FARK.com: (1477027) Rate the "Star Wars" movies in order, with five being the best, one being the worst. Results to be published May 18

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(cincinnati.com)		Rate the "Star Wars" movies in order, with five being the best, one being the worst. Results to be published May 18 (news.cincinnati.com)		243
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snikrepkire		2005-05-09 11:16:57 AM

Oh good. I knew I would be able to just cut and paste any of a bazillion posts -though it WAS hard putting Jedi above clones...
Ewokz r teh jar-jar style sux.

5 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
4 - Episode IV: A New Hope
3 - Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi
2 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones
1 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace

tedZilla		2005-05-09 11:31:14 AM

Ant
I'm going to be 37 next month; I saw IV when I was 9 and have seen IV easily 150 times. I can quote nearly the entire movie. They are by far my favorite movies ever made, if not the best movies made.
AND I still think that I and II were good, and on DVD they are incredible...I don't really like RoTJ very much.

VinDiesel		2005-05-09 11:41:26 AM

Interesting that nearly everyone is putting "Attack of the Clones" ahead of "The Phantom Menace," including the current results of the poll, where AOTC is ahead of TPM.

I thought they were both really bad, but AOTC was one of the worst movies I can remember seeing. I'm no Star Wars geek, so maybe that makes a difference in how you rank them? Despite the whole Jar Jar thing, which was pretty annoying I agree, TPM's inane dialog and mind-numbingly boring "love interest" scenes moves that one squarely in the "worst. movie. evar." category.

Sarcastic Bastard		2005-05-09 11:47:29 AM

Anyone who rated Phantom menace above a 1 gets my boot in their ass.

El Dangeroso		2005-05-09 11:48:31 AM

Attack of the Clones is far and away the worst of the series. While Phantom Menace sucked in large quantities, I think Qui-Gon and Darth Maul overcame Jar Jar and Ani.

What did Clones have going for it? Some old fart Sith and Yoda flipping around like a squirrel? Yoda should never debase himself by fighting. "Wars not make one great." Anyone remember that?

Spankenstein12		2005-05-09 11:51:12 AM

2005-05-09 03:49:15 AM TheXerox

It's REALLY tough for me to rank them as they all have their good and bad points but contribute to the total storyline. You may as well ask me if I'd prefer pizza, cheeseburgers, or a steak.

/on the nose

Handsome Jack Manitoba		2005-05-09 11:59:17 AM

6 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
5 - Episode IV: A New Hope
4 - Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
3 - Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi
2 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace
1 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones

Firefly4F4		2005-05-09 11:59:19 AM

VinDiesel:

Despite the whole Jar Jar thing, which was pretty annoying I agree, TPM's inane dialog and mind-numbingly boring "love interest" scenes moves that one squarely in the "worst. movie. evar." category.

Did you mean "AOTC" in this bit, since there really were no love interest scenes in TPM.

I'll also at this time add that the lightsaber scene at the end of TPM puts it light years ahead of AOTC. I laughed out loud at the Yoda scene with Darth Sidious, as it was too ridiculous, and the big battle scene was just a mess and was done SO much better in the LOTR movies.

Face it -- Clones has no redeeming features. TPM at least has the lightsabre scene, and although I'm sure some will disagree, the race sequence was quite cool too.

4096		2005-05-09 12:06:01 PM

5 - Space: Above and Beyond
4 - Battlestar Galactica
3 - Firefly
2 - Babylon 5
1 - Doctor Who

TheRealVertical		2005-05-09 12:07:35 PM

You guys all suck at reading directions. You're not supposed to rank the films according to one another. You're supposed to rank them each on a scale of 1-5, 5 being the best.

So, if you hated TPM, but thought all of the others were the best movies ever, it would go something like this:

TPM - 1
AOTC - 5
ANH - 5
ESB - 5
ROTJ - 5

Or if you hated them all, you'd give them all 1's. You don't order them, you rate them each individually.

Oldiron_79		2005-05-09 12:10:53 PM

5 Empire Strikes Back
4 A New Hope
3 Attack of the Clones
2 Return of the Jedi
1 The Phantom menace

Yes, I have Ewoks as bad as Jar Jar....

brap		2005-05-09 12:11:50 PM

3 - Mark Hammill: Revenge of the Corvette Summer
2 - Episode 1/2: You Really Think I'm Going to Stop Making These Freaking Things?
1 - The Star Wars Holiday Special: Harvey Korman AND Bea Arther, thanks George, this is the best Life Day EVER!

Jellee Bean		2005-05-09 12:15:57 PM

"You have the social skills of a cheese grater"

i'm soooooooooo remembering that comment.

skinnytie		2005-05-09 12:24:37 PM

As I was born in '79, the only SW flicker I took in at the theater was ROTJ, and the ewoks rock when you're a kid.

