that it was convincing in RotS.

/crosses fingers

My wife:

ROTJ
ANH
TESB
TPM
AOTC

MoonSage hit it out of the park on the first pitch.

Current standings:

Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999) 2.93
Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002) 3.37
Episode IV - A New Hope (1977) 4.82
Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980) 5.09
Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983) 4.57

This has been greenlit? How odd...

My picks:

5 - Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back
4 - Episode IV - A New Hope
3 - Episode II - Attack of the Clones
2 - Episode VI - Return of the Jedi
1 - Episode I - The Phantom Menace

Seeing how Empire was 'dark' and everyone is claiming the new one is the darkest of all of them I do have high hopes for it. That being said if it doesn't at least equal Empire I say we start a yearly Fark party to piss on George Lucas' grave - when the time comes.

5 - The Empire Strikes Back
4 - A New Hope
3 - Return of the Jedi
2 - The Phantom Menace
1 - Attack of the Clones (piece of shiat)

VI - Return
V - Empire
IV - New Hope
II - Clones
I - Phantom


I'm sensing a pattern... wonder where that III is going...

5 - The Empire Strikes Back
4 - A New Hope
3 - Return of the Jedi
2 - The Phantom Menace
1 - Attack of the Clones (Can I give it a "0"?)

Honestly, after "Empire", they've gotten so silly as to be almost unwatchable.

5 - Episode IV: A New Hope
4 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones
3 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
2 - Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi
1 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace

I *really* liked Episode II.

5 - Episode IV: A New Hope
4 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
3 - Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi
2 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones
1 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace

There is really NO other way to order this. All you other people are just wrong!!!

5 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
4 - Episode IV: A New Hope
3 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones
2 - Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
1 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace

AotC is severely underrated. It gets the nod over RotJ for having no Ewoks and having no scene in it worse than the Luke/Leia treehouse conversation. Still the worst moment in the entire series.

hmm...

in my opinnion, ROTJ was the start of Lucas going a bit too overboard.

The Phantom Menace was obviously completely overboard as well as being fully bent over the desk by JarJar.

Attack of the Clones was really only made by all the jedi's fighting with each other. especially Yoda. if it didn't have that, it would have been worse than TPM.

So it looks like the main argument here on fark is which is better?

TESB or ANH?

i voted the empire strikes back then a new hope.

but what would i know?

5 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
4 - Episode IV: A New Hope
3 - Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi
1 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace
2 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones

Best to worse

1 Empire
2 Phantom
3 Original
4 Clones
5 Return

Of course Empire is the best. Phantom Menace is a very UNDER-rated movie. Not as good as Empire but a very VERY good film. Original and Clones were good. Return sucked.

1. Star Trek II : The Wrath of Khan
2. Star Trek III : The Search for Spock
3. Star Trek : The Motion Picture
4. Star Trek V : The Final Frontier
5. Star Trek IV : The Voyage Home
6. Star Trek Generations
7. Star Trek VI : The Undiscovered Country
8. Star Trek First Contact
9. Star Trek IX: Insurrection

5. Empire Strikes Back
4. A New Hope
3. Jedi Strikes Back
2. Phantom Menace
1. Attack of the Clones

Is this not obvious?

5-Empire Strikes Back
4-Return of the Jedi
3-Attack of the Clones
2-A New Hope
1-Phantom Menace

Although I'd put many of them together if I could. I felt AotC and A New Hope are about on the same level. I really enjoy Jedi, probably because it's the first star wars movie I saw. None of the prequels are remotely as bad as most people say. All this raping your childhood business needs to stop. I watched TPM tonight and was thoroughly entertained.

I'm not a huge star wars fan, but honestly, I thought the phantom menace was better than attack of the clones. That movie was just complete and utter shiat. The acting was just atrocious. The old ones, I think return of the jedi was my favorite, but it's pretty close with the empire strikes back.

Empire
*
Hope
Jedi
Clones
Menace

*count the Clone Wars series as a movie, and it goes here.

5 - Episode IV: A New Hope
4(tie) - Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi & Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi
2 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones
1 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace

6. Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith
5. Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back
4. Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi
3. Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope
2. Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace
1. Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones

/wishful thinking

consider "The Phantom Menace" as just the entire pod race scene, Darth Maul, and the robot army battle in the grass . . . and the movie is PURE Star Wars bliss. hell, i would have paid $10 just to listen to those scenes. great stuff.

of course, it is venomously ruined by an annoyingly self-aware child actor, awkward comedic relief, and about 50 minutes of useless politics.

Based on the previews, where do you all think Episode 3 will end up on your lists?

5 - Empire
4 - New Hope

The rest is drowned out by the sound of cash registers. Good riddance.

I'm really hoping ROTS lives up to all the hype that it's getting. I'm really amped for it's release - and I haven't been amped about a star wars flick coming out since I saw TPM on opening day and left the theatre shaking my head.

"Moviegoers are easily startled, but they'll soon be back... AND in greater number."

Here's to hoping EP3 is as good as some pre-release reviews say it is!

Kaeishiwaza:

4(tie) - Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi & Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi

It ties with itself?

5 - Episode IV - A New Hope
3 - Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back
2 - Episode VI - Return of the Jedi
0 - Episode I - The Phantom Menace
0 - Episode II - Attack of the Clones

/growing up sucks

I like all the movies but I have a question: for the most part, what are your ratings based on? Story/plot, character development or effects? It might be a lame stupid question, but alas, I'm still curious....

Jebus! You guys all missed the joke! 5 being the best, 1 being the worst.

Kudos, submitter!

5. Return of the Jedi
4. Empire Strikes Back
3. New Hope
2. Phantom Menace
1. Attack of the Clones

#1 was the best. I did some acid before I went to see it the second time. That put it up to #2 on my all-time faves.

1. Texas Chainsaw Massacre (original)
2. SW1 - acidified
3. Barbarella
4. The Villain
5. Motel Hell

#4 was an early Schwartzenegger film with Kirk Douglas as Wiley Coyote, Paul Linde as "Nervous Elk", the raiding Indian, Ann-Margaret as the damsel in distress because she was unable to seduce Arnie.

#5 Rory Calhoun as the hero/protagonist. "Meat's meat and a man's gotta eat". Actually worse than "Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes".

5 - A New Hope
4 - The Empire Strikes Back
3 - Attack of the Clones
2 - Return of the Jedi
1 - The Phantom Menace

Rate from 1 to 5 the following reasons why you are 39 years old and still living in your mom's basement.

The Taco Bell is right next door
Inhaling radon makes your genitals tingle
Women (except your mom) frighten you
By court order
You have the social skills of a cheese grater

1) A New Hope
1) The Empire Strikes Back
1) Return Of the Jedi
1) The Phantom Menace
1) Attack of the Clones
1) Revenge of the Sith

Looks like I'm the only one who likes them all the same. It's great to be able to seperate reality from fantasy and like them for what they are without other peoples opinions trickling into the fantasy of it all. One big story, pretty well written for the most part and played out nicely. Well done, Lucas. Well done.

In reference to Aargh's post...
Motel Hell rocks--I love those cheezy B-quality horror flicks of years ago. I watched Zombie recently and I loved it. Great gore with bugs/maggots. Certainly worth the forty-nine cent rental.

The Case for the Empire
Everything you think you know about Star Wars is wrong.


STAR WARS RETURNS today with its fifth installment, "Attack of the Clones." There will be talk of the Force and the Dark Side and the epic morality of George Lucas's series. But the truth is that from the beginning, Lucas confused the good guys with the bad. The deep lesson of Star Wars is that the Empire is good.

