FARK.com: (1465571) Missing bride Jennifer Wilbanks found alive in New Mexico

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		Missing bride Jennifer Wilbanks found alive in New Mexico (foxnews.com)		574
		More: NewsFlash

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31157 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Apr 2005 at 3:45 AM | Favorite | share:

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Cerie		2005-04-30 05:45:24 AM

*watching CNN they were talking to her mother*
Why would you call you step-father and mom first?

If you had just been released from kidnappers wouldn't you run like hell to a phone to call the police before they change their mind and came back to kill you?

morrisonsl		2005-04-30 05:45:48 AM

Wait, didn't fark already hand down the death penalty for the husband? Will that case now be reviewed?

HRPuffinStuff		2005-04-30 05:48:17 AM

Why is she "in police custody" and not "being cared for by police/hospital/medical personnel"?

dudemanbro		2005-04-30 05:49:34 AM

Ufia Bagota		2005-04-30 05:54:08 AM

"Honey, our wedding isn't big enough and isn't getting enough attention outside of our small, two-bit town. Could you pull a Gump and take a long jog while I call the media?"

Seneca Doane		2005-04-30 05:55:10 AM

Those of you saying she looks like Sarah Silverman should be burned at the stake! Ms. Silverman is a goddess!

TommyymmoT		2005-04-30 05:55:16 AM

"Why is she "in police custody" and not "being cared for by police/hospital/medical personnel"?

She's in protective custody.

She vaguely mentioned something about an order of protection against someone called HRPuffinStuff.

I keed

huszar!		2005-04-30 05:56:35 AM

For once, a happy ending.

Congrats. Methinks the honeymoon will be even hotter.

Discordian36		2005-04-30 06:02:29 AM

Beartoy now you've done it. There is a vodka and coke now covering my keyboard.

thisispete		2005-04-30 06:10:01 AM

gameshowhost:
Did I call that one or what?
2005-04-30 04:31:35 AM gameshowhost
Not long before the Agent Orange kid makes an appearance, I'll guess.
/see 2005-04-30 04:52:00 AM thisispete

Well, I was going to do that one or the Hypnotoad. But yes, you certainly did call it. I don't think I even took yourpost in when I skimmed the thread.

Uncanny.

Seneca Doane		2005-04-30 06:11:05 AM

huszar!: For once, a happy ending.

Oh come one... you don't suspect that she actually just ditched the guy and made up the kidnapping story? I thought we were all cynics on Fark.

jook		2005-04-30 06:13:48 AM

Once again, hundreds of hours and hundreds of thousands of dollars have been devoted toward finding a lying coont.

Call the cops.

HRPuffinStuff		2005-04-30 06:18:29 AM

TommyymmoT: She's in protective custody

I wish they'd just say that then. The media cuts out little words like "protective" or "police" or "deadly south american spider" and the whole thing changes.

She's in custody and her fiance is acting like he's running for political office on CNN. What's a person to think?

control		2005-04-30 06:19:59 AM

You know, if this chick had read "A Purpose Driven Life" to her kidnappers, they probably would have turned themselves in a lot sooner.

control		2005-04-30 06:25:10 AM

Scenario:

She told her fiance she's going out for a jog.

She met her other boyfriend. The sex got hot. She was too late. Couldn't come up with a story so she decided to ditch her fiance. Her other boyfriend talked her into staying the night. They wake up and she's "missing". Oh crap. Well let's go out west for a while because daddy's going to be pissed about the wedding expense too.

Samwise Gamgee		2005-04-30 06:27:42 AM

I get no respect!

nucleardonkey		2005-04-30 06:29:52 AM

Stepbrother on CNN: She's coming back to us because our god is a loving god.

I guess Jessica Lunsford's and Samantha Runnion's gods just got PWD3D. They were probably Muslims or non-Baptists at least.

SteinAuf		2005-04-30 06:31:22 AM

I smell a second Audrey Seiler

TommyymmoT		2005-04-30 06:35:01 AM

HRPuffinStuff
I never actually heard that she was in protective custody, it was meant to be a (though very poor one) joke.

If she is in jail though, the first few days, are in total isolation until they decide where you should end up in the interime.

Regardless of her actions, I'm just not in the mood to be bummed out right now, and am glad she's ok. If she needs to be vilified, I'm sure we're the ones to do it.

Uh oh, there's a big fat puppy dog in my bed. He looks pretty comfortable. I think I'll join him. 'Night all.

HRPuffinStuff		2005-04-30 06:40:57 AM

TommyymmoT: there's a big fat puppy dog in my bed.

There's two in mine. I got up and they were on it in .02 seconds. One of em is snoring.

G'nite.

