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(Chicago Breaking News)   Man attacks roommate with an ashtray, pliers, a hammer, a fire extinguisher, a dumbbell and, finally, a knife after dispute over a chicken dinner.   (chicagotribune.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing  
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5635 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Apr 2002 at 4:47 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



97 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2002-04-01 04:50:39 PM  
Bet that hurt
 
2002-04-01 04:50:40 PM  
Also called 911 on himself...
 
2002-04-01 04:51:27 PM  
Damn dude...just use a gun like any normal American
 
2002-04-01 04:51:45 PM  
I called 'white meat' first.
Now I's gots to hitcha with the ashtray!
 
2002-04-01 04:52:26 PM  
I'm not sure I would have formalised image of of attacking someone with pliers.
 
2002-04-01 04:52:28 PM  
An ashtray. See? Smoking's bad for you.
 
2002-04-01 04:52:28 PM  
Ashtray ain't workin'.
Goin' for the pliers next.
 
2002-04-01 04:53:11 PM  
i wish they had a video
 
2002-04-01 04:53:11 PM  
Everything but the kitchen sink huh?
 
2002-04-01 04:53:54 PM  
Sewved de chicken dief wight, wittwe bastawd.
 
2002-04-01 04:53:57 PM  
Sorry, ever since I clicked this box, "Reload comments after posting" in my user thing, My computar has acted Haxo4ed.
 
2002-04-01 04:54:22 PM  
Yeah de guy survived bein' whup'en fo' some chicken , but ah' GUARANTEE ya', if dey wuz fightin' ova' a Nattie Light, de guy would've sho' nuffly benn wasted.

Can't Mess wid some man's Nattie . Right On! . Right On! . Right On!
 
2002-04-01 04:54:22 PM  
Who got the bisquit????
 
2002-04-01 04:54:39 PM  
Wow, man, I hope I get a roomate dumb enough NOT to use a knife right away.
 
2002-04-01 04:54:47 PM  
"A spokeswoman for the Illinois Department of Corrections said Norington was imprisoned in 1990 after pleading guilty to a charge of second-degree murder in Kankakee County. He was sentenced to 15 years and released in 1997"

Nice
 
2002-04-01 04:55:31 PM  
Take that. And that.
 
2002-04-01 04:55:36 PM  
They said the two fought over a chicken dinner. Norington accused Hale of taking more than his share and attacked him with an ashtray, pliers, a hammer, a fire extinguisher, a dumbbell and, finally, a knife, then called 911 about 2:30 a.m. to report the incident, prosecutors said.

That's nothing - wait until they start to run out of toilet paper...
 
2002-04-01 04:55:58 PM  
you'd think said victim would have run away about the time the fourth or fifth object was trotted out. he takes the ashtray, that doesn't work, "wait right here," runs to the kitchen junkdrawer, grabs the pliers, that doesn't work, "wait right here," runs to the kitchen junkdrawer, grabs the hammer....
 
2002-04-01 04:57:05 PM  
edited out:

"De chicken escaped uneaten, uh-hah-hah-hah. "
 
2002-04-01 04:57:20 PM  
Temper Temper.. that dude needs some anger management courses. I mean chicken is good allright...but, sheeeesh. Could you imagine what that cat would've done if he caught his roommate droppin' a "D" in his old lady??
 
2002-04-01 04:58:11 PM  
Scary, I had a brawl with a roomate that included an ashtray first, then a TV dinner tray (shattered over my skull, making a mess but causing absolutely no pain) a folding chair, and finally, he pulled a knife....

he's no longer on my christmas card list....
 
2002-04-01 04:58:41 PM  
sounds like he used everything but the kitchen sink on the dude.
 
2002-04-01 04:59:23 PM  
Cheeckee? Cuoold hefe-a et leest mede-a it a lemb ruest oor sumetheeng. Thet vuoold hefe-a beee vurt keelling oofer..
Bork Bork Bork!
 
2002-04-01 04:59:52 PM  
who says chicken doesn't kill.
 
2002-04-01 04:59:54 PM  
Oh God.. I knew it...
 
2002-04-01 05:00:12 PM  
Why'd they charge him with 1st degree murder. Doesn't sound premeditated to me
 
2002-04-01 05:00:13 PM  
chicken dinnew and in Cook County.... nayone ewse dink dats iwonic?
 
2002-04-01 05:00:58 PM  
lol.... you too Bumjube ..?
 
2002-04-01 05:01:45 PM  
He used da ketchen sunk last week un ar dezpute wif da lenlady.
 
2002-04-01 05:02:24 PM  
"Subsequent reports indicate that Chicago General's chief medical examiner later extracted the kitchen sink from the deceased's rectum."

.....
 
2002-04-01 05:02:32 PM  
"I feel like chicken tonight, chicken tonight..."
 
2002-04-01 05:02:57 PM  
Vegasj:
We all know I don't often make sense... that certainly proves it..
 
2002-04-01 05:03:25 PM  
Is it april 2 yet? This dialect thing is, well...disconcerting
 
2002-04-01 05:03:36 PM  
WTF? Why did de dude hang awound anyway? And wtf is up wif getting a muwdewew fow a woomate anyway?
 
2002-04-01 05:04:53 PM  
lol... awwwww, it's not THAT bad.... I usually understand ya....
er..... wait, that's not helping me much....hmmmm
 
2002-04-01 05:05:19 PM  
Hmmm.... tastes like chicken?
 
2002-04-01 05:05:47 PM  
"how dare you take my toothpick you sob of a biatch!"
*throws cotton balls, ice cream, a toilet seat and one egg before finding his gun under a pile of previously thrown crap*

Above: The misadventures of 2 silly roommates.
 
2002-04-01 05:05:49 PM  
This travesty is indicative of the inevitable fall of western society as it is currently understood...

did the dialect thin work???Hee!
 
2002-04-01 05:06:19 PM  
**slams friend with dumbell, then twists nose with pliers**

This is my frickin' chicken, biatch!!!
 
2002-04-01 05:07:12 PM  
[image from img.fark.com too old to be available]
...until you realize that the guy got bludgeoned to death
 
2002-04-01 05:07:12 PM  
Is it just the chef? Or are there others?
 
2002-04-01 05:08:24 PM  
Roommate wanted. Non smoker, non construction worker, non fireman, non weight lifter, non murderer preferred. Must share chicken dinners.
 
2002-04-01 05:09:19 PM  
Bumjube, I think the filter is all of the characters from somebodies B-day PS for Slayerswine, at least that's wha tit seems.
 
2002-04-01 05:10:07 PM  
I haven't figured out the dialect thing. There's the Chef, there's Valleyspeak, there's one that's supposed to be a wordy geek but isn't, there's an ebonics, but it doesn't hit everyone all the time.

Interesting.
 
2002-04-01 05:10:51 PM  
It's been going all day.
 
2002-04-01 05:10:56 PM  
How about making the ad read, "Must be vegetarian, or allergic to poultry"?
 
2002-04-01 05:11:03 PM  
Exactly how did he use the pliers?
 
2002-04-01 05:11:26 PM  
[image from lileks.com too old to be available]
 
2002-04-01 05:11:28 PM  
After you post, look at the top of the thread, if the filter got you, it tells you which one it was.
 
2002-04-01 05:12:04 PM  
I must pay more attention to these small details...

Thanks Virion, Ctenidae
 
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