It's a difficult leap to make--embracing Darth Vader and the Emperor over the plucky and attractive Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia--but a careful examination of the facts, sorted apart from Lucas's off-the-shelf moral cues, makes a quite convincing case.

First, an aside: For the sake of this discussion, I've considered only the history gleaned from the actual Star Wars films, not the Expanded Universe. If you know what the Expanded Universe is and want to argue that no discussion of Star Wars can be complete without considering material outside the canon, that's fine. However, it's always been my view that the comic books and novels largely serve to clean up Lucas's narrative and philosophical messes. Therefore, discussions of intrinsic intent must necessarily revolve around the movies alone. You may disagree, but please don't e-mail me about it.

If you don't know what the Expanded Universe is, well, uh, neither do I.

I. The Problems with the Galactic Republic

At the beginning of the Star Wars saga, the known universe is governed by the Galactic Republic. The Republic is controlled by a Senate, which is, in turn, run by an elected chancellor who's in charge of procedure, but has little real power.

Scores of thousands of planets are represented in the Galactic Senate, and as we first encounter it, it is sclerotic and ineffectual. The Republic has grown over many millennia to the point where there are so many factions and disparate interests, that it is simply too big to be governable. Even the Republic's staunchest supporters recognize this failing: In "The Phantom Menace," Queen Amidala admits, "It is clear to me now that the Republic no longer functions." In "Attack of the Clones," young Anakin Skywalker observes that it simply "doesn't work."

The Senate moves so slowly that it is powerless to stop aggression between member states. In "The Phantom Menace" a supra-planetary alliance, the Trade Federation (think of it as OPEC to the Galactic Republic's United Nations), invades a planet and all the Senate can agree to do is call for an investigation.

Like the United Nations, the Republic has no armed forces of its own, but instead relies on a group of warriors, the Jedi knights, to "keep the peace." The Jedi, while autonomous, often work in tandem with the Senate, trying to smooth over quarrels and avoid conflicts. But the Jedi number only in the thousands--they cannot protect everyone.

What's more, it's not clear that they should be "protecting" anyone. The Jedi are Lucas's great heroes, full of Zen wisdom and righteous power. They encourage people to "use the Force"--the mystical energy which is the source of their power--but the truth, revealed in "The Phantom Menace," is that the Force isn't available to the rabble. The Force comes from midi-chlorians, tiny symbiotic organisms in people's blood, like mitochondria. The Force, it turns out, is an inherited, genetic trait. If you don't have the blood, you don't get the Force. Which makes the Jedi not a democratic militia, but a royalist Swiss guard.

And an arrogant royalist Swiss guard, at that. With one or two notable exceptions, the Jedi we meet in Star Wars are full of themselves. They ignore the counsel of others (often with terrible consequences), and seem honestly to believe that they are at the center of the universe. When the chief Jedi record-keeper is asked in "Attack of the Clones" about a planet she has never heard of, she replies that if it's not in the Jedi archives, it doesn't exist. (The planet in question does exist, again, with terrible consequences.)

In "Attack of the Clones," a mysterious figure, Count Dooku, leads a separatist movement of planets that want to secede from the Republic. Dooku promises these confederates smaller government, unlimited free trade, and an "absolute commitment to capitalism." Dooku's motives are suspect--it's not clear whether or not he believes in these causes. However, there's no reason to doubt the motives of the other separatists--they seem genuinely to want to make a fresh start with a government that isn't bloated and dysfunctional.

The Republic, of course, is eager to quash these separatists, but they never make a compelling case--or any case, for that matter--as to why, if they are such a freedom-loving regime, these planets should not be allowed to check out of the Republic and take control of their own destinies.

II. The Empire

We do not yet know the exact how's and why's, but we do know this: At some point between the end of Episode II and the beginning of Episode IV, the Republic is replaced by an Empire. The first hint comes in "Attack of the Clones," when the Senate's Chancellor Palpatine is granted emergency powers to deal with the separatists. It spoils very little to tell you that Palpatine eventually becomes the Emperor. For a time, he keeps the Senate in place, functioning as a rubber-stamp, much like the Roman imperial senate, but a few minutes into Episode IV, we are informed that the he has dissolved the Senate, and that "the last remnants of the Old Republic have been swept away."

Lucas wants the Empire to stand for evil, so he tells us that the Emperor and Darth Vader have gone over to the Dark Side and dresses them in black.

But look closer. When Palpatine is still a senator, he says, "The Republic is not what it once was. The Senate is full of greedy, squabbling delegates. There is no interest in the common good." At one point he laments that "the bureaucrats are in charge now."

Palpatine believes that the political order must be manipulated to produce peace and stability. When he mutters, "There is no civility, there is only politics," we see that at heart, he's an esoteric Straussian.

Make no mistake, as emperor, Palpatine is a dictator--but a relatively benign one, like Pinochet. It's a dictatorship people can do business with. They collect taxes and patrol the skies. They try to stop organized crime (in the form of the smuggling rings run by the Hutts). The Empire has virtually no effect on the daily life of the average, law-abiding citizen.

Also, unlike the divine-right Jedi, the Empire is a meritocracy. The Empire runs academies throughout the galaxy (Han Solo begins his career at an Imperial academy), and those who show promise are promoted, often rapidly. In "The Empire Strikes Back" Captain Piett is quickly promoted to admiral when his predecessor "falls down on the job."

And while it's a small point, the Empire's manners and decorum speak well of it. When Darth Vader is forced to employ bounty hunters to track down Han Solo, he refuses to address them by name. Even Boba Fett, the greatest of all trackers, is referred to icily as "bounty hunter." And yet Fett understands the protocol. When he captures Solo, he calls him "Captain Solo." (Whether this is in deference to Han's former rank in the Imperial starfleet, or simply because Han owns and pilots his own ship, we don't know. I suspect it's the former.)

But the most compelling evidence that the Empire isn't evil comes in "The Empire Strikes Back" when Darth Vader is battling Luke Skywalker. After an exhausting fight, Vader is poised to finish Luke off, but he stays his hand. He tries to convert Luke to the Dark Side with this simple plea: "There is no escape. Don't make me destroy you. . . . Join me, and I will complete your training. With our combined strength, we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy." It is here we find the real controlling impulse for the Dark Side and the Empire. The Empire doesn't want slaves or destruction or "evil." It wants order.

None of which is to say that the Empire isn't sometimes brutal. In Episode IV, Imperial stormtroopers kill Luke's aunt and uncle and Grand Moff Tarkin orders the destruction of an entire planet, Alderaan. But viewed in context, these acts are less brutal than they initially appear. Poor Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen reach a grisly end, but only after they aid the rebellion by hiding Luke and harboring two fugitive droids. They aren't given due process, but they are traitors.

The destruction of Alderaan is often cited as ipso facto proof of the Empire's "evilness" because it seems like mass murder--planeticide, even. As Tarkin prepares to fire the Death Star, Princess Leia implores him to spare the planet, saying, "Alderaan is peaceful. We have no weapons." Her plea is important, if true.

But the audience has no reason to believe that Leia is telling the truth. In Episode IV, every bit of information she gives the Empire is willfully untrue. In the opening, she tells Darth Vader that she is on a diplomatic mission of mercy, when in fact she is on a spy mission, trying to deliver schematics of the Death Star to the Rebel Alliance. When asked where the Alliance is headquartered, she lies again.

Leia's lies are perfectly defensible--she thinks she's serving the greater good--but they make her wholly unreliable on the question of whether or not Alderaan really is peaceful and defenseless. If anything, since Leia is a high-ranking member of the rebellion and the princess of Alderaan, it would be reasonable to suspect that Alderaan is a front for Rebel activity or at least home to many more spies and insurgents like Leia.

