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(Fox News) NewsFlash Ratzinger officially becomes the first former cast member of "Cheers" to be elected pope. Named changed from Cliff to Benedict XVI   (foxnews.com ) divider line
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27338 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Apr 2005 at 12:45 PM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»


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2005-04-19 01:41:03 PM  
Ratzinger? I thought they said Ratner.

[image from exile.ru too old to be available]
 
2005-04-19 01:41:16 PM  
daz
I don't recall seeing anywhere where Christ sent out the women during Pentacost

Perhaps you meant the Holy Spirit, not Christ, since the Pentecost (two Es) happened after the Ascension. Well I don't recall him/it/they sending out any bachelors at the pentecost either. All those Apostles were married men. Get it?

Cake Hunter
Now guess how many fingers I've got in this jar.

This can eaily be derived from the limmerick. Note that he chose Benedict XVI -- b 16. Now convert "Ratzinger Stinkfinger" into the ASCII base 16 values. Add them up and divide by another number until you get the right answer.
 
2005-04-19 01:41:42 PM  
scootah
Schezar -

Your Boobies

"Ratzinger was a member of the Hitler Youth. I'm not kidding.
"


Moreso, in his "non-trolling" post, he bolded the hitler youth membership, and not the other parts.
 
2005-04-19 01:41:54 PM  
78 y/o?! man they gonna need to pick a new pope in about 15 minutes when this guy dies
 
2005-04-19 01:42:13 PM  
Githerax

Any fool with half a brain can read the Scriptures and see how obviously Catholicism violates Christian principles. I just wish they'd stop claiming to be Christian. Givin' us a bad name.

And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?

Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.
 
2005-04-19 01:42:17 PM  
Ah yes...The rantings of Edward Conner.

Thanks for making me laugh after lunch, pdieten!
 
2005-04-19 01:42:19 PM  
schezar

How is it a troll to state a fact?

Anyone who can't handle hearing or reading a fact has problems.


See in this thing we call the english language, we have a thing called implication. When a fact is presented in a misleading manner, without context or clarification with the intent to mislead, we call that a troll. Anyone who can't recognise that your implication was a clear troll, is a farking idiot.
 
2005-04-19 01:42:29 PM  
Ladies and gentlemen, Ratzinger:

[image from gothic-family.net too old to be available]

Your new pope?
 
2005-04-19 01:42:30 PM  
There was nowheres else to get this story, but from FOX news?!
 
2005-04-19 01:42:38 PM  
Pope Hitler I

The church is farked.
 
2005-04-19 01:43:01 PM  
Congratulations to the practicing Catholics who finally have their new spiritual leader.

Personally, it does nothing for me. I gave up on Catholicism long ago, after being beated down by it for the first 20 years of my life. My opinions on the matter are of no concern though.

However, I know the Catholic community is overjoyed to have their new leader. Let's hope, for your sake and ours, he's a good one.

Lastly, for those who only read the bottoms of the threads instead of the whole thing, the following jokes have already been done:

Pope Cliff Clavin
Pope Hitler
Nazism
Child molestation
Benedict XVI's resemblance to Robert Blake
Benedict XVI's resemblance to Emperor Palapitine
St. Malachy's predictions
The Spanish Inquisition (Real life and Monty Python)
and
Germans overtaking the Poles

The following jokes are still fair game:

Space pope/Futurama
Benedict XVI's resemblance to Hannibal Lechter
Pope-on-a-Rope or some variation thereof
Pratchett & Gaiman's "Good Omens"

and
"A priest, a rabbi, and a shiite cleric walk into a bar..." jokes
 
2005-04-19 01:43:02 PM  
I was listening to a piece on NPR about this guy the other day. Sounds like he's a very supple thinker, who is tenacious in defending his views, and justifying them. And like most folks have said, he's a caretaker Pope.

Interestingly, they said that he had acknowledged that the church's conservative stance was alienating its followers in America and in Europe. He forsaw that in the immediate future, the Church would decline in most of the developed world, and become a smaller minority in society. It was actually kinda a bleak picture of the Church's future to paint, but he was willing to follow his ideas to their logical conclusion.

So he's a conservative, but not a hypocrite.
 
2005-04-19 01:43:14 PM  
I wish I could draw faster. Working on a picture of the new Pope Rat Finker
 
2005-04-19 01:43:31 PM  
Any word on antimatter?
 