I heard an interview with Lucas recently in which he basically gave the finger to his 'fans', saying something like "I am sorry if you enjoyed the incomplete and incorrect versions of the films I wanted to create. The changes I have made and the films I am making now are the story I wanted to tell."

I can respect that.

I do find it odd, however, that the most recent films seem to have been written solely to what he thinks will sell stuff. I mean, respect aside, I can't possibly imagine he had it in his head to make the Storm Troopers clones of some tertiary 'one-of-a-group-of-five' bounty hunter character that he predicted would garner a cult following. Wookie planet = People miss Chewbacca.

It seems like his comments just cancel eachother out.

My point is, though, that the guy seems to think that the drivel (or majesty - you decide) he is putting out now is what he wanted to put out all along. I agree - if your childhood was ruined when this guy 'fixed his mistakes' then your childhood must've been pretty shakey to start with.

Then again, I thought Yoda flipping all over the place was pure genius, so my opinion will likely find no purchase here.

5 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (best opening EVAR)
4 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones (Yoda flippy = gold)
3 - Episode VI: Return of the Jedi (ewoks rule when you're a kid!)
2 - Episode IV: A New Hope (Needs more Tarkin)
1 - Episoce I: The Phantom Menace (Crap)

frankblack		2005-05-09 12:46:15 PM

Phantom
Phantom
Phantom
Phantom
Phantom

Can't get enough of that Jar Jar!!

i-likes-maple-syrup		2005-05-09 12:46:44 PM

What do you guys think is the LOWEST single point of the series? I am tempted to say Jar-Jar, but actually the most pointless scene of them all was the conveyor belt scene in Attack of the Clones. I am a huge defender of that movie, but I can't even focus on what's going on in that scene. It's so pointless.

simian04		2005-05-09 12:47:08 PM

Scratch that. I meant to put all fives. Five is the new number one!!

Brainwash		2005-05-09 12:51:28 PM

5) Return of the Jedi
4) A New Hope
3) Empire Strikes Back
2) Lucas should be shot for editing our childhood memories
1) You can't even find the originals in the store anymore

Greedo didn't shoot first!

lord_spap-oop		2005-05-09 12:51:53 PM

They told you the first prequel would be great, but it blew chunks. They told you the second prequel would be great, but it blew chunks, too. Now they're really going all-out to promote this third chunk-blowing prequel.

/nothing in third prequel could make up for previous two

skinnytie		2005-05-09 12:58:15 PM

i-likes-maple-syrup: What do you guys think is the LOWEST single point of the series?

I would have to say the skimming over of the creation of the Death Star. This thing was epic - pretty much the whole reason we have a Star Wars in the first place. In AOTC we get a glimpse of the plans and find out that some bug/dog/oddball thinigs are building it.

I had it in my head that Grand Moff Tarkin had pioneered the whole deal and it was this great and epic process to build this world splitting device. In AOTC it is like an afterthought. We pay more attention to Anakin rding giant fleas and making an ass of himself when we should be getting to the 2 items that made A New Hope a blast: Vader and the Death Star.

More Tarkin. More Death Star.

So: AOTC's ignorance of the second most iconic device in the SW franchise (Sabres being the first). Lowest point.

Daniels		2005-05-09 01:01:07 PM

5 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
4 - Episode IV: A New Hope
3 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace
2 - Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi
1 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones

Electric Sushi		2005-05-09 01:04:38 PM

5 - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
4 - Episode IV: A New Hope
3 - Episode VI: Return Of the Jedi
2 - Episode I: The Phantom Menace
1 - Episode II: Attack of the Clones

Redwing		2005-05-09 01:11:31 PM

IV
V
VI
I
II

Basically, they've gone "downhill" but they're all still really great movies. All 5 would be in my top 10 movies of all time.

I firmly believe III will be the best bridge between the prequel and the original trilogy and it will make people look at the first two and say "Ohhhhhh...so *THAT* is what he (Lucas) was doing..."

I foresee a lot of people eating their words on the first two movies after they've seen the 3rd one.

T.rex		2005-05-09 01:11:35 PM

the lowest point is when we find out Obi Wan is Ani's dad in Sith... oh, was i supposed to say *Spoilers?

Redwing		2005-05-09 01:13:37 PM

/Kicks Ass!

