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(Chron)   Cool: Being a private firearms dealer. Not so cool: Leaving your SUV unlocked with over 30 high-powered rifles inside   (chron.com ) divider line
    More: Dumbass  
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12758 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Apr 2005 at 8:59 PM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2005-04-01 02:30:31 PM  
[image from home.comcast.net too old to be available]

Private Pyle, if there is one thing I hate, it is an unlocked footlocker! If it weren't for assholes like you, there'd be no thievery in this world!
 
2005-04-01 07:54:03 PM  
Not so cool. Having frothy discharge spew from your microphallus.

//Mods kindly shut off the lowest common denominator filter.
///Much obliged you hobo-fellating man-children.


"Palace, Lee, I believe you mean Costume Palace."
 
2005-04-01 09:04:18 PM  
Personally, I consider anything that explodes with enough force to kill someone to be "high powered". But I'm rational like that.
 
2005-04-01 09:04:50 PM  
how about some charges for the idiot who left 30 weapons unattended?

"That is one ugly bird."
 
2005-04-01 09:05:54 PM  
C'mon, release the guy's name.

I bet it's Buddy something.

"I don't wanna die!"
 
2005-04-01 09:09:22 PM  
The dealer's business, FCP Tactical, which he runs from his home, is being inspected by federal agents

Does this "inspection" involve a broom handle? It should. I have never seen a more appropriate use of the dumbass tag.
 
2005-04-01 09:17:17 PM  
born dumb
stayed dumb
 
2005-04-01 09:19:32 PM  
And a Hummer to boot. Could have guessed it.

"My emails are like my childrens."
 
2005-04-01 09:19:36 PM  
But then again, he is from Houston...

"Marzipan! Marizpan!"
 
2005-04-01 09:21:57 PM  
Yep. Those guns were great. Too bad the recievers were sticky. Yep...

"Hey Crapface! Why dontcha blow it out your ear."
 
2005-04-01 09:23:24 PM  
what an affwont to wesponsibwe gun ownews, dis is just fuew fow de odew side
 
2005-04-01 09:26:33 PM  
What's with the HSR quotes???
 
2005-04-01 09:26:35 PM  
i think that ornery cuss should start a cult, and a bottle of rum!
 
2005-04-01 09:27:33 PM  
guns i have guns
i like guns i like fire'
GUNS FIRE!!!!
 
2005-04-01 09:27:55 PM  
I wouldn't be surprised if this is just a BS story the dealer made up.

He sold the weapons to someone on the black market directly.
To avoid being held responsible, when they finally show up somewhere, he conviently says he was robbed of them.
from his unlocked SUV... how quaint, that's giving law and legal system the finger, eh...

He's probably also collecting insurance.

FBI's going be watching this guys @ss very closely for the next 50 years, from inside...
 
2005-04-01 09:28:38 PM  
De weapons included 16 silencers an' five machine guns.

A silenca' be some damn weapon? Ain't silencers illegal in plum about every state anyway?


"Palace, Lee, I believe you mean Costume Palace."
 
2005-04-01 09:30:13 PM  
...and Fark has imploded. Whether this April Fools thing is on purpose or not, it's getting annoying.

"You know, the kind that are only kinda hot so they don't mess around with other guys!"
 
2005-04-01 09:31:01 PM  
It's better than leaving your car unlocked with eighty dildos of various shapes, sizes and colors visible.
 
2005-04-01 09:36:45 PM  
careful now
 
2005-04-01 09:37:53 PM  
Mmmmmmm.....silencer
 
2005-04-01 09:38:46 PM  
overlord - It depends on thuh state. Sum states allow 'em, sum don't. All silencers hafta be registered with thuh ATF.

Innerestingly, many European countries, d'spite their reputashun fer bein' highly restrictive on firearms, allow folks tuh purchase silencers without 'stra hassle. Usin' a silencer is viewed as bein' good-neighborly, in that one's shootin' don't disturb thuh peace.
 
2005-04-01 09:42:34 PM  
Hope those bears will like being in a "well regulated militia."

"Great jorb there."
 
2005-04-01 09:45:16 PM  
What the Fark is "Great jorb there?" Not my post. If Fark is farking with my farking posts then what the fark is the point of any farking originality?

"They tell me not to, but I still drinks it!"
 
2005-04-01 09:45:40 PM  
[image from wjllope.rice.edu too old to be available]

De weapons wuz stolen on Ma'ch 16 fum an unlocked Humma' spo't utility vehicle

ah' smell Koby an' Roga' Clemens... i'm sho' 'nuff de FBI gots'ta also made dis connection. 'S coo', bro...
 
