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(Chortler)   U.S. Department of Education to place asterisks beside names of artists who have used performance-enchancing substances   (chortler.com) divider line 52
    More: Satire  
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9928 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Mar 2005 at 3:54 PM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2005-03-31 03:41:39 PM
*** This is not a very good idea.

- DoubleGGuy ***
 
2005-03-31 03:52:57 PM
...paintings by suspected drug users Leonardo da Vinci, Michelangelo, Pablo Picasso and Salvador Dali will be torn out of all artistic text books from this point forward.
Can we do this to athletes who use steriods too??? Because I really care about what they do too...NOT!
Dumbest thing I've heard all day.
 
2005-03-31 03:58:37 PM
Man, that's a lot of ink
 
2005-03-31 03:59:48 PM
See the tag?

For those of you who don't know:
satire
1. A literary work in which human vice or folly is attacked through irony, derision, or wit.
2. The branch of literature constituting such works. See Synonyms at caricature.
2. Irony, sarcasm, or caustic wit used to attack or expose folly, vice, or stupidity.

Source: dictionary.com

Thank you, and goodnight.
 
2005-03-31 04:01:23 PM
that's not such a good idea
 
2005-03-31 04:01:28 PM


"If you don't think drugs have done any good for society then you need to go home and take all of your favorite records and burn 'em, cuz the musicians who made all that great music were reeeeeeeeeally farkin' high on drugs."
 
2005-03-31 04:02:14 PM
"...and Salvador Dali"

didn't read the 50 secrets of magic craftsmanship, did we?
 
2005-03-31 04:03:05 PM
Just a random thought. Will everyone who works at the US Department of Education and has used performing enhancing substances have asterisks next to their name on memos and their paychecks and stuff?
/ It's not the flashbacks that bother me, it's those damn flashforwards.
// Would using Viagra cause vertical stacking of asterisks?
/// yaaay three slashs.. more drugs more asterisks? ie:*********************************timothy leary**************************
 
2005-03-31 04:03:19 PM
does pussy fall into that catagory?
 
2005-03-31 04:04:22 PM
"I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too."

RIP Mitch
 
2005-03-31 04:04:27 PM
*** Dag Yo ***
It has come to our attention that Farker *Dag Yo* may have been using performance enhancing substances when he made that comment. Future versions of Fark will not contain his posts.

/thanks for ruining our fun!
// ^-- satire!
 
2005-03-31 04:04:59 PM
son of secret police
Do sea urchins count as a controlled substance?
 
2005-03-31 04:09:24 PM
ElWaxoro: Thanks :-)
 
2005-03-31 04:09:35 PM
This could have been much funnier.
 
2005-03-31 04:10:54 PM

Source: http://www.pritchettcartoons.com/cartoons/steroids.jpg
 
2005-03-31 04:11:37 PM
April Fool's early?
 
2005-03-31 04:13:10 PM
They also kill comedians... RIP Mitch...

/some drugs, ok
//morphine/OJ cocktails, not so much
 
2005-03-31 04:13:34 PM
Apparently fewer people understand the concept of "satire" than understand the meaning of "irony".
 
2005-03-31 04:14:59 PM
The asterisc in the Mona Lisa's face makes her cry.
 
2005-03-31 04:19:03 PM
The asterisks in Miro's paintings represent arseholes.

I was hoping to make a joke from this fact, but I guess I'll have to settle for a sentence.
 
2005-03-31 04:20:17 PM
Satire is supposed to have a point. What's the point here? That it's a double standard that it's ok for artists to use occupational-enhancing drugs but not athletes? Because it's not. Bah. Most modern satire blows.
 
2005-03-31 04:21:14 PM
Man, even when there's a big tag people still take this stuff seriously. It is worrisome to me that so many people are either gullible enough or stupid enough not to recognize satire, especially when it comes advertised as such. But every time there is a satirical article posted on FARK you can bet on a good many people missing out on it being fake.
 
2005-03-31 04:23:11 PM
That was NEARLY funny....
 
2005-03-31 04:28:35 PM
Can we put asterisks next to everyone who used, err abuses, performance enhancing substances now. Including presidents?
 
2005-03-31 04:31:16 PM
Can we put asterisks next to the names of Farkers who don't understand what SATIRE means?

/you know who you are and now, so do we.
 
