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(Digital Spy)   Hollywood is out of ideas: Catherine Zeta-Jones is to play Pamela Ewing in a big screen adaptation of "Dallas"   (digitalspy.co.uk) divider line 96
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5339 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Mar 2005 at 9:00 AM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2005-03-29 09:05:04 AM  
Hollywood? Out of ideas?

What about, erm, "The Pacifier?"

Oh.
 
2005-03-29 09:05:09 AM  
I'd hit it
 
2005-03-29 09:06:45 AM  
But who shoots JR?
 
2005-03-29 09:07:32 AM  
Ick. What a waste of her talents.
 
2005-03-29 09:08:34 AM  
Yeah, when I'm looking for my big Hollywood scoops, I always go to a UK website I've never heard of.
 
2005-03-29 09:08:36 AM  
Couldn't they do another Charlie's Angels sequel, if they're going to adapt old and crappy TV shows?
 
2005-03-29 09:08:49 AM  
Pindooca: Ick. What a waste of her talents.

I don't know if you are being sarcastic or not... :)
 
2005-03-29 09:10:00 AM  
I'd hit it.

/had to be said
 
2005-03-29 09:11:08 AM  
A waste of her talents of hawking T Mobil maybe...
 
2005-03-29 09:11:38 AM  
I hear the modern versions has a fishy looking character who yells:

"IT'S A TRAP J.R.! ITS A TRAP!!"
 
2005-03-29 09:11:57 AM  
Bengalt1g3r
Got yer six:

 
2005-03-29 09:13:36 AM  
haha the pacifier, worst movie EVER

anyway, did't she prove how much she sucks in the terminal?
 
2005-03-29 09:15:03 AM  
Its not hollywood to blame its the sheeple that go to this crap. The Pukes of Hazzard as a film? Why not a stage production....please dont tell me!

When should we expect the Appledumplin' gang goes to the Hood? Look out here comes Herbie-again....I'm just glad a Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy finally hits the bigscreen. DNA all the way.
 
2005-03-29 09:16:33 AM  
This thread is worthless without pics of CZJ.
 
2005-03-29 09:16:55 AM  


This thread is useless without greatly improved with pictures. That pic captures perhaps one of the greatest moments in cinematic ass-history.
 
2005-03-29 09:17:33 AM  
Hell, I'd pay to watch a video of the photoshoot for those 'Men Will Melt' posters in the cosmetics departments.

Don't bother me with plot & dialog.
 
2005-03-29 09:18:41 AM  
Let's see...the candle recall thing...Dallas remake...

What's going to complete the stupid Texas stuff trifecta today?

/Texan
//original Dallas show sucked, why bring it back?
 
2005-03-29 09:19:07 AM  
Murgus618:

I'm just glad a Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy finally hits the bigscreen. DNA all the way.

Because a multi-book series satirizing 1970s British culture/brit-fi already successfully adapted to radio and television miniseries will be done justice by ninety minutes of CGI and American actors.

It's going to be like Paris Hilton. Pretty and retarded.
 
2005-03-29 09:20:05 AM  
If Hollywood is so out of ideas that they are resorting to this, then hows about a big screen adaption of Miami Vice instead of the steaming pile this movie will undoubtably be.
 
2005-03-29 09:22:48 AM  
Is "Quincy" next?
 
2005-03-29 09:26:55 AM  
Hollywood ran out of ideas years ago. Only ones coming/that came up with anything half original recently is Pixar and whoever did Shrek (unless they did that too). Most movies nowadays tend to be based off something else.
 
2005-03-29 09:27:13 AM  
Don't get me wrong, Hollywood has been making shiatty movies since day one, but does it seem to anyone else that these days every second major movie coming out is based on some stupid TV series or an older movie? It really does look like Hollywood is indeed out of ideas.
 
2005-03-29 09:28:21 AM  
"If nothing is changed and these services [such as Grokster] continue to operate, it will have an impact on the creative process. For the movie industry, it will mean less risk will be taken in terms of the creation of new material," said Dan Glickman, president of the Motion Picture Association of America.

from here.
 
2005-03-29 09:29:18 AM  
SherKhan

This thread is useless without greatly improved with pictures. That pic captures perhaps one of the greatest moments in cinematic ass-history.

Damned right. If I was the director, I would have shot that take over and over again, as often as I could get away with, and I'd be hiding a hard-on just like I was in high-school again.
 
2005-03-29 09:29:51 AM  
The Jeffersons, a film by Spike Lee
 
2005-03-29 09:30:23 AM  
Oh man now I can't get all the egg chunks out of my keyboard, typing this with an onscreen keyboard while I wipe my mouth.
 
2005-03-29 09:31:37 AM  


"Damn you, J.R.!"
 
2005-03-29 09:31:53 AM  
i'm still holding out for the big screen adation of Salvage 1 :}

rocket cgi AND Matlock
If that ain't a winner I don't know what is!
 
2005-03-29 09:31:55 AM  
LunaBlue

The Jeffersons, a film by Spike Lee

Get Mario Van Peebles to direct, and maybe it'll be baaaadasssssss.
 
2005-03-29 09:32:54 AM  
I just killed a bunch of kittens.........
 
2005-03-29 09:35:15 AM  
SherKhan, you have made my day. That movie is ass-tounding.

And is Brad Pitt also supposed to star in this remake?