Whatever the case, the important thing to recognize is that the Empire is not committing random acts of terror. It is engaged in a fight for the survival of its regime against a violent group of rebels who are committed to its destruction.

III. After the Rebellion

As we all know from the final Star Wars installment, "Return of the Jedi," the rebellion is eventually successful. The Emperor is assassinated, Darth Vader abdicates his post and dies, the central governing apparatus of the Empire is destroyed in a spectacular space battle, and the rebels rejoice with their small, annoying Ewok friends. But what happens next?

(There is a raft of literature on this point, but, as I said at the beginning, I'm going to ignore it because it doesn't speak to Lucas's original intent.)

In Episode IV, after Grand Moff Tarkin announces that the Imperial Senate has been abolished, he's asked how the Emperor can possibly hope to keep control of the galaxy. "The regional governors now have direct control over territories," he says. "Fear will keep the local systems in line."

So under Imperial rule, a large group of regional potentates, each with access to a sizable army and star destroyers, runs local affairs. These governors owe their fealty to the Emperor. And once the Emperor is dead, the galaxy will be plunged into chaos.

In all of the time we spend observing the Rebel Alliance, we never hear of their governing strategy or their plans for a post-Imperial universe. All we see are plots and fighting. Their victory over the Empire doesn't liberate the galaxy--it turns the galaxy into Somalia writ large: dominated by local warlords who are answerable to no one.

Which makes the rebels--Lucas's heroes--an unimpressive crew of anarchic royals who wreck the galaxy so that Princess Leia can have her tiara back.

I'll take the Empire.
by Jonathan V. Last

5 - Empire Strikes Back
4 - Return of the Jedi
3 - A New Hope
2 - Phantom Menace
1 - Attack of the Clones

Yeah, I'm sorry, Attack of the Clones was an absolute travesty of modern film. Phantom Menace was horrible, but Attack of the Clones made me wish that George Lucas would not even bother with Episode III.

Randell: Which did you like better? Empire Strikes Back or Return of the Jedi?

Dante: Empire.

Randell: Blasphemy.

Dante: Empire had the better ending. Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba-Fett. It ends on such a DOWN note. That's what life is. A series of down endings. All Jedi had was a bunch of muppets.

sofashark: "Rate from 1 to 5 the following reasons why you are 39 years old and still living in your mom's basement.

The Taco Bell is right next door
Inhaling radon makes your genitals tingle
Women (except your mom) frighten you
By court order
You have the social skills of a cheese grater"

Thanks for sharing your personal info with us, sofashark. But this thread isn't about how sad and lonely you are. Wait your turn. ;P

TheXerox
steak
cheeseburger
pizza

5 - Episode IV: A New Hope
4 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
3 - Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi
2 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones
1 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace

I tend to like the original best, although Empire was pretty close. The Ewoks really hurt Jedi, and Episodes I and II were not very good, especially when compared to the original trilogy.

1. Episode 2 Attack of the Clones
2. Episode 1 Phantom Menace
3. Episode 6 Return of the Jedi
4. Episode 4 A New Hope
5. Episode 5 Empire Strikes Back

I haven't looked at the other submitters, but I bet many agree with me.

Attack of The Clones is the worst.

Hayden Christensen trumps Jar Jar Binks in godawfulness.

You can actually see the precise moment the "Star Wars" saga died a horrid death -- in "Jedi," right as the speeder bike sequence ended, and that first frikkin' Ewok-teddy-bear-monkey made the scene.

The rest of the film was a rehash both in plot (get the Death Star) and dialogue ("I've got a bad feeling about this" for the millionth time). And I'll never get through that scene of the Emperor frazzing Luke while ENDLESSLY saying "Your destiny awaits" and "don't fight the dark side" and "don't resist your waiting destiny" over and over and over.

The speeder chase was the last cool sequence in "Star Wars" history. The prequels were awful in every conceivable way a movie could be unentertaining. Badly edited, horribly paced, horrible CGI that made the puppets look like documentary footage ... all the more a disgrace considering George had ENDLESS budget and COMPLETE control.

5 - Episode IV: A New Hope
4 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
1 - Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi
- 999999 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones
- 999999 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace

I put AOTC last, because no matter how bad Jar-Jar was (and he WAS bad), the crap dialogue, bad acting by Hayden Christiansen, and lousy portrayal of Anakin generally meant I could never like this movie.

I dont' understand how anyone can hate the prequels. When it comes down to it, Samuel L. Jackson plays a monk with super-powers in space. How can you think of a better movie idea?

To quote my older brother on Attack of the Clones: "I just can't get into it. The writing sucks. How am I supposed to believe this winey pussy grows up to be Space Hitler?"

5 - Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back
4 - Star Wars IV: A New Hope
3 - Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi
2 - Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones
1 - Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace

Episode 1: 2, as a standalone Sci-Fi flick, it wouldn't have been bad, but its definitely not a starwars movie.

Episode 2: 1, LAME... Hated that movie. Cheesy love story, Yoda goes house. Oh, and the scene that was put in there so it could be part of the video game (You know, the machine belt section), totaly lame.

Episode 4: 3, Characters were weak, but what do you expect for the first movie in a series? Great sci-fi on its own.

Episode 5: 10, (my menus allowed voting from 1-10...So what if I'm a cheater), Loved it loved it loved it... Ooooh such a good movie. (doesnt beat Wrath of Khan, but hey, I'm open to Warsies too)

Episode 6: 5, Not quite as spiffy as 5, but still quite 'teh roxxor' as it was.

Seufzer
It ties with itself?

Damn you copy and paste! Let's try this again. . .
5 - Episode IV: A New Hope
4(tie) - Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi & Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back
2 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones
1 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace

ESB
ANH
AOTC
ROJ
TPM

5 - Empire
4 - Hope
3 - Jedi
2 - Menace
1 - Clones

I actually feel, despite everything I've heard on forums like these, that Jedi is the most underrated. The good in it far outweighs the bad. To me, its the most exotic, most "galaxy far, far away" film of the series. The stuff with Jabba at the beginning is great, the speeder bikes are great, the giant starship melee at the end is still awesome and neat to look at (and occurs *after* the first Ewok shows up). Yeah, the Ewoks and the Luke-Leia scene in the Ewok village are lame, but that's it.
And put me in the (apparent) minority like prefers the Phantom Menace to Attack of the Clones. Menace may have had Jar Jar, a snooze inducing and in many ways completely inconsequential plot, some idiotic relevations about the Force, and horrible performances from most of the cast, but it also had the (great in idea if not in execution) pod race, a nice performance from Liam Nesson, and the best lightsaber fight outside of Empire. Attack of the Clones is an absolute trainwreck of a film. People complain about Luke-leia in Jedi, but every scene between Anakin and Padme is on the same level of badness in Clones. ALL the performances are terrible, and even compared to Menace, the film's an exercise in cutting a few human actors in just so we don't realize we're essentially watching a Pixar film. And then there's Yoda doing kung-fu, for god's sake.

5 - Return of the Jedi
4 - Empire Strikes Back
3 - A New Hope
2 - Phantom Menace
1 - Attack of the Clones

-1 - The Ewok Adventure
-2 - the Star Wars Holiday Special

Attack of the Clones would be below Ewok Adventure if it didn't have Yoda fighting.

1) Empire Strikes Back
2) Star Wars: A New Hope



I can't be arsed to rank the rest of them on the basis that they all sucked....badly...