Xyling		2005-05-09 01:15:08 PM

Submitter sucks.
Thanks to the stupid headline giving the wrong instruction, I gave the Phantom Menace a 5. Asshat.

skalar		2005-05-09 01:16:03 PM

5. Empire Strikes Back
4. New Hope
3. Phantom Menace
2. Attack of the Clones
1. Return of the Jedi

Capt. Happy Hour		2005-05-09 01:19:26 PM

4: Revenge of the Nerds
3: Revenge of the Nerds: The Next Generation
2: Revenge of the Nerds: Nerds in Paradise
1: Revenge of the Nerds: Nerds in Love

cot		2005-05-09 01:21:39 PM

harrinkw:

That's nice and all, but let's please try and keep this discussion on serious cinema.

Care to rank the police academies?

Mikey_B		2005-05-09 01:30:46 PM

5. The Empire Strikes Back
4. A New Hope
3. Return of the Jedi
2. Attack of the Clones
1. The Phantom Menace

tedZilla		2005-05-09 01:32:17 PM

Redwing

I agree, but that storyline with the visions and warpaint BS truly sucked

DaShredda		2005-05-09 01:35:57 PM

I agree with the poster somehwere up top-

When RoTS comes out, people will be like "Ohhhhh snap it's a 6 part movie and together they make sense!"

Master of the Flying Guillotine		2005-05-09 01:38:57 PM

5. The Empire Strikes Back
4. A New Hope
3. Return of the Jedi
2. The Phantom Menace
1. Attack of the Clones

New one better at least be watchable.

Hebalo		2005-05-09 01:40:28 PM

Stunning how many people put ATOC ahead of Phantom Meanace. Phantom was kinda bad, but had some great stuff. the Podrace was stellar, and Darth Maul was top-notch. (lucas should NEVER have killed him off). While it had a lot of problems, nothing Lucas has ever made (except maybe Howard the Duck) was worse than ATOC. It was just plain awful.

bin_smokin		2005-05-09 01:42:27 PM

5 The Empire Strikes Back
4 A new Hope
3 Attack of the clones
2 the Phantom Menace (thanks to Jar Jar Binks)
1 Return of the Jedi (the ewoks made this move the worst of the bunch)

LucklessWonder		2005-05-09 01:43:32 PM

5. A New Hope (It's the most self-contained and the best Movie)
4. Empire Strikes Back (best Story, Yoda stuff drags)
3. Attack of the Clones (Yeah, that's right, above ROTJ)
2. Return of the Jedi (Farkin' Ewoks)
1. Phantom Menace (Jack Farking LLoyd)
0. The Star Wars Holiday Special (Farking Itchy)

cot		2005-05-09 01:47:26 PM

Hebalo:

Stunning how many people put ATOC ahead of Phantom Meanace. Phantom was kinda bad, but had some great stuff. the Podrace was stellar, and Darth Maul was top-notch. (lucas should NEVER have killed him off).

The podrace blew, imo. Too long, uninteresting, and seemed to be there more as a videogame opportunity than anything.

Darth Maul looked cool. Did he have any dialogue at all? There was zero character development for him (even relatively speaking) so I was pretty indifferent to him.

Looking cool is not enough to attract my interest for any length of time, unless cool boobies are involved.

Brainwash		2005-05-09 01:48:05 PM

I'm still amazed how people disrespect ROtJ because of the ewoks. Did you forget the first 20 minutes of that movie? I'd take that first 25 minutes of ROTJ over the entire length of AOTC or PM any day.

MrStench		2005-05-09 01:48:42 PM

I do understand the way they have the ranking, i.e., they are averaging the number scores. However, I wonder how many people won't RTFI and will rank their favorite as 1 and their least favorite as 5.

missyd		2005-05-09 01:50:03 PM

5. Empire
4. A New Hope
3. Jedi
2. Attack of the Clones
1. Phantom Menace

docilej		2005-05-09 02:05:11 PM

5. Empire
4. A New Hope
3. Attack of the Clones
2. Jedi
1. Phantom Menace

prefect42		2005-05-09 02:16:41 PM

skinnytie
More Tarkin. More Death Star.

No.... more COWBELL.
:)

ZeroCorpse		2005-05-09 02:29:15 PM

I'm just amazed at the people who are ranking Revenge of the Sith at all, considering it's not even out yet and you couldn't possibly know how good it is.

5. Empire Strikes Back
4. Attack of the Clones
3. A New Hope
2. Return of the Jedi
1. The Phantom Menace

This does not mean I didn't like TPM, though. I am one of those people who enjoyed it a lot, and I really dig all the political maneuvering in eps. 1-3.

I like them ALL. I really don't understand the whiny bastards who refuse to enjoy the prequel trilogy. They work awful damn hard to find fault with it, and complain to no end about the tiniest things.

