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(Stuff.co.nz)   Cell phones "rife" in prisons as inmates attempt to order pizza to go with their tossed salads   (stuff.co.nz) divider line 57
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11472 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Apr 2005 at 1:04 AM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2005-04-03 11:49:01 PM
"or even hidden internally by inmates to avoid detection."

Man, the early 90's must have really sucked.
 
2005-04-04 12:05:38 AM
I thought about getting arrested to get away from cellphones. Now that I know that the same problem is there also, I've changed my mind.
 
2005-04-04 12:11:28 AM
I hope this sets a precedent for legalizing cell phone jammers.
 
2005-04-04 01:08:54 AM
Wouldn't pretty much any phone installed in a prisoner's room be a "cell phone?"

/Wokka wokka wokka!
 
2005-04-04 01:09:07 AM
Nice headline
Good job submitter

 
2005-04-04 01:10:56 AM
absolutely tasteless headline, submitter. that being said, *golf clap*.
 
2005-04-04 01:16:07 AM
So they have salad in prison now? What kind of dressing does it come with?
 
2005-04-04 01:19:47 AM
lol pshaw
 
2005-04-04 01:22:09 AM
Wait, wait...

Davies' comments followed complaints by a woman who received suggestive texts and indecent photographs sent to her by convicted double murderer Scott Watson, serving a life sentence in Christchurch Prison for the murders of Ben Smart and Olivia Hope.

vs.

Watson is serving at least 17 years for the murders of Smart and Hope, who disappeared in the Marlborough Sounds on New Year's Day, 1998. Their bodies have never been found.

So, which one is it...?
 
2005-04-04 01:22:10 AM
ahhhh, the anus. nature's storage pouch
 
2005-04-04 01:22:38 AM
wasn't there an episode of "oz" about this?
 
2005-04-04 01:27:01 AM
InflatableJesus: So they have salad in prison now? What kind of dressing does it come with?


Yoghurt w/ Raisins Ranch.
 
2005-04-04 01:28:01 AM
I'd hate to think my favorite American Idol got the boot because some con on Death Row texted the word *vote* in favor of some pretty boy. I'm just sayin...
 
2005-04-04 01:28:47 AM
mushiman

In New Zealand a "life" sentence for cases involving at least one serious aggravating factor is a non-parole period of at least 17 years.
 
2005-04-04 01:29:03 AM
Man...I bet having the ole cell on vibrate was an interesting experience.
 
2005-04-04 01:31:10 AM
Dude.. I think your arse is ringing...
 
2005-04-04 01:33:21 AM
Shhhh... Don't yell for the guards... I'm just trying to download a new ringtone for you.
 
2005-04-04 01:35:12 AM
mizike

Thanks for the laugh, made me think of the sketch from Pulp Fiction about the watch
 
2005-04-04 01:44:54 AM
InflatableJesus

So they have salad in prison now? What kind of dressing does it come with?


Creamy.
 
2005-04-04 01:46:58 AM
I seriously doubt there's a lot of analingus in prison. That would imply trying to pleasure the victim of prison rape, which doesn't really seem to be their point.

Oh, but prison rape is so funny. We laugh about it, then wonder why recidivism is so high.
 
2005-04-04 01:47:33 AM
fredklein:

InflatableJesus

So they have salad in prison now? What kind of dressing does it come with?

Creamy.


ooo, i'm sorry. the answer we were looking for was "tangy".
 
2005-04-04 01:48:43 AM
What's the big deal, anyway? Some jails are already providing imates with flatscreen TVs!

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=1130383
(No clicky. Copy-pasty!)
 
2005-04-04 01:51:52 AM
Main point:

How do cell phones get IN? Through the mail? Aren't they scanned through a metal detector?
 
2005-04-04 01:57:11 AM
Can you hear me now?... GOOD!
 
2005-04-04 01:57:25 AM
What's the big deal, anyway? Some jails are already providing imates with flatscreen TVs!


I saw a documentary on Fox tonight that showed how inmates who rat on other inmates are rewarded with plasma TVs in their cells and bling.
 
2005-04-04 01:57:31 AM
DreamWeaver

How do cell phones get IN?


Smuggled in in their girlfriend's, umm, you know whats.

Thrown over the fence.

Model airplane.

Bribed guard.

etc.
 
2005-04-04 01:57:45 AM
Won't be long now before they're sneaking in Shuttle SFFs.
 
2005-04-04 01:59:53 AM
I suppose ass-smuggling a cell phone is easier than a 42 inch plasma TV.
 
2005-04-04 02:02:19 AM
"What can BROWN do for you?"
 
2005-04-04 02:04:55 AM
as was the subject of the Simpsons tonight. Homer goes to prisoon and becomes a snitch. he got a flat screen TV from chief wiggum, i mean, his mother as a gift.
 
2005-04-04 02:06:57 AM
haha, mizike, the ol' Zach Morris phone.


/imageshack
 
2005-04-04 02:09:04 AM
hiding the phone in the anus is one thing...
but charging it is another.. surely the prison guards would wires trailing from an inmates buttocks to the nearest power supply just a tad suspicious.
 
2005-04-04 02:13:24 AM

an exclusive with
Jesus




Wow. You figure they would be smart and call their lawyer with the cell phone...
 
2005-04-04 02:37:16 AM
Receiving cellphone communications from prisoners is also illegal.

Say what?
 
2005-04-04 02:37:52 AM
At least they don't have cell phone guns. (Yes they exist)
 
2005-04-04 02:39:08 AM
Hannibal Lechter must be pissed off.

"Hello Clarise. I would like to order a large deep-dish with pepperoni and fava beans..."
 
2005-04-04 02:41:54 AM
At least they don't have to worry about getting hit with *roaming* charges.
 
2005-04-04 02:48:09 AM
What's a life sentence in the US? 20 years isn't it?
 
2005-04-04 02:54:21 AM
It depends on how old you are.
 
2005-04-04 02:56:09 AM
Or how disliked you are.
 
2005-04-04 02:56:16 AM
I am glad I was not the only one mildly amused/disturbed/curious on the hidden internally cell phone consept. I looked at my Motorola and thinking...nah...

SHUDDER
 
2005-04-04 02:58:42 AM
Makes you think twice about borrowing a cell phone again, doesn't it?
 
2005-04-04 03:15:30 AM

while (headline == SWEET)
{

submitter.GolfClap();
}

return ToWork;
 
2005-04-04 08:55:49 AM
As the article said, it isn't difficult in the slightest to jam these things. Come on, kiwis, get it together!
 
2005-04-04 09:28:35 AM
Blocking cell phones can't be that hard. Heck i can't get recption anywhere inside the office. These pricks get signal from insinde the Big House. Man i got to switch carriers
 
2005-04-04 09:55:59 AM
Man, I wish you guys would quit talking about tossed salads; your making me " ."
 
2005-04-04 10:00:24 AM
xBodo99 -
"I seriously doubt there's a lot of analingus in prison. That would imply trying to pleasure the victim of prison rape, which doesn't really seem to be their point."

It's not the rapist performing it but receiving it. It is a form of humiliation and dominance, performed out of fear of extreme physical violence.

/Never been in prison
 
2005-04-04 11:45:08 AM
InflatableJesus

Jelly or syrup
 
2005-04-04 02:25:45 PM
HOLD MY POCKET!
 
2005-04-04 06:40:13 PM
"rife" hey that's my last name.
 
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