Empire
Jedi
Hope
clones
phantom

Tesseract


The Empire runs academies throughout the galaxy (Han Solo begins his career at an Imperial academy), and those who show promise are promoted, often rapidly. In "The Empire Strikes Back" Captain Piett is quickly promoted to admiral when his predecessor "falls down on the job


/comedy gold

What very creative abbreviations of the movie titles, my young apprentices! And so many of them; They're all so very clever.

Now get yourself fast to Tattooine... and fetch me an ewok sammich, padawan byatch!

/Don't take no for an answer.

5) Empire Strikes Back
4) Return of the Jedi
3) A New Hope
4) Attack of the Clones
5) Phantom Menace

Perhaps because I was a kid when I watched RotJ, but I didn't mind the ewoks so much - and both the rescue and final star fight were fantastic. A New Hope and Attack were alot closer for me: Yoda kicking a** with a lightsaber trumps a bit of silly romance acting in my books, and don't forget Luke was a whinging turd in the first one.

5 - Star Wars IV: A New Hope
4 - Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back
3 - Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi
2 - Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones
1 - Star Wars Holiday Special
0 - Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace

Sorry Empire lovers, To Be Continued doesn't cut it as an ending.

And my list, young ones:

Erm... Uh, just listen to Master Jizz Master Zero's teachings. He has much knowledge in which you should partake. Just turn and leave the room if he attempts to show you his "meat-saber." He has certain needs that no Jedi can fulfill.

5 - Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back
4 - Star Wars IV: A New Hope
3 - Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones
2 - Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi
1 - Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace

JacksBlack:

2005-05-08 09:43:44 PM JacksBlack [TotalFark]

I hate bandwagons, so here's my list:

5. RotJ
4. ANH
3. TESB
2. AotC
1. TPM

I'm hoping RotS will take its place at number 4 or higher.

Sorry, but I'm gonna have to jump on this new bandwagon.

5 - A New Hope
4 - Return of the Jedi
3 - Attack of the Clones
2 - Empire Strikes Back
1 - Phantom Menace

Empire Strikes Back was just boring. Too much downtime, except for the beginning and the part where they flew the Falcon out of the asteroid-dinosaur thing.
Phantom Menace was cool except for Anakin and Jar Jar...but Anakin was worse. "Let's try spinning! That's a neat trick!"
Ugh.
To anyone who slams the Ewoks, just know this-when you were a kid, you liked them. If you say you didn't, you either didn't see Star Wars as a kid, or you're lying.
Attack of the Clones-Natalie Portman pokies, Obi-wan riding on a little drone through Coruscant, and the Jedi battle in the arena. Amazing. There was no chemistry between Anakin and Padme, but I forgive that.

Remember, kids, no matter how bad the dialogue is in Star Wars, the original trilogy had some of the worst. "But I was going down to the Tashi station to pick up some power convertors!"
You're looking at the original trilogy with rose-colored lenses. They're all painful. But that's part of the fun.

5 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
4 - Episode IV: A New Hope
3 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones
2 - Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
1 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace

(Of course, I'm including the ORIGINAL prints of Episodes IV, V and VI. None of that "SPECIAL EDITION" crap with added in dialogue, effects and Han Solo shooting Greedo in self-defense.)

5 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
4 - Episode IV: A New Hope
3 - Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi
2 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones
1 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace

gopher321: I love screwing with these idiotic poles.

What did the Polish people ever do to you?

There are 5?

Attach of the clones isn't that bad on DVD. It's easy to skip past the Anakin/Padme scenes....

Episode III-RotS is the best....by far.

Why?

Cause it hasn't had the chance to suck yet.

What? I can't rate the Christmas special? This thing is rigged!

5 Episode V: Empire Strikes Back
4 Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
3 Episode IV: A New Hope
2 Episode II: Attack Of The Clones
1 Episode I: The Piece of Crap

II is better than I only because there's so much of Natalie Portman's belly.

-DP

5) Return of the Jedi
4) A New Hope
3) Empire Strikes Back
2) Attack of the Clones
1) Phantom Menace

RotJ was my fav simply because it had the best elements of ANH and ESB all in one package. That, and the theme of redemption, which I am a sucker for in any film.

I actually liked Phantom Menace too, however, I really think that Lucas should have made two seperate films of it. There was simply too much plot development going on for one film to hold properly and it showed. Yes, Jar Jar was cute for 30 seconds and became an increasing liability as the film went on.

Pacing on the remaining films was good. Unlike everyone else apparently I would rate ESB and AotC very close, and could flip the ordering there depending my mood.

What's interesting is how the trilogies differ, in that many people rate the 1st and 3rd films of the first set (IV-VI) as better than the 2nd, while the second set seems to get increasingly better in many people's eyes. It will be interesting to see how everyone's list will differ by the time it's all over. Here's what I anticipate mine to look like:

6) Return of the Jedi
5) A New Hope
4) Revenge of the Sith
3) Empire Strikes Back
2) Attack of the Clones
1) Phantom Menace

--h

Am I crazy or it has a 10-point scale on a 1-5 rating option?

OK...I would have agreed before last night to put ROJ third, but after watching it last night (it was on UPN and nothing else was on) it was just crap. Bunch of little teddy bears and muppets wrapped around a decent, but not real good battle scene. I have rewatched the others over the years, and while the story is kinda trite in today's mindset, they hold up a little better.

1. Empire
2. New Hope
3. Clones
4. Mennace
5. ROJ

My vote goes to "Hardware Wars"

You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll kiss three buck goodbye

/may the farce be with you

I saw ep III last week. Yay for me!

MoonSage:

5 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
4 - Episode IV: A New Hope
3 - Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi
2 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones
1 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace

Ummm... duh.


Move Phantom Menace to #4. It had no dramatic arc because it had to introduce the saga (imagine a Discovery Channel Special on the Saga). It's a movie meant to show what Lucas could do visually and as such, it's awesome. However, I thought that he got that out of his system and Episode II would be good, but instead it sucked really badly, worst theater going experience of my lifetime. For me ...

1. Empire - by a good margin the best of the series. Everything we associated with star wars (yoda, "i am your father") is here.
2. Star Wars - most important movie in modern american film history.
3. Phantom Menace - so visually ambitious, and as such, art.
4. Jedi - entertaining but does not push envelope the way the other 3 did
5. Clones - really really bad

5. The Empire Strikes Back
4. A New Hope
3. Return of the Jedi
2. The Phantom Menace
1. Attack of the Clones.

Really, in my mind, 3 & 2 can be switched fairly easily. Jedi wins out in my because it's a better action movie, whereas Menace drags quite a bit in places, but probably has a better story and one kick-ass fight scene.

Attack of the Clones had only has 3 redeeming features, and they all have to do with Natalie Portman's figure in the final few minutes of the movie. I've only seen the movie once and have no intention of seeing it again. Menace, on the other hand, has grown on me somewhat.

5. Star Wars Galaxies
4. Jump To Lightspeed
2. Rage of the Wookies
1. Combat Upgrade

/oh, did you mean the MOVIES?

Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999) 2.34
Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002) 2.93
Episode IV - A New Hope (1977) 4.36
Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980) 4.80
Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983) 4.09

Phantom Menace starts a confusing process that blends the New Testament and The DaVinci Code. Here we have young Anakin, apparently born of immaculate conception generating a bloodline. Yippie ki-yay.

5 - Episode IV: A New Hope
4 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
3 - Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi
2 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones
1 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace

Larry-Horse:

5 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
4 - Episode IV: A New Hope
3 - Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi
2 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones
1 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace

Originals, NOT Revised Editions where Greedo shoots first.

