Oh cool, it's one of the USA USA USA fark THE WORLD IF THEY DONT LIKE US BEING THE UPSTART HICKS WE ARE jingoist threads.

Oh look: I retorted, trolled and stated fact in one sentence. Go me.

Despite the fact that it's from The Onion, it's probably true. I'm looking forward to not being able to get laid when I'm in Turkey for a month, this August. Pity, too... Turkish women are teh hawt.

tzzhc4 -I am just so tired of the Europeans biatching about America this and America that, didn't they just dig up a giant mass grave from people Hussain had slaughtered, how can they think leaving that guy in power was good. Oh I forgot he owed a couple of the European super powers large sums of money.

Stop watching ABC, it's bad for your brain :(

I really hope my trip to Germany this Fall doesn't suck. This article only reinforces my fears.

Hey, no wonder!

I'm a european, and even I can't get laid here.

Freakman: Shenanigans



Nice work figuring out that an Onion satire article was Shenanigans. You should be helping OJ find the real killer.

Pete & Repete were in a boat. Pete fell out....who's left?



/*yawn* going back to my comics now

jeffcor13

I can't resist. I won't argue along lines of "America didn't 'invent' democracy, human rights or free markets you farking idiot, get an education".

Rather:

Given your level of spelling and the attitudes you hold, it would be excusable for Europe not to believe in the inherrint [sic] value of human life. Afterall, it is that belief that makes America so exceptional.

Europe isn't exactly a homogenous entity. If you go to the poorer bits like Eastern Europe or Turkey they'll still be impressed by your wallet wonderful personality.

"Tell them you are Canadian. Everyone loves us."

Great. The last things Canadians need is for Americans to run around giving them a bad name.

You people can overanalyze this piece of satire all you want. I laughed my farking butt off reading it.

"This affects all of us," Higgs said. "The government has to acknowledge the needs of young Americans. Too many U.S. citizens in foreign lands are spending sleepless, lonely nights jerking off in increasingly filthy sleeping bags. It sucks."


that, my friends, is one golden piece of prose..

Well, it's easy to get laid in Frankfurt, Germany, even if you're an American. Of course, you'll probably be robbed blind by masses of gypsy kids that pop out of nowhere while you're getting laid, but you'll still get laid.

I like gypsies. They don't care if you're a Canadian, American, Briton, Frenchy, or whichever. They'll rob you blind regardless.

Say, where do I get one of those maple leaf patches to sew on my backpack? I just have to throw in an "Eh" after every sentence, right?

As soon as the French guys hear I am from the U.S., all they want to do is argue politics.

Not new.

Man, this is stupid. Most American don't travel and live overseas for an extended period of time. Besides, the article is a piece of satire. Pretty funny, though. Respect Mine!

Just tell them you're Islamic.

Probably a bunch of losers that can't get laid HERE thinking they will magically get all kinds of laid if they just went to Europe.

Also unless you know the language of the country you are in at the time forget getting laid...

smile

It's like the smell of blood for certain Canadians, Aussies, and Europeans when they see a chance to bash Americans/America on the forum.

How can we help it when you make yourselves into the perfect target?

I'm an American that has seen every episode of Trailer Park Boys. That should be enough to pass as a Canadian.

Hmmm, like the guy in the first paragraph, I happen to be a Johns Hopkins student. I hope that life doesn't imitate art when I go to Prague in June...

You guys can still get laid the way you alway did. It justs costs you a little more now.

I've learned that getting pissy about people being pissy just hasn't helped. In NZ I had a couple of great coversations that started out with "you're an American? Fark you!" to which I replied "Fark you too!" and then moved on to the fun stuff. It's only when you spend time Frenchfooting around the issues that you can't make friends/get tail...

Well I guess Americans into the whole hirsute thing will have to stick with homegrown hippies. So sad.

2005-05-01 12:26:34 AM jqfarker

Tell them you are Canadian. Everyone loves us.

At first glance that sounds like a great idea, but unfortunately euro chicks know that Canadians fark like dead fish and have small penae, so thats out.

/I keed

I'm pretty sure I'd have a harder time as a French in the US, than an American would have in France.

2005-05-01 04:48:31 AM The Southern Dandy
At first glance that sounds like a great idea, but unfortunately euro chicks know that Canadians fark like dead fish and have small penae, so thats out.

/I keed



Heh, yeah, we know you keed. It never sounded like a good idea. ;)

I'm a European student and I can't get laid in Europe either :(

Maybe I should come to the US? I mean, women are dumb by default, so American women must be ridiculously easy to get in bed. I'll just impress them with my awesome... foreignerness... and make up a bullshiat story about being in some royal family, holding an important goverment job in Italy while I spend all day on my 200m yaught in Monaco.

when i started my travels abroad, my plan was to just say im canadian. there is much truth in the article, but from my experience, people totally change their attitude when i tell them i am from california. they always ask if im from america with an obvious look of displeasure in there face, but i mention cali and their eyes light up and welcome me with open arms.

naw, cause to americans if you aren't from america you are a terrorist.

i say i'm from anywhere BUT america.

heh and it's kinda funny how this is what gets america's attention, finally starting to figure out that they are dispised by the rest of the planet.

they should've got the hint that it's bad when crowds chant "osma" at sporting events, and the only hookers that american businessmen can get are lowest-of-the-barrel starving trannies.