Look, I'll never hit it with Catherine Z-J, but I propose the following in the name of order in the universe: Brad should drop Angelina, who is hot but utterly insane. He should get together with smoking-hot Catherine, who needs to drop the creepy and ancient Michael Douglas.
 
2005-03-29 09:37:24 AM  
I would have shot that take over and over again

Enfapment.
 
2005-03-29 09:38:37 AM  
i guess i'm one of the few people who can't stand czj

she has no talent

and is the anna nicole of hollywood

/just sayin'
 
2005-03-29 09:39:18 AM  
Whenever I hear that name I think of that awesome ass-shot from some crap movie about jewel thieves.

I wanna tax dat ass like the govament.
 
2005-03-29 09:40:25 AM  
Forsythe P. Jones Is "Quincy" next?

Not sure, but i heard there's a Kojakin the works.

/thinks Catherine Zeta-Jones is a biatch.
 
2005-03-29 09:41:32 AM  
At least the next MST3K generation will have a hell of a lot of choices...
 
2005-03-29 09:43:45 AM  
Programmer Cat

Get Mario Van Peebles to direct, and maybe it'll be baaaadasssssss.

Star Jone as Weeeeezy
 
2005-03-29 09:44:28 AM  
Hollywood is not "out of ideas" they just produce whatever crappola they think will generate = $$$
The pirated versions aren't even worth watching.
 
2005-03-29 09:48:43 AM  
I'm 'working' in one of the Gold Midrise buildings from the opening credits. Nothing says 1970 like a glass building with the windows tinted gold.
 
2005-03-29 09:49:09 AM  
Mirrorz

Forsythe P. Jones Is "Quincy" next?

Not sure, but i heard there's a Kojakin the works.

/thinks Catherine Zeta-Jones is a biatch.


Isn't Samual L. Jackson to star??

/thinks of Chappelle's Sam Jackson beer skit
 
2005-03-29 09:50:20 AM  
jer2911tx

and is the anna nicole of hollywood

You mean, that Welsh accent is fake and she's really trailer-trash from Texas? Is she bisexual, at least?
 
2005-03-29 09:50:34 AM  
WHAT A BORE!
 
2005-03-29 09:52:25 AM  
Not sure, but i heard there's a Kojakin the works.

Kojak: Back in Black*

Ving Raimes I think.

*What? I think it would make a great theme song.
 
2005-03-29 09:52:59 AM  
orrinbloquy:

Because a multi-book series satirizing 1970s British culture/brit-fi already successfully adapted to radio and television miniseries will be done justice by ninety minutes of CGI and American actors.

The filmmakers, Hammer & Tongs - H&T, Holborn Studios, 49-50 Eagle Wharf Road, London N1 7ED l T: +44 (0) 20 7684 0011

Arthur Dent, played by Martin Freeman, a british actor.

Startibartfast, played by Bill Nighy, a british actor.

Marvin, played by Warwick Davis and Alan Rickman, two Brits.

Voice of the Book, Stephen Fry, British.

10 out of 22 extras listed, who had thier birthplace data, were all British. Curiously enough, the rest had no birthplace data. Those without birthplace data also included D.N.A.'s brother & sister, whom we can assume are also British, tipping the scales of verifiable British extras listed on imdb's main page for the movie at 12 to 22 extras being British. I didn't click the expanded listing because my obsession only goes so far.

/Even if it sucks I'm still buying the toys. And yes, I'll have a towel @ opening day.

//Oh yeah, seems that Douglas Adams had a hand in the screenplay, before his passing. And his brother & sister are in the production. Somehow I don't think it will suck as much as you hope.
 
2005-03-29 09:53:53 AM  
TV and Hollywood are clearly both out of ideas... if it wasn't for remakes of bad 70's and 80's TV shows their output would dwindle to nothing.

Starsky and Hutch movies, Kojak remakes starring Ving Rhames... hell, why not remake Ironside with Dennis Franz? Or the Rockford Files with Jennifer Garner instead of James Garner?
 
2005-03-29 09:55:51 AM  
The problem is that they're remaking the WRONG shiat. Dallas? C'mon! We need a big screen version of BJ and The Bear. That is art, my friend. That is art.
 
2005-03-29 09:56:21 AM  
I stand corrected, Ving Rhames as Kojak.

Gonna git Medieval on this Lollypop!!
 
2005-03-29 09:59:44 AM  
Or the Rockford Files with Jennifer Garner instead of James Garner?

That's gold, Ghost of Abe Vigoda, out of ideas Hollywood gold! I'll set up a meeting and we'll pitch it.



There's an expression "So and so could read the phone book and make it interesting". Miss Garner could wipe her ass with the yellow pages and I'd watch fapped rapt.
 
2005-03-29 10:02:29 AM  
Heh.



My previous comment was #42. Cool.
 
2005-03-29 10:05:03 AM  
Filmmaking is the largest industry of plagiarism in which it is also completely normal... every film is based on other material or other films, even the greatest films are. The problem is that hollywood has gotten itself into a loop where it can't see anything out of its formulaic style and it shows. Honestly, one could base your movie on Dr. Strangelove of all movies, but if you simply sit down and think things through so it is different (and likable because of this difference) then you've got another success. Of course another problem is that for some reason the screenwriters aren't looking towards literature for inspiration which is like having a cheat sheet provided to you during final exams and purposefully writing down the opposite answers
 
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