Tesseract
When the chief Jedi record-keeper is asked in "Attack of the Clones" about a planet she has never heard of, she replies that if it's not in the Jedi archives, it doesn't exist. (The planet in question does exist, again, with terrible consequences.)

dude I think that was Senante archives not the jedi ones...so hey lay off the chick, when is the last time you met a humble librarian?

and folks Ep. I, sucked! the second one wasnt muhc better, and sadly, this one will too! We have come to expect to much from our movies...

\\read this whole list of posts, sad

Thank you for voting.
Rank the Star Wars movies from 5-1, five being the best, one the worst:
Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999) 2.33
Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002) 2.92
Episode IV - A New Hope (1977) 4.34
Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980) 4.78
Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983) 4.08

Honestly, I'll go with this (yes, I will go ahead and rate Episode III before I have seen all of it)for the most current versions:

VI - Episode V, Empire Strikes Back
V - Episode III, Revenge of the Sith
IV - Episode IV, A New Hope
III - Episode II, Attack of the Clones
II - Episode VI, Return of the Jedi
I - Episode I, The Phantom Menace

Now if we are talking 'old school' versions, I would place episode VI above episode II.

If you want to know exactly how good/bad Episode III will be, go to www.supershadow.com and read the script. Take caution, however, because it will spoil the entire movie.

Why bother to 'rate' something you haven't seen? I really don't get it ... unless you're a shill/paid critic. Anyway,

5 - Empire
4 - New Hope
3 - Return (watch the first 2/3rd's with great enjoy.)
2 - Attack of the Clones
1 - Phantom Menace

As has been said, repeatedly: duh.

Only the even numbered ones are good.

/wrong franchise?

glad to see I'm not the only one who like Menace better than Clones


Empire Strikes Back
Star Wars
Return of the Jedi
The Phantom Menace
Attack of the Clones

I have read the edited and final script, so I know exactly what happens and how and how it is shot and blocked out, etc. I have also seen enough clips of the movie (leaked, of course) to know that it could be a total piece of cinematic dogshiat, but the quality and length of the lightsaber battles and the sheer evilness of Palpatine (in the Darth Vader from Empire Strikes Back kinda way) are going to make this movie pure redemption for the crumminess of the first 2 prequels.

Seriously. Look at the major lightsaber battles:
Obi-Wan Kenobi vs. General Grevious, a cyborg that wields multiple lightsabers simultaneously
Mace Windu vs. Darth Sidious
Anakin vs. The Jedi Temple
Yoda vs. Darth Sidious
Obi-Wan Kenobi vs. Darth Vader

Plus, any movie with an army of marauding Wookies can't be that bad, can it?

5 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
4 - Episode IV: A New Hope
3 - Episode VI: Return Of The Jedi
2 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace
1 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones

And I'm expecting that Revenge Of The Sith will end up between A New Hope and Return Of The Jedi.

You know, I think the title to the submission says it all:

"five being the best, one being the worst."

I and II don't suck as bad as you people are saying...the biggest problem with I is that there are some great characters that die [Darth Maul and Qui Gon]. The big problem with II is the stupid factory sequence [although there are some sweet saber moves by Anakin] and the stupid Rancor retread with the 3 monsters. The big fight in the pit with all the droids and the Jedi was super cool. I think I would have made Dooku more influential on Anakin while they were fighting, planting a few seeds about the Dark Side.

I think the machinations of Sidious are pretty interesting...imagine if you had never seen the original movies before and in III you find out that Palpatine is Sidious...that would be mind-blowing, because there really is no way to know that up till now, unless you knew already.

From what I've seen and read, III is going to be amazing.

/One of my favorite moments from I is when Qui Gon switches off his saber and sticks it on his belt in one motion. That was COOL

Skinny23,
Sorry, it was the Jedi librarian, where else would Obi Uno go to. Elitest snob (the jedi, not you). You think they loan those books out to anyone?

Best.
9 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back [Special Edition]
8 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back [Original Version]
7 - Episode IV: A New Hope [Original Version]
6 - Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi [Original Version]
5 - Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi [Special Edition]
4 - Episode IV: A New Hope [Special Edition]
3 - [Tenative] - Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
2 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones
1 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace
Worst.

BTW, Do you think that Lucas will give a special appearence to Chewie's dad Ichy?

5 - The Empire Strikes Back
4 - Attack of the Clones
3 - A New Hope
2 - Return of the Jedi
1 - The Phantom Menace

empire was best so far. dark funny and good fights

episode 4 was second. good story, funny, classic

clones was 3rd but close to jedi. good fighting, nice showing of jedi powers. soon to be vader was a whiner though

jedi was 4th. good 1/3. lame ewoks. return of death star. lucas has no balls. this worked good before. bring it back (see boba-fet coming back with son, somehow always returning to tatotiune (dont biatch about spelling ya klingon speaking nerds), inability not to have r2d2 and c3po etc...)

and last of course was phantom. Where do I start? The lets talk to my daughter about how to make a movie (which lucas confessed was the reason for alot of the crap in the movie). childish and cartoony. The big water ballon fight at the end between cartoon rasta men and robots. Nice to have a war were no humans get killed huh? Did the same pc crap in GI JOE, planes get shot down all the time but everyplane getting shot down always showed a guy in a parachute jumping out. I think those guys must practice jumping out of a burning plane all the time and dont practice actually shooting anyone. and then there was an explanation of jedi power by explaining that it was some virus infection. The main "star" being a lame actor with that stupid "my mom is my manager" bowl haircut from the 80s with his horrible horrible acting. the only really good thing in it was the first 5 minutes when the jedi really kick it and darth maul but of course Lucas kills him off because supposedly the actor got drunk and talked to ppl saying how he was going to be in all the movies. Of course he want on to be in xmen and played the toad. The move where he kicks out the brookstick thats holding the elevator door open for storm, same move from star wars. Kinda of FU to lucas who sorely deserves it for this lousy POS.

tedZilla:

I and II don't suck as bad as you people are saying...the biggest problem with I is that there are some great characters that die

I think the biggest problem is that alot of us saw the original movies as kids, and we've put them up on some sort of pedestal as if they're gospel. When the prequels came along, we weren't kids anymore, and weren't open to the same sort of awe.

5 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
4 - Episode IV: A New Hope
3 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones
2 - Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi
1 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace

IV - It is completely retarded to build a bazillion dollar space station hoping to hold the galaxy hostage, and leave this exhaust port flapping around waiting for someone to fire something into it. REJECT

V - "Would it help if I got out and pushed?" C'mon, Han. A little spousal abuse is a GOOD thing in situations like that. And you simply can't fall that far without dying and what you found out about your father doesn't change this one bit. REJECT

VI - Twenty-two years and I'm the only one who notices how God-Awful the line delivery was? Watch it again sometime. "You told me Darth Vader betrayed and murdered my father", "He's my brother", "My father had it, I have it, and...my sister has it", "Would you get going, you old pirate". Everybody looks tired of what they've been doing. How can you be annoyed by Jar-Jar but not by Ewoks? And you don't get promoted to General right after being thawed out, nor do you lend your freighter to the guy who got you frozen in the first place. REJECT

I - Darth Maul can beat anybody, anytime, anyplace, because he is in tune with the Dark Side and he has cat-like reflexes. He's so good he can fight two guys at once. The only way to beat him is to summersault OVER his head while he watches you with his jaw slack like a dumbass. And what is with that mother ship arrangement? One laserbolt in the right place and not only does the ship explode, but all the battle droids on the ground fall apart? Who designed this? Must be the same guy who built the Death Star (See IV). REJECT

II - "Senate, you simply MUST approve the Clone Army!" "No, we can't do that, it is far too dangerous." "Well okay then Senate, you must vote emergency powers to the Chancellor so that he can approve the Clone Army you won't approve." "Well yeah, that seems reasonable." "Your skin is so smooth." "If you follow your thoughts to their logical conclusion, they'll take us to a place we cannot go." REJECT

George Lucas is a moron. He's gotta learn to make a space opera filled with laser swords, tiny green guys, space creatures that can move things with their minds, guys jumping twenty feet in the air, walking carpets, and space ships that it's easier for me to BELIEVE. C'mon. It can't be that hard.