Generican		2005-04-30 06:43:57 AM

I would not hit it

RockIsDead		2005-04-30 06:44:07 AM

SteinAuf: I smell a second Audrey Seiler

Ditto.

(She's got them same damn Bug eyes too.)

TommyymmoT		2005-04-30 06:48:46 AM

Goodnight, sleep tight, if you have bedbugs, that ain't right.

RockIsDead		2005-04-30 06:49:19 AM

Sweater Girl: The pic they use makes her look batshiat crazy, though.

She looks that way in every pic. Ain't just the pics.

Spazzmatazz		2005-04-30 06:50:05 AM

TommyymmoT		2005-04-30 06:55:18 AM

Generican
I just read your profile. There must be alot of women on the moon, that you can afford to turn one down.

COMING SOON TO A THEATER NEAR YOU
TOMMYYMMOT: Destination Moon.

Generican		2005-04-30 06:59:14 AM

TommyymmoT

Where are you from? SUN?

Burn Baby Burn!

luckyeddie		2005-04-30 07:02:25 AM

Mason told a TV network that he wanted to "bust into tears" when his fiancee called.

You'd have thought he'd have been happy.

Quincy8Boy		2005-04-30 07:07:50 AM

When I heard she was kidnapped and released I instantly thought of "Fargo."

lohphat		2005-04-30 07:08:46 AM

OMG another white, waify woman gets all the media attention.

Thousands, of women go missing, get killed, abused by their SOs, or suicide every year.

Who not ONE of them who's non-white gets the attention.

Journalism is dead -- it's about pandering to the demographics.

/stopped wathing TV and listening to the major "news" outlets years ago

EnormousJuan		2005-04-30 07:12:52 AM

She looks off...probably nuts. Got cold feet and went off into the country to get gangbanged by bikers. WHen they were done they dropped her off and she will never say a word untill a few years down the road. They're be married, have an argument, she'll tell him what happened and he'll break her skill with a sledgehammer.

Just my prediction.

Crown Of Negativity		2005-04-30 07:13:27 AM

Still Itchy		2005-04-30 07:17:36 AM

Well, good.

DAMN it, though, world's gone and made me cynical. A man and woman throw her in a blue van, cut her hair and drive her to New Mexico?

Let me guess...I'll bet it was a dark and stormy night, too.

I'm glad she's okay - but I finally read the story about her planned 600 guest wedding last night. Went to bed thinking that any chick who is so vain as to think 600 people need to witness your wedding ceremony is JUST a tad screwy.

RockIsDead		2005-04-30 07:21:47 AM

Still Itchy: Let me guess...I'll bet it was a dark and stormy night, too.

LOL. And the guy probably had a scar.

RockIsDead		2005-04-30 07:24:29 AM

Just admitted she RAN.

LOON.

bgrainger		2005-04-30 07:24:35 AM

Fox news reporting that she is in fact a run away bride.

bgrainger		2005-04-30 07:26:59 AM

RockIsDead: Beat me by 6 farking seconds.

groundhog		2005-04-30 07:27:52 AM

HOAX

Eben Flood		2005-04-30 07:29:17 AM

NM police say she was not abducted. She took a bus to NM!

groundhog		2005-04-30 07:29:59 AM

The news channels are just "shocked" at this development.

Eben Flood		2005-04-30 07:30:25 AM

That's what I get for not refreshing soon enough...

stigmaguitar		2005-04-30 07:30:49 AM

And I ran...
I ran so far away...

Ufia Bagota		2005-04-30 07:31:29 AM

Still Itchy:

any chick who is so vain as to think 600 people need to witness your wedding ceremony

HRPuffinStuff		2005-04-30 07:32:52 AM

LOL
LOL
LOL

What a farking dumb biatch.

Like no one saw this coming.

nucleardonkey		2005-04-30 07:33:28 AM

That farking biatch. I did not watch my buddies die face down in the mud so this . . .

RockIsDead		2005-04-30 07:35:14 AM

Mr. Clarence Butterworth		2005-04-30 07:36:21 AM

Selfish lying biatch. There's gotta be a few laws she broke pulling this stupid crap.

mrlumpy		2005-04-30 07:38:35 AM

Crazy chicks always cut their hair.

ALWAYS.

Hair that goes past shoulder length is nature's way of saying "sane and fertile". Crazy women always cut it off, dramatically, to warn the rest of us.

groundhog		2005-04-30 07:38:49 AM

FoxNews still running ticker saying she was abducted underneath graphic saying she ran off due to cold feet.

HRPuffinStuff		2005-04-30 07:40:25 AM

Two Helicopters - $2,500 per hour
Massive Police Search in Georgia - $25,000
Albuquerque police time wasted - $5,000
FBI involvement - $3,260,476

Having your face plastered all over Fark after being branded a runaway bride - Priceless

Due now.

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