They used to be all over the place where my band practised at in South Jersey. Had to watch where you parked your car cuz they would be up in the trees.

Great headline, Big Guy.

Possibly one of my favorite television moments of all time.

*golf clap* to submitter

"I went hunting with my dad once and we didn't see a turkey all week long, the only wild turkey we saw was liquid wild turkey..."

golf clap

i'd pick mary ann over ginger,
but jennifer over bailey...
wouldn't cheat on mary ann for jennifer

/just sayin'

That headline made me laugh out loud. At work. You owe me a new job, chief.

GaryPDX: Wild turkeys are very agressive..territorial.

I had one hanging out around my car in the morning a couple weeks ago. Then when I went to pull out, the farking thing went behind my car, so I did like a 10 pt turn to get out of my drive cuz I couldn't see where he was and the farking thing was just lying there.

Two related issues...

1. My boss who works in a cubicle just like mine has an invisible threshold that we are not to cross without knocking on the bookcase next to the door. On his birthday, I made him a door out of a paper tablecloth. He kept it up for a week! (When we're joking around I'll sometimes call him Les just to piss him off.)

2. Many years ago - before anyone in my family had cell phones, my mom was getting out of her car in the parking lot at work. A wild turkey came running around the front and slammed into her door, knocking her back into the car and (fortunately) closing the door. Three more came out of the shrubs and they basically paced around the car waiting for her to get out.
Two hours later her boss called the house looking for her. We panicked because we thought she was there. He went out to the parking lot - intending to get in his car and go looking for her - when he saw what was going on, he got in his car and drove up next to her honking the horn to scare them away.

joeycolby:

My boss who works in a cubicle just like mine has an invisible threshold that we are not to cross without knocking on the bookcase next to the door.

People like that are usually sensitive because they spend all day looking at pr0n. One day, when he's completely engrossed in his work, run into his office and stand behind him as quick as you can. Dollars to donuts I'll bet you he turns a shade of white and starts clicking furiously before turning a shade of red and exploding on your ass.

joeycolby: he got in his car and drove up next to her honking the horn to scare them away.

I'm assuming her horn was broken?

/done double posting.

Excellent headline.

gobble.

this should be the only wild turkey

turkeys need to come terrorize me. I live in east alabama tho, and for obvious reasons, they tend to shy away from humans. Turkey Buzzrads on the other hand (gigantic vulture type birds) tells us to fark off all the time as they eat the dead armadillos on the road. Those are much more fun to shoot anyways.

"..wild turkeys couldn't drag me away.."

DrForrester beat me to it. Those turkeys were mean sons o biatches.

Addicted to Kenny Rogers "Roasters"

... whadaya mean, they're not chickens.

Little MFs carry turkey mites; trust me on this, you do not want to get one or more turkey mite bites.

Went scratching around for morel mushrooms a few weeks back, still scratching.

Newman, you wouldn't eat bacon if it was deep fried in chocolate!

/vile weed.

aggressive gobblers surrounded his truck

Oh, Paris and Nicole were in town, right?

Officials say adult wild turkeys can grow as tall as four feet and can fly as fast as 55 miles per hour.


That's pretty fast for a bag of wet cement.

I'd crap myself if I ever saw a 4 foot tall turkey.

"In one instance, a letter carrier killed a bird with a stick after a group of the aggressive gobblers surrounded his truck and wouldn't let him out."

Imagine what he'd do with a gun?

That Article was WAY too long.

DAMN YOU you delicious TURKEYS!

"...it was like they mounted...a counter-attack."

At a local golf course near a wooded area that is off limits to hunters we have a flock (band) of wild turkeys. The fairways next to their nesting area are narrow and sometimes a wild shot into the trees will bring the gobblers out. I've even had to shoo them off the greens a time or two. I've never seen one get aggresive but the toms were never with the flock and only the hens were out and about.

The Thanksgiving story on WKRP is still one of the two funniest shows on TV ever. The other one was "Gone With The Wind" on Carol Burnett. I worked in broadcast radio and knew at least one of everyone of the characters. Even a Jennifer at one station. Whoo hoo!

[B]"Wild turkeys, some as large as four feet tall..."[/B]

Wild turkeys are not anywhere near four feet tall. Wild emus, perhaps.

Ok these turkes are not a problem. How can free, tastey food be a problem? Anyone ever play games as kids like kick the can or soccer or football? Golf? Replace turkey with ball/can and enjoy. I mean really if nature is willing to get fresh with me via a delicious dinner then I'm obliged to take her up on it and have me some food.

In later news Nature Delivers.

diggin' the headline...

The WKRP thanksgiving episode was classic. I was just a little runt when it first aired but I remember it clearly cause Dad nearly ruptured some vital organs laughing so hard during the "As God as my witness I thought Turkeys could fly" scene. Ah good times

I'm willing to bet a wild turkey isn't going to be flying at 55MPH either...

I have several turkeys that like to kick it in my backyard early in the A.M. sometimes...I also have a 75 pound dog that won't go near 'em. Those things are scary.

Hmmmmmm. Maybe those turkeys I've been seeing at work the last few mornings are up to something.

i saw a wild turkey the other day(northern NJ). I never was concerned with being attacked...turkey appeared to be happy!

I had one hanging out around my car in the morning a couple weeks ago. Then when I went to pull out, the farking thing went behind my car, so I did like a 10 pt turn to get out of my drive cuz I couldn't see where he was and the farking thing was just lying there.

Run the farking thing over. And 4 feet tall my ass. Who writes this shiat?

I'm willing to bet a wild turkey isn't going to be flying at 55MPH either...

The onliest time a wyld tirkie will be flying 55 mph or 95km/h is after it bounces off the windshield of my car.
Or sumbuddy elses. (Somewhat annoyed at silliness tonight. Probly because I was forced to watch Meet the Fockers tonight)

(Takes a bow)

I've been waiting for 3 years to get another story approved.

All thanks to my mom's insane and occasionally frightening love of WKRP in Cincinatti.

When I worked in radio, everything Thanksgiving, I'd have our host start the 7am hour with "The Big Guy" uttering his immortal line.

Officials say adult wild turkeys can grow as tall as four feet and can fly as fast as 55 miles per hour.

Someone's been into the whiskey 'cause there is no way in hell a wild tukey is first, four feet tall, and second, can fly faster than my volkswagen beetle. What the hell sorta birds are they? Savage condor turkeys with ten foot wing spans?

I once saw a mother turkey and her six little babies in New York state. The babbies were absolutely adorable. Wouldn't have wanted to come across a male, though. I got attacked by a swan once, and that was enough, believe me!

/swans are big. big and scary.
/congrats BaltoRadioGod

Although most of the credits to the opening theme for WKRP list Steve Carlisle as the vocalist, I'm not sure if that refers to the released for radio version, or the one that actually played on the show....the vocalist on the show clip sounds suspiciously like Richard Sanders (Les Nessman).

WKRP TV Show Opening Theme

/still hot for Jan SMithers(Bailey Quarters)