In all seriousness, though, c'mon. If the acting, directing AND writing were Oscar-quality, it would not be Star Wars.

Look, it says it right up there in the original item. "Five being the best, one being the worst". Poll over.

KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!

/just sayin'

epoch:

I'm glad I'm not the only one who found ESB to be boring.

ROTJ is number one in my book. I thought it had a great pacing to it. And what the hell is wrong with the Ewoks? Everyone is really critical of them. There is nothing wrong with them whatsoever.

Never saw Episode I, don't want to. Episode II was bland in my view... been a couple of years since I've seen it so I'd have to watch it again.

ANH was alright, I think.

Oh good. I knew I would be able to just cut and paste any of a bazillion posts -though it WAS hard putting Jedi above clones...
Ewokz r teh jar-jar style sux.

5 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
4 - Episode IV: A New Hope
3 - Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi
2 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones
1 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace

Ant
I'm going to be 37 next month; I saw IV when I was 9 and have seen IV easily 150 times. I can quote nearly the entire movie. They are by far my favorite movies ever made, if not the best movies made.
AND I still think that I and II were good, and on DVD they are incredible...I don't really like RoTJ very much.

Interesting that nearly everyone is putting "Attack of the Clones" ahead of "The Phantom Menace," including the current results of the poll, where AOTC is ahead of TPM.

I thought they were both really bad, but AOTC was one of the worst movies I can remember seeing. I'm no Star Wars geek, so maybe that makes a difference in how you rank them? Despite the whole Jar Jar thing, which was pretty annoying I agree, TPM's inane dialog and mind-numbingly boring "love interest" scenes moves that one squarely in the "worst. movie. evar." category.

Anyone who rated Phantom menace above a 1 gets my boot in their ass.

Attack of the Clones is far and away the worst of the series. While Phantom Menace sucked in large quantities, I think Qui-Gon and Darth Maul overcame Jar Jar and Ani.

What did Clones have going for it? Some old fart Sith and Yoda flipping around like a squirrel? Yoda should never debase himself by fighting. "Wars not make one great." Anyone remember that?

2005-05-09 03:49:15 AM TheXerox


It's REALLY tough for me to rank them as they all have their good and bad points but contribute to the total storyline. You may as well ask me if I'd prefer pizza, cheeseburgers, or a steak.

/on the nose

6 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
5 - Episode IV: A New Hope
4 - Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
3 - Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi
2 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace
1 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones

VinDiesel:

Despite the whole Jar Jar thing, which was pretty annoying I agree, TPM's inane dialog and mind-numbingly boring "love interest" scenes moves that one squarely in the "worst. movie. evar." category.

Did you mean "AOTC" in this bit, since there really were no love interest scenes in TPM.

I'll also at this time add that the lightsaber scene at the end of TPM puts it light years ahead of AOTC. I laughed out loud at the Yoda scene with Darth Sidious, as it was too ridiculous, and the big battle scene was just a mess and was done SO much better in the LOTR movies.

Face it -- Clones has no redeeming features. TPM at least has the lightsabre scene, and although I'm sure some will disagree, the race sequence was quite cool too.

5 - Space: Above and Beyond
4 - Battlestar Galactica
3 - Firefly
2 - Babylon 5
1 - Doctor Who

You guys all suck at reading directions. You're not supposed to rank the films according to one another. You're supposed to rank them each on a scale of 1-5, 5 being the best.

So, if you hated TPM, but thought all of the others were the best movies ever, it would go something like this:

TPM - 1
AOTC - 5
ANH - 5
ESB - 5
ROTJ - 5

Or if you hated them all, you'd give them all 1's. You don't order them, you rate them each individually.

5 Empire Strikes Back
4 A New Hope
3 Attack of the Clones
2 Return of the Jedi
1 The Phantom menace



Yes, I have Ewoks as bad as Jar Jar....

"You have the social skills of a cheese grater"

i'm soooooooooo remembering that comment.

As I was born in '79, the only SW flicker I took in at the theater was ROTJ, and the ewoks rock when you're a kid.

I heard an interview with Lucas recently in which he basically gave the finger to his 'fans', saying something like "I am sorry if you enjoyed the incomplete and incorrect versions of the films I wanted to create. The changes I have made and the films I am making now are the story I wanted to tell."

I can respect that.

I do find it odd, however, that the most recent films seem to have been written solely to what he thinks will sell stuff. I mean, respect aside, I can't possibly imagine he had it in his head to make the Storm Troopers clones of some tertiary 'one-of-a-group-of-five' bounty hunter character that he predicted would garner a cult following. Wookie planet = People miss Chewbacca.

It seems like his comments just cancel eachother out.

My point is, though, that the guy seems to think that the drivel (or majesty - you decide) he is putting out now is what he wanted to put out all along. I agree - if your childhood was ruined when this guy 'fixed his mistakes' then your childhood must've been pretty shakey to start with.

Then again, I thought Yoda flipping all over the place was pure genius, so my opinion will likely find no purchase here.

5 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (best opening EVAR)
4 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones (Yoda flippy = gold)
3 - Episode VI: Return of the Jedi (ewoks rule when you're a kid!)
2 - Episode IV: A New Hope (Needs more Tarkin)
1 - Episoce I: The Phantom Menace (Crap)

Phantom
Phantom
Phantom
Phantom
Phantom

Can't get enough of that Jar Jar!!

What do you guys think is the LOWEST single point of the series? I am tempted to say Jar-Jar, but actually the most pointless scene of them all was the conveyor belt scene in Attack of the Clones. I am a huge defender of that movie, but I can't even focus on what's going on in that scene. It's so pointless.

Scratch that. I meant to put all fives. Five is the new number one!!

5) Return of the Jedi
4) A New Hope
3) Empire Strikes Back
2) Lucas should be shot for editing our childhood memories
1) You can't even find the originals in the store anymore

Greedo didn't shoot first!

They told you the first prequel would be great, but it blew chunks. They told you the second prequel would be great, but it blew chunks, too. Now they're really going all-out to promote this third chunk-blowing prequel.

/nothing in third prequel could make up for previous two

i-likes-maple-syrup: What do you guys think is the LOWEST single point of the series?

I would have to say the skimming over of the creation of the Death Star. This thing was epic - pretty much the whole reason we have a Star Wars in the first place. In AOTC we get a glimpse of the plans and find out that some bug/dog/oddball thinigs are building it.

I had it in my head that Grand Moff Tarkin had pioneered the whole deal and it was this great and epic process to build this world splitting device. In AOTC it is like an afterthought. We pay more attention to Anakin rding giant fleas and making an ass of himself when we should be getting to the 2 items that made A New Hope a blast: Vader and the Death Star.

More Tarkin. More Death Star.

So: AOTC's ignorance of the second most iconic device in the SW franchise (Sabres being the first). Lowest point.

