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(Chicago Sun-Times)   Ebert trashes 'Death to Smoochy' unmercilfully   ( divider line
    More: Obvious  
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11551 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Apr 2002 at 1:47 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

151 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-03-31 11:05:13 PM  
From looking at the trailers, Ebert is probably right on in this review.

We begin with Rainbow Randolph, played by Robin Williams, an actor who should never, ever, play a clown of any description, because the role writes a license for him to indulge in those very mannerisms he should be striving to purge from his repertory.

I couldn't have said it better (or more verbosely) myself.
2002-04-01 01:48:53 AM  
Who cures uf he was right? It gives us an excuse two declure war on Ebert da Hutt!
2002-04-01 01:49:33 AM  
Vhile ve're at it, vhy nicht take out R-r-roeper too?
2002-04-01 01:50:30 AM  
Vhat ze fark ist goingkt on mitt mein language?
2002-04-01 01:50:43 AM  
I can't stand de way Woepew whines when he awgues.
2002-04-01 01:50:47 AM  
It's a R-r-robin Wilhelms mofies, r-r-right? Better be on ze safe side undt pan it.
2002-04-01 01:50:59 AM  
Herr Curtis, fer shure, I can dig this super much.
2002-04-01 01:51:13 AM  
Sedly, thees mufeee-a prubebly dues soock.
Sev zee prefeeoo oon Cumedy Centrel, sev a seemiler refeeoo in zee noospeper, it luuks FERY BED
2002-04-01 01:52:11 AM  
Crep, I et leest vunt a cuul deeelect. I keep getteeng stoopeed oones, leeke-a punsy und redneck.
Bork Bork Bork!
2002-04-01 01:52:16 AM  
The Valspeak ez da way uf da future, vor sure.
2002-04-01 01:52:19 AM  
Please Gene Siskel rise frum yer grave an' save us frum yer former partner!
2002-04-01 01:52:32 AM  
"Only enormously talented guys could have made "Death to Smoochy." Those with lesser gifts would have lacked thuh nerve to make a film so mean, fer shure, so miscalculated, man, so lackin' any connection with any possible audience. To make a film this awful, oh, baby, you have to have enormous ambition and confidence, like, and dream biatchin'est dreams."

I just want to see what thuh filter did to thuh above paragraph for my own amusement.
2002-04-01 01:52:40 AM  
and swedish chef.
2002-04-01 01:53:11 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

Ebert hasn't been relevant since Q-bert was relevant.
2002-04-01 01:54:09 AM  
Ah didn' have sexual relashuns with that girlie, Ms. Lewinsky. *spit*
2002-04-01 01:54:20 AM  
what de fu.k is going on, uh-hah-hah-hah.
2002-04-01 01:54:21 AM  
a...f.u.n, uh-hah-hah-hah. k.y...d.a.y...a.t...F.a.w.k,..t.o...s.a.y...t.h.e..
2002-04-01 01:54:29 AM  
He kan go join Siskel...
2002-04-01 01:54:37 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

It stinks! Gag me with a SPOOOOON!
2002-04-01 01:55:06 AM  
I am not a goddamn wedneck, bastawds!
2002-04-01 01:55:15 AM  
2002-04-01 01:55:56 AM  
2002-04-01 01:56:12 AM  
I vant to know, hafe you efer seen ze rain?
R-r-rollingkt, r-r-rollingkt, r-r-rollingkt on ze rifer.
2002-04-01 01:56:16 AM  
p.e. Like, ooh.r."f. Like, ooh.u.n. Let me tell you...e. Like, ooh.t.a. You know, honey?k,".t.h.o.u.g.h....
2002-04-01 01:56:31 AM  
Barbie Doll Love, eet'th not normal.
Barbie Doll Love, eet'th not normal.
2002-04-01 01:56:42 AM  
I want to make it perfectly clear what I do not intend to do in thith letter before I carry on with what I do wish to accomplish with it. What followth ith the thtory of how Roger Ebert can be tho rich in the rhetoric of democrathy and yet tho poor in itth implementation. Let me tell you... In many wayth, hith cauthe ith not gloriuth. It ith not wonderful. It ith not thplendid. Who ith he to dethide what ith morally actheptable for uth and what ith not? Nonetheleth, Roger'th anticth are a mathterpiethe of dithorganizthed phallothentrithm. Let me tell you... But what, you may athk, doezth any of that have to do with the theme of thith letter, viz. Fabuluth!, that hith propaganda machine grindth on and on? Well, onthe you begin to thee the light, you'll realizthe that if you read between the linezth of hith utterantheth, you'll undeniably find that he ith utterly mithtaken if he believezth that the only way to ekthpand one'th mind ith with drugth -- or maybe even chocolate. Like, ooh. Okay, I've written enough for one letter, tho let me jutht finish by thaying that thooner or later, Roger Ebert will turn hith back on thothe who need him the motht.
2002-04-01 01:56:49 AM  
pansy kills eferdingkt.
2002-04-01 01:57:25 AM  
t.h.i.s. t.e.x.t. f.i.l.t.e.r. i.s. r.e.a.l.l.y f.u.c.k.i.n.g g.a.y.
2002-04-01 01:57:27 AM  
Conversion software version seven point o. Looking at life through the eyes of a tire nut.
2002-04-01 01:57:35 AM  
I wanna make it puh'fectly clear whut ah' do not intend t'do in did letta' befo'e ah' carry on wid whut ah' do wish t'accomplish wid it. What followd id de dto'y uh how Roga' Ebert kin be do rich in de rheto'ic uh democrady and yet do poo' in itd implementashun. Let me tell ya'... In many wayd, hid caude id not glo'iud. It id not wonderful. It id not dplendun did. Who id he t'dedide whut id mo'ally acdeptable fo' ud and whut id not? Nonedeled, Roger'd anticd are some madterpiede uh dido'ganizded phallodentridm. 'S coo', bro. Let me tell ya'... But whut, ya' may adk, doezd any uh dat gots'ta do wid de deme uh did letter, viz. Slap mah fro! Fabulud. Right On! , dat hid propaganda machine grindd on and on? Sheeit, onde ya' begin t'dee da damn light, ya''ll realizde dat if ya' eyeball between de linezd uh hid utteranded, ya''ll undeniably find dat he id utterly midsnatchn if he recon'zd dat da damn only way t'ekdpand one'd mind id wid drugd -- o' maybe even chocolate. What it is, Mama! Like, ooh. Okay, I've written enough fo' one letter, do let me judt finish by dayin' dat doona' o' later, Roga' Ebert gots'ta turn hid back on dode who need him de modt.
2002-04-01 01:58:02 AM  
You've all gone mad!!!

