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(CNN)   It's outrageous, egregious, preposterous! Attorney Johnnie Cochran dead at 67   (cnn.com) divider line 154
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8156 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Mar 2005 at 12:03 AM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2005-03-31 12:05:32 AM
i... don't even know what to feel anymore.
 
2005-03-31 12:05:44 AM
If the brain don't fit, you call must call it quits.

RIP Johnny.
 
2005-03-31 12:05:57 AM
Dammit, I had my headline ready for this.

Johnnie Cochran dies of brain tumor. O.J. vows to find real killer.

:^(
 
2005-03-31 12:05:59 AM
"God not buying Chewbacca Defense."

/obligatory
 
2005-03-31 12:06:00 AM
If the new raid card does not fit, you must acquit.
 
2005-03-31 12:07:35 AM
The Pope, Terry Schiavo and Johnny Cochran all go to Heaven. St. Peter looks at them and says "Heaven's a bit full right now, and only two of you can get in. The other one will be sent to Hell and dropped into a Lake of Fire."

The Pope says "Well, I was God's representative on Earth, so naturally I should be allowed into Heaven."

Terry Schiavo says "Millions of people prayed for me when I was dying, so with all that prayer in my favor I'm a shoe-in."

St. Peter nods and says to Johnny Cochran, "And what do you have to say in your defense?"

Two hours later, the Pope turns to Terry Schiavo and says, "Who the hell is Chewbacca?"

Terry replies, "Shut the fark up and keep swimming."
 
2005-03-31 12:07:38 AM
if the toe tag fits, you must aquit
 
2005-03-31 12:07:45 AM
The lack of Fark claims its first victim.

Johnnie we knew you way too much
 
2005-03-31 12:08:02 AM
As I said before, I had no idea until now.

This is why I need Fark.
 
2005-03-31 12:08:37 AM
Good... bye.
 
2005-03-31 12:08:57 AM
Jackie Chiles: "Did that cigarette warning label mention anything about damage to your appearance?"
Kramer: "No. No it didn't say anything."
Jackie Chiles: "So you are a victim. And now your face is sallow, unattractive, disgusting"
Kramer: "So Jackie, do think we got a case?"
Jackie Chiles: "Your face is my case"

 
2005-03-31 12:10:38 AM
I wonder if they chose burial or creamation?

Cuz, you know, if the grave don't fit, he must be lit.
 
2005-03-31 12:11:51 AM
I'm suprised no one has mentioned this yet:

This asshat died of an INOPERABLE BRAIN TUMOR. I probably shouldn't be speaking, but I think this is God's way of sending a big fark-off to you.

/Realizes that *everyone* has a right to an attorney
//Realizes some lawyers have to do it as bread-and-butter work
///Has a hard time feeling band for lawyers who showboat the fact that they don't care about guilt or innocence, and just it solely just for the cash.
 
2005-03-31 12:11:57 AM
Rest in peace Cochrane, you did what was neeeded.

Thank you.
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2005-03-31 12:12:19 AM
If the coffin's late, you must cremate.
 
2005-03-31 12:12:28 AM


Johnnie. You will be missed.
 
2005-03-31 12:13:25 AM
If they say it's a tumor, it can't be a rumor!
 
2005-03-31 12:14:04 AM
Dat does not make SINSE!
 
2005-03-31 12:14:56 AM
I picture Johnnie C hitting F5 over and over and over until his head just exploded...

"Gotta Fark!! Gotta Fark!! Gotta Fark!! *BLAM*"
 
2005-03-31 12:15:02 AM
Pearly Gates Guard: If the defense dont fit, dont admit!
 
2005-03-31 12:15:28 AM
good riddance
 
2005-03-31 12:16:05 AM
Thank god he did the honorable thing and died. None of this feeding tube, vegatative state crap. Johnny, I tip my hat to you sir. Godspeed.
 
2005-03-31 12:16:08 AM
Who told you to put a balm on? Did I tell you to put a balm on? Do you even know what a balm is?
 
2005-03-31 12:17:01 AM
if it has no cure, you're dead for sure.
 
2005-03-31 12:17:14 AM
good bye asshat, the world is a better place without you. adios!!!
 
2005-03-31 12:17:29 AM
Now I know what I was missing while Fark was down.

"Holier than thou" asshats

/I feel complete
//If you could afford him, you would hire him in a heartbeat.
 
2005-03-31 12:18:11 AM
There's no money in dying Johnnie.

Come back and prove that all murderers are innocent.
 
2005-03-31 12:23:00 AM
jbc heh...
Condi Rice was all praise of his good work on NPR this morning...
 