2005-04-19 01:43:36 PM  
St. Malachy Conspiracy Nuts:

That is indeed a bit unnerving at first glance, but keep in mind it's a self-fulfilling prophecy because the Catholics KNOW of it's existence, and are attempting to adhere to it's every word. Why else would they pick such an old fart? It's not as if it was buried in the basement along with the Vatican's secret archive of dildos, unseen for hundreds of years. They're trying to construct the Papacy to mirror it in order to lull non-believers (in the Church) into submission, and/or further their own delusions about having Jesus come back and rescue them from the evil Romans. Oh, wait...

I just wonder what will happen to the Church when the world doesn't end, as it has been "prophecized" to millions of times for thousands of years.
 
2005-04-19 01:43:45 PM  
78 ! Damn I guess the last pope will be comming up pretty soon then pfft its all over. I was hopeing for a 20 year old so I could at least plan ahead a few years.
 
2005-04-19 01:44:18 PM  
scootah:

See in this thing we call the english language, we have a thing called implication. When a fact is presented in a misleading manner, without context or clarification with the intent to mislead, we call that a troll. Anyone who can't recognise that your implication was a clear troll, is a farking idiot.


Intent? You're just guessing at my intent.

How was the fact presented in a misleading manner? It was merely presented.

I can't say "the sky is blue" without clarifying that the sky is not indeed sad, and that blue is a colour?

/might want to clean the sand out of your vagina
 
2005-04-19 01:44:21 PM  
Any word on whether or not he enjoys olives?
 
2005-04-19 01:44:59 PM  
Fr._Peter_Fitznuggly

Nope. I had seventeen fingers in the jar.

Seventeen fingers. Sorry.
 
2005-04-19 01:45:02 PM  
I was kind of bummed when they introduced the pope to the music of "Eye of the Tiger", just goes to show how out of touch he is. Something more modern like "Seven Nation Army" or "Rusty Cage" by Soundgargen would have shown he is a man of the people, even Bad to the Bone, although cliche, would have been acceptable..But Eye of the Tiger, Gimme a break!!
 
2005-04-19 01:45:24 PM  
Wow, this thread was destined to be Godwin'd from the getgo. We need a Dutch pope next.
 
2005-04-19 01:45:30 PM  
the church has a joke about how over the top, and strick ratzinger is about the religion...

razinger and two theologians die and go two heaven. one by one the go in and meet with god. the first theologion in, and comes out crying, "how could i have been so wrong about everything?!?!" then the second theologian goes in, and comes out crying too, "how could i have been so wrong about everything?!?!". then ratzinger goes in, they're in there for a while, then god comes out crying, "how could i have been so wrong about everything?!?!"

//buddhist
 
2005-04-19 01:45:39 PM  
Feelings are Ratzinger was elected as a transitional pope. Someone to allow everyone to take a deep breath before getting another reformer as pope. At 78 he won't be around all that long, and being that he was just a step down from pope already makes an easy choice. Figure if it isn't more than 3 or so years the next pope is one of the young favorites from this time, especially one of the Latin American cardinals, in particular Cardinal Maradiaga. Who speaks 8 languages, can work a room or TV camera like no one's business, is funny, vibrant, has a pilot's license and all sorts of modern day goodness.
 
2005-04-19 01:46:13 PM  
schezar

Bullshiat and try and spin it every way you want, you were a farkwit and you got called on it. You know it, I know it, and everybody with an IQ higher then the fungus growing out of your ears knows it. fark off.
 
2005-04-19 01:46:18 PM  
Let me be the latest to reserve my room in hell:

Just saw my priest regarding the new Pope.

Now, I've Been-a-Dicked!

For the 16th time. On my 16th birthday.

Ouch.
 
2005-04-19 01:46:42 PM  
If the cardinals' votes influenced by God manifesting his will, why bother voting in the first place? Surely God would have a much easier time influencing random-type processes? I think Popes should be chosen by a round of spin-the-bottle.
 
2005-04-19 01:46:51 PM  
Another fun fact - Ratzinger didn't desert the German Army until May 1945 (source: Fox News, citing his biography.) Seeing as how Hitler committed suicide in April '45 after the fall of Berlin, it's not exactly as though Ratzinger was risking life and limb by deserting the German Army - by May 1945, *most* of the non-SS divisions had pretty much given up and were surrendering en masse.

Impressive is standing up against the Nazis from Day One (as did JP the G), not doing time with the Hitler Youth to be excused for seminary, then doing another *two* *years* in the Wehrmacht before punching out with everybody else.

So talk amongst yourselves....
 
2005-04-19 01:47:22 PM  
Shouldnt y'all be working, or doing something... I am sure there is something you'd rather be doing right now... go mow your lawn, or call your mother. There is really nothing to see here...
 
