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(WCPO)   Bob loses reason to smile as feds raid Enzyte headquarters   ( divider line
    More: Obvious  
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36714 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Mar 2005 at 1:45 PM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

203 Comments     (+0 »)

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2005-03-18 01:27:18 AM  
This is Bob. Bob's company is being investigated for fraud. Good thing Bob sent away for his free sample of Enzyte! When he goes to prison, he'll be very popular!
2005-03-18 01:33:47 AM  
Huh .. I didn't know they were here in Cincy..

Thats funny.
2005-03-18 01:36:19 AM  
Will this get those obnoxious whistling commercials off TV, particularly sports broadcasts? God I hope so.
2005-03-18 06:05:43 AM  
Mrs. Bob is a farking HORSE.
2005-03-18 09:36:35 AM  
On a unrelated note, I would do WCPO's Katherine Nero in a heartbeat.

[image from too old to be available]
2005-03-18 09:41:06 AM  
Best news I've heard so far, today.
2005-03-18 10:14:18 AM  
"You think you trust somebody when you come into a company. You want them to trust you and you want to trust them, but when things like this happen it makes it kind of hard," said a Berkeley employee.

You really should turn a critical eye on your employer and prepare yourself for broken bonds of trust when YOU KNOW HE SELLS PENIS PILLS.
2005-03-18 10:21:15 AM  
guilty. string em up.
2005-03-18 11:18:20 AM  
I am SO farked!

[image from too old to be available]
2005-03-18 11:36:35 AM  
Damn right they should be busted for fraud, you can take their damn pills for months and still be hung like a flacid field mouse. Not that I know that from personal experience, I mean people have said, you know I have never needed any kind of male enhancement...

Hey look over there

*runs from thread*
2005-03-18 11:43:33 AM  
"auto ship"
since that article doesnt say exactly wtf that is.. i will assume it ships the pills to you and the company keeps charging you even though you stopped ordering?
2005-03-18 12:01:45 PM  
BIn January, Berkeley founder and owner Steve Warshak, 38, told the Enquirer that he expected the company to spend $60 million on advertising and launch 40 new products in 2005, including a pill for attention management, an eye lubricant and a bath gel for aching joints. He said he set a goal of $320 million in sales this year. Warshak said the companys sales fell short of a $250 million goal in 2004. link

good luck with that, guys.

i guess what annoyed me so much about their ads was that they masqueraded as some sort of legitimate pharmaceutical when, in fact, there was no f*****g way.
2005-03-18 12:49:15 PM  
I read an article about the Enzyte pills somewhere a while ago. It basically pointed out that they just call them "Male Enhancement Pills", but they never say what the enhancement is. Some guys buy them hoping to become larger, some hope for stamina, some hope for more sensitivity. Basically, they're able to hook all of the insecure guys with one ad, without actually promising anything.
2005-03-18 01:31:52 PM  
On a unrelated note, I would do WCPO's Katherine Nero in a heartbeat.

I second that sentiment...and I don't need no steenking male enhancement...
2005-03-18 01:49:11 PM  
I will say that the recent spat of commercials that look, sound, and feel like drug commercials is a brilliant marketing ploy. I great way to add a sheen of legitimacy to "herbal products".
2005-03-18 01:50:13 PM  
I don't understand the 'need' for male enhancement medication - honestly, most/all the guys I know are horney enough, it's the wives that need the damned pills. As a married man, let me be the voice of reason here - get me medication that'll make the missus as randy as a rabid wolverine - then I'll be impressed (and grateful).
2005-03-18 01:50:42 PM  
Bob's wife is fugly. No wonder she's so damn happy.
2005-03-18 01:52:40 PM  
" makes it kind of hard..."

/just kind of?
2005-03-18 01:53:08 PM  
... but when things like this happen it makes it kind of hard," said a Berkeley employee.

I'll let you make your own joke.
2005-03-18 01:53:36 PM  
They're taking away Bob's Enzyte, now he can wipe off that sh*t-eating grin as soon the med wears off lol.
2005-03-18 01:53:49 PM  
Poor Smiling Bob
[image from too old to be available]
His middle name is Wayne!
2005-03-18 01:53:49 PM  
I hate those farking commercials.
Are they going to go away now?
What exactly was this shiate supposed to do anyway?
2005-03-18 01:53:53 PM  
I'm going to sell Male Enhancement Water.

Bet I could get 5 bucks a bottle.
2005-03-18 01:54:30 PM  
Thanks for the laugh, submitter. :)
2005-03-18 01:54:41 PM  
Just wanted to point out the creepy resemblance between the smiles of "Smilin' Bob," and the channel 9 weather guy in the upper right hand side of the page.
2005-03-18 01:54:45 PM  
Berkeley Premium Nutraceuticals

I misread Nutraceuticals as "nuticles"

2005-03-18 01:55:39 PM  

That was flaming obvious....enhancing ~what~ exactly? They probably snowed a lot of people simply as a result of well-produced advertising.

