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(Yahoo)   Fifteen-year-old surfer who lost arm to shark in 2003 will singlehandedly launch own fragrance line   ( divider line
    More: Spiffy  
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9518 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Apr 2005 at 10:57 PM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

138 Comments     (+0 »)

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2005-04-02 04:18:07 PM  
Ok, that was funny. But it was also terribly wrong.
2005-04-02 04:22:05 PM  

Will it be called "Eau de Shiat!"?
2005-04-02 04:27:19 PM  
Headline made me giggle.

But Stoked and Wired?
2005-04-02 04:29:57 PM  
"singlehandedly"? Boooo!
2005-04-02 04:30:17 PM  
Hey i'll root for her! She overcame a huge obstacle, and she is even surfing again. Atta girl!
2005-04-02 04:30:35 PM  
She's launching two fragrances Stoked and Wired that aim to capture the smell of the ocean.

Terrible marketing. Most people associate "smell of the ocean" with salt, seaweed, and rotting fish. Who wants to smell like that? Well, other than your mom...
2005-04-02 04:39:58 PM  
fcuking great headline
2005-04-02 04:44:27 PM  
Golf clap.
2005-04-02 04:56:41 PM  
forked_at_fark: Golf clap.

What is the sound of one hand clapping?
2005-04-02 04:58:16 PM  
Does this new fragrance attract or repel sharks?
2005-04-02 05:00:50 PM  
i gotta hand it to you, that's a great headline.
2005-04-02 05:08:38 PM  
This is getting out of hand!!

I'm up in arms about this headline!
2005-04-02 05:15:25 PM  
Yeah, but it'll cost you an arm and a leg.
2005-04-02 05:16:28 PM  
This idea is a total ripoff of this one guy I knew. Cosmo something or other.
2005-04-02 05:25:17 PM  
Oh man, they got that picture-taking style going for her that they used to do for the drummer from Def Leppard.
2005-04-02 05:28:55 PM  
Hands down the best headline of the day.
2005-04-02 05:29:33 PM  
"My dear, what is that fragrance you're wearing? It's absolutely disarming."

/shoot me
2005-04-02 05:32:11 PM  
2005-04-02 05:45:09 PM  
Stoked blends notes of clementine, pineapple, tropical orchids, lotus blossoms, sandalwood and coconut.

I was expecting to see "scent of human blood" included in that concoction, but maybe she learned from her mistake and took it out.
2005-04-02 05:52:57 PM  
props on the headline.
2005-04-02 06:00:21 PM  
One thumbs up for headline!
2005-04-02 06:43:07 PM  
Does it smell like shark breath?

If it does, I'm interested.
2005-04-02 07:31:51 PM  
Cosmo Kramer not amused.

KRAMER:- You know I got a great idea for a cologne. The Beach. You spray it on and you smell like you just came home from the beach.

JERRY: - Hum, a cologne that smells like the beach. I can't believe I'm saying this, "That's not a bad idea."
2005-04-02 07:40:41 PM  
rutager: props on the headline.

No boat prop did this!

Go-Go Gadget Headline
2005-04-02 08:06:53 PM  
Your dog wants his own fragrance, too.
[image from too old to be available]
2005-04-02 11:02:11 PM  
wonderful title. you'll burn, sure, but wonderful title nonetheless.
2005-04-02 11:03:09 PM  
They wanted to give it a catchy name like "Missing Limburger."
2005-04-02 11:04:47 PM  
OH MY GOD! I laughed and laughed at the headline.
2005-04-02 11:04:49 PM  
Making lemonade.

/Obvious why she's not introducing an acne medication line.
2005-04-02 11:05:06 PM  
2005-04-02 11:05:32 PM  
"Venus, that perfume is absoluting disarming, where DID you get it?"
2005-04-02 11:06:30 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Hamilton lost her right arm when a 14-foot tiger shark attacked her on October 31, 2003, while she was surfing in Kauai, Hawaii.
2005-04-02 11:06:46 PM  
counts way low
2005-04-02 11:06:57 PM  

(Jingle for the cologne campaign)
"Here's to swimmin' with one armed wimmin'..."
[image from too old to be available]

"You spray cologne on you, you go in the cage, cage goes in the water, you go in the water. Shark's in the water, our shark.

2005-04-02 11:07:59 PM  
She's launching two fragrances Stoked and Wired that aim to capture the smell of the ocean.

Stoked is for girls and Wired is for boys. Stoked blends notes of clementine, pineapple, tropical orchids, lotus blossoms, sandalwood and coconut. Wired includes notes of orange and Asian pear, jasmine, juniper, cedar wood and sandalwood.

Er -- excuse me -- but what ocean smells like lotus blossoms or Asian pear?
2005-04-02 11:08:19 PM  
I congratulate you submitter. But this is your destination.
[image from too old to be available]
2005-04-02 11:08:44 PM  
It's to be called "Smell of Fear".
2005-04-02 11:09:00 PM  
/got nothin' I'm stumped
2005-04-02 11:09:29 PM  
What's next, a dandruff shampoo from Jayne Mansfield?
2005-04-02 11:09:31 PM  
While it's 'fearless' that she's going back to the waters that caused her to lose her arm so she can do what she loves, I think it's dumb that everyone says she's so 'brave' for having her arm bitten off by a shark.
What did they expect her to do, play with the shark?
2005-04-02 11:10:40 PM  
mad props to submitter. i'll buy you a beer when we both get to hell (i laughed at your headline)
2005-04-02 11:11:06 PM  
xor_4200: I noticed that too... I'm like wtf - they can regrow arms now?
2005-04-02 11:14:22 PM  
It was probably Eau de Blood that attracted the shark. She might be on to something.

InflatableJesus, can I have the window seat?
2005-04-02 11:14:58 PM  

Man. You gotta give her a hand.

[image from too old to be available]

2005-04-02 11:17:13 PM  
List of unused terrible puns:

you know...she's kind of cute. you might even call her hand-some.
Does she sell handsoap too?
C'mon folks, she came back from a terrible accident! Lets give her a hand!
Is she saying I smell bad?-she needs to stop thumbing around in my business.
Although it would be really handy to smell like the beach....

/dying inside
2005-04-02 11:17:54 PM  
I can't believe no one else has said this yet...

I'd hit it!

/well... when she's old enough
2005-04-02 11:18:40 PM  
article as it's posted now: Hamilton has been surfing competitively since she was 11. In 2003, she lost her left arm in a shark attack off Kauai, Hawaii. She has since returned to surfing.

They must've changed the article since xor_4200's comment. In any case, the pics on her website shows her left arm as missing.

(Yes, I visited it; no, my original intention was to look for text info rather than pictures; and yes, her site is really creepy. I mean, come on. Be evangelistic if you want, but at least learn to write and/or trust your reader to take you seriously without having the message beaten into his or her head with...uh...a surfboard or something.)
2005-04-02 11:20:08 PM  
me: the pics on her website shows her left arm as missing

Meh, subject-verb agreement falls victim to sloppy sentence revision. (Yes, I actually look over what I write before I submit. Guess I should have done so twice this time...)
2005-04-02 11:20:38 PM  
if the perfume line doesn't work, she always has a few more chances left as a Wendy's chili spokesmodel...
2005-04-02 11:20:43 PM  
Will the perfume nazis only spray the right arm?
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