Ok Eurotrash, just remember all Americans love Bush.

...morons

Y'all were basically the 51st state.

Dumbass. Mexico doesn't count. I ate+drank free for a week in Japan because the staff found out I was Canadian.

i didnt think about it until just now, but this reminds me of my last weekend. i went down south (in new zealand) with an aussie friend of mine. he kept complaining to me that the women we met practically opened their legs for me as soon as they heard my accent, but completely blew him off. i know my physical appearance couldn't have anything to do with it, so i can only assume it was the accent!

Reason why they dont get laid in Europe

Fragzav:

I'm pretty sure I'd have a harder time as a French in the US, than an American would have in France.


Au contraire, notre reputation est faite. Pour les Amricains, les francais sont des latins, donc jouissent de la meme reputation que les italiens et les espagnols, en plus sophistiques grace l'exception culturelle qui est tant vantee par nos politiques, et malgre le pourcentage de beaufs dans la population qui n'a rien a envier a nos voisins europeens et a nos cousins outre-Atlantique.

Sinon en amour, les differences culturelles sont toujours sympa.

Mais quoiqu'il en soit, t'as pas de soucis a te faire, d'apres les experiences de mon frangin dans la cite des anges. Tu viens d'ou a Paris?

/Parigot deracine
// Sorry for the threadjack.

To the anglophones around here, I was just saying that the the large chunk of truth in this onion article is not so sizable (for argument's sake the article was built around a few fantasies, not truth, but it's still good read): men and women everywhere are often turned on by members of other cultures (no gay pun intended). Genetic titillation or curiosity, I guess.

French people talk politics in an aggressive manner? They also do it among themselves, it's a pastime. Advice to travellers: argue back, you'll get respect for that. If you keep disagreeing, blame cultural differences, and get another drink.

Fat wallets, the kind of item I seldom carry with me, can get you laid, but don't necessarily lead to satisfaction.

My cofee havin' percolated, I'm off. It's a beautiful day in Europe.

But make sure you're not around actual Canadians, because they'll know you're lying and cock-block you.

Ah, comedy gold. As an actual Canadian, I'd probably do it too.

so silly that the onion would piss this many people off. Come on guys, it's a joke.

Yeah there is some truth to it since many in Europe aren't so hot on our war or the fact that we have mocked them (freedom fries) over the past few years. Sure the EU has complained about us blowing our budget to hell and so on and so forth. However none of that changes the fact that most farking nations on the other side of the atlantic are our friends. Just take it easy guys...

Also, for the "rah rah rah, fark em if they don't like us" crowd, wouldn't it be better to try to figure out why a void is growing between Europe and the Unites States instead of mocking them and claiming that their world view is wrong? Just sayn' sometimes a little empathy is better than hostility.

Sorry if my previous post seemed to indicate I gave any credance to an onion article. I got no sense of clarity this morning.

Have a nice day, people.

It is very very true, however someone who knows about politics and cn articulate an intelligent disagreement with US foreign policy can get away easily. I was in Amsterdam, I had just drawn the portrait of a beautiful Chilean girl and I was about to proceed with operation Score Like There's No Tomorrow, when politics came up. I started talking bout my usual hatred for all things Bush, etc etc, and she liked it enough that instead of scoring me, she brought in her friend the gay Chilean DJ to join in the conversation... great...

Oh, the Canadian trick works well, especially if you have passable French.

And my final weapon in my arsenal, dual citizenship, which means two passports, one being European. Alllll-riiiiiiight...

Wallabies rugby jumpers get you laid in europe.

Not in england though.

The French Government once ordered 1 million condoms from an American manufacturer, and seeing an opportunity to put the Americans in their place, they ordered the condoms to be made 12 inches long, 5 inches in diameter, and with the strongest material available.
The condoms were manufactured as ordered, and shipped to the French as requested. Every single box and each condom therein was labeled with "Medium" and "Made in the USA".

This summer I'm headed off to Spain. However, I doubt I'll be getting laid. This is not due to the whole Anti American thing though, rather I'll be spending 90% of the time with my family... a bunch of old people who reflect fondly the days of Franco. I suppose I'm going to enjoy the food, the time with family, the culture and not talking about politics during diner. If nothing else, it should be a pretty laid back month.

(BTW: While I've never been to Europe before I'm somewhat pissed at the idea of missing every baseball game from June 1st- July)

Wake 'n Bake: Ok Eurotrash,

but even the ones who didnt vote Bush....
point?

I was in France summer 2002 and didn't have any problems with people. It was really nice, except for the fact a no one seemed to pick up their dog crap.



^^ my own crumby Chateau d'If picture

tisack: Tu viens d'ou a Paris?


This is the view from my window (today is a lot sunnier though), have a guess :-)

Why fornicate with a floozy foreigner when you can fap with your fist for free anytime?

/Way past my bedtime

The Dark One, Fragsav

I thought the view from my house in Auckland was awesome...now I can't wait 'til next year when I take off for Europe!