Bad submitter. No baunaunau

Hey, kids, make sure they ate your homework, too.

/wink, wink

The Danger alert color of the today is: baboon's ass red.

I, for one, welcome our new maurauding baboon overlords.

Submitter is a baboon. Story says that children are needed at home to GUARD the crops.

Oh, you must mean mARauding

Oh boy, that monkey is going to pay!

/Knows that Monkeys and Baboons are not identical animals.

Yeah, I hate it when that happens.

stupido: Had to remove transmission from an 85 ford ranger for the same reason. Damn farking cat should have been cooked instead. Overdrive never worked after that

the purple assed mandrill unavailable for comment



dildo.

I am SO using that excuse.

My best "I can't take the final exam":
Showed up lame, with a really nasty virus. I had crutches accesorized with a plastic bag filled with snotrags. Sat down, alternately blowing my nose/coughing and staring blankly at my calc exam. 20 min later, I surrender and reschedule my exam.

uatuba, you made me do a spit take! Long live Kent Brockman, a.k.a. Kenny Brockelstein

I have no sympathy for the little farkers. Imagine how the baboons in the Bronx Zoo feel, surrounded daily by packs of fat, smelly New Yorkers. And those baboons never get out at all.

Those kids are pretty tough if their scaring off these bad boys:

/I know I'd run away screaming like a little schoolgirl.

I had a better one a few weeks ago: My corneas were literally burned off. UV flash burn. Luckily, they grow back.

It is the worst pain in history. Corneas have the most nerve endings anywhere in the body. I was heavily doped and always had bags of peas on my eyes.

Baboons, feh.

Woohoo! Somebody spelled "horde" correctly!

hnb: Woohoo! Somebody spelled "horde" correctly!


I thought it was spelled "whored"

2005-03-16 09:10:31 PM stupido:



Now, what's the wierdest reason or excuse you gave for missing work or school?


There's a fire engine blocking my driveway.

(It was true)

Frank Anthrax: My corneas were literally burned off. UV flash burn.

What the FARK were you doing? recreating Nagasaki?

"Oh well, at least I'm not trapped by a horde of marauding anteaters!"

/Whoever gets this reference wins my undying admiration.

Farking LARPers.

/heh

This kind of reminds me of when I tried to turn in a paper in college but became locked INSIDE my dorm room. I was on the basement level (reserved for performing arts majors so we could make a lot of noise...or at least that's their official story) and the dead bolt broke off in the door when I tried to open it.

When I called the front desk to tell them aboout my problem, they laughed at me. Farkers :P Naturally I made one of THEM turn in my paper for me after I slipped it under the door while maintenance was cutting a huge chunk out of the thing just to get me out.

Now, what's the wierdest reason or excuse you gave for missing work or school?

Injured one of my balls so bad having sex that I had an inflammation and could barely walk. It was kind of embarassing, especially after word got out as I was limping around town and sitting down real slow all the time.

Halfmast Trousers


Now, what's the wierdest reason or excuse you gave for missing work or school?

Injured one of my balls so bad having sex that I had an inflammation and could barely walk. It was kind of embarassing, especially after word got out as I was limping around town and sitting down real slow all the time.

hmmmm. that where you got your screen name?

WHAT?

"The orphanage was able to buy a door, now the monkeys cannot bite me. I am like sugar to them!"

Now, what's the wierdest reason or excuse you gave for missing work or school?

That's a toughie. Probably would have to say:

The neighbor's barn blew across the road and crushed my fence.

Fact of the day...a male baboon has the largest canines of any animal in Africa, including the lion. They can fark you up if they're in the mood.

/Thank you "primate social behavior" class

Unavailable for comment: last seen near Kampala.

i read that as "A horde of masturbating baboons kept me trapped in my home"

/seriously

Works every time.

Let me get this straight. People are sending their children out to defend against a rampaging horde of these things?



I sure as heck wouldn't send one of my own children up against that thing. I wouldn't even send myself after that thing. Hell, even if Macho Man Randy Savage and George Thorougood offered to go kick some ass one one of these, I'd still put my money on the baboon.

no, one time in high school I had a better note, it read "My brother (my parents were out of town so my brother was signing the notes) has been late everyday for the past 3 weeks, so he figured "hell, why break the farking streak." needless to say, they rejected the note and every note which was written in the past 3 weeks. Needless to say I also had to serve absolutely no detentions

Ever since that guy got mutilated by those chimps I have a strange apprehension about all apes and monkeys.

anyone else?

Gilliam317:

Well, it looks like a situation between go to school, or eat dinner tonight. I would stay home and protect the crops for sure. but then i live in the US, and dont own crops. Completly different situation.

Yeah, and I'd be whipping up a big ol' plate of purple baboon ass to go with my crops too. No farking munkee is going to get between me and my grub or it is "game on" and munkee goes in the stew pot!!!

Jonr - Perfect call on I.R. Babboon!

As if being "categorized as vermin" isn't enough.

"Honey, it's your turn to get mauled by the babboon! I always say, why keep a bloodthirsty primate in the back yard if you can't get mauled every now and then?"

those farkers are mean! I applaud the "let's send the kids out to be mauled first" philosophy

"Oh well, at least I'm not trapped by a horde of marauding anteaters!"

/Whoever gets this reference wins my undying admiration.


As long as Lela does not kick you into the pit.

At one point, I was told had the second-best excuse ever for missing a marching band practice (go Marching Salukis!) because I had to go pick up a '66 Mustang I'd won in a raffle. I was bumped to third later in the same season, however, when my friend Ben missed a day because a paint-can sized container of ravioli slid off a shelf at the Country Fair market and knocked him unconcious while he was bent over looking at bulk pickles.

Best ever? Tuba player had to go home and cut all the testicles off the pigs.

And they were all Republicans!!