2002-04-01 01:58:13 AM  
That read like a Mr. Mmmh. Cranky review. Wow.
2002-04-01 01:58:28 AM  
Apparently de postmodern filta' duz nodin' t'SOAD lyrics.
2002-04-01 01:59:12 AM  
Cornbread - No, I believe the semiotic object is you who has lost it, sir.
2002-04-01 02:00:28 AM  
Is thayure uh 1337 dialect?
2002-04-01 02:02:13 AM  
I loike makun' mi own dierlects, Drew?

Yar gut dat, foo?

I kun muk ze dialects, twoo.
2002-04-01 02:02:44 AM  
Ram it up yer poop chute Ramius, don't pick on Corn-Bread, only Ah can do that!
2002-04-01 02:04:57 AM  
Dat vas ze funetak dialect filter on top uff a bad brogue, a "homeboy," undt a French, brought to you by Farkette number... I kanna' r-r-remember... on DFDC r-r-radio...
2002-04-01 02:06:22 AM  
I theenk it's thet F#%*n feeend Veennie-a zee Puuh! Du ya theenk it's joost a cueencidence-a hees shurt is RED!!!! Booll-F#$#N St!!! Demn cummeee-a-hoogg'n stooffffed freek! Und joost vhet is hees releshunsheep veet Peeglett!!! F$#%*N seeck A$&S FREEKS!!!! BOoOoRRRPPPPP! Eh, better...
Bork Bork Bork!
2002-04-01 02:08:05 AM  
Heh, man, I just watched "Ebert & Roeper" where they review this...Roeper said that "maybe thuh French will like it."

Well, fer shure, I thought it was funny...
2002-04-01 02:08:12 AM  
thtupid moronth
2002-04-01 02:13:47 AM  
I have nine fin'ers and they're all very busy...
2002-04-01 02:15:31 AM  
Wow, Cranky rated it better than Ebert.
2002-04-01 02:15:39 AM  
First uff, I'm ar huge Nortwon fan. That's da own we reazon em sor des movie.

Secondly.. Thez movie sucked mi sack. It was extremely odd.. nut un ar gud way, bot un an uncohearnt, en very unpleasant wun.

Ebert actuawly got des wun right. You want two see asunune? See huz review uf Fight Club.
2002-04-01 02:15:51 AM  
You babeth may have computerth, but I have thomething much better. Mmmh. My2thentth locked up in my bathement, in nothing but a paper bag.
2002-04-01 02:15:56 AM  
Mu-ha, oh, baby, the pansy dialect affected me not.
2002-04-01 02:18:34 AM  
This dialect is semiotically gettin as counter poetical and crappy as Joan Rivers' Vagina. Yechh!! Gag Gag.
2002-04-01 02:18:45 AM  
Could someone please explain what thuh hell is ya know, like, with these random dialects, like, or point me to thuh thread that explains WHY they're bein' used?
2002-04-01 02:19:04 AM  
Freak - Dank ya' fo' leavin' out da damn scatological references.
2002-04-01 02:19:37 AM  
Yeah, usuawly Ebert ez da gud wun. Oh well...
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