2005-04-19 01:47:23 PM  
[image from server2.uploadit.org too old to be available]
 
2005-04-19 01:47:31 PM  
His stance on gay marriages is that it's pretty gay.
 
2005-04-19 01:47:31 PM  
When John Paul, at last, kicked the bucket
The Cardinals all said, "Aw, fark it --
The next pope will be
Into orthodoxy
And all those babies dying of AIDS in Africa can suck it!"

/got nothin'
 
2005-04-19 01:47:39 PM  
daz

It's funny to watch people try to put American/Human concepts of "fairness" and "rights" on an eternal institution like faith.

Heh, yeah. This guy's predecessor was a riot.


Some things as an outsider I notice:

1. The guy, while being part of the Nazi... armed forces, is still German. If the Church really wanted regression, I think they'd have chosen an Italian candidate.

2. It's still a bit disappointing. The money told us there'd be more consideration for a Latin American candidate than anything else.

3. All the Catholics complaining about people making fun of their religion and their leader...

Hahahahahahaha. Now you understand what being a Mormon is like.
 
2005-04-19 01:47:50 PM  
Holy Christ do I want some Eggs Benny right now..Sooo hungry!!!
 
2005-04-19 01:47:59 PM  
[image from img.photobucket.com too old to be available]
 
2005-04-19 01:48:07 PM  
[image from img.fark.com too old to be available] Days of Our Lives will be shown in its entirety at 3pm.
 
2005-04-19 01:48:16 PM  
[image from unzeit.de too old to be available]
 
2005-04-19 01:48:18 PM  
scootah:

Bullshiat and try and spin it every way you want, you were a farkwit and you got called on it.

I called the pope a Hitler Youth. The pope was a Hitler Youth.

Denying the truth will only cause you problems later in life.
 
2005-04-19 01:48:40 PM  
Bostony: THANK GOD!
 
2005-04-19 01:48:50 PM  
Jesus 2.0; even Satan can quote scripture.
 
2005-04-19 01:48:51 PM  
[image from img256.echo.cx too old to be available]

All hail Pope Clavin I!

/quick
//dirty
///I suck at thinking
 
2005-04-19 01:48:55 PM  
Gromit: here he is:

Kinda reminds me of Andy Rooney in that shot.
/less scared.
//especially after reading about that desertion thing.
 
2005-04-19 01:49:04 PM  
KnumbKnuts [TotalFark]

Man,

Fark is full of bigots, haters, and just generally mean people.


Like I posted yesterday...In Fark threads -- you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villany.
 
2005-04-19 01:49:10 PM  
Let the child molesting recommence!!
 
2005-04-19 01:49:12 PM  
Ferruz:

Great, another holier-than-thou pompous ass in a ridiculous uniform bringing up useless facts from ages passed know-it-all who thinks he's the son of god and can tell you how to live your life.

They elected Leon Kass as pope?
 
2005-04-19 01:49:14 PM  
Wasn't this headline a joke on Conan last week?
 
2005-04-19 01:49:27 PM  
my side is hurting. this is so funny..
 
2005-04-19 01:49:28 PM  
Ok, ex-catholic here a question for practicing catholics:

Not only did Bene 16 not refuse to join the Hitler Youth, he worked in an anti-aircraft unit. Most likley, he was responsible for someone's death.

How do you feel about a pope who not only passed up an oppurtunity for martyrdom, but quite possibly had commited a mortal sin?

/A sin, such as murder or blasphemy, that is so heinous it deprives the soul of sanctifying grace and causes damnation if unpardoned at the time of death.
 
2005-04-19 01:49:43 PM  
Vorticity the Monkey:

Another fun fact - Ratzinger didn't desert the German Army until May 1945 (source: Fox News, citing his biography.) Seeing as how Hitler committed suicide in April '45 after the fall of Berlin, it's not exactly as though Ratzinger was risking life and limb by deserting the German Army - by May 1945, *most* of the non-SS divisions had pretty much given up and were surrendering en masse.

Heh. Nazi pope ^_^
 
2005-04-19 01:49:48 PM  
Did anyone else catch what Henderson_11 wrote towards the beginning of the thread?? That we only have 2 more popes before the end of the world? Where does that come from? ...can somebody please tell me what that's all about???
 
2005-04-19 01:50:24 PM  
2005-04-19 01:40:14 PM Ditto


I wonder what his stance on gay marriage is.



From what they're saying, his stance will be right on the neck of it. The more things change, the more they stay the same.
 
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