FARK.com: (1465571) Missing bride Jennifer Wilbanks found alive in New Mexico

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		Missing bride Jennifer Wilbanks found alive in New Mexico (foxnews.com)		574
		More: NewsFlash

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31157 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Apr 2005 at 3:45 AM | Favorite | share:

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Cthulus_Toaster		2005-04-30 03:46:40 AM

Finally some good news for once.

Sweater Girl		2005-04-30 03:48:14 AM

CNN article.

The pic they use makes her look batshiat crazy, though.
Weird story. Glad she's alive.

CheyenneWay		2005-04-30 03:49:48 AM

that was a long jog!

/obvious

HereComesTheScience		2005-04-30 03:50:03 AM

I wonder what she was doing in New Mexico.

Ku_No_Ichi		2005-04-30 03:50:23 AM

Shame on all of you who immediately assumed the husband-to-be offed her!

Shame on me you!

HereComesTheScience		2005-04-30 03:50:41 AM

I bet it was the Drugs!

ipimpedyomomma		2005-04-30 03:51:18 AM

bachelorette party?

safeinsane		2005-04-30 03:51:38 AM

/hangs head in shame for knowing that

gameshowhost		2005-04-30 03:51:39 AM

/now available for comment

AccuJack		2005-04-30 03:52:06 AM

I'm gonna be the first to call shenanigans.

Abducted by two guys who got scared seeing her on the media and turned her loose in new mexico?

I'm placing my bet on her getting cold feet in a big way and taking off, then seeing the news stories and looking for a way to explain it.

AJ

ipimpedyomomma		2005-04-30 03:52:19 AM

woops
-gone wrong:)

Sweater Girl		2005-04-30 03:52:21 AM

From the CNN article:
Wilbanks, 32, told her family she was released by two strangers who abducted her Tuesday night before driving to the southwestern U.S., according to Pastor Alan Jones, who was supposed to preside at her wedding Saturday in Duluth, Georgia

From the Fox article:
the wedding was to feature 14 bridesmaids and 14 groomsmen,

14 each? Wow. I would have run like hell too.
(half kidding, just glad the story ends with her being safe)

pabelanger		2005-04-30 03:52:24 AM

Six hundred invitations had been mailed, and the wedding was to feature 14 bridesmaids and 14 groomsmen.

Hmm... anybody else think Runaway Bride?

Errk		2005-04-30 03:52:30 AM

She said she was abducted and then released in New Mexico.

Talonpest		2005-04-30 03:52:34 AM

Her abductors were described as "Some Puerto Rican guys."

monty666		2005-04-30 03:53:20 AM

I just borrowed her for a few days. Sorry about that.

Quick1		2005-04-30 03:54:16 AM

Good lord, could her eyes be any bigger?

/cue fark photoshoppers

Nichole		2005-04-30 03:54:44 AM

I still say she was just whoring herself off on the streets of mexico to pay for her heroine habit that makes her look so batshiat crazy. Oh, and to get that great tanned look.

"Oh crap, I'm on CNN... I WAS KIDNAPPED!!ONEONE"

Cakeboy		2005-04-30 03:55:33 AM

And they were speaking a weird language....I'm pretty sure it was...Asian!!

/Cable Goo-Gah!

cot		2005-04-30 03:55:49 AM

I'll reuse my dumb joke

She was going for the Guinness world record for coldest feet.

(I am hopping on the "ran off and then came up with this lame excuse due to all the media coverage" bandwagon)

fatlilbug		2005-04-30 03:55:50 AM

Talonpest: Her abductors were described as "Some Puerto Rican guys."

andrea yates*cough* what? I didn't say anything

tawana brawley*cough* I have a cold! that's all

Sweater Girl		2005-04-30 03:56:36 AM

Wasn't there a story a couple of years ago about a girl who faked her own kidnapping?
Too tired to google it.
Anyway, since this is obviously no longer "Scott and Laci ptII" I wonder if she's going to have to justify her kidnapping.

If it really happened that would suck to have to explain why you're still alive and not the CBS movie of the week.

Nanoda		2005-04-30 03:56:46 AM

AccuJack

Second?

gameshowhost		2005-04-30 03:57:08 AM

Quick1: /cue fark photoshoppers

Given my current state of sheer boredom coupled with insomnia... perhaps I can do something... yes...