/that's never happened before.
//story of American consumerism.
2005-03-18 01:56:08 PM  
Ok we need a 3rd Cinci story today to compleat the hat-trick. (god i miss hockey)
2005-03-18 01:56:33 PM  
That's what they get for depicting "Bob" without his pipe.
2005-03-18 01:56:38 PM  
Damn! I thought for sure BigTuna took my comment when I saw his quote. Then ElectorSnizzle snipes me.

Alright Dean, You win this round, but the war isn't over.
2005-03-18 01:56:39 PM  
I thought this was about "Bob" Dobbs.

/Give me SLACK or KILL ME!
2005-03-18 01:56:47 PM  
oops, banner changed. Oh well.
2005-03-18 01:56:52 PM  
IMO the FBI should do a press conference where they just read out the list of customer names
2005-03-18 01:57:15 PM  
Bob's wife is fugly. No wonder she's so damn happy.

This... is Bob.
Bob is no longer smiling, since his Enzyte wore off.
The next time he is greeted at the door by a very happy missus, watch Bob claw his eyes out and scream in horror.
2005-03-18 01:57:35 PM  
My dad has those pills in plain sight in his kitchen cabinet. He's 62. I wanted to vomit.
2005-03-18 01:58:27 PM  
Anyone else notice the mail truck with the caption:

U.S. Postal Inspectors searched the facility"

Don't Postal Inspectors get to drive regular vehicles? Do they make everyone drive those stupid delivery trucks? Weird. I just got an image of the truck pulling up and about 30 Cliff Claven's jumping out in full riot gear.
2005-03-18 01:59:05 PM  
My favorite Enzyte commercial is the one where Bob "does the buddy thing" and gives his friend some Enzyte. At the end Bob, his friend, and their wives, are all having a conga line.

Clearly their little swing party is only beginning.
2005-03-18 01:59:26 PM  
figures that the feds would raid a company thats hireing
2005-03-18 02:00:23 PM  
bump- amen!
kidney are for idiots that like to waste money.

All enzyte does it keep you half erect all day long, so you look bigger...but aren't...
2005-03-18 02:01:15 PM  
That's great, I'm picturing the fully raid suited feds with rifles and gas masks, and then mailmen in those blue uniforms and a satchel with some letters in it getting ready to raid the place.
2005-03-18 02:01:32 PM  

Newman was actually driving the van. The Claven force jumping out was purely coincidental.
2005-03-18 02:01:56 PM  
I'd do Bob's wife.

She seems eager to please in a kind of abusive-relationship kind of way.

/plus that hair-do!
2005-03-18 02:02:00 PM  
I too, was fooled by the commercials. I thought it was a legal drug like Viagra.

/now the damn whistling is stuck in my head
2005-03-18 02:02:07 PM  
All enzyte does it keep you half erect all day long, so you look bigger...but aren't...

from experience?
2005-03-18 02:03:04 PM  
Add to that Jerry pushing along that mail tray thingie.

Thanks MysticSavage
2005-03-18 02:04:00 PM  
As a married man, let me be the voice of reason here - get me medication that'll make the missus as randy as a rabid wolverine - then I'll be impressed (and grateful).

Medication? Try divorce.


/try the veal
2005-03-18 02:04:34 PM  
Woo hoo! I hope they go out of business. I hate those commercials! I find them very creepy, ala Brain Candy without the favorite memories. On that note, I agree that Bob's wife looked rather mannish.

I bet that sinister "smile" was a muscular side-effect.

/Mad at Enzyte for using my name in their worthless commercials
2005-03-18 02:05:36 PM  
This is how their scam worked on me:

They market an anti-fatigue product called Altovist (or something like that). I ordered the free sample as it was advertised on a radio ad, paid the ship/handle and tried the product (it turned out to be green tea extract). The product sucked. Buried in the small print was the auto ship policy, and in a couple of months, viola...a three month supply of a crappy product for $70.00!!

I'm pretty savy to web purchasing but I truely missed the auto-ship policy on this crap, so I felt scammed. When the bill came I contested it with my bank, which was difficult because the reciept wasn't under the name Altovist, it was under the name Enzyte, the "male enhancement" product. I didn't even tried to explain this to my bank...I just wanted my money back, which I never got.

I hope this idiots go to jail.
2005-03-18 02:05:52 PM  
NuttierThanEver you just made me laugh in a loud, unprofessional way while at work.

Why don't you just explain why I was laughing to my coworkers, hmmm?
2005-03-18 02:05:53 PM  
I like the Bob commercial at the Christmas party--those office broads just can't wait to sit on Bob's lap. I especially like the look on the older black lady's face--surprise and awe when she hears the news. By the end, that short-haired chick is just squirming with anticipation of gettin' some Bob meat.

For whatever's it's worth, that was some damned effective (and amusing) advertising. Kudos to their marketing department.

/selling vaporware is every marketer's dream
//in marketing
///don't hate--I work for a non-profit healthcare organization
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