5 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
4 - Episode IV: A New Hope
3 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace
2 - Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi
1 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones

5 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
4 - Episode IV: A New Hope
3 - Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi
2 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace
1 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones

the lowest point is when we find out Obi Wan is Ani's dad in Sith... oh, was i supposed to say *Spoilers?

Submitter sucks.
Thanks to the stupid headline giving the wrong instruction, I gave the Phantom Menace a 5. Asshat.

5. Empire Strikes Back
4. New Hope
3. Phantom Menace
2. Attack of the Clones
1. Return of the Jedi

4: Revenge of the Nerds
3: Revenge of the Nerds: The Next Generation
2: Revenge of the Nerds: Nerds in Paradise
1: Revenge of the Nerds: Nerds in Love

harrinkw:

That's nice and all, but let's please try and keep this discussion on serious cinema.

Care to rank the police academies?

5. The Empire Strikes Back
4. A New Hope
3. Return of the Jedi
2. Attack of the Clones
1. The Phantom Menace

Redwing

I agree, but that storyline with the visions and warpaint BS truly sucked

I agree with the poster somehwere up top-

When RoTS comes out, people will be like "Ohhhhh snap it's a 6 part movie and together they make sense!"

5. The Empire Strikes Back
4. A New Hope
3. Return of the Jedi
2. The Phantom Menace
1. Attack of the Clones

New one better at least be watchable.

Stunning how many people put ATOC ahead of Phantom Meanace. Phantom was kinda bad, but had some great stuff. the Podrace was stellar, and Darth Maul was top-notch. (lucas should NEVER have killed him off). While it had a lot of problems, nothing Lucas has ever made (except maybe Howard the Duck) was worse than ATOC. It was just plain awful.

5 The Empire Strikes Back
4 A new Hope
3 Attack of the clones
2 the Phantom Menace (thanks to Jar Jar Binks)
1 Return of the Jedi (the ewoks made this move the worst of the bunch)

5. A New Hope (It's the most self-contained and the best Movie)
4. Empire Strikes Back (best Story, Yoda stuff drags)
3. Attack of the Clones (Yeah, that's right, above ROTJ)
2. Return of the Jedi (Farkin' Ewoks)
1. Phantom Menace (Jack Farking LLoyd)
0. The Star Wars Holiday Special (Farking Itchy)

Hebalo:

Stunning how many people put ATOC ahead of Phantom Meanace. Phantom was kinda bad, but had some great stuff. the Podrace was stellar, and Darth Maul was top-notch. (lucas should NEVER have killed him off).

The podrace blew, imo. Too long, uninteresting, and seemed to be there more as a videogame opportunity than anything.

Darth Maul looked cool. Did he have any dialogue at all? There was zero character development for him (even relatively speaking) so I was pretty indifferent to him.

Looking cool is not enough to attract my interest for any length of time, unless cool boobies are involved.

I'm still amazed how people disrespect ROtJ because of the ewoks. Did you forget the first 20 minutes of that movie? I'd take that first 25 minutes of ROTJ over the entire length of AOTC or PM any day.

I do understand the way they have the ranking, i.e., they are averaging the number scores. However, I wonder how many people won't RTFI and will rank their favorite as 1 and their least favorite as 5.

5. Empire
4. A New Hope
3. Jedi
2. Attack of the Clones
1. Phantom Menace

5. Empire
4. A New Hope
3. Attack of the Clones
2. Jedi
1. Phantom Menace

skinnytie
More Tarkin. More Death Star.

No.... more COWBELL.
:)

Is the special editon DVD going to edit in scenes of Hayden Christensen actually acting?

All in all, what Star Wars has been is the story of Anakin Skywalker, from his childhood to his death a story of one man who want's nothing more than to be loved.

Or perhaps just an excuse to have lightsabers, spaceships, and stuff.

The people have no voice, no vote, no options, and no control over their taxes, policies, or lives.

Hey, don't be so down on Star Wars fans. Just because we can seriously discuss the political aspects and impacts of a kids movie whose most memorable characters are Frank Oz's hand and a piece of molded plastic with Thulsa Doom's voice doesn't mean we don't have LIVES!

Sure, I don't have control over my taxes, don't even know if I have policies and consider it a pretty good day when I can get a few more arguments in on behalf of the rebel insurgence, but that doesn't mean I have nothing better to do with my time. I choose to ignore the real world in liu of one inhabited by muppets...

/thinks they're great movies - but still movies
//doesn't speak klingon
///owns 'han fired first' shirt

if you get down to brass tacks Darth Maul was cool

No. Darth Maul was ridiculous. He was an enemy created for and disposed of in just one episode, and poorly at that. Ooooh, scaaary. Hell, I thought the Emperor's Guards (those guys in all-red with the tall helmuts) had more bad-assery than friggin' Darth Maul.

What the hell kind of name is that, anyway? Darth, like Vader, but Maul, 'cause he'll maaaaul you. Like a bear. Rrrr. Survey says: Lame.

Survey Says...

You're a tool!

Darth Maul was cool. Sorry he died right away.

Wank some milk, baby? What's that? You're just a baby so you can't ask for milk, but you want some? Why don't you cry for me?

I'm afraid this poll will be quite operational when your fanboy friends arrive

Having seen Episode III already, I'd have to say:

Empire Strikes Back
A New Hope
Return of the Jedi
Revenge of the Sith
Attack of the Clones
Phantom Menace

If I could have forgotten Episodes I and II, Episode III would have climbed a notch and landed between A New Hope and Return of the Jedi. But they alienated me emotionally from caring too much about the characters in ROTS.

five being the best, one being the worst

That sounds about right.

El Dangeroso and others, I also agree that Yoda Fight was lame in AotC.

Yoda's fighting style would not be a spazzing out, spinning around, kung fu chipmunk style.
He would use an economy of movement that would use an agressor's attacks against them.

Anyone remember that essay where some guy suggested that Ben Kenobi was really Anakin and that Darth Vader was Obi Wan? The link to it is dead...I would like to read it again now that the prequel trilogy is almost ovah...it was kinda interesting

I disagree on Yoda...he's too small to fight that way against a larger opponent, and you have to remember that Dooku was supposed to be about the best there is with a lightsaber, so speed was definitely the way to attack.

However, I'm sure we'll get a much better idea of how he fights next week :D

If the voting goes from 1-5, why does the drop down box go from 1-10?


Epsiode I and II : -1
New Hope: 3
Empire Stikes Back: 4
Return of the Jedi: 5

Darth Maul was cool. Sorry he died right away.

I'm not. He sucked.

5 = Ep V: ESB
4 = Ep IV: ANH
3 = Ep II: AotC
2 = Ep VI: RoJ
1 = Ep I: PM

I'm expecting Ep III: RoS to be good, but I don't think it will be better than Empire. If the story flows well, it may beat out ANH.

Kung-Fu yoda is awesome!

It's not serious enough?

He's a 3 foot green muppet. How's that for serious?

He's a 3 foot green muppet. How's that for serious?

Correction: He WAS a 3 foot green muppet.

Now he's pixels.

Espertron:

5 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
4 - Episode IV: A New Hope
3 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones
2 - Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
1 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace

Who's the babe in the guest chair? Rack-o!

5 - E IV: A New Hope
4 - E V: The Empire Strikes Back
3 - E II: Attack of the Clones
2 - E VI: Return of the Jedi
1 - EI: Phantom Menace
.5 - EI.V: Christmas Special

5 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
4 - Episode IV: A New Hope
3 - Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi
2 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones
1 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace

No doubt about it.

I can't believe it...of all days to take off work and not sit in front of my computer all day, I've missed a Star Wars Trifecta.

