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(The State.com)   Two Disney on Ice Monsters, Inc. skaters hire woman from escort service. Woman says she doesn't do monsters. Hilarity ensues   (thestate.com) divider line 72
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31036 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Apr 2005 at 12:01 AM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2005-04-09 01:54:47 PM
that sucks.

your job is skating around in a giant fur and foam costume traveling on the road all year.

you get horny and hire a prostitute for $400

she shows up, then leaves without even getting naked, saying that the money was just for her to talk to you.

you go to jail and lose your job.
 
2005-04-09 06:14:25 PM
Whoa.

Those guys are straight?

Who knew?
 
2005-04-09 06:25:23 PM
The woman told police she only provided companionship.

 
2005-04-09 06:25:51 PM
Those guys are straight?

Maybe they just wanted her to get naked and watch while they did each other.

So, this is the scam of escort services? If the woman shows up and decides the john is undoable, she just says "oh, I'm only here for conversation"? They should have printed the name of her company as a service to the local johning community.
 
2005-04-10 12:04:53 AM
Companionship ... for $400?

Yeah, right.
 
2005-04-10 12:05:00 AM
More importantly: Is your chimney leaning?
 
2005-04-10 12:05:49 AM
Wish I'dve known they were in town. Im here in Columbia this weekend and my daughter has loved the last 2 shows.

And yes I'm also suprised to discover that at least some of the guys involved in these shows are straight.
 
2005-04-10 12:06:36 AM
Bad_CRC - They might be married too! I'm sure this would go over well with the Mrs.
 
2005-04-10 12:09:33 AM
Monsters on ice and a hooker? Sounds like good ol' fashioned clean Disney antics at thier best! Was the hooker's name Lindsey?
 
2005-04-10 12:16:00 AM
I saw this show 2 months ago in Phoenix. As you might expect, adapting a movie about CGI effects to Stars on Ice rejects in fur suits = suck.
 
2005-04-10 12:22:45 AM
How does the green monster with the skinny legs take a poop? He has no hole! I've paused that DVD and looked very closely.
 
2005-04-10 12:22:48 AM
The Nookie Monster.
 
2005-04-10 12:26:38 AM
DAMN....And I wanted to see some BOOBIES
 
2005-04-10 12:27:09 AM
most complicated headline. ever.
 
2005-04-10 12:31:54 AM
THATS $400 GONE...WASTED...KAPOOT
 
2005-04-10 12:34:38 AM
PSlack

yeah, that's the one!
 
2005-04-10 12:41:55 AM
I've dealt with the 'cast' for the Disney ice show Beuty and the Beast. Nothing but drunks that did nothing but fark on their 'off' time. Misfits, but if my 'professional skating life' consisted of wearing a costume and skating to crappy music, I'd be drunk most of the time also.
 
2005-04-10 12:42:53 AM
Admiral Ackbar's Kunt Smells Like Fish

Nothing.

I just wanted to use "Admiral Ackbar's Kunt Smells Like Fish" in a post.

Great name!
 
2005-04-10 12:44:09 AM
So, the two of them grabbed her... and did not manage to rape her...? (cause that's how it's done in the movies)

Now that's G.A.Y.

Way to make your families proud !
 
2005-04-10 12:44:38 AM
Escorts only say that they "provide only companionship" to reduce the attention of law enforcement. In fact, they really are all whores, all of them. Well, all of them, except for about 1% which are rip-off artists. To prevent getting ripped off, it might make sense to check the reviews first, such as http://www.theeroticreview.com/ .
 
2005-04-10 12:46:13 AM
Admiral Ackbar's Kunt Smells Like Fish:

How does the green monster with the skinny legs take a poop? He has no hole!



Explains the picture a little better, dunnit?
 
2005-04-10 12:59:10 AM
Escorts only say that they "provide only companionship" to reduce the attention of law enforcement. In fact, they really are all whores, all of them. Well, all of them, except for about 1% which are rip-off artists. To prevent getting ripped off, it might make sense to check the reviews first, such as http://www.theeroticreview.com/ .

Excellent Advice. A few guys from work have used an escort service in Portland. Some report "happy endings" some do not.

Incidentally, the two who said they asked for a happy ending and were turned down, were not attractive men, and neither were there personalties. They also ended up paying less.

Same company. You be the judge.
 
2005-04-10 01:02:51 AM
PSA: need companionship? get a bunny killer.
 