2005-03-31 12:23:53 AM
"If he comes back from the dead, then chop off his head"
 
2005-03-31 12:26:36 AM
who cares, seriously? would anyone even know or give a rats ass who this guy is if it wasnt for OJ?
 
2005-03-31 12:27:08 AM
Chewbacca slopes off in search of a new lawyer.
 
2005-03-31 12:28:09 AM
Didn't Johnny Cochran try to model himself after Algonquin J. Calhoun, the lawyer on the old Amos and Andy TV show ?
At least that's who he reminded me of with his courtroom antics.
 
2005-03-31 12:28:48 AM
Damn! millerbear77 beat me to it with a Jackie Chiles comment. "You put the balm on? Who told you to put the balm on? I didn't tell you to put the balm on. Why'd you put the balm on? You haven't even been to see the doctor. If your gonna put a balm on, let a doctor put a balm on."
 
2005-03-31 12:29:07 AM
"It's not a tuma!"

 
2005-03-31 12:33:22 AM
I may not always have been a fan of Mr. Cochran's work, but man, that's just a shiatty way to go.

At least it was quick, and he didn't linger on feeding tubes and breathing machines.

RIP
 
2005-03-31 12:34:20 AM
Did his pager explode?
 
2005-03-31 12:35:57 AM
the defense rests
 
2005-03-31 12:36:49 AM
I hate to admit this, but I actually had a twinge of sadness at the news. What a unique and weird American. Rest In Peace.
 
2005-03-31 12:44:37 AM
Ha, my exact sentiments, DrLearned. Side comment after reading your profile: Edgar Meyer teaches bass at the university I attend in Nashville, TN. Unbelievable player, and very interesting, quirky guy. Appalachian Waltz with Yo Yo Ma and Mark O'Conner is unreal.
 
2005-03-31 12:45:29 AM
Great, now who's going to help O.J. track down the real killers?
 
2005-03-31 12:45:35 AM
For those that don't like him thanks to the OJ case - he was hired to do a job, and he did it. Damn well too. The accused has the right to an attorney who will defend the client as vigorously as possible.
Heard him on an interview on a local talk show about three years back - he was an extremely intelligent man. And when he was asked about the OJ case, he said, "we didn't make Mark Fuhrman commit perjury. We weren't the ones who planted evidence."
 
2005-03-31 12:45:52 AM
"If I don't get out of bed, I must be dead!"
 
2005-03-31 12:47:09 AM
ok, i didn't really follow the whole Johnnie Cochran thing in great detail, so i'm a little behind on the scoop here. that being admitted, could someone please summarize the gist of the Cochran/Chewbacca thing? thanx
/lives partially under a rock
 
2005-03-31 12:50:48 AM
The Chewbacca defense is a quote from the South Park episode, Chef Aid:

Johnnie Cochran: "Ladies and gentlemen of the supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider: this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk, but Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now, think about that. That does not make sense!"

Kyle's Dad: (DAMNIT! HE'S USING THE CHEWBACCA DEFENSE)

Johnnie Cochran: "Why would a Wookiee an eight foot tall Wookiee want to live on Endor with a bunch of two foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense!

But more importantly, you have to ask yourself: what does that have to do with this case?

Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense!

Look at me, I'm a lawyer defending a major record company, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca. Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense. None of this makes sense.

And so you have to remember, when you're in that jury room deliberating and conjugating the Emancipation Proclamation... does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense.

If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests"
 
2005-03-31 12:51:39 AM
Race Card (n.) -

Pointing out that the Christopher Commission found racism to be widespread in the L.A.P.D., that your client is black, and one of the detectives can be heard saying the N word on tape.

Actually, it sounds like he was doing his job.

-dameron
 
2005-03-31 12:51:57 AM
The fires of hell burn a little brighter tonight.
 
2005-03-31 12:54:38 AM
dameron:

I think you just premptied most of the posts in this potential flamewar. We may have a winner.
 
2005-03-31 12:55:03 AM
Origin_of_the_Feces

Dammit, BearToy the pictures you posted of various guys hugging in that one thread were okay, but this time you've gone too far. Diet Coke burns when forcefully ejected through the nose.

Terribly sorry there bro. I use straight vodka, valium, respersdol, trazadone, sonata..... and some kind of fish paralyzer... and it *really* stings when Fark makes me gigglespew.

/note to self: calm down
 
2005-03-31 12:55:44 AM
Does anyone get a little annoyed at BearToy's centered image post(TM)?
 
2005-03-31 12:58:42 AM
azpenguin

"we didn't make Mark Fuhrman commit perjury. We weren't the ones who planted evidence.".

Also, the prosecution was kinda busy knocking boots, so they may have missed that part.
 
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