2005-04-01 09:46:36 PM  
"They tell me not to, but I still drinks it!" Looks like someone has chugged the kool ade.
 
Poe
2005-04-01 09:48:19 PM  
I have been looking into getting a silencer for my Walther P22, but it looks like it may be too much of a pain in the ass and expensive.

"Looks like you're riding the 7:30 alone train to ALONEVILLE, making stops at ex-Girlfriend Junction and West BREAKING UP WITH YOU!... Oh! And you can KEEP THE COLLECTOR'S PLATES!!!"
 
2005-04-01 09:49:03 PM  
Private firearms dealer sounds almost too special. Why don't they call those other people private narcotic dealers, or private escort dealers? I guess I know why, but when a guy's doing stupid things like leaving rifles in an unlocked unattended vehicle, I say he deserves a less friendly label.
 
2005-04-01 09:51:05 PM  
the ebonics filter is fairly annoying too (i didn't type that)... will see y'all tomorrow... cheers
 
2005-04-01 09:51:06 PM  
Can anyone get ze fornt page .mof to play? I get a kodec error in vmp und winamp.

/guns don't kill, dumbasses do
 
2005-04-01 09:53:23 PM  
heh qt works. god i hate qt.

/jungle booty
 
2005-04-01 09:53:32 PM  
born dumb
stayed dumb

"I'm a million ladies tall!"
 
2005-04-01 09:54:37 PM  
What the hell is going on with fark?
If it is an april fools joke it really isnt funny.


"Where's Marzipan? She's supposed to be hewowowowo!!!"
 
2005-04-01 09:55:40 PM  
High powered, pfft, pass the M-80 bubba
 
2005-04-01 09:56:58 PM  
now you owe him a bond of 1,000,000 dollarth thnoringtoad. You know, honey?..
 
2005-04-01 09:57:31 PM  
Marzipan! Farkzipan!
 
2005-04-01 09:57:37 PM  
atWhay away oserlay. Ifway Iway asway ishay ossbay, Iway ouldway eatbay imhay otay eathday ithway ishay ownway oeshay.
 
2005-04-01 09:57:56 PM  
Have you guys checked your profiles? This is what mine says:

Raging_Rabbit (Moderator) (Homeland Security Watchlist)

"Baleeted!"
 
2005-04-01 09:58:37 PM  
snoringtoad: You should have been here all day. It becomes the epitomy of annoying.

Though the fake front pages were hilarious.
 
2005-04-01 10:01:05 PM  
....an' now it's gone. What it is, Mama!.........
 
2005-04-01 10:01:58 PM  
What the fark?
 
2005-04-01 10:02:34 PM  
I give fark's postmodern fool's day login the penetrated space of nuisance a big "meh"
 
2005-04-01 10:05:16 PM  
It's funny how peopwe awe becoming annonyed by de fiwtew. It's a joy.

"Actuawwy it's not Apwiw Foow's Day. It's mowe wike Monstew Weenie Satuwday."- Ovewheawd at Weenie Hut.

Coow: Being jaiwed fow weaving youw SUV unwocked wif ovew 30 high-powewed wifwes inside. Not so coow: Whinning about Fawk's siwwyness.

Wowks fine in fiwefox Big B.

Wighten up peopwe.
 
2005-04-01 10:12:25 PM  
Guns don't steal people, people steal guns.

"I'm shakin' it to the left and to the right!"
 
2005-04-01 10:13:14 PM  
LOL, Farked by April Fools
 
2005-04-01 10:16:16 PM  
Earlier it's a Fark full of beer - then it's 1999


I'm confused...and a little scared....

"One two three, e-mail me. One two four, e-mail me more."
 
2005-04-01 10:18:52 PM  
LOL APRIL FOOLS!111111111111111111111one
 
2005-04-01 10:19:44 PM  
What exactly is a high powered rifle? High powered compared to what? Were there any low powered rifles present and the theaves decided not to take them?
 
2005-04-01 10:21:27 PM  
ya'll chill tha funk out... it is april foolz day for another two hours est.

it was funny in 2000 and is still funny now. ufia for the arseholes who thing otherwise. get over yourselves.
-sb
 
2005-04-01 10:22:15 PM  
hey it'th april foolth, let'th put up with a few click-throughth and thome modth rephrathing our pothts. Mmmh... probably they're trying to put in ekthtra effort to make up for the downtime. You know, honey? let'th give them a break - they mean well. Let me tell you....
 
2005-04-01 10:22:40 PM  
my ex girlfriends dad sold guns on the side. Sounds like this asshat was probobly an independent. And the liberals are worried about gun shows.

"It's curtains for you!"
 
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