Can we rerun all of this tomorrow? I'm going back to goofing off.

Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (BEST)
Episode IV: A New Hope
Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
Episode I & II: Jar-Jar and Hayden suck (WORST)

Okay, looks like I was a little different.

1 - Ep V - ESB is universally the best
2 - Ep VI - I'm wierd, but I think the fight at Jabba's barge is one of the coolest action scenes in movie history.
3 - Ep IV - ANH was a great use of meagre means, but I don't think the effects age as well as the latter two films.
4 - Ep I - I liked Menace better than Clones because it actually had a consistent feel to it. A childish feel, but at least consistent. It felt like I was watching a mediocre kid's movie, but at least not a shiatty adults' movie like Ep II.
5 - Ep II - Clones feels cobbled together. Jar Jar and Baby Anikin cannot compete with the romance scenes in sheer annoyance. Let's not forget the childish "3po and R2 go to Metal Man's level" and 3po's head ends up on a battledroid body. Plus, the movie just tries so hard to be big and epic, it ends up putting me to sleep. And Dooku sucks Darth Maul's 3rd left horn.

Whoops, swapped the numbers in my post here. Don't worry, I got it right on their site.

Cut and paste-

5 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
4 - Episode IV: A New Hope
3 - Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi
2 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones
1 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace

5: RotJ
4: ANH
3:AotC
2:ESB
1:tPM

Whoa, TheCity, why no lovin for ESB?

To those complaining about Hayden Christensen's acting in AToC, I put the blame soley on Lucas. Christensen does just fine in "Life as a House" and the one where he's the journalist that makes up news stories. Also, Portman and McGregor do great in non-Lucas movies.

In Lucas' world, we will all be stiff cardboard boxes.

5 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
4 - Episode IV: A New Hope
3 - Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi
2 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones
1 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace

#1 Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back.
#2 Episode IV: A New Hope
#3 Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

FWIW:

I was five years old in '77, when A New Hope came out. IMHO, Empire is the best. I was so disappointed with what Lucas did with messing with the original trilogy in the mid-late 90s, and then Phantom Menace, I couldn't bring myself to watch II and III.

The 10 year-old kid in me is royally pissed with what Lucas did to his favorite space movies.

:-(

5 - Star Wars (A New Hope)
4 - Steaming pile of excrement
3-0 - The rest of the Lucas claptrap

/It's a (clap)trap!

5 - Return of the Jedi
4 - The Empire Strikes Back
3 - Attack of the Clones
2 - A New Hope
1 - The Phantom Menace

Seriously, go back and watch Episode 4. The acting and special effects are terrible! Attack of the clones had bad acting, but great visuals.

I liked the one where I was getting laid repeatedly instead of camping out in line for hours wearing a storm trooper helmet. Which one was that? Oh, yeah, all of them.

"The 10 year-old kid in me is royally pissed with what Lucas did to his favorite space movies."

HIS movies. He can do what he wants with them. I enjoyed the Special Editions.

Someone (the fanboys) needs to grow up.

Cinematic Masterpieces:
5 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace
5 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones

Complete CRAP:
1 - Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi
1 - Episode IV: A New Hope
1 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

mc_madness:

Doing your best to live up to the name?

I HAVE SEEN ALL 6...

i was at a screening for the new one earlier this week...

here is the FINAL list. this silly game ends here - so suck on that, nerds...

1 - EMPIRE
2 - A NEW HOPE
3 - JEDI (i hate ewoks - but i love me some speederbikes)
4 - The New One.
5 - CLONES
6 - The first New One.

Oh, and as much as i hate ewoks - i hate a fighting, flipping, hung fu Yoda even more...

for me, it wasn't the Jar Jar that killed the new ones - it was stupid Yoda and his rip off Bruce Lee / Neo Von Matrix moves...

okay, that's all.

Revenge of the Sith could very well become the ultimate FARK drinking movie.

I'm reading the new script at http://scripts.cgispy.com/newsboard.cgi?action=view&num=2&user=script

and it's actually pretty good... (so far)

(no spoilers below)

BUT -- about 2/5ths of the way through, we get:

ANAKIN runs through the hallway and enters Palpatine's box, where the CHANCELLOR is sitting with Mas Amedda and Sly-Moore, watching the Man Calamari Ballet doing "Squid Lake."

/chuckle

in addition, we get not one, not two, not three, but FOUR "it's a trap!" moments:


OBI-WAN: I sense a trap.
ANAKIN: Next move?
OBI-WAN: Spring the trap.

...AND...


OBI-WAN: Wait a minute, how'd this happen! We're smarter than this.
ANAKIN: Apparently not, Master. This is the oldest trap in the book . . . Well ... I was distracted.


...AND...


YODA: Received a coded retreat message, we have.
BAIL ORGANA: It requests all Jedi to return to the Temple. It says that the war is over . . .
OBI-WAN: Well, then we must go back! If there are other stragglers, they will fall into the trap and be killed.

...AND...

BAIL ORGANA: Tell the Chancellor I will be there.
MAS AMEDDA: Very well. He will be expecting you.
MAS AMEDDA's image disappears from the screen.
BAIL ORGANA: It could be a trap.

/it's a trap trap trap trap!
/cue the von trapp family

I'd argue that Empire isn't the best, far from the best because NOTHING HAPPENS. It's all alot of running around and screaming. It's the Blair Witch of the Star Wars series.

5 - Episode IV: A New Hope - without this one we wouldn't even be talking about it.

4 - Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi - Everything that the first one was, but bigger and better. Doesn't score as high as the original because... duh, it's not original and there's those damn ewoks.

3 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back - More running away than a Dr. Who episode. Ranks higher than AOTC due to the "I am your father" bit. Hollow compared to the chills at the end of Kill Bill... "But does she know her daughter is still alive?"

2 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones - The most under-rated of the series. If this one had been episode 1 and episode 1 relegated to a novella or video game or something then nobody would have been pissed.

1 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace - Crap. Utter crap. The first time I saw it the surround sound didn't work and nobody seemed to notice.

i-likes-maple-syrup: What do you guys think is the LOWEST single point of the series?

The scene between Luke and Leia in RotJ in which he tells her they're siblings and Vader is their father. AotC has some real clunkers, and the "sand is rough" line veers dangerously close, but the Luke/Leia scene remains the worst thing in the entire Star Wars saga.

after seeing ROTS today, here's how I rank them.

6. Empire Strikes Back
5. Revenge of the Sith
4. A New Hope
3. Return of the Jedi
2. Attack of the Clones
1. The Phantom Menace

gonna have to go with Moonsage's list:
5 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
4 - Episode IV: A New Hope
3 - Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi
2 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones
1 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace

1) Episode IV - A New Hope (1977)
2) Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983)
3) Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)
4) Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
5) Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)

6 - Star Wars (aka A New Hope) (IV)
5 - The Empire Strikes Back (V)
4 - Revenge of the Sith (III)
5 - Return Of the Jedi (VI)
2 - Attack of the Clones (II)
1 - The Phantom Menace (I)

Lucas can never regain the magic that was Star Wars (the original).

Rank no.4 is just a guess, of course. We'll see.

ZeroCorpse:

I think George Lucas would know far better than you what Yoda would and would not do. It's HIS character...

Yeah, but it still sucks the way he chose to portray Yoda fighting ninja-chipmunk style. Some of us "purists" would have preferred no fighting at all to that.

True, we're talking a work of fiction here, but taking it for what it is, and in the context of the "rules" that Lucas established for it, does it make sense that fighting with lightsabers shows more mastery of the Force that fighting with the Force alone?