2005-03-31 04:39:45 PM
Sorry, but that failed to cross my "funny threshold"

Great premise, terrible execution, like most of what SNL has done for the last ten years.
 
2005-03-31 04:51:00 PM
like most of what SNL has done for the last ten years.

Try the last 20 years. The SNL slide into mediocrity started in the 80s.
 
2005-03-31 04:52:22 PM
boojieboy

Great premise, terrible execution, like most of what SNL has done for the last ten years.

They need to get the group from the Nixon Administration to return. Now *that* was a good cast.
 
2005-03-31 04:59:38 PM
Satire is supposed to have a point.

that's news to me. and i am deeply concerned with those who did take that article seriously.
 
2005-03-31 05:06:07 PM
"Enchancing?"

But seriously, if we purged all the substance-abusing folks from the literary and artistic rolls, we'd be left with jack shiat. Maybe a few shiatty Wyland paintings and some of Ezra Pound's more intolerably stodgy poetry. That's about it.
 
2005-03-31 05:08:36 PM
president bush*****************
 
2005-03-31 05:14:02 PM
It would be easier to put asterisks next to the names of artists who haven't done drugs.
 
2005-03-31 05:18:53 PM
I am confused. Is this supposed to be an anti-drug?
 
2005-03-31 05:24:53 PM
2005-03-31 04:52:22 PM cyrus_hunter

boojieboy

Great premise, terrible execution, like most of what SNL has done for the last ten years.

They need to get the group from the Nixon Administration to return. Now *that* was a good cast.


People kept referring to this guy named "Eddy Murphy" who supposedly made SNL funny once. I don't actually believe them, as I suspect it's a case of "let's put one over on the guy who didn't have TV until 1992". Plus the only Eddy Murphy I've ever heard of is that guy who did "Dr. Doolittle" and "Pluto Nash". So yeah, I think they're just making shiat up.
 
2005-03-31 05:36:51 PM
Finally, thanks to art, LSD and weed can be considered a preformance enhancing substance.
 
2005-03-31 05:44:57 PM
it's supposed to be a JOKE
 
2005-03-31 05:55:17 PM
FileName N: Try the last 20 years. The SNL slide into mediocrity started in the 80s.


I think SNL loses it's funny when you graduate high school. In my opinion it has'nt been funny since the start on a regualar basis, yes it's moments, but alot of people don't rember the crap.
 
2005-03-31 06:04:08 PM
more like sad-tire.
 
2005-03-31 06:21:18 PM
Wouldn't it be easier to put an asterisk by those artists who don't use drugs?

Just look for the crappiest art, and - bingo! - there you go!

***************************
 
2005-03-31 06:46:01 PM


My God! It's full of stars... next to the artists names.
 
2005-03-31 06:55:48 PM
Roy Allen Damn, you beat me to it...
 
2005-03-31 06:57:17 PM
Filename N "Try the last 20 years. The SNL slide into mediocrity started in the 80s."

Waitaminute, there was a time after 1977 that SNL was funny?

/didn't get the memo
 
2005-03-31 06:57:35 PM
They were going to do it for politicians, but it would then be Obivious.
 
2005-03-31 07:38:34 PM
Can we put asterisks next to everyone who used, err abuses, performance enhancing substances now. Including presidents?

Hopefully the mods are plotting that right now.
 
2005-03-31 08:08:54 PM
The most amusing part about this article was reading the comments thread and finding out there are farkers so dumb they don't understand what satire means.
 
2005-03-31 08:56:33 PM
Satire? Wasn't he that French existentialist writer?

Before responding, I know it's Sartre,* and I'm just kidding.
 
2005-03-31 11:41:22 PM
This was niether satire nor sarcasm nor funny, discuss amongst yah'selves.
 
2005-04-01 12:12:18 AM
*Hans Blix*
***George W. Bush***
Marsel Dushamp
*Nevt Gingrish*
Jonazan Safran Foer
**Kurt Vonegut**

If zis ver real- vhish it's not BESAUSE TI'S A FARKING SATIRE- zen zat'd be for starters.
 
2005-04-01 12:13:55 AM
0C... \/\/hy |)Id ph@rK c]-[4Ng3 th4T 1n7() @|\| aUZtro d|4LECt @fteR Y 5pent Ten mYnu73Z sP3L1CHekK1n6???
 
2005-04-01 12:15:12 AM
When did Fark decide to start doing dialects?!
 
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