Big Dave		2005-04-30 03:57:20 AM

Can't believe the husband didn't kill her...

bet she got some friends to get her out of the wedding, then had 2nd (3rd?) thoughts

cot		2005-04-30 03:57:22 AM

gameshowhost: now available for comment

With her and Julia "horseface" Roberts in the thread, things have already turned ugly.

Rollo Tomasi		2005-04-30 03:57:23 AM

Does anybody know if fiance was suspected of foul play? I hope people weren't assuming he was another Scott Pederson or something.

cke-gt		2005-04-30 03:58:44 AM

Yeah, everybody was busy looking for some black dude that jacked Susan Smith's car too. Why isn't anybody on any of these news stations at least mentioning that it all could be bullshiat? Sorry if I'm wrong, but damn it seems like such a load.

Sweater Girl		2005-04-30 03:58:51 AM

He took a couple of lie detector tests Rollo

ipimpedyomomma		2005-04-30 03:58:55 AM

Black men everywhere rejoice. point and laugh at Puerto Ricans.

/I'm black:p

Mitch Mitchell		2005-04-30 03:59:29 AM

"Don't shoot 'till you see the white of her eyes"

teabag bandit		2005-04-30 03:59:31 AM

The husband paid to kill her, it was the kidnappers who got cold feet.

soze		2005-04-30 03:59:42 AM

Over thirty people in the wedding party, and six hundred invites that went out? She wasn't running away from marriage, she was running away from the bill for that!

monty666		2005-04-30 04:00:26 AM

She's quite the looker.

Zipster		2005-04-30 04:00:29 AM

Wanted for questioning.

/shamelessly stolen from an earlier thread

cot		2005-04-30 04:00:56 AM

There are so many law enforcement people aware of this case that there's no way they won't be on top of it. Odds are good that we'll hear she's suspected of being full of it within the next week.

Her and the wendy's chili finger lady can be bunkmates.

Ender's		2005-04-30 04:01:18 AM

Bleh, it's only news cause she isn't ugly.

Sweater Girl		2005-04-30 04:01:30 AM

but damn it seems like such a load.

See, that's just it. We're all so cynical that the fact that she's alive after being abducted by 2 men and driven to New Mexico makes us stop and wonder if we're being played.

I'm wondering the same thing.
If it really happened and she managed to talk her way out of it and keep herself alive then..wow.

If it didn't I don't think we'd (collectively) be too shocked.

vanburen		2005-04-30 04:02:17 AM

AccuJack: I'm gonna be the first to call shenanigans.

I'm with AccuJack on this one. In a week we'll see her in handcuffs for reporting a fraudulent abduction story to police.

She does look batshiat crazy too.

ipimpedyomomma		2005-04-30 04:02:36 AM

no, it's only news cause she's white

cot		2005-04-30 04:03:07 AM

After looking at that picture again, I have to ask the republicans here a question:

You're against gay marriage yet you'll let THAT get married? Jesus. I wonder how many hungover hicks have gotten the fright of their lives waking up to that mug.

cke-gt		2005-04-30 04:03:17 AM

And that Elizabeth Smart still has a lot of explaining to do too. Brainwashed my ass.

mad_carder		2005-04-30 04:03:44 AM

It might be interesting to see what kind of Runaway Bride stories we can find... A few i have found searching are really funny.

GuardianJDK		2005-04-30 04:04:27 AM

Wonder if she came back with herpes. Oh wait, they released her in NEW Mexico. I thought it said Ron Mexico.

ipimpedyomomma		2005-04-30 04:04:29 AM

she didn't report herself missing

Big Dave		2005-04-30 04:05:15 AM

You guys hear on CNN when the police woman totaly outted the possible rape? Now all the newscasters are reporting it.

So 1 true (sexual assault confirms, some farked up couple!), or 2 still a lie, and she has a boyfriend she ran away with...

hmmm

const		2005-04-30 04:05:35 AM

hahahaha
That's funny.
Nice to know there is nothing to worry about.
Whew!!!!!
And to think, I've been up past my bed time for once.
Well, lately anyway.
I would also have to comment on how crazy she looks.
What was he thinking, then again, they are from Georgia.

cot		2005-04-30 04:05:54 AM

ipimpedyomomma: she didn't report herself missing

I'm not up enough on the story to know the details, but I would guess that running off like that knowing everyone would search for her could potentially be used to bring some sort of charges against her for knowingly wasting police resources.

xtremdav45		2005-04-30 04:06:10 AM

Hold on, there is a New Mexico?

PigCharmer		2005-04-30 04:06:46 AM

Zipster - Glad to see someone appreciated it :)

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