Finally, in that "case for the Empire" article, the author fails to mention the fact that the Empire practices racial slavery (as with the Wookiees), encourages xenophobia, and that the leaders of the Empire KILL THEIR OFFICERS when they are displeased with them, among other things. Sure, you can pretend the Empire's just defending some conservative ideal of order, but any government that enslaves people, destroys a planet without a trial (even if Leia lied, and Alderaan had weapons and sympathized with the Rebel Alliance, it was also full of innocent life; Animals, plants, children, and civilians, not to mention literature, history and artwork that was all destroyed in one shot).

And how about the "join us or die" ideal of the Empire? That's hardly giving Luke much of a choice, is it? How about the slaughter of the Sandcrawler's inhabitants? Not only did the Empire kill Beru and Owen, but even if you consider Luke's aunt and uncle traitors, you have to question a government that would destroy a business, slaughter all its employees, and try to pin the blame on another species, just for temporarily possessing contraband. Those Jawas were just traders. They didn't know anything about hidden plans, and they really didn't care about the war between the Empire and the Rebellion.

How about the arbitrary seizure of Bespin's mining facility? A legitimate, legal operation is seized and taken over by a military presence with the intention of capturing FOUR rebels? Potentially millions of people lose their jobs, their home, and their lives because the Emperor wants to capture a few of his enemies? Not the act of a benign ruler at all.

Lets not forget the torture sessions. Vader tortured Leia twice, and he tortured Han and Chewie once. Outright torture, too- Not just inflicting a little pain, but making them feel outright agony in an effort to lure their friend to the rescue.

The case for the Empire is weak. It's clear the Empire cares nothing for civil rights, individual rights, or racial equality. They use military might to keep people in control. The people have no voice, no vote, no options, and no control over their taxes, policies, or lives.

ZeroCorpse		2005-05-09 02:34:32 PM

Sorry... Let me finish this sentence...

Sure, you can pretend the Empire's just defending some conservative ideal of order, but any government that enslaves people, destroys a planet without a trial is obviously evil or tyrannical.

ryant123		2005-05-09 02:37:14 PM

Hebalo: stunning how many people put ATOC ahead of Phantom Meanace.

Agreed. AOTC was just paaaainnnnful. I mean what the hell was that scene in the factory about? And the "O my sweet your skin is so soft, unlike this grainy sand." And that dumb gladiator scene. And what the hell kind of name is 'Count Dooku'?

As for Phantom, I mean Jar Jar Binks was annoying, the christ-child stuff was unnecessary, and that trade embargo shiat was idiotic, but if you get down to brass tacks Darth Maul was cool, Liam Neeson made a good Jedi, the pod race was neat, that gungan vs robots battle was kind of cool too, and the final fight against Darth Maul was awesome. The only scenes AOTC had was 5 seconds of Anikan fighting Count Dooku, and then Yoda doing the same. And I guess that water-planet was interesting.

LoneCoon		2005-05-09 02:42:04 PM

Is the special editon DVD going to edit in scenes of Hayden Christensen actually acting?

All in all, what Star Wars has been is the story of Anakin Skywalker, from his childhood to his death a story of one man who want's nothing more than to be loved.

Or perhaps just an excuse to have lightsabers, spaceships, and stuff.

skinnytie		2005-05-09 02:43:43 PM

The people have no voice, no vote, no options, and no control over their taxes, policies, or lives.

Hey, don't be so down on Star Wars fans. Just because we can seriously discuss the political aspects and impacts of a kids movie whose most memorable characters are Frank Oz's hand and a piece of molded plastic with Thulsa Doom's voice doesn't mean we don't have LIVES!

Sure, I don't have control over my taxes, don't even know if I have policies and consider it a pretty good day when I can get a few more arguments in on behalf of the rebel insurgence, but that doesn't mean I have nothing better to do with my time. I choose to ignore the real world in liu of one inhabited by muppets...

/thinks they're great movies - but still movies
//doesn't speak klingon
///owns 'han fired first' shirt

civildisobedient		2005-05-09 02:47:21 PM

if you get down to brass tacks Darth Maul was cool

No. Darth Maul was ridiculous. He was an enemy created for and disposed of in just one episode, and poorly at that. Ooooh, scaaary. Hell, I thought the Emperor's Guards (those guys in all-red with the tall helmuts) had more bad-assery than friggin' Darth Maul.

What the hell kind of name is that, anyway? Darth, like Vader, but Maul, 'cause he'll maaaaul you. Like a bear. Rrrr. Survey says: Lame.

DaShredda		2005-05-09 02:52:00 PM

Survey Says...

You're a tool!

Darth Maul was cool. Sorry he died right away.

Wank some milk, baby? What's that? You're just a baby so you can't ask for milk, but you want some? Why don't you cry for me?