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(News Herald)   Hungry hungry inmate tries to jump line and falls 15 feet to his death   (portclintonnewsherald.com) divider line 39
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8695 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Apr 2005 at 10:34 PM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2005-04-02 10:38:36 PM
Hungry Hungry Hippos! something something eating race!
 
2005-04-02 10:38:47 PM
Ah, and line-cutters finally get theirs...
 
2005-04-02 10:39:49 PM
wtf? 15 feet? that's it?
 
2005-04-02 10:40:43 PM
Is it the database problems or is this story so uninteresting TFers weren't the first 20 posts?
 
2005-04-02 10:42:17 PM
Hungry hungry haha!
 
2005-04-02 10:42:20 PM
I've had dear friends drop me from 15 feet.

It's not the fall that kills you, it's the landing.

Feet: good
Head: bad
 
2005-04-02 10:43:29 PM
you sure that aint was thrown over the top rail and unfortunately landed on another inmate before hitting his head.

but hey you gotta love 5 foot high railings that are like ladders. wrestlemania would be great in this cell block.
 
2005-04-02 10:44:33 PM
I thought starving was painless and peaceful............
 
2005-04-02 10:46:27 PM
"Boy, it looks like this guy really jumped to the wrong conculsion!"

-sorry, obligatroy pun
 
2005-04-02 10:48:28 PM
Cakeboy: I've had dear friends drop me from 15 feet.

It only hurts when I laugh.
 
2005-04-02 10:49:21 PM
This was green lighted because...?

/one step closer to my flying car
 
2005-04-02 10:53:39 PM
I give him a 10 for his form in the air, but the landing needed work.
 
2005-04-02 10:57:30 PM
Thinning the herd ... Nature takes its course.
 
2005-04-02 10:57:36 PM
I wondered whether the headline was a hungry hungry hippos reference, but I didn't get how it related....

O/T Fark's getting omnipotent w/ the passwords lately.
 
2005-04-02 10:58:46 PM
I heard no one liked him because he was a pain in the neck.
 
2005-04-02 11:09:00 PM
Last heard saying: "Watch this!"
 
2005-04-02 11:11:43 PM
"he's got the munchies for freedom"
 
2005-04-02 11:18:36 PM

That is the official story but what really happened is that he couldn't answer the question.



 
2005-04-02 11:19:52 PM
"Okay, Biff, the judges' scores are coming in:

France gives - 9.9!
Spain - 9.8!
USA - 9.9!
...and the Romanian judge says -- Oooooh! -- 8.5!

Tough break!

I guess the skull splitting open and brains leaking out on the floor left the Romanian judge a little cold, Biff!

That's true, Dan! Plus, the spatter probably didn't help either!
 
2005-04-02 11:46:44 PM
And how did you feel, being deprived of these, Hungry, Hungry Inmates?

Regret....
 
2005-04-02 11:47:35 PM
An inmate dies. Tough luck. There's plenty more where he came from.

It actually IS an uninteresting article. What am I doing posting here?
 
2005-04-02 11:51:39 PM


/obligatory
 
2005-04-02 11:53:26 PM
"check this out!"

*thunk*
 
2005-04-02 11:55:49 PM
Fark Me To Tears:

France gives - 9.9!
Spain - 9.8!
USA - 9.9!
...and the Romanian judge says -- Oooooh! -- 8.5!


funny, but why Romania for the fourth judge? you have America, Spain and France, wouldn't the logical fourth choice be UK or something?
 
2005-04-02 11:57:31 PM
The death of a Sandusky man who fell from a second-tier cell block at the Sandusky County Jail has been ruled an accident, and there will be no further investigation into the incident.

In other news, the value of pi has been set at a much more convenient 3.0.

Remember, if we say it, then that's how it is.

/security camera footage please?
 
2005-04-02 11:58:42 PM
Reed fell about 15 feet onto another inmate, and then flipped and hit his head on the concrete floor.

I dont know why but reading that is funny as fark.
 
2005-04-03 12:09:31 AM
John_Denver_Lives: funny, but why Romania for the fourth judge? you have America, Spain and France, wouldn't the logical fourth choice be UK or something?

Because the joke doesn't work using the UK.

For those of us old enough to remember, there was a time when you couldn't get a Romanian judge to give a high score in gymnastics unless the competitor was Romanian. In fact, many Eastern Bloc judges were loathe to give high scores to anyone who wasn't from an Eastern Bloc country. It was almost comical to watch the multinational panel of Olympic judges giving out scores, because you'd see 9.9, 10.0, 9.9, 9.8 and ... 8.7!
 
2005-04-03 12:25:09 AM
Hungry hungry inmate tries to jump line and falls 15 feet to his death.

In a related story, the inmate's relatives sue Toys 'R Us for their recent Easter toy commercial showing a father and son racing down the stairs, with the father jumping over the railing and onto a table below in order to get to the front door first.


(Yes this was a real commercial ... for Easter toys! Apparently, financially-troubled Toys R Us has decided that Easter is a toy holiday, just like Christmas. Forget about Christ rising from the dead. Forget about the Easter basket filled with candy. Now, Mom needs to go to the toy store to buy presents for everyone!)
 
2005-04-03 12:36:59 AM

The humans are protected
Humans have gone down the stairs
The humans are protected
At the bottom of the stairs


/sorry
 
2005-04-03 12:41:01 AM
Fark Me To Tears

Wow, I totally missed that joke. I should have gotten it; I lived in Romania for three years. As a reconciliation for my stupidity, I offer you a Romanian gymnast.

 
2005-04-03 12:42:53 AM
Cakeboy: It's not the fall that kills you, it's the landing.

True dat. He hit another guy, flipped and smacked his head on the (apparent) concrete floor. It must have been messy if they decided to bring in counselors and locked everyone up so they would have to see the scene.
 
2005-04-03 12:55:28 AM
Other inmate: "Told that farker if he jumped over that rail and landed on me one more time..."
 
2005-04-03 01:04:30 AM
John_Denver_Lives: As a reconciliation for my stupidity, I offer you a Romanian gymnast.

I humbly accept your Romanian gymnast, and wonder to myself, "Can my wife do that with her legs?"
 
2005-04-03 01:29:53 AM
Has he never heard that line jumping is cause for removal from the park?
 
2005-04-03 01:49:00 AM
I'd like to know if your wife can do that with her legs too.

If so....I wish I knew your wife.

/My wife can do that.
//Usually, her front foot is firmly kicking me in the nads.
 
2005-04-03 04:34:16 AM
wow, thanks darwin!
 
2005-04-03 04:52:03 AM
Wow, reminds me of that dad in the commercial who does the same jump to beat his kids to the computer game. But I think he lands on a china cabinet or something. Only saw it once. Anybody remember?
 
2005-04-03 01:02:32 PM
"The inmates were immediately locked back in their cells so they did not have to view the scene" WTF?


/sensitive
//Tito pass me a tissue
 
R3
2005-04-03 01:38:50 PM
Hungry hungry Homer?

 
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