2005-04-10 01:09:21 AM
$400 for companionship? Hell, my imaginary friend keeps me entertained for FREE.
 
2005-04-10 01:11:27 AM
digitalstrange
Wish I'dve known they were in town. was an odd way to start your post. I thought you had a costumed-skater fantasy or something.
 
2005-04-10 01:11:31 AM
Kenneth Feld takes it in the nuts again.
 
2005-04-10 01:28:49 AM
Paying for a prostitute, and she doesn't even fark you, ouch. Gotta be sad when you can't even pay for it. Kind of reminds me of Marv from Sin City, though I doubt the two idiots in the article will be going on a rampage anytime soon.
 
2005-04-10 01:33:05 AM
Was it her?

 
2005-04-10 01:42:18 AM
Guess they didn't research her first at http://www.theeroticreview.com

/so i heard, and stuff.
 
2005-04-10 01:43:57 AM
The Disney on Ice production of Monsters Inc. runs through Sunday.

Was that last part really necessary?
 
2005-04-10 01:44:23 AM
Don't these morons realize that with $400 they could go to any bar and flash the cash and get a couple of tricks to go home with them? Plus they would be better looking...
And believe me I used to go to school with a guy who got "escorts" and they didn't look anything like the pictures in the ads.
 
2005-04-10 01:55:36 AM
ice show folk. nomads, you know. smell like cabbage. small hands.
 
2005-04-10 02:08:34 AM
Ol' One Eye doesn't get to go to the optometrist tonight...
 
2005-04-10 02:23:46 AM
Heh, when I worked at Disney, we had "token straight people" in the Character Dept. About 10%.
 
2005-04-10 02:30:41 AM
azpenguin

Ol' One Eye?
 
2005-04-10 02:42:40 AM
Admiral Ackbar's Kunt Smells Like Fish

How does the green monster with the skinny legs take a poop? He has no hole!

Maybe he does the Eric Cartman "poop-from-your-mouth"-method?

/Problem: That still involves shoving food up the ol' out door.
 
2005-04-10 02:43:33 AM


 
2005-04-10 02:46:33 AM
BearToy



(over here on the left side, where it's safe ...)
 
2005-04-10 02:51:18 AM

Fark Me To Tears

I can't.
I've heard such horrible things about the left.


 
2005-04-10 03:02:46 AM
Do you suppose it's POSSIBLE that maybe this really was a legal, legitimate escort service that really IS just "rent-a-date"?
 
2005-04-10 03:08:31 AM
$400 for advertising in the newspaper? Wow, not bad.
 
2005-04-10 03:12:24 AM
BearToy

Fark Me To Tears


not
this
shiat
again
?

 
2005-04-10 03:13:06 AM
Wow,
We used to say "He couldn't get laid in a Whorehouse with a fistful of twenties"
IT's a sad day when someone proves it.

Best line from saving Silverman-
"$50 and for yourfriend (Jack Black), $200."
 
2005-04-10 03:27:11 AM
If there is any joy in this world, the Monsters Inc on Ice show is an ice production of Put that thing back where it came from, or so help me . . .
 
2005-04-10 03:38:55 AM
It should be illegal to charge 400 dollars as an escort and not sleep with the guy. Nuf' said. Case closed.

Hang Her! She framed the poor skaters. The biggest victims are the kids.
 
2005-04-10 03:40:33 AM
MasterShakezula: Hang Her!

Only if she weighs more than a duck.
 
2005-04-10 04:06:14 AM
Confusion erupted when the men thought the woman was supposed to disrobe, according to the report. The woman told police she only provided companionship...


Well, I guess I could believe that. I mean, there ARE legitimate escort services out there right? They don't all send hookers to your room, sometimes it's just a real escort.

The men told police they paid her $400.


WHOA WHOA WHOA, OK, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, I think that will do it, thanks anyway.

I don't care if the woman can intelligently discuss Belgian beer brewing history, ancient Roman culture, and modern constitutional law- for $400 I expect to get my monkey wet.
 
2005-04-10 04:53:35 AM
The woman is mulling over whether to press charges against the men, the report said.

mulling... with a calculator, and her credit card bills.
 
2005-04-10 05:03:06 AM
am I the only one who was hopeing "The State.com" was the old MTV show? Ah man
 
2005-04-10 05:13:01 AM
Instead, they should have called this HOT BABE